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  1. Starting out on the late collection of the micra that I won in the raffle! Early start this morning, stared the first leg of my journey with a Uber to my local bus station. my driver was perfect, arrived within 5 mins and took less than 10 mins to do my trip to the bus station, where I’m now sat waiting for the national express to London then onto Canterbury. Uber was nearly a no go as the app needed me to confirm my details, no problem apart from the app would jot accept the code. No biggie as my office is 300 yards from the bus station and I could have driven and left my car there if push come to shove. it is rather wet mind.
  2. cms206


    Good morning people of the internet. I have killed all my cars so have had to buy a new one. It is 11.15am as I type this and I have done three poos and one small vomit as a result of a choking fit. Stage one was returning a 1.3 diesel Corsavan to my work, where today's caper starts.
  3. I'm just about to go to a place to purchase another financial mistake shitbox, I won't be revealing where I'm going or what I'm buying until it happens. In the meantime, let's have a fun* guessing game as to what I'm buying and from where!!! Pictured: breakfast
  4. Well shit, that's over 9 threats! A triple collection thread. All MOTd. All possibly starting. All presumably stopping. The collection train starts in Glasgow at 12.15 picking up 2x shiters. A further shiter will be collected on the way. 4 shiters. 440 miles. 7hrs. Live updates in 3hrs if anyone can be bothered posting rp974wo9y0n51.mp4
  5. Well lets hope there's joy to be had somewhere. I think it's only been 2 weeks since the last car left so of course it's time to get another one... I didn't even know I wanted it until midnight Thursday/Friday. The alarm rings at 6am tomorrow, this will be the longest distance (non-international) collection yet, and the second oldest car I have ever owned...
  6. <husky film trailer type voice> Just when you thought it was safe to look at a collection thread. Soon will follow a dramatic story of a desperate man with a quest, against all odds, to have a running car in his possession by the end of the day. He will battle crowds of shoppers, day trippers and other hazards… <record stylus scratch sound> <nasal Chris Barrie as Gordon Brittas type voice> What actually will follow is a man heading across London on several trains and (hopefully) driving back around the M25 to put his new purchase into storage and SORNing it until 1st of July. It won’t be exciting, and it may put you to sleep after your Sunday roast. Poo count = 0 antihistamine count = 1 Extreme nasal excretions count (courtesy of @mitsisigma01) = 3
  7. Yes, I admit it. I have a problem. Far too many problems, in fact, and all four wheeled. Unfortunately, I also have a fully equipped workshop, plenty of parking spaces and a fully comprehensive trader’s policy, all of which combine to only facilitate my problem. Here we go again….
  8. Seems like it's that time of the month again... At least the weather is nice and should stay like this on the way home. No photos of breakfast, it was a bowl of cereal. Poo count zero.
  9. Hey all, long time no collection thread from me (I bought the Saab 10 months ago now! Time flies!). Let's take this opportunity to introduce a new member to the forum, @Saltyscotsman. He's been thinking about getting something shite for a while, and now is the time. This is going to be one hell of an introduction, too. A few days ago now, a Mitsubishi Galant was posted in the ebay thread by @Ghosty. This one, to be precise. It looked nice. 1990 H, in blue, with low miles and a very clean MOT history. However the last MOT (which was spotlessly clean) was in 2018. The car is also located in Surrey. Both @Saltyscotsman and I are in the vicinity of Aberdeen. The following happened on our small discord server: Thus, we now have a car that hasn't had an MOT since 2018 sitting in Surrey, which needs to get back to Ellon, roughly 12 miles or so north of Aberdeen. At this point, we contacted @worldofceri to get some figures. Then, @rantingYoof bravely volunteered his driveway in the Northampton area, and his services in driving it to an MOT garage. This means the plan so far is to get Ceri to transport it to Yoof's driveway then Yoof will take it to a garage while being wired money for any work it may or may not need. Then, Salt and I will likely get a flight to Birmingham, get picked up by Yoof, then drive the Galant north. I'm providing assistance due to my previous experience in stupid collections and my diary being completely empty for the next couple of weeks. Did I mention this is utterly, utterly stupid? The last time I did the Northampton - Aberdeen run was in late 2015 in that Lexus LS400 after another friend (now living in Oregon since late 2016) bought it from @rantingYoof so at least it was a known car. I think @dome, @320touring, @dollywobbler and a few others also know that car. That was done overnight on empty motorways in a time of about 9 hours. This will be done with roughly 1/3rd of the power* in a totally unknown car during a global pandemic. WCPGW?! *The carb-fed 1.8 in these Galants apparently makes about 85hp. So it'll be slower than either of my 1990s shitboxes. Fun times. As a thread is useless without pictures: Nice, isn't it? Doesn't help my nerves, though. The timescale so far is for Ceri to collect it on Wednesday the 21st, so no movement as of yet. This thread is just being put here to keep everything in one place. Live updates will hopefully follow at the tail-end of the week!
