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Grimmest car to pick up a date in

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I had a J-reg Proton in that metallic green colour. I went to the pub with a load of mates, and a mate and a girl mate decided to go on into Liverpool. I was not drinking and driving so I took them both there. The girl in the back had her hands in the air and wouldn't touch the seats as they were filthy and grimy (done before I had it - it had a really cheap, low rent interior). I always remember that, like she wouldn't touch the sides of anything in the side of the car lol! Wasn't my fault.

My mates all called me 'Proton Knob' when I had that car, was not a very cool vehicle to be seen in, ever.

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When i meet Mrs V8 she had a brand new W reg Renault Clio Si in dark blue.

I on the other hand had a brand new W reg Renault Clio 172 oh how i laughed at how i had a higher spec motor that her,oh how she laughed at what a tosser i was. It didn't take Mrs V8 long to have a Clio 172 to pose around in and i had a Si.Mrs V8 then px the blue Clio for a Megane floppytop.At the time she worked for renault.

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Anything that makes you look like an enthusiast. 

 

I was once wearing my Imp Club t-shirt with a picture on an Imp on it (Obviously) and a group of people nearby commented on how cool it was until I explained to them that I actually owned an Imp. Their enthusiasm turned into 'Er...oh' and casually looking the other way.

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When I picked the current Mrs N up for our first date, she met me just round the corner from her parents house. On getting in the car, a practically new 280e (W123) she expressed her surprise that I wasn't in ' One of those noisy,smoky old heaps your lot drive around in.' Apparently her stepdad had said she wouldn't be going out of the door if one of those pikey tearaways that hang around the farm turned up. Me and a couple of mates rented a barn on the farm where she kept her horse.

I didn't tell her I was in the Merc, my boss' car, because my '67 327 Impala with a mail order MOT and homemade exhaust consisting of lengths of scrap lorry exhaust and a pair of cherry bombs, wouldn't start. With its 6' wide front bench ,that was my dating* car.

Now, we've got 4 daughters aged between 17 and 27, how I long for one of the hopefull hipsters in HP'd hatches to turn up in some rotten old Yank heap.

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When I met the present Mrs Lankytim 12 years ago I had a 1983 LWB Datsun Patrol- 3.3 litre 4 speed manual. It was a frigging beast! It was very much cosmetically challenged, and very noisy... and VERY slow... When I picked Mrs Lankytim up on our first date she thought I was making a joke when I walked her over to it, then to her dismay she saw that the key in my hand fitted the door lock. She admits now it could have been a bit of a deal breaker... fortunately she stuck it out and we now have 2 kids and have been married for 10 years. 

 

The "Green Gay machine" as it became known, became very unreliable, constantly breaking down- It also fell to bits so I weighed it in using my 2 litre scorpio estate and car trailer. Gross weight 4.4 tons!!

 

Wish I still had it TBH....

 

 

(the Green Gay Machine was the Datsun's nickname, not the Wife's)

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Picked a bird up once in my works van, a J reg petrol sherpa, went for a bevvy ( got her pissed ) and got laid in the front of it! She was bent in half kinda stood up, I knelt on drivers seat goin like a jack russel. Never seen her again as she was a slaaaag. Fond sherpa memories

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I think I'm doing it all wrong. I tried to impress Mrs DW by turning up to our first date in my immaculate Peugeot 306 DTurbo, in metallic silver, with some rather snazzy (I thought) alloys. She was not at all impressed and she turned up in her filthy, battered Citroen AX. I couldn't believe the difference when I turned up at her house for the first time in the 2CV. That was definitely love at first sight! The 2CV responded by hurling its door handle onto the driveway...

 

Our first Christmas together, Mrs DW made some door trims (still fitted). Yes, she got my car a present rather than me. I decided then she was a keeper. Or was it the time she perfectly executed a double-declutch during her first ever attempt to drive the 2CV? That was before Christmas.

 

Not that Mrs DW isn't sniffy about some cars. She was seriously displeased when I investigated hearse ownership and even more distressed when I joined the Leyland National Preservation Group! She also HATED my Citroen BX 16v, because it went too fast and made too many unpleasant smells. 

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I've done it the wrong way round...

1st date with Mrs Frogchod was in a four year old series one CX25 Pallas, worked a treat, she was all over me :)

The CX was traded for two Mehari, the resulting melange of the two saw us off on our honymoon to Club Cassis in the south of France.

She's still with me, despite my Visa, Dyane and Jumpy.

