Our Dirty Little Secrets.

[Luxobarges_Are_Us]

I really like a lot of the new Ford stuff, and VW/Audi. They all feel like quality products which I guess has been VW's bag all along (as creaky as my Golf was 18 years down the line) but Ford have really come on strong since the introduction of the Focus. I'd certainly rock a new Focus.

 

I agree with you about Ford, but as for VAG...

...I don't think I've ever driven an Audi of any type or age, but, to me at least, the current Golf feels less well-built than the Cee'd or the Focus. And, of course, those who decided to bring the Fox to Europe should be tried for crimes against humanity. OTOH, the Polo is a very nice place to be for a small car....only problem being that it's not actually small! The Skoda line-up looks far more interesting than VW proper, but my only experience with them has been as a taxi passenger in Octavias and even one Roomster.

[skattrd]

 

I have a soft spot for pillarless cars and do want one of these .... but I know it would end in tears and steal all my money.

[seth]

I quite like the idea of one of those silly fast V8 smallish Audi estates. But I'm sure after a brief flirtation I'd get bored of the comfort and pointless unusable speed.

[KruJoe]

Astra VXR Nurburgring. I had one when I worked for a Vauxhall dealer. Loved it

 

Did you measure the paint thickness often?

 

Er???

 

On an anal mentalists' forum somewhere, there's a VXR Nurburgring "cared for" by a particularly special chap. It looks just like that, though I suspect the back box may be half full of rancid cum.

Someone may have a link for it.

[Negative Creep]

He was actually considering rejecting the car as the paint was a few microns different in the roof and he found some microscopic blobs of overspray. Would have loved to work for the dealer he tired that with..........

[garycox]

http://www.detailingworld.co.uk/forum/s ... hp?t=81391

[KruJoe]

Found it:

http://www.detailingworld.co.uk/forum/s ... hp?t=81808

i asked the salesman if i could have half hour on my own with the new car so i could fully inspect it...

 

Perhaps even more worrying is the thread on his previous car: http://www.detailingworld.co.uk/forum/s ... hp?t=25400

[Pete-M]

I quite like the idea of one of those silly fast V8 smallish Audi estates. But I'm sure after a brief flirtation I'd get bored of the comfort and pointless unusable speed.

 

Heh, it's only pointless sometimes. I still give the Jag a bit of welly occasionally and it never fails to raise a grin. Rest of the time it's a big comfy limo. I just wish they'd done a really well sorted (and good looking) estate version.

[Tayne]

.

[Alexg]

 

On an anal mentalists' forum somewhere, there's a VXR Nurburgring "cared for" by a particularly special chap. It looks just like that, though I suspect the back box may be half full of rancid cum.

Someone may have a link for it.

 

 

Yes, I know the one! The bloke had a blue one before.... I think he bought it from Greens of Rainham where my mate worked at the time.

[tonedepear]

 

I have a soft spot for pillarless cars and do want one of these .... but I know it would end in tears and steal all my money.

 

Yes, it would. I love these more than I've ever loved a modern car ever, I think, but when I worked at Renault we were one of the few dealerships who actually had one. In the 6 months I worked there, ONE person got as far as wanting a test drive, and after 30mins of the mechanics and hapless sales-dude trying to get the fucker to start they'd left again. As far as I know they never got it to start, and it never moved from it's special place in the showroom the entire time I was there.

 

It looked fucking glorious though.

[Justin Case]

Now the car was ready for washing...I decided to wash in pure reverse osmosis water zero ppm in the dunk bucket and 50/50 pure and hot water in the shampoo bucket...Shampoo used to day is Chemical Guys Maxi Suds II and a pure sheepskin wash mitt which i thought id try after over a year using a special silicone free sponge and obviously grit guards in both buckets...Wheel brushed used are my 2" , 1.5" and 1" sheepskin drumsticks..... even though throwing a bucket of warm water with a capful of Fairy Liquid in it over the car when heavy rain is forecast gives 99% of the results for 0.1% of the effort

[Mr_Bo11ox]

^^^ a 2" sheepskin drumstick sounds like an interesting implement, I may get one and ask Ms_Bol if she wants to see it.

 

Theres a 100% gold dust piss take of the Astra polishing lad on Barryboys:

 

http://www.barryboys.co.uk/phpBB2/viewt ... 53&start=0

 

Its only funny if you've read the lad's original thread though.

[scooters]

I got loaned a Ford Ka by a breakdown service last year. It was a Mk1 and I actually really liked it for a wee runaround - capable enough on the motorway, simple and straightforward to run

 

Could be tempted in the future.......

 

I would love either a Jensen Interceptor or even better a bloody big 70's yank of some sort.....but the cost of gas makes both no option for me. Mind you, you don't get much better out of a XJ6 S3 so.......

[Rhythm Thief]

Found it:

http://www.detailingworld.co.uk/forum/s ... hp?t=81808

i asked the salesman if i could have half hour on my own with the new car so i could fully inspect it...

 

Perhaps even more worrying is the thread on his previous car: http://www.detailingworld.co.uk/forum/s ... hp?t=25400

 

Fuck my boots. Some people have too much time on their hands. Still, whatever turns you on I suppose. I wonder if he's an Autoshite member?

