New Invalid Carriage purchased-SOLD!

[dome]

Morning All. And what a lovely morning it is here. Much like it was last Saturday when I thought I'd go for a spot of mountain biking. What a lovely idea*
 
Off I go down to Innerleithen in the borders, one of the 7stanes routes(not to be confused with the condition of the seats in most of my cars which have 7 stains) What followed was about a couple of hours of sweating, grunting and moaning and finally I was here. Behold, the majesty of my Handjob
 

 
Now normally this would be followed by some rather bloody exciting descending back to the car park with lots of jumps, rocky sections and general ways of terrifying yourself. 
 
What followed for me though was, er, well I don't know. The next thing I remember is coming round, with a broken helmet and no fucking clue where I was, who I was with(no-one) or anything else. Secondary on my list of ailments was a pain in my shoulder but the complete loss of memory was the main issue. 
 
I gathered myself together and got back on the bike. As I carried on things started coming back to me, by checking my phone I saw text messages reminding me that A I had a girlfriend and B she was in Glasgow for the day. Looking in my rucksack it turned out I owned a Porsche(result!). I eventually worked out from signposts which trail I was at and started following the escape route signs for the car park.
 
Now I should add that although I'd came out by myself it was only because I knew it would be busy and indeed there were plenty of other riders on the trail. None of whom saw me crash or immediately after but help would have been there had I needed it. 
 
 
After fuck knows how long I had arrived back at my car(thankfully remembering I had left it in a different car park than usual) and with some difficulty managed to get the bike into the 944. My head was a lot better by this time(and I think I was probably powered by adrenalin if I'm honest) and I managed to drive the 30 odd miles back home. Got in, called a taxi and took myself to A&E. Here is what is left of my helmet.
 

 
After X rays it turned out I had broken my collarbone as well as the obvious concussion. My good lady came back from Glasgow and I was finally released from hospital at 10 on Saturday night-just in time to avoid most of the regular Saturday night drunken arsehole crowd. The doctor was satisfied that there was no lasting effects, although what follows may make her reconsider....
 
As it is my left shoulder driving is possible but a manual is a no-no-especially the Porsche which has a pretty hefty shift action at the moment. So I thought, better get a cheap, sensible auto to get around in for a couple of months. 
 
So yesterday i came home with this.
 



 
A 1994 vintage Jaguar XJ6 3.2 Sport. 68k genuine going by history/MOT's and giffer owned for 10 years from 2004. MOT til December and Tax til August. It has had a bump at the front so needs a bumper and bonnet replacing, I will tackle that when I'm in better health. Drove fine on the way home so it will be getting pressed into service for the next couple of months then will be offered on this parish.
 
So in summary, looking for an excuse to buy a whiffy old barge? Knock yourself out...

[the judge]

Almost worth the pain. Waft factor 20

[HMC]

Sorry to hear you had a nasty " off" on the bike and hope your well on the way to recovery. Waffting about in an xj40 is very therapeutic, they should be available on the NHS!

[Skizzer]

Blimey, that's a bit scary.  Glad you're (sort of) alright.

 

Thankfully, you've obviously remembered you're a shiter.  Top purchase.

[spike60]

Auto's do have their uses, I drove 200 miles home after cutting a tendon in my left hand before going to A and E. Would have been difficult in a manual. If doc has told you told you not to drive the insurance company can get arsey if you do, it was 3 months before I drove again even though not really affected. Hope you mend soon!

[Micrashed]

a) Holy fuck on the "off"

Holy fuck on the Jag

[320touring]

Glad you're ok, doubley glad you bought that jag-saves me doing it!

[HillmanImp]

Quite scary what damage was done to that helmet. To think that could've been your head.

 

Love the Jag. Total pub landlord.

[carlo]

Is a broken collar bone not extremely painful then?  Or is just the fact you're a tough Scotsman?

[dome]

Cheers for the comments guys, every cloud has a silver(Jag) lining and all that.

 

The collar bone is sore-a week on now its much better but still fucking agony if I move it the wrong way. Sleep is tricky and putting on a tshirt takes about 3 days. I get tired really easily too. Back to the hospital tomorrow for a check up-hopefully the bone's healing OK.

 

At the time of the crash though I was more worried about the concussion and was determined to get myself back as far as possible. If I'd got taken to hospital my bike would've been left abandoned aswell as my car 30 miles from home with no way to get either home. I didn't think about it at the time but must've rode about 7 or 8km (all these trails are measured in km) back to the car including some steep downhill sections.

 

The main thing I've taken from it is how lucky I was. It could've been a lot worse. I've been mountain biking for 20 odd years and have ridden things like the Fort William World Cup downhill course and one Munro so far-stuff you'd struggle to walk down in places. There's been plenty of knocks and scrapes but this is my first biggie. It won't stop me though, I'll be back on the bike as soon as I'm healthy again. If it didn't have risks it wouldn't give you the same buzz when you get it right. And as I can't remember what happened I can't use that as an excuse for wimping out of stuff... 

[wackywacerwill]

Every cloud and all that, well done. (doh, too slow)

 

Hopefully the Jag (and the Mrs) will make up for the lack of handjob action over the next month or two.

[Des]

That helmet now demonstrates your sensibility in using one, and that Jags should be available on prescription for treatment of injuries. Hope your head's better, and you remember how I paid cash for the Porsche and you're servicing and valeting it before you drop it down, and there's the grand I lent you.

