DIY, destroy it yourself?

[Cavcraft]

Anyone else flipped their lid with a car and destroyed it on purpose?

No pictures I'm afraid but circa 1981 I had a Marina. It was a hateful, horrible complete piece of junk which nearly sent me over the edge.

After replacing the engine the 'new' one lasted about 5 yards before running like a bag of nails and knocking/smoking.

 

Several cans of cheap lager later I called a mate up (11.00 at night), got an axe from the garage and smashed every last bit that I could up as he played heavy metal tapes full tilt from his Marina van with a roof beacon flashing.

I wish I'd photographed it as we absolutely destroyed the hateful thing and it gave me great pleasure in doing so, something I never regretted.

The other plus was that in ripping/smashing the dashboard out I found a fag that I'd lost behind it months before.

 

Anyone else destroyed a motor that p*ssed you off?

[Claypole]

I'm currently trying to hack the exhaust manifold off my BMW after breaking a tap off in a stuck stud I'd drilled a hole in...

 

But i did chop up an Opel Manta with a hammer and chisel after finding out it was a death trap from rot and shite repairs. I was too tight to buy anymore cutting discs so did it the hard way.

[dollywobbler]

I once killed a grease gun, and snapped the indicator stalk off in my LDV recovery truck (replaced it with a new one modified so it didn't fappin' self cancel all the time!) but haven't killed an entire car. To me, it'd be a bit like kicking a puppy, even if the little sod crapped on my carpet. Just couldn't do it.

[whitevanman]

Snapped more bit on cars than hot dinners....however I have destroyed a Scimitar, Subaru L series, 2 x Cortinas because they pissed me off too much..OH and a Sierra estate

[Station]

Done this EVERY time I've worked on a car, the smallest thing usually pushes me over the edge.

Dead batteries on a cold winter morning usually does this.

I smashed the centre console up on an Astra (the bit with the heater dials on) when the engine turned and then started doing the whirrrr ....... whirrrrr .......... whirrrrrrrr ...... NOTHING. I just lost it and smashed it up - recognising, I could later replace the plastics. On the same car, I was heading up to an interview in Warrington, and a number of fuses kept blowing. I'd put a new set in and pop pop pop, all going. The nature of the journey meant I had to get there. I don't know how I fixed it, but I did rip off half of the dashboard trying to get to it:

 

 

My neighbours have complained about my language when working on cars, I have chilled out a lot though, it doesn't amount to anything but MORE work if you lose it.

 

The lad I bought the MR2 off actually punched, and smashed, the windscreen in a mechanical failure induced rage!

[HillmanImp]

Had a Mk4 Cortina for prod stock racing when I was 17. We were stripping the car down to recoup some of the money we had spent on it. First things first we decided to remove the rear window........by prising it our with a screwdriver Inevitably it shattered so we then took to the whole car with hammers/baseball bats whatever was handly and looked like it could inflict damage. Great fun. God almighty mess but it was at my mates house so did not care.

 

It was at the peak of summer in about 1993. When we got the petrol tank out we put it on the lawn and chucked a match in it. The fumes exploded and sent a 15ft jet of flame out, setting fire to the parched lawn. Took ages to put out and left a huge black mark like a rocket had landed there.

[Rod/b]

A chap I used to work with was retired Metropolitan Old Bill. He told me once that when they had Austin Allegro panda cars way-back-when, they were so hated that coppers were known to occasionally stick a handful of sand or mud in the oil filler when they were "checking the levels", and then proceed to drive round everywhere without changing out of first in an attempt to kill them.

[Conrad D. Conelrad]

The lad I bought the MR2 off actually punched, and smashed, the windscreen in a mechanical failure induced rage!

I remember seeing a 2CV on eBay years ago with a seriously dented door, which the seller admitted to having kicked in a fit of rage.

[Guest]

I only got as far as kicking in the wings and doorskins on a mk3 Cortina that wouldnt start in 1991.

Sold it to some pikeys up the road who got it going and handpainted it.

[Volksy]

Have beat up a Peugeot 205, and done a 'Basil Faulty' in rush hour traffic on a POS VW Camper van, that blew it's third engine in as many months...

[AnthonyG]

Kicked the bumper and rear light of a Montego, cracked the rear light.

 

'No problem plenty of Montegos in the breakers' I think.