Apparently the chap who bought his first VXR (the blue one) wrecked it by driving it into an ambulance. I must confess that made me laugh ...

[M'coli]

Found it:

http://www.detailingworld.co.uk/forum/s ... hp?t=81808

i asked the salesman if i could have half hour on my own with the new car so i could fully inspect it...

 

Perhaps even more worrying is the thread on his previous car: http://www.detailingworld.co.uk/forum/s ... hp?t=25400

Someone please hand him a can of coke to open after they've given it a really good shake...

 

I feel guilty about having more than 2 types of colour restorer and 2 types of polish in the garage, but having seen the states of this, I don't feel so bad.

[CreepingJesus]

I'm going to go further with the Fiat 500 thing: I wouldn't mind one, but our 4-year old has her heart set on the baby pink one in the local dealers. I'm actually slightly tempted.

I'd have the Panda 100HP tho'; most of my routes to jobs are A- and B-roads, which could keep me amused for a while. Plus, there are plenty of knobends round here with Ferraris and Porkers, and I wouldn't mind finding out if they could actually drive those things.

Having said that, I'd look after any one of those stripped out 2wd 911's*. And keep my eye out for any chancer in a Panda 100HP...

 

 

*I've been informed, in all seriousness, that I'd end up single if that ever came to be!

[Pete-M]

Theres a 100% gold dust piss take of the Astra polishing lad on Barryboys:

 

http://www.barryboys.co.uk/phpBB2/viewt ... 53&start=0

 

Its only funny if you've read the lad's original thread though.

 

That has made me giggle somewhat. Ta.

[AeroNautiCal]

Now i then spotted a problem on the roof which i was really unhappy about...A small paint blob about half a mm in size but none the less its there probably a spit from the spray gun...

 

Photographing the evidence!

 

 

This guy is fucking amazing, just looking at the vast range of uber specialist cleaning products he's using, and the amount of times that he's washed it, in the same session, leads me to conclude that he's waaaay too fond on that car...

 

Using depth gauges and trick lighting to check the paintwork... FFS, it's a car, not a spacecraft!

 

That parka skit was the business!

[trigger]

What a sad twat! If there is such a thing as reincarnation I'd love to come back as a seagull just so i could shit all over it like they do to my car when i clean it.

 

Still i think it ironic that the car has now been trashed by a yob.

[Rhythm Thief]

Still i think it ironic that the car has now been trashed by a yob.

 

Not ironic, merely hilarious.

 

I'm not a particular fan of Vauxhalls, but surely something like that is designed to be hammered around, well, the Nurburgring with smoke billowing off the tyres, rather than spending its life having the fucking paint depth measured. The photos of the two guys with Canons photographing insignificant blemishes are great ...

[Barry Cade]

I'd piss myself if he lost his depth perception for a sec ,what with having one eye closed, and screeched a telephoto lens right across the roof..

[Barry Cade]

I would only be able to drive it at night when no-one could see me in it and would have to hide it from anyone who knew me, but, I have secret hankering for a late sixties or early seventies Yank muscle car, all roaring V8 through sidepipes, spinning fat white lettered tyres and lime green paint with a black vinyl roof, there are a few that would fit the bill, even though I'm not very good on Yank cars I'd know it when I saw it, definitely not subtle or stylish. Just don't tell anyone. Other than that a dark green Bristol 407 or chocolate brown Alvis TE21 for me thank-you.

 

Been there, although it was top banana yellow. Wanted one since I was a kid. It was shit.

[Negative Creep]

Still i think it ironic that the car has now been trashed by a yob.

 

Not ironic, merely hilarious.

 

 

Ok it's a sad hobby, but he didn't deserve to get it trashed

[trigger]

It was after he sold it NC, the new owner bought it from a garage managed to kill it.

[Negative Creep]

Ah ok, never mind then!

[Guest]

To be fair on the bloke, the tools/equipment used like paint thickness gauges are pretty commonplace with high-end valeting. They're to do with getting paint level, it's something to do with making paint look more reflective and consistent. When you bear in mind these people are often working on ridiculously expensive superexotics for incredibly fussy people, making sure the job looks absolutely 100% at the end is how they get paid. Both of those blokes appear to do this for a living, so they're just using their skills for their own ends for a change.

 

Bear in mind also that if your job revolves around making paint look nice, you're going to be much more perceptive about imperfections than anyone else. It's a bit like these geezers who install £10K seperates Hi-Fis for audio nerds, once they get the hang of the job, they'll be unlikely to be able to go home and listen to stuff on some £20 Asda boombox without it bothering them.

[Pillock]

Well, we're Autoshite. As we (in the large) can't see much point in a brand new main-dealer mainstream hatchback, we equally struggle to see how a £5k pot of wax is 2,500 times better than a 1.99 Wilkos jobbie.

 

Autoshite valeting is driving through puddles with the wind in the right direction that it sprays over the car.

[Negative Creep]

I just park the car up until it rains. Sorted.

[eddyramrod]

What's rain?