Buying cars checklist

[DavidB]

As I've had a string of extreme bad luck with purchasing cars over the past year, I thought it would be a good idea to make myself a checklist as I always forget typical things.
Obviously if you're buying a £200 shitter, you have every right to be exiled from the chap's driveway for being a cheeky bastard, but It's easy to be impulsive when you've seen a car you like and the heart rules the head, but also important to check the little things that will make a big difference when you've got it outside your house.

Like two fucking keys, one for the ignition and one for the doors, and maybe another one for the petrol cap - is there anything worse than hobbling to your car like a frigging jail warden,
How about checking the ignition key in the doors before handing over the money to see if the fucking thing even comes with the ability to lock the doors? How do you fancy having to change every lock in the car?
On a fairly high powered car, checking the rear tyres to see if they're completely bald, especially if the tight wad seller is refusing to budge even £5 off the asking price,
Quite importantly, if the seller produces a fucking shabby green slip from a V5 that was issued 20 years ago, you're going to be the one paying £30 for a new V5,
If the seller mentioned the car has a new battery or whatever, mention if he has a receipt for it - a recent car I purchased had a 'new battery', which was purchased two years ago. A two year old battery isn't new.

Ask the seller to not have the car warmed up when you get there, and tell the seller you want to run the car up to temperature. Any genuine person selling their car may be miffed but understanding. If they're not, sling the keys back in the car and tell them to fuck off.

 

I had more, but typically I've forgotten half of them.

[Rustybullethole]

Despite having a fair degree of mechanical knowledge and an ability to spot what ain't right I normally buy on a gut feeling without looking at stuff or asking any relevant questions. I guess I just enjoy the gamble and mystery of new old shit car ownership, or possibly am just a bit lazy. 

 

[Ghosty]

What's in the ashtray?

[Mrcento]

Registration plate- Is it a a new style reg?- Does it start with S?- Is the second letter anything in between P and W?,

If it is SA thought to O, proceed with huge caution.

If it is SP through to W, Particularly if it's older that 2011ish?, Do not proceed, turn and run. 

[Matty]

1 hour ago, Rustybullethole said:

Despite having a fair degree of mechanical knowledge and an ability to spot what ain't right I normally buy on a gut feeling without looking at stuff or asking any relevant questions. I guess I just enjoy the gamble and mystery of new old shit car ownership, or possibly am just a bit lazy. 

 

Same here. I do mechanicals for a living, been around cars since a kid and have family in the trade. Non the less I've bought more than a few cars sight unseen. I like the gamble and you'd only talk yourself out of it anyway. Owt can be mended if needs be.

[Homersimpson]

2 hours ago, Mrcento said:

Registration plate- Is it a a new style reg?- Does it start with S?- Is the second letter anything in between P and W?,

If it is SA thought to O, proceed with huge caution.

If it is SP through to W, Particularly if it's older that 2011ish?, Do not proceed, turn and run. 

I assume this because of rust? My 2007 Fiesta is an SA and I was welding the sills up (the first time) when it was 9 years old.  Done agajn a few years later when rust had spread, front wing rusted through and underside is in general in a similar state to the titanic rust wise.

[bunglebus]

Is there any oil on the dipstick or coolant in the reservoir?

Big red flag to me if it's being driven around with a lack of either

[Marina door handles]

When on the odd occasion I have looked at a car for other people, I will fastidiously check it over.

If how ever if it is for me then I do occasionally fall into a kind of person at an RSPCA re homing centre mode....

Oh you poor car what have they done to you? Do you need saving?!

Its no way to buy a daily driver.........

[Split_Pin]

I'd exclude cars in here as we're mostly mad and change them regularly 😂

If the car has been owned by the same person for over a year then that's a good start. As long as there's evidence of care and maintenance in their ownership then anything before that, or lack of, doesn't matter to me so much.

A well kept house is a must. It doesn't matter if its a big or small one, but if its well maintained and has a tidy garden then that says a lot about the person you are dealing with.

Make sure the car is at their own home if you are buying from a private individual. Certainly don't buy it from the street or a car park, I learned the hard way on that one. Very hard to tell this if the seller lives in a flat, Ive never been in that situation before.

Bring a lamp to look underneath the car.

[New POD]

The last red flag was going to look at an SLK in Oldbury.  Seller gives me the address of a block of newish flats. Says to phone him when I arrive. 

I park up phone him. Hes on his way home. Can I wait. 5 mins?

Texts me to say hes parked on the road outside. 

Its clear he doesn't live there.  He's got fucking trade plates hidden under the boot carpet. 

2 hours wasted. 

[barefoot]

Check to see whether the vendor is wearing moccasins. 

[JakeT]

Okay, my boring checklist that I usually make a note of when I go to see a car.