[cort16]

You got that for 500 quid? That's almost worth getting a head injury for.

[Tetleysmooth]

Nice car Brian, but what happened to you-know-what?

Hope you recover quickly from your injury.

[vulgalour]

Ouch.  Nice.

[Magnificent Rustbucket]

I'm glad to hear there have been no long term effects - that head injury could have been properly nasty!

 

That is  a lovely looking 3.2S - particularly for £500! - It shows it is still possible to get an XJ40 for almost nothing.

 

It is definitely worth you joining www.xj40.com if you haven't already. The site has a lot of knowledgeable people and a 'money saving skills' ethos and can help keep these old Jags on the road cheaply and painlessly! Parts are cheap and these Jags are very easy to work on, when your health has improved a bit.

[PhilA]

Glad you're okay, looks like a nasty knock.

 

You're proven yourself normal at least; "Suffered concussion, bought a Jag."

 

They are pleasant, enjoy it. Effortlessly rapid.. don't ever really feel like they're going or accelerating particularly fast until you look at the speedometer..

 

Phil

[overrun]

You are Aaron Ralston AICMFP!

[eddyramrod]

IMG_20140426_175815721.jpg

 

 

So in summary, looking for an excuse to buy a whiffy old barge? Knock yourself out...

 

 

Well I reckon the search for my 2014/15 Winter Beater is over already.  Sod Volvos when I could waft about in a Jaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaag!  As a bonus, it's old enough to be next summer's Classic too.

 

More importantly, glad you're in one piece after that tumble.  It must have been bloody worrying as you started to realise things weren't right.  Good luck with the recovery, and I'll see you just after you've re-taxed my car.

[Bren]

Maybe I' ll try throwing myself down the road.

 

And wake up owning a Jensen interceptor.

[dome]

Thanks for the comments guys, been away all day and knackered now. Jag is on commuting duty tomorrow-only 2 miles though. WCPGW?

[dome]

First day went well-Jag wafted me to work and back nicely. Threw out the nuclear strength air freshener the previous owner had put in-trying to get back to the aroma of cow and tree that these things should have. Treated it to a new wiper blade from Halfrauds-a whopping £2.63 with my trade card

 

Got a boy up in Stirling with a silver bonnet which is ideal, might take a run up this week. Need to source a bumper now-apparently the late Sports like mine have a different bumper so I can't just get any XJ40 one.

 

There's a rattle from the front which the seller reckoned was drop links, sounds reasonable but I'm not ready to be poking around under it yet. Under the bonnet all the fluids seem fine-both levels and colour. It has the usual XJ40 leak from the front right of the cylinder head/rocker cover-now that the cam cover bolts are tight I'm hoping this will help. It has a couple of giffer mods-a stupid aftermarket accelerator pedal and one of those magic fuel economy boxes under the bonnet-both of which will be thrown as far as possible away from the car as soon as I am able.  

[Skizzer]

the aroma of petrol and seized brakes that these things should have

Fixed that for you

[dome]

Well today this happened

 

 

Ropey old Jag called out to rescue French Bicycle delivery wagon. And no, that's not me. Pug has an intermittent starting problem which I have yet to hit in the right place with a hammer to cure. 

[xtriple]

You jammy bugger! You were sooooooo lucky you weren't seriously hurt. I had to give up (motor)biking after one too many falls and the warning that any more 'offs' would result in a 'no more walking - ever!' scenerio.

 

Still miss it after two years...

 

Love the Jag. Bloody good buy for £500, had a few x300/308/series 1,2 and 3 XJ6s but never had an XJ40. all Jags are great places to sit and quite addictive.

[dome]

You jammy bugger! You were sooooooo lucky you weren't seriously hurt. I had to give up (motor)biking after one too many falls and the warning that any more 'offs' would result in a 'no more walking - ever!' scenerio.

 

Still miss it after two years...

 

Love the Jag. Bloody good buy for £500, had a few x300/308/series 1,2 and 3 XJ6s but never had an XJ40. all Jags are great places to sit and quite addictive.

Aye, I know how lucky I was. Been doing it for 20 odd years and that's the second time I've been in hospital with it-first was 20 years ago... Motorbikes scare the bejesus out of me though-I know I would get addicted to them really easily and coming off one of them on the road doesn't bear thinking about. 

 

I feel safer throwing myself down one of these MTB trails than I do riding to work on the road though. Yes I know there's a lot of arsehole cyclists but there's at least as many arsehole drivers who don't pay attention and seem set on ruining your day. 

[dome]

Well this is a lovely thing to waft about in-by far the quietest car I've driven. Took it to Glasgow on Friday night and my mate who wasn't drinking was put on chauffeur duty which went down well, feeing like extras from a Scottish Snatch. Errr.

 

Today I had to navigate Edinburgh rush hour traffic and I actually enjoyed it-quiet, autobox making life easy and I felt coccooned from the outside world. I can thoroughly recommend an old Jag to help get over head injuries...

[dugong]

I drove an XJ40 XJ12 last week in that colour, with similar giffer-dents. Went well, but didn't feel 6 litres-worth of quick. 

[dugong]

Well today this happened

 

IMG_20140430_141804349.jpg

 

Ropey old Jag called out to rescue French Bicycle delivery wagon. And no, that's not me. Pug has an intermittent starting problem which I have yet to hit in the right place with a hammer to cure. 

Calendar nomination!

[dangerousdave]

glad your ok highlights why people should wear helmets and I love your style a cheap sensible auto a jag