  10. Flat4

    Being sensible

    So on the weekend where we have panic buying of fuel, I'm doing the sensible thing and buying a car. And one that will drink fuel.... First mode of transport today was the V70 with Al twittering about the Proton Savvy and how if I'm having another car, then so is he...Fair enough but I think you'll soon see how different our tastes in cars is lol 2nd mode of transport today - This has required a bit of faffing to co-ordinate due to RMT strikes on Sundays for the foreseeable. This could be fun....
  11. What's going on? Its early Sunday morning. What time is it? Is that time. Why am I up early on Sunday morning? I'm working marshalling a rally Taking the kids to a club Only idiots and shitters post breakfast pictures on social media. Oh yes, that's it, I'm about to collect shite from the opposite end of the country. (Tea and breakfast are mot made yet)
  12. In nine hours (ish) I am collecting a new car. Some of you know what it is. Others don't. What is important at this time is that I am awake, and that means that poo count equals... one.
  13. It’s been a while but the familiar ache/burn got too much and I gave in again. For context I was bidding on a certain vehicle on eBay in early August, missed out on winning it by a fiver or something and called it a draw. As we all know this feeling of nonchalance manifests itself in a desire to do better next time. I put it down to be being the wrong time for such things, seeing as though child number 3 was due to be born in about 60 days’ time. With that in mind, and the feeling of freedom of the first day free from work and/or childcare since March I put my pushbike on the train, rode it a few stops and got out at Leeds urban bike park, where I was having a lovely time until I decided to have one more go at a set of jumps. The ground came out of nowhere and twatted me goodstyle in various places, mainly my left (dominant) arm which broke either side of the elbow. None of this matters a great deal but today finds me able to drive again and having won a subsequent eBay auction for a similar vehicle. The first part of the journey is on foot, in to the depths of Ravensthorpe no less
  14. Oh yes you bet its that time again! How can you make your car purchases that little more exciting and questionable? By buying it sight unseen in another country during a pandemic of course! You might remember my previous European collection mission, which technically never happened since I still haven't collected the car. Its currently at the house of a friend of the seller. It was originally supposed to be fixed up and ready by the beginning of May, Due to this whole pandemic thing and the fact that I couldn't actually leave the UK (and people on the other side also having had to worry about other things) the car wasn't ready though. It still isn't, but I have the promise (and address) of the seller that it will be done, and I should have the chance to see it again when I visit my parents. I might even throw my fuel pump in and hopefully make it run again. I will be there Monday. However, this is not the car this thread is about! There has been another purchase which needed a little more preparation in advance! Once again it all started with a search alert on one of the large German used car websites. The car was offered for a suspiciously low price after having been listed for about a grand more about a week before. Further investigation revealed that it was owned by a member of a facebook community I am also member of (somehow the seller must have remembered my comments on his post from absolute ages ago). We quickly got into a discussion, trust was built and a price negotiated. At this point it was clear that the seller just wanted to get rid of it, offering me the car, plus a significant amount of brand new spares, for a rediculously low sum. Now the reason the seller wanted to get rid of the car was an interesting one. Shortly after purchase (and posting in our FB group) an Audi driver apparently turned around in the middle of the road and just bumped into his car. While the damage wasn't too bad, the rarity of the car (and the fact that it was never sold in Europe) made the whole insurance claim spiel an absolute pita. Long story short, the Audi driver's insurance didnt want to pay the sum needed to fix the car properly (no surprise considering everything would need to be bought and shipped over from the States), he got irritated of the whole story and just wanted to get rid of the car. I contacted a friend of mine (who I wanted to purchase the car so I wouldnt have to), inquired if he could ask his mechanic to collect it, which he could on super short notice, and off he went. The car was delivered for a reasonable price, and with his mechanic offering very fair rates, everything TUV relevant was repaired (using the free spares) and the car inspected before I even saw it in person. I will collect my temporary 5-day plates on Monday and hopefully drive it back on my 5 hour trip to my parents without too much trouble. Maybe, if everything actually goes smoothly. Which it totally will during a pandemic in a 22 year old car. I guess you'll find out! Hint's (and picture of main visual damage) below!
  15. It is car shopping eve. I've done the important research, namely look at past live collection capers. And found a suitable car (here's hoping I do/don't win the Gallant steed roffle) I have a lift in a shittier car than one to be viewed sorted, a rendezvous with the seller (not autoshite member I don't think) Buy criteria: If it's not a total shitbox and if I think it will get me to where I need to be for the next week or so while my BMW is being fettled with then it will be a buy. Live collection caper criteria as laid out by @Jim Bell on a previous collection caper: "Collection thread tick list. Breakfast pic Car pic Petrol station pic Woolard pic (And for bonus points) Pic of a dog A pic of a car worse than the one you're collecting. " I also believe a poo count is normally required. Does that requirement also include photo of results? I will be travelling with a dog more than likely in a shit car. Not sure what a woolard is to take a pic though. This thread will have the added live excitement that if when I get there and the guy is trying to sell me a nail I have to reject it and start again! This is my first buy since being on this forum so if I go off piste feel free to shit-post. Anyway it's nearly 11 at night car-shopping-eve so I am going to get some shut-eye (as much as one can with a 10-month-old who hates sleeping) so if my cunning plan to sleep is interloped upon by said plentyn (thats wain in Scotts, bairn in North Eastern and child-faced daemon in Englandshire-ish) I'll here reading posts no doubt. See you all in a minute then.