• Is the house and owner 'cared for'? Not in a Hyacinth Bucket kind of way, but if they look like they only smoke dope and eat ready meals, it might not be the car for me.
• Walk around the car slowly, all four corners in tact? Make note of tyres from afar. Are both mirrors the same colour
• Check each wheel, is the wheel shitty or damaged? Make note of brand of tyre, and condition of brakes
• Open bonnet, check for obvious leaks. Is coolant clean? Is brake fluid clean? Is oil on the dipstick?
• General check of interior, is it clean, not full of hair and is there excessive wear for the mileage?
• Have a gander at paperwork, check number of keys, logbook in name, and I'm at the right place
• Start engine. Does it idle well and smoothly? Any smoke? Let it run for a minute.
• Check for warning lights that are present, or not when they should self test.
• Check that interior features like AC, the radio and other things work
• Test drive, check it drives fine.

I will take a notepad with me, and note findings. As an example, I looked at a nice looking BMW 530i touring for my dad a couple of months ago. It was on for £5,000. The seller lived in an expensive area, spoke well, and  was selling as he was having a tax swizz EV, and had a nice home. The owner had also spent £3,000 on new fuel injectors in January. I thought we were a home run. My notes were:

 

• Engine mifire and revs fluctuating on cold start
• Coolant Low
• PAS fluid leak
• Aux belt tensioner failing
• A/C Hissing due to low on charge
• Oil Level at minimum
• Sunroof cassette rattling

I then present what I find to the seller. Not to be a prick, either because they haven't noticed it, and should be aware, or so I can give reason for what I would offer them.

 

Oh also no fucking cars from Bradford, Keighley, or Birmingham (soz to all that live there)

[Snipes]

3 minutes ago, JakeT said:

Okay, my boring checklist that I usually make a note of when I go to see a car.

• Is the house and owner 'cared for'? Not in a Hyacinth Bucket kind of way, but if they look like they only smoke dope and eat ready meals, it might not be the car for me.
• Walk around the car slowly, all four corners in tact? Make note of tyres from afar. Are both mirrors the same colour
• Check each wheel, is the wheel shitty or damaged? Make note of brand of tyre, and condition of brakes
• Open bonnet, check for obvious leaks. Is coolant clean? Is brake fluid clean? Is oil on the dipstick?
• General check of interior, is it clean, not full of hair and is there excessive wear for the mileage?
• Have a gander at paperwork, check number of keys, logbook in name, and I'm at the right place
• Start engine. Does it idle well and smoothly? Any smoke? Let it run for a minute.
• Check for warning lights that are present, or not when they should self test.
• Check that interior features like AC, the radio and other things work
• Test drive, check it drives fine.

I will take a notepad with me, and note findings. As an example, I looked at a nice looking BMW 530i touring for my dad a couple of months ago. It was on for £5,000. The seller lived in an expensive area, spoke well, and  was selling as he was having a tax swizz EV, and had a nice home. The owner had also spent £3,000 on new fuel injectors in January. I thought we were a home run. My notes were:

 

• Engine mifire and revs fluctuating on cold start
• Coolant Low
• PAS fluid leak
• Aux belt tensioner failing
• A/C Hissing due to low on charge
• Oil Level at minimum
• Sunroof cassette rattling

I then present what I find to the seller. Not to be a prick, either because they haven't noticed it, and should be aware, or so I can give reason for what I would offer them.

 

Oh also no fucking cars from Bradford, Keighley, or Birmingham (soz to all that live there)

Lol not sure how I'd react if I'm flogging a motor and someone shows up and presents a snag list. 

Ultimately all you can do is look for obvious issues, listen for untoward noises, and decide if you want the car enough to take a punt. If it's been bodged well/badly enough to survive a test drive there's nothing else you can really do. Just be prepared to walk if it gives you bad vibes.

I went to look at an Astra J Elite dizzle eastate. Looked great in the pictures. Drove for an hour, arrived to find it already running. Didn't even get out the car. Turned around blocked his number (Probably hiding a little timing chain rattle on start up).

[Rocket88]

Tyres…. Not so much how much life left, but what make are they.

What station is the radio tuned to? Radio 4 for preference…..

[Metal Guru]

National Trust sticker = fucked clutch.

Saga Insurance sticker = really fucked   clutch

 

[JakeT]

3 hours ago, Snipes said:

Lol not sure how I'd react if I'm flogging a motor and someone shows up and presents a snag list. 

Ultimately all you can do is look for obvious issues, listen for untoward noises, and decide if you want the car enough to take a punt. If it's been bodged well/badly enough to survive a test drive there's nothing else you can really do. Just be prepared to walk if it gives you bad vibes.

