Things that put me right off

[straightSix]

X is broken but "never bothered me". Hardly a sign of being looked after is it 

"Priced to sell"

"Just needs a sensor"

[stuboy]

5 hours ago, KWhite said:

'First to see will buy'

this makes no sense.......... unless it mint, best price,  and gun too there head

[stuboy]

years mot on purchase.............

[egg]

'rare opportunity'

'drives nice'

'straight down the sides' - tbh, only Mike Brewer ever says that.

[hairnet]

5 hours ago, SiC said:

PULLS LIKE A TRAIN

= been pulling an overloaded 4 wheel caravan for how ever old the car is

 

[lesapandre]

Parked on double yellow lines in the ad.

Parked at a mobile home park in the ad.

Posh gibberish - 'just needs recommisioning' etc

Anything with 'open to offers' but no basic price.

And the posh POA nonsense (price on application) peddled by some dealers.

Personal plate not included - then take it off beforehand then we don't need to faff about.

Anyone accepting watches, gold, Krugerands, sovereigns, Bitcoin in payment.

Ads beginning 'here we have' and anyone who calls a car an 'old girl'.

[stripped fred]

7 minutes ago, lesapandre said:

Parked on double yellow lines in the ad.

Parked at a mobile home park in the ad.

Posh gibberish - 'just needs recommisioning' etc

Anything with 'open to offers' but no basic price.

And the posh POA nonsense (price on application) peddled by some dealers.

Personal plate not included - then take it off beforehand then we don't need to faff about.

Anyone accepting watches, gold, Krugerands, sovereigns, Bitcoin in payment.

Or parked in an industrial unit or other commercial premises.

[lesapandre]

3 minutes ago, stripped fred said:

Or parked in an industrial unit or other commercial premises.

That can cut both ways. Some can be quite respectable or eccentric and fine. Often worth checking on Google Earth beforehand.

[backache]

No knocks or bangs. Whats that all about.

[D.E]

Robin Reliant.

[Split_Pin]

Ive said this before but 'MOT until next year' on adverts placed around Christmas time is an absolute classic.

 

 

[alcyonecorporation]

'I need to keep the battery, bro'

[Metal Guru]

9 hours ago, colino said:

The reason good car salesmen ask good questions is that they often have to be the grown up in the conversation.  Just because you've got your Christmas bonus doesn't mean that 911 is going to be any good to you when you know 99% of your time is spent ferrying around your four, chunky kids on dad duty.

Back to topic.  Cars pictured in clearly not the sellers residential street.

Rubbish. They don’t care what you buy , the more expensive , the bigger their commission. 
They want you to think they’re your mate, they’re on your side. (Classic BS, “tell you want I’ll do…my manager won’t like it though.., throws in generic car mats with their logo on, worth £20 tops). 

My wife falls for it every time.  I want to scream “No! He’s not your new BFF, he just wants to extract as much money from us as possible”.

[Cavcraft]

'The wife doesn't like it'

A.I generated ads

One key with what looks like an auction key fob and no house keys etc in the ignition

No price, just offers and 'I know what I have'

 

 

 

 

[Rocket88]

44 minutes ago, Cavcraft said:

 

No price, just offers and 'I know what I have'

 

 

 

 

Usually delusions of grandeur…

[goosey]

FSH

that turns out to be a recent MOT emissions report and receipt from ECP for wiper blades and ONE drop link 

[goosey]

“My mate, who’s a Mechanic, does all my repairs”

[Westbay]

"... just make me an offer ..."

 

and when you do , they get all upset!  😇

[SRi05]

"in the best colour"

Well that's entirely subjective

[Split_Pin]

Marketplace. Anyone with a profile name which is clearly designed to try and circumvent the filter because they do not wish to be easily found be certain people.

For example: John Smith would be something like Jjohnn Smithh  or Nhoj Htims. I've also found that anyone who I personally know to be dodgy has about  50% of replies to anything they post on Facebook from other people with these types of user names.

Avoid.

[Metal Guru]

7 minutes ago, SRi05 said:

"in the best colour"

Well that's entirely subjective

Depends what car. Ferrari - red Subaru - blue Aston Martin - Silver Lamborghini - yellow. AC Cobra - blue with white stripe. fast Fords look good in loud colours like the RS Focus in Nitrous Blue.
Things like Rolls, Range Rovers , most big things, look shite in loud bright  colours though.
Most other cars, I’d agree with you though, it’s a matter of taste (or lack of).

[quicksilver]

"First to see will buy" sounds quite threatening to me. "Nobody else has seen it yet so you will buy it OR ELSE!"

Another classic that was often found in the banger pages of Auto Trader: "needs tidying for MOT". Er, no, there's no requirement for it to be tidy to pass an MOT so why don't you tell us what's wrong with it?

[Metal Guru]

Have we had “clean car”? 

[Shite Ron]

34 minutes ago, SRi05 said:

"in the best colour"

Well that's entirely subjective

I used to buy cars at auction in the eighties and nineties, the auctioneer always said this when a red car entered the ring. I never liked red cars 🙄

[Tenmil Socket]

‘Bought it last week but just found out the Mrs is pregnant so need a more suitable car. Still waiting for the log book’.

🚩

[sierraman]

9 hours ago, Metal Guru said:

Rubbish. They don’t care what you buy , the more expensive , the bigger their commission. 
They want you to think they’re your mate, they’re on your side. (Classic BS, “tell you want I’ll do…my manager won’t like it though.., throws in generic car mats with their logo on, worth £20 tops). 

My wife falls for it every time.  I want to scream “No! He’s not your new BFF, he just wants to extract as much money from us as possible”.

My dad used to fall for this, he’d go to the Vauxhall place and some wanker in a Matalan suit would be trying to talk him into buying something. It’s one of those few occasions that I’m glad it’s becoming an obsolete job, the trust has gone completely and fortunately people can go in, have the test drive then order it online I would hope. 

[sierraman]

49 minutes ago, Tenmil Socket said:

‘Bought it last week but just found out the Mrs is pregnant so need a more suitable car. Still waiting for the log book’.

🚩

This… the wife doesn’t like it. Ok, so I’m assuming they just arrived home with it one day and surprised her with it? Or is it they’ve bought it discovered it’s a total bag of shite and it’s convenient excuse.

[sierraman]

1 hour ago, Split_Pin said:

Marketplace. Anyone with a profile name which is clearly designed to try and circumvent the filter because they do not wish to be easily found be certain people.

For example: John Smith would be something like Jjohnn Smithh  or Nhoj Htims. I've also found that anyone who I personally know to be dodgy has about  50% of replies to anything they post on Facebook from other people with these types of user names.

Avoid.

Yeah that’s well dodge. Invariably there’s a 08 Vauxhall Vivaro in white with ‘Lest We Forget’ in background. 

[sierraman]

1 hour ago, goosey said:

“My mate, who’s a Mechanic, does all my repairs”

Except he’s not a mechanic is he. It’s a bloke out the pub claiming benefits and doing homers outside in the communal car park of his flat. As much a mechanic as I am a plasterer. 

[Macscrooge]

“Great car for holidays” = it’s too big and I can’t afford to run it. Usually posted in September.