Event The 205 is dead, LYVE COLLECSHUN FRED - FAIL TO PROCEED

[explosive-cabbage]

 

So this morning I was on my way over to Malham on the back roads, and I hit a puddle coming into a little village. The water sprayed up and onto the windscreen and immediately froze. Wipers didn't make much difference so I thought I would wait till I got through to the other side of the village, and find a place with a nice bit of bright sunshine to get out and scrape the ice off.

 

Just the other side of the village whilst squinting through the thin layer of ice I saw a Police cone out in the middle of the road, and drove round it. My immediate thought was that some drunk playing silly-buggers had dumped it there overnight.

 

Next thing I remember was waking up with my head out of the front of the car, my chest on the steering wheel and the front of the roof pushing down into my shoulders.

 

I recon I hit the tree around 25mph, and trees don't tend to move when they are this big.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I was propperly confused and shaken, I had lost my glasses and was covered in glass, in my hair, in my clothes, blood streaming from my hand and blood in my hair. I was badly winded, had really bad pains accross my chest and down the top of my back from my head, and it took a while to calm down. I was more or less pinned between the steering wheel and the top of the windscreen surround, and I had no idea what had happened until I scrambled out of the windscreen and had a look backwards....

 

Fortunately a local farm with horses invited me into a barn for a brew and a sit down. I called the parents out with a chainsaw and the RAV 4 and after a while when I was still breathless and in pain down my neck I called an ambulance.

 

The parents arrived, followed by the Police and eventually by an ambulance.

 

The Ambulance guys checked me out and told me that even though I didn't have any bones out of place I should probably get to hospital ASAP.

 

Dad said that I had chickend out halfway through, I got the most important bits through, myself and the engine, and if I had been going faster i would have made it out the other side!

 

The police man had some arkward questions and at first was very hostile but the family from the farm stood up for me; and when Plod realised that Dad had brought a chainsaw to clear the tree with he was much more laid back. All he wanted was for the tree to be cleared and the car moved, so another farmer came with a telehandler and lifted the tree off the car - we towed it clear with the RAV.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When we realised that the car still ran and drove fine, I drove it home steadily in convoy between the parents cars, with my head sticking out through the sunroof and my chin resting on the sunroof seal. Luckily the cops had gone and didn't see me drive off! I had some funny looks off cyclists and other motorists!

 

This picture showed how I drove home, with my head out the sunroof.

 

 

You know it is a decent crash when you have to climb out of an oraface other than the door.

 

 

 

 

I had some breakfast and a brew and Mum took me doown to the hospital, they put me on a spine board and did a few x-rays, and glued a whole in my scalp.

 

 

 

Unfortunately my favorite Top Barks Dog Training hat took the full force of the windscreen and was sacrificed for my safety, otherwise I would have probably lost significant clums of hair.

 

 

So now to the important bit, and this is where YOU come in...

 

I'm looking for a cheap replacement.

 

Has to be-

• Below £500
• MoT'd, for at least a few months
• Turbo Diesel
• Veg-oil friendly
• Older than 20 years - (classic insurance)
• Towball
• Manual

I would like it to be-

• preferably small hatchback, or a large off road 4x4
• PSA and would be a massive bonus, especially 205/309 or citro-batic.
• Fast / fun to drive
• Good looking

I am going away backpacking the world at some point in the next 12 months, so it doesn't matter if it is dog rotten and a throw away car, its not permanent.

 

I await your suggestions!

 

Thanks in advance.

[beko1987]

 

Fuuuuck. Impressive and terribly awful at the same time.

 

One stupid cone to guard against a fallen tree?

[Bren]

You are a lucky bastard that you were'nt seriously hurt. The car is bent metal - you are much more important.

 

The bobby may have seemed hostile but he was probably relieved that he was'nt passing a death message - give the guy a break!

 

You requirements point towards another pug.

 

If I were you, i'd by a lottery ticket.

[JohnK]

Fuck you have had a lucky escape there!

 

Edit - If it's any help, if I win the dog shit ZX in the roffle tonight you can have it for the cost of a pint!

[Six-cylinder]

What a story, I am glad you are reasonably OK.

 

What people will do to be top dog on here!

[Rusty_Rocket]

Shiiiiiiitt!

So pleased you're not injured badly, now buy a lottery ticket!