I went to look at an Astra J Elite dizzle eastate. Looked great in the pictures. Drove for an hour, arrived to find it already running. Didn't even get out the car. Turned around blocked his number (Probably hiding a little timing chain rattle on start up).

I don't disagree with you, but as a seller I'd rather someone that checks over the car fully and is satisfied to its condition than someone that comes and asks 'is the paint shiny and does the AC work?' Then want's to re-neg after the fact causing a big pain.

For cheap shitters usually I just drive it and check if it's rotten. If those are fine I buy it. 

[MorrisItalSLX]

Is there a tape deck fitted?

Does it work?

[Spiny Norman]

Two of my pet hates : 
Are the seats clean or are they covered in what looks like jizz stains? 
Do the headlamps have cataracts? 
Both require zero tech knowledge to check or fix but tell a lot about how the car has been looked after. 

[Schaefft]

Is it rare?

Yes - Buy

No - Is the money it needs less than the premium a decent shape one would command?

Yes - Buy

No - Find another

[Metal Guru]

If the answer to your questions is “dunno, M8, I don’t know nuffin about cars”, it really means “it’s completely fucked, I was hoping it was you who knew nothing”.

[Shortos]

16 hours ago, Rustybullethole said:

Despite having a fair degree of mechanical knowledge and an ability to spot what ain't right I normally buy on a gut feeling without looking at stuff or asking any relevant questions. I guess I just enjoy the gamble and mystery of new old shit car ownership, or possibly am just a bit lazy. 

 

I’m the same.. I get excited too and just want to drive it home.. on a couple of cars I’ve even forgotten to look under the bonnet 😂
Though almost all the cars I buy are from guys off here and I’ve yet to be sold a wrong un. 

[IronStar]

1 hour ago, Schaefft said:

Is it rare?

Yes - Buy

No - Is the money it needs less than the premium a decent shape one would command?

Yes - Buy

No - Find another

This sounds like my checklist, except it usually ends with buy anyway 🤣

[Mrcento]

16 hours ago, Homersimpson said:

I assume this because of rust? My 2007 Fiesta is an SA and I was welding the sills up (the first time) when it was 9 years old.  Done agajn a few years later when rust had spread, front wing rusted through and underside is in general in a similar state to the titanic rust wise.

Yup, Basically anything up here will have seen harsher conditions with salt on the road or blasted with salty sea air (or both) for a large portion of its life. 

Only part of the UK where cars deemed solid down south will be findable with cheap 'commercial' paint jobs, i.e bottom half black like a Mk6 transit that's been welded up for the 7th time in 5 years.

[Rust Collector]

1 hour ago, Mrcento said:

Yup, Basically anything up here will have seen harsher conditions with salt on the road or blasted with salty sea air (or both) for a large portion of its life. 

I’m down in Sussex and most of the older cars here are completely rotten for exactly the same reasons. The roads are salted every winter, but because it doesn’t really get that cold here what you end up with is the constant rain making salt slush for about half the year, with the bonus of sea air all year round.

I’ve just come to accept that pretty much anything in the age/price brackets that I shop in will need constant welding. I still hate it though 🤣

[Rust Collector]

My winning* formula for not getting surprised by an absolute lemon, is to always knowingly buy a completely fucked example of whatever it is I’m looking for.

I can’t remember the last time I bought something that wasn’t broken!

[Metal Guru]

Re salt and rust, I don’t think the north is any worse than the south.  They salt the roads all over.,Rust protection on cars is much better than it was though, my Subaru ( apparently one of the worst marques for rust), is about as rusty after 21 years in Scotland as my 1984 Ford Orion was after 5 years in Kent.

[UltraWomble]

On 02/08/2025 at 08:09, JakeT said:

Oh also no fucking cars from Bradford, Keighley, or Birmingham (soz to all that live there)

Add Blackburn & Blackpool to that list

[DavidB]

I had this on the description of the last car I bought:

"During  its time with me i have spent an absolute  fortune . With proof recips of all the work. Il list the work i can remember done im shore there alot more "

Going through the receipts, nothing was done recently, a fortune was spent but that was at fifteen years ago, when one of the previous owners gave a shit about maintenance, and windows not working was down to the wiring loom in the door being cut for some reason, dunno how temperamental something can be if it's impossible to ever be working.

"Some ting i forgot to mention   the windows are tempermental  some times thay work stright away And at times  just randomly  start working"

 

[DavidB]

I forgot to add this - only supplies the postcode when travelling to pick up a car.

Do you know that scene in Dirty Harry where he has to drop the money off in a location and everytime he gets to a public phone box, he sends him to another one.

When you get to the first supplied postcode (no house number of course), he sends another another postcode. When he fills out the log book, a completely different address and postcode. Not only that, the invoice has another address on it!
Also of course he writes like a f**king bell end.