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[Guest Hirst]

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[dollywobbler]

Go on then. Score me.

[red5]

Must read instructions....

[stillOrange]

First is S = 13-19 years

Last is E = Very Good

Any Volvo will do

What do I get?

[eddyramrod]

As long as it's automatic and not German I won't be too worried.  Montego 2.0 (petrol) estate in VDP trim would be nice.

[scaryoldcortina]

S - 13-19 years, A - Excellent.

 

I'd like a grey Ford, with ghia trim.

[eddyramrod]

Well I didn't win Billy's, so I suppose this will have to do.  At least it's in colour!

[BavarianRetro]

I've only been here a few months and I accept that my sales record is pretty poor, but I took over an area from a complete, lazy, useless Tory bastard who was more interested in running for parliament, becoming Secretary of State for Scotland and running about in his own yellow T5 estate with the private reg H1RST than getting off his arse and selling our superb products. And the twat was promoted to head office too. Transport manager or something. Couldn't organise a pub crawl in Bridgeton.

 

You want to see some of the letters I've received about his performance and unless I'm rolling a BMW850i next week, the MD will.

[Keymaster]

k- 5 to 7 years

b- excellent sales skillz

 

French and luxurious please

[320touring]

Sub 1yr, good.

 

I'll have that mk3 Cavalier 1.4L in beige please.

 

I've heard they glf..

[dollywobbler]

  On 04/08/2015 at 18:05, Hirst said:

Well, you have to tell me what you want first.

 

With my hectic lifestyle, I have no time to read things properly. And this mobile phone doesn't get signal anywhere. To give it a better chance, I'd like a car with a huge sunroof. Which means it simply has to be a BX. I don't reckon I'll be scoring myself a turbo diesel, but could you nudge me up to a BX 1.4RE?

[danthecapriman]

First is D = 1 - 2 yrs

Last is N = adequate

 

I'd like a Volvo 7/940 auto but given my performance I doubt I'll get it!?

So, if that's the case I'll go for a Sierra 2.0 please, in auto flavour as my time is far too important to waste changing gears manually!

[Ghosty]

3-4 years; close to being sacked. 

 

Considering my position I'd like something average, modern/interesting but not too high end. I'd quite like a Civic Coupe in a low spec, Belmont/Astra saloon 1.6, something like that.

 

I do NOT want a blue Maestro Clubman diesel.

[sierraman]

13 years and adequate. Just so long as I don't get the Maestro 2.0 D Clubman. Me and the wife would just sit down and cry and wonder what we had done to deserve the Maestro?

[eddyramrod]

I don't know what we're all grumbling about, at least we're being consulted.  Most places, all you'd get is "you're having Brian's old heap, off you go."

[Vin]

V 13-19 years

N Adequate...

 

Please may I have a Fiat Tempra Estate Mr Hirst...

[Angrydicky]

Been with the company less than a year, close to being sacked. Could I have a Rolls Royce Silver Spirit please?

[Matt]

5-7 Years

Very Poor

 

Well shit. So long as it has a seat I'll be happy sir.

[scruff]

S

D

 

Would like DIESEL, high gearing for motorways but ability to tow, 5 seats, large boot or estate. No Vauxhalls please.

[Negative Creep]

5-7 years

Poor

 

Can I have a Sierra? Although after that appraisal I'm guessing it will be a 1.6 L with 13 inch steels

[skattrd]

Seeing as I've been here ages and am doing rather well I think I deserve a sporty executive car so how about a Croma turbo? failing that I'd settle for an Alfa 155.

[Angry Sheep]

First is A = <1 year

Last is P = Poor

 

Erm... a Reliant Robin?

[HH-R]

Current Length of Employment
(GHIJ): 3-4 Years

Current Sales Report
(OPQR): Poor
 

Not looking good. No VAG or GM shite, please. If I get an Astra Merit diesel then I'm going on a BBC documentary.

[Lankytim]

Can I have something French or Swedish please. Plush too.

 

I love the way you smashed the Dyson contract Mr Hurst. Would you like a game of squash one day?

[anonymous user]

Well I've been here less than a year, with a poor record; however don't forget that my Grandpapa started the company, Daddy is the current MD, Uncle Horace is the Finance Director and Mummy is the Company Secretary. You are not family, so unless I get something sporty, with a turbo I might be in your job next week. (Not that I want your job, it would cut into my day)

[garethj]

I've been with the company 3 years and my sales are good.  A Mondeo shows everyone that I've got a new car but with my track record I need something a little extra, a 3 Series BMW is a bit small so I'd like a 5 series.  Don't try and fob me off with a 518 unless you can lend me a screwdriver to prise the badge off the back.

 

I want people to see I'm someone with class, I'd maybe take an Alfa 164.  Those Audi 100s are alright but a bit of a wimp's car, I can't imagine they'll ever be popular on the fleet unless it's a company of limp wristed accountants.

[320touring]

  On 04/08/2015 at 18:46, Hirst said:

Well you haven't been here long enough for a Cavalier.

 

 

But based on your good report, you can have the engine.

Yaaassss! RACECAV!

[fordperv]

For me it's 1-2 years, very poor

 

Please give me a ford

 

On another note I already have a 1992 sales reps car, it was owned originally by a bona fide 1992 sales rep imagine the feeling you'd have pulling up in this to a sales meeting when it was brand new

 

[NorfolkNWeigh]

N=57 years

H= Good - as in 'Bllody good rep, Chris Finch'

 

Obviously has to have an i on the back and fog lights , I'm not some pleb you know.

Can't be seen driving any Frog shit either, the customers don't trust em or the Japs

I'll make an exception for a Kraut motor although that might rub some of the older purchasing directors up the wrong way,f so nothing obvious like a Merc, maybe an Audi, they're subtle but I reckon they'll make big inroads in the company car market.

[Doctormop]

I've been here 18 months Mr Hirst Sir, my sales performance shows room for improvement, some less charitable persons than yourself have summed it up as poor but with the right set of wheels I know I can achieve my full potential and become an asset to this wonderful forward thinking company that doesn't think a man is past it just because he's 43 Reggie.

Red Lada Riva estate please CJ