Recent Rialto aquasition is hers. Deffo a keeper...... (Mrs Frogchod that is)

 

 

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1st date, I took her to a party on the back of a Suzuki TS125ER, got completely rat faced, and rode her the 2 miles back to her house down an off road route across the fields in the dark, and then still pissed rode home at speeds of up to 60 mph in a 30 mph zone, and hit a brick mid bend. Probably because I was so pissed up, I didn't fall off. In fact I just plough on home.  I did fall off in my parents back garden, attempting donuts on the lawn.

 

This is the only time I've EVER been pissed in charge and actually I may be making it up and there's no proof it ever happened.

 

However on the second date I took her to McD's in Southport in my Dad's Sierra Estate.

 

We ate the chips on the Prom, and then went to Smarty's wine bar, where I stayed completely sober.

 

Some 28 years later we are about to celebrate our silver wedding. 

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There's a type of Van my sister refers to as serial killer vans; ideally an old Ford Econoline (watched too many 70s slasher films). Failing that an old Bedford Dormobile. *must have brush painted matt black on inside rear windows.

The chosen vehicle of the (American) serial killer is (or was in the 60's and 70's)...... a VW Beetle.

 

This is in John Douglas's Mind Hunters. He's quite amused by this as that's what he was driving at the time. Later, he says, they started moving on to VW camper vans.

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As my forum name suggests I once owned a rusty, russett brown Vauxhall Nova... This was the only car I ever did dating in.

 

When I was in the 6th form I offered to take a girl I fancied home one night after school in said nova, things were going well until she said torn left now! Being over confident and 17 I thought I could make it and stacked it into the side of a Rover 200! She was told never to get on a car with me again!! My only car accident to date!

 

Fast forward a year and I had met Mrs B, we walked to our first date, but for the second I wielded the(dented, rusty and brown) Nova. I managed to lock us out of it and had to endure a bus then taxi ride to retrieve the spare keys! Thankfully she saw the funny side, and we're still together!!

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I was mini cabbing when I first met Mrs_W201 so technically the first car I picked her up in was a 1993 Sierra Sapphire 'Azura' in flat white paint, on the second or even third time around the odometer and a chronic gearbox and diff whine. With council plates and 'Linthorpe Cars 252222' on the side for bonus points. But it was colour coded white with Ford alloys and a Cosworth rear spoiler, which fooled a few pissed-up punters that they were being picked up in an actual cossie...

Mongs.

Anyway once then-future-Mrs had 'registered an interest', I found myself doing most of the staff runs from her workplace. Apparently late at night, they could hear the whiny 'box and diff of the Sierra from a good couple of miles away...

 

So, once we got together (the fact I was already in a sort of 'rocky' relationship when we first met was a bit of a stumbling block...), I couldnt fail to impress with my own car. Shamefully I was in my 'small hatchback on finance' phase, so at the time I had a year old white Micra K11 with dealer fitted Nissan motorsport bumpers and skirt kit, with P.I 30mm springs and spanking new TSW alloys fitted the week before. All skilfully avoiding the matter of the 1.0 60 brake engine under the bonnet...

 

Must have worked, 18 years later, were still together and she even tolerates my liking for bringing home old, brown, gas guzzling German shite on a regular basis. Although the Allegro did more than raise an eyebrow....

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mrs-sloff picked me up in her corsa b 5dr auto, which went through more oil than fuel. our second date was to buy a celica to replace it. 

 

 

worst was a shagged e36 328 estate, used for the odd drift weekend,my pug 106 1.5 dizzler had eaten its 11th gearbag. but i was on a promise. collected said birdhaving totally forgot it wasnt taxed mot'd or insured...... then found out her dad was a traffic cop.......

 

 

still got it on in the thing though.

 

next date back in the pug, and the passenger seat collapsed.....

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Split up with a girlfriend of two years ages ago over the phone. She lived in London, 200 odd miles away.

I told her I'm going to drive down in my Escort so we could talk things through, she laughed and said the car would never make it down here - she was right, the car barely drove 10 miles, and she was a hoo-er, and that was that.

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  • 20 yrs ago I'd take my date (now my missus) out in the grim looking blue one. If that was off the road I'd use the grimmer silver one.  

Fast forward 20 yrs and I'm still in the same model (see profile pic). No silver one though nowadays. (P.S. Silver Datsun Bluebird wanted.)

Edit - Oh, and I also have a Ted Bundy Beetle (passenger seat removed and everything) complete with creepy 666 reg plate. Haven't tried picking up a date in that.

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I was reading this out to the missus and she reminded me of the time that I picked here up in a sierra estate that had no interior except the seats and you could see the road passing through the hole in the floor.  She still married me in the end though.

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