Jump to content
Station

Grimmest car to pick up a date in

Recommended Posts

Let's have a contest!

After seeing the grim LDV van in three/four/five tone matte blue, I was thinking, which is the least attractive car you could collect a date in?

 

 

post-4240-14241654633.jpg

 

Imagine cruising up in this beauty, whacking right up the kerb and then say she has to get in the driver's side as the other door is jammed.

Then having to find a suitably large parking space out of town (and then walking the mile in - no taxi).

And then possibly getting her to push as the fuel pump conks out. Lush!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I once picked up a long time ago ex girlfriend on a first date in a borrowed p38 of a trader mate was a good 10 years ago and I was 20 odd and felt like flash Larry It flattened its battery while we had a romantic dinner for no reasons except p38. Next date I pick her up in my scirocco to go on a walk in the countryside, distributor decided it didn't want to distribute electricity anymore on the drive out.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The first time I met my wife I was in a JLR press fleet Range Rover Sport. The first date I picked her up in my battered 1964 Series IIA V8 which was hanging out of it's ass - the thing she particularly liked was that when I started it I needed to jump out and delve under the bonnet to wiggle some wires and get the alternator charging.

 

The best I can think of is my pal Munkie who has a orange Firenza... he picked up some bird from her parents and the dad came out to see this vision in P38 (the other P38) and dubious colour matching. He slowly took in the blacked out windows and the sticker on the windscreen - DON'T LAUGH YOUR DAUGHTER MIGHT BE INSIDE - and politely waved as they "sped" off in a cloud of blue smoke. When he later asked what her dad thought of his motor, she said; "He thought it was a bit... er... rapey... but gave you the benefit of the doubt"

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My missus isn't arsed as long as it'll get us where we're going and is clean inside.

I can't think of what the worst one was at the moment, as they've all been utterly rubbish anyhow.

 

 

Edit: God forbid I ever entered the dating game again, I'd take Tayne's sister out in something awful so she never expected better.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I once collected a prospective date in my A35.   No carpets and leaky windscreen.  I had tried to mop up the floor with newspaper but it left little damp shreds of it everywhere like a giant hamster had recently vacated it.   I even bought sheep-shagger seat covers to go over the buggered front seats but that just made it look like I expected her to get nekkid on it later on....She suggested we walk to the pub.   The next time I took the company van but her dad took one look at that and lent me his Morris Oxford.   What he thought that was going to save her from, I don't know - it was way more comfy than a Simca 1100 with cardboard "mattress"

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

This fine young lady in the not so fine pile of shite parked behind her , fresh from the local scrappys with leaks , no heater , no carpet , odd coloured seats etc etc 

Weve been together 25 years now , both  the fine young lady and  the pile of shite 

 

valleyofrocks.jpg

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Did Imps come with carpets? Or is it not an Imp?

Its a Imp van so no carpets , just a rubber mat which it didnt have either , passenger seat was an optional extra from the factory which it did have so at least she didnt have to sit on the floor , it did have a floor btw 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I spent my childhood being ferried about in a light blue converted Commer Imp van (LUF 702F, long since dead I think) which my dad bought at BCA Alley Palley as a van and converted himself, I remember him using a hand nibbler to cut out the rear windows (took hours) and he had to grind out the back of it to put the bench seat in. That was always getting new seats fitted when they wore out, so they were always odd too.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Met a lovely girl on a night out..........arranged to take her out a few days later.

 

I turned up on a knackered c90 stepthru.....untroubled by tax, mot or insurance.

 

All seemed to go well although we had to walk to the pub.

 

A nice kiss/ minor grope goodnight and I run off up the road to bump start the beast.......pretty unsucessfully. Looking back I don't know why I chose to run up and down past her house (x about 10 till it started) but it certainly made a poor impression.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The grimmest I have ever picked girls up in was my 1982 2.0 auto ghia sierra that I bought in 2001 with 12 months m.o.t for £50 it had been m.o.t'd by stevie wonder, i made it safe but the archs were gone to inside the door shuts, the wings were holed so visually it looked a turd, the amount of flange I picked up in it was amazing, a few mates commented how they had nice cars but the birds weren't interested in them, but I had this shit box and they were round me like flies around shit, it wound them right up

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Picking up a bit of alright is a challenge when one's only (mostly) functional car looks like this:

 

20150106_152759%20Copy.jpg

 

Admittedly I've yet to experience this, the shoulder length hair and corduroy sportcoat do a good job of keeping the tidies at bay long before the transportation comes into question. But if they were brave enough to settle for the sheer levels of external style they'd find a passenger side footwell with quite a bit of water in it, a heater that is stuck on, catastrophic wind noise and considerable draughts from fucked window seals, a blowing exhaust about an inch from their feet and ICE consisting of a £10 Chinese mini-amp and a mono speaker.

 

Interestingly women over 40 are a lot more receptive to the Doloshite, I think it reminds them of the shocking heaps of vehicular shite they were accustomed to in their youth. Probably being driven by a dozy twat with an ill fitting corduroy jacket and long hair...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I don't go picking up ladies for dates, but if I did the Princess would be my weapon of choice.  On at least two occasions two separate women of the female variety asked if they could get in my car because it was so lovely.  Admittedly, one of these curious creatures did have a pint of beer in her hand at the time.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

When I was 17 I had just been up to Warningcamp near Arundel for an uncomfortable shag in my Imp when we decided to pop to the local McDonalds drivethrough for a bite to eat. The door handles on the Imp kept coming off as I had lost the pin keeping them on and at some point during our 'grease and oil change' we had knocked off the winder on the drivers side and it had gone AWOL. Instead of simply parking up and going into the McDonalds I thought it would be a better idea to reverse through the drivethrough and got her to order it out of the passenger window. She was not impressed.

 

This is not the story I came here to tell though. There is something gnawing at the back of my mind which I can't quite recall which must mean it was pretty bad but I cannot for the life of me think what it is.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

This bad boy. The lady in question was mortified and as our relationship developed I eventually bought the red one you can just see next to it just to stop her moaning.

 

post-4427-0-93239300-1424200856_thumb.jpg

 

 

She has long since been ex and the red van was a pig too.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

×
×
  • Create New...