[Richard]

If I win the ZX you can have it. Prince of Darkness, but I'm sure you can fix that.

[beko1987]

I think loads of people who bought a ticket for that zx are breathing a sign of relief now!

 

Plus, when you go off backpacking and re roffle it, think of the beast it will be!

 

Its a sad loss for the 205 though, bent metal aside, it was a fucking riot to take up the hill at sf15, even more so being a passenger as you bought it down!

[The Moog]

Fucking hell... Definitely lucky ..

 

And well done for pictures! I would have been worrying about other things than getting pics for us lot.

[Stanky]

Fuck, lucky escape there but I echo the comments about putting a single cone in the road to warn other road users of the decapitation danger - why was the road not closed off or a police car parked across it to physically prevent people from driving along there. Had you been in a taller vehicle it would have cut you in half!

[beko1987]

 

Rip

[Lacquer Peel]

Glad you're ok, those photos are terrifying.

Chompy's Xantia no good to you?

[bub2006]

Oh shit fella. Now if you see a car caved in like that you instinctively think the worst. Bloody lucky mate. Hope my luck hasn't passed on to you and this was just an unfortunate incident. Car can be replaced. I'll keep my eye out round here for you.

[bub2006]

If I win zx it's yours. I'd offer you saxo but it's only a na diesel amd no towbar

[Cavcraft]

Genuinely winced at the pictures, thank God you're ok.

[anonymous user]

I can't belive you came out of that relatively unscathed, alive even.

[skattrd]

It's a shame about the car Will, but it's good to see you're ok.

[Jim Bell]

Shit a tit.  Very lucky there dude, very glad youre ok. Or not too badly hurt anyway.  If I win something in a roffle, you're welcome to it for nowt. 

 

With luck like that, youll probably win the lottery tonight anyway.  With a ticket you find in Scarlett Johanssens fanny.

[Slartibartfast]

I've very glad you weren't seriously hurt, you were seriously lucky. I don't think driving it the way you did was the best way to approach getting it moved, you could have decapitated yourself if anything had gone wrong.

 

RIP your car, it looked a fine beast.

[cobblers]

Fuckin spiders man! I did LOL at you driving the thing back. Top man.

 

Didn't the spinal board malarkey seem a bit pointless once you'd already climbed out of the car, been interviewed by the plod and then driven it back with your head out of the sunroof? Surely if owt was going to happen it already would have?

[ruffgeezer]

Jesus, I'm just really glad you got out in one piece!

 

I don't have any other shitty old diesels about the place at the moment, but I do have a horrid petrol Picasso, that'll learn you for squishing a defenceless puglet!

[doobietoo]

glad you are ok.... poor car I would think everyone who got to "have a go " in it is sad at its passing.....

[Asimo]

You need a Lotus Elise, would have gone straight under no probs.

 

PS monitor neck, back and shoulder pain really closely - anything: make a lot of noise and see a specialist.

 

Oh and the "driving with bleeding head out of the sunroof hole" is calendar material for November surely?

[dome]

Ooft. Glad you're OK. I'll miss that crazy wee car. I may know of a 306 dturbo coming up for sale before Christmas? Prince of darkness pumped but you know the score.

[Cavcraft]

If you're exceptional at welding (and trust me, you'll need to be) you can have my 'spare' 306 for sod all. Bosch pump and probably still has a few litres of veg in it.

[320touring]

Fucking hell Will!

 

glad you are ok. will see what I can find up here, and can deliver if required

[Craig the Princess]

Wow, did well to make it though that so well, good luck with recovering.

[RoadworkUK]

Fuuuuuu.

 

Ck.

 

I'm delighted that you're... well, alive.

 

Shame about the Pug. That said; once a perspex windscreen is fitted, and assuming you cut the pillars so the doors open and close again; is there anything there that makes it an actual MOT failure?

 

Good economical summer car.

[For Fiats Sake]

Very Lucky/unlucky at the same time!

 

Typical Yorkshire getting back in and driving off though.

 

If it were me I'd be taking some legal advice, that cone was not enough and the road should have been closed and marked as such.

 

Don't be put off, most solicitors will give you a free appointment, I wouldn't bother ringing a tv advertised mob though!

 

I used Ware & Kay in York for an employment matter and they were excellent.

[Felly Magic]

Bloody hell fire mate, very lucky escape you had there.