  16. Hi all, i'm after some advice. I know there are at least a couple of us on here that reside over the channel and that the general wisdom level for collectioneering is pretty damn impressive. So what would your advice be in my situation? How do I go about getting a hydraulic Citroen in unknown condition (only that it is certainly not roadworthy atm) from France, near the swiss border in Héricort to me in Somerset? I REALLY REALLY WANT IT, and am quite happy to pay. In an ideal world i'd just hire/purchase a trailer and rock on into France - but I cannot drive a trailer on my licence (to young...). I've used shiply before but i've been fucked around once and had success once. Are there alternatives? I need to call the seller, but won't be able to until after work this evening - the ad says no emails (fucking irritating)
  17. In a more essential trip than Mr Cummings, I am off to collect a car. Been in isolation for about 8 weeks now, so flame me if you must. Masks, gloves and sanatiser packed as my journey essentials Taxi to the station (no buses). Now on the train to London, on which I have a carriage all to mysellf
  18. @TheMokritehas not eaten. I have had one Pringle. He may have bought shite. Heading South... About 2 minutes in car. May have to jump it of Fleur but remains to be seen...
  19. Ladies and Gents. Yes, it's me. The man who pops up rarely, solely to irritate folk by spouting nonsense about his Daewoo Leganza, then disappears as quick as he arrived. Like Coronavirus, but with added Daewoo class*. I am here with news. I have, within the last 3 hours, made an irreversible purchase. I'm £300 lighter already on a car that I have not seen. This is typical behaviour - heart before head! Yet, the heart doth not yearn for what hearts normally do. The car in question has probably never had a look of desire cast in its direction since the day it was built. I suspect the first owner probably signed on the line in a dealership (if you can call it a dealership) with a very matter-of-fact look on his face and not one glint in his (probably) deteriorating eye. Yet still, I am intrigued. I am willing to pay £300 just to find out how it stands up against my now beloved Leganza. I'm currently researching exactly how I'm going to get from Cornwall to Hampshire without infecting anyone, and preferably without becoming infected myself! I have until Wednesday...
  20. As I am determined to reduce* my fleet, and it is over a week since my last collection, I am off again tomorrow. This should* mean there is only one outstanding collection that I hope to complete before the end of the year. Does give me an excuse not to do the end of year stats though... I have just loaded the straps into the Disco, hooked on the trailer and tested the lights ready for the off. Trailer required as despite being MOTed and running, it has a fault that prevents driving. It is likely to be dark when I leave, have a photo as it was getting dark tonight. As for the collectee, I have owned one many years ago, but at the opposite end of the trim/performance level, though did not drive it much. The last one I swapped for a 1987 V12 XJS, the latest one was purchased for scrap money.....
  21. Good morning. I have been clearing out* for a while now. Today, a Volvo left. I have made tentative arrangements to have two others leave, so those are sold pending collection. Last week the Council Estate died at 5am when I was leaving work. The daily for some time, the ever reliable Montego EFi, started haemorraging fuel AND water in alarming amounts, as well as overheating in traffic as the fan switch has breathed it's last. A new water pump will be on order when I can be arsed but the fuel leak has been sorted. Bother. Neither Hyundai is currently MOT'd as my tame mechanic is on a bender. This can only mean one thing... I am boarding the first of four trains at 10.25am - IT'S NEW CAR SATURDAY! But first, a salute to a fallen comrade. Goodnight, sweet prince. 10-11-87 to 26-10-19.
  22. An international kolleckshun in reverse, the car is located in the UK but I am not! My friends arrived from the Bahamas to stay in France for a couple of months so the first thing they did was to ask me to source transport. The only sensible* thing to do was to buy shite from here, so as I am heading home today, they are coming along to kollect. They will probably spend a week or so in the UK before returning to France. For added bonus shite points, the transport is of course the bargainous AS Saab of many warning lamps! Will update when I can, which may not be often!
  23. I told myself I don't need any more cars, I've got enough and I'll get some fixed and have loads to choose from. Then you end up working too many hours, one cars breaks the week after getting it through an MOT, then another breaks and you're back to one working/legal car. Instead of getting them fixed you end up browsing ebay and bidding on yet another car. Today in pictures: … good night folks.
  24. FFS. Will I never learn? Wetherspoons, Friday night, steak consumed along with several pitchers of Long Island iced tea is NOT the time to check the ‘for sale’ thread on your handheld communications device for new posts, kids. Alarm duly set for 05.00.....
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