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Guest Hirst

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I've only been here a few months and I accept that my sales record is pretty poor, but I took over an area from a complete, lazy, useless Tory bastard who was more interested in running for parliament, becoming Secretary of State for Scotland and running about in his own yellow T5 estate with the private reg H1RST than getting off his arse and selling our superb products. And the twat was promoted to head office too. Transport manager or something. Couldn't organise a pub crawl in Bridgeton.

 

You want to see some of the letters I've received about his performance and unless I'm rolling a BMW850i next week, the MD will.

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Well, you have to tell me what you want first.

 

With my hectic lifestyle, I have no time to read things properly. And this mobile phone doesn't get signal anywhere. To give it a better chance, I'd like a car with a huge sunroof. Which means it simply has to be a BX. I don't reckon I'll be scoring myself a turbo diesel, but could you nudge me up to a BX 1.4RE?

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3-4 years; close to being sacked. 

 

Considering my position I'd like something average, modern/interesting but not too high end. I'd quite like a Civic Coupe in a low spec, Belmont/Astra saloon 1.6, something like that.

 

I do NOT want a blue Maestro Clubman diesel.

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Well I've been here less than a year, with a poor record; however don't forget that my Grandpapa started the company, Daddy is the current MD, Uncle Horace is the Finance Director and Mummy is the Company Secretary. You are not family, so unless I get something sporty, with a turbo I might be in your job next week. (Not that I want your job, it would cut into my day)

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I've been with the company 3 years and my sales are good.  A Mondeo shows everyone that I've got a new car but with my track record I need something a little extra, a 3 Series BMW is a bit small so I'd like a 5 series.  Don't try and fob me off with a 518 unless you can lend me a screwdriver to prise the badge off the back.

 

I want people to see I'm someone with class, I'd maybe take an Alfa 164.  Those Audi 100s are alright but a bit of a wimp's car, I can't imagine they'll ever be popular on the fleet unless it's a company of limp wristed accountants.

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N=57 years

H= Good - as in 'Bllody good rep, Chris Finch'

 

Obviously has to have an i on the back and fog lights , I'm not some pleb you know.

Can't be seen driving any Frog shit either, the customers don't trust em or the Japs

I'll make an exception for a Kraut motor although that might rub some of the older purchasing directors up the wrong way,f so nothing obvious like a Merc, maybe an Audi, they're subtle but I reckon they'll make big inroads in the company car market.

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I've been here 18 months Mr Hirst Sir, my sales performance shows room for improvement, some less charitable persons than yourself have summed it up as poor but with the right set of wheels I know I can achieve my full potential and become an asset to this wonderful forward thinking company that doesn't think a man is past it just because he's 43 Reggie.

Red Lada Riva estate please CJ

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