 

Of course all the crashed Montegos in the local yard had earlier types of light , mine was a facelift one

[Spiny Norman]

I've completely lost it with two cars.

 

Both times it was a case of a brick on the accelerator with the oil filter removed and a couple of hoses undone to wreck the engine, kill the gearbox and driveshafts with a few pops of the clutch at 8000rpm before getting medieval on its ass with a hammer.

 

Not clever, but oh so satisfying.

[Lord Sterling]

haven't killed an entire car. To me, it'd be a bit like kicking a puppy, even if the little sod crapped on my carpet. Just couldn't do it.

Agreed, same here, I havent really got the heart to destroy a whole car. My mate has done it to a Rover 827 he was breaking, once broken he kicked and smashed the rest, I didnt join in because I didnt have the heart.

 

I have been known to smash mobile phones up and kick and punch computers.

 

I remember getting angry once in my mums car once, cant remember why but it was car related and I kicked the hell out of the dashboard to no effect whatsoever.

[Guest]

haven't killed an entire car. To me, it'd be a bit like kicking a puppy, even if the little sod crapped on my carpet. Just couldn't do it.

Agreed, same here, I havent really got the heart to destroy a whole car. My mate has done it to a Rover 827 he was breaking, once broken he kicked and smashed the rest, I didnt join in because I didnt have the heart.

 

I have been known to smash mobile phones up and kick and punch computers.

 

I remember getting angry once in my mums car once, cant remember why but it was car related and I kicked the hell out of the dashboard to no effect whatsoever.

Never destroyed an entire car myself. I've snapped the indicator stalk off my C4 in a blind bout of road rage and smacked it a couple of beauts on the motorway before, but nothing more serious than that.

 

The glovebox lid managed to snap itself shut (you should have seen the look on my passenger's face when I told him to shut the lid 'slowly'), and just to round things off in the handle came off in my hand when I tried to unjam it (without putting any muscle into it). Citroen wanted £78 for a new lid and mysteriously both Sale and Upper Brook Street had 30 in stock each. Problem much? Solved by getting one from a scrapper for £20.

 

The dashboard flap stuck shut and trapped my mobile inside. Citroen couldn't supply ; got one from a scrapper for a tenner. Which was then lost by Royal Mail, and then found again when I called the systems handler a cunt down the telephone.

 

The key, front brake discs, rear brake discs, bottom ball joints, track rod ends and rear wheel bearings have managed to destroy themselves all ontheir own mind you, and that's not forgetting the NS rear undertray which has decided to fall off this morning.

 

J-J's tales of a 'fault free C4' seem like a parallel universe to me. For the faults mine's had (and what I've had to pay out because of CUK's stubborn unwillingness to help) I could have insured and run a Focus ST for a year.

 

Perhaps mine is a bad 'un. I certainly got a shit batch of discs and hubs when mine was going together.

 

I lobbed my Nokia 6210 at the wall when it kept cutting out, and I crushed my first W850i when I was incandescent with rage at one of my studio clients. My old Dell had a size 8 bootprint in its side casing when it mangled a very important mix one evening. It's surprising what 15 stones'* worth of swing can do when directed at one spot.

 

I crushed the PSU and SCTSH_ANDY rebuilt it one night after a lot of swearing.

 

*optimistic estimate, me fat cunt.

[Station]

Think your C3 is actually willingly destroying itself! It can't take the cacophony of rancid farts maybe!

[danthecapriman]

Ive been close to smashing a few cars, both mine and other peoples but always just about managed to stop myself. With one exception.

 

Car was a H reg Ford Orion 1.4glx, it was a total shed, it had a bad habbit of cutting out and not restarting at random times. Usually the worst times, at roundabouts, traffic lights and the like. The first time it got a beating was when it cut out at a red light in town centre, I was the first car in the que and it died as the light went green. I jumped out and kicked the front wing in.

The second time was having driven it all day without it cutting out or causing any fuss I arrived home, as I pulled onto the drive it cut out and wouldnt restart! I lost it, swore lots and punched the steering wheel as hard as I could, bending it slightly and hurting my hand!

The final time it pissed me off (same problem!) I got it going again, reversed it through a hedge and into a lamp post in the work car park! That tought it a valuabal lesson about screwing with the wrong guy! No damage to the lamp post, but the boot and bumper were nicely bent!

 

I scrapped it not long after!

[Pillock]

When I was about 13, my mate's brother had his dad's old Mk3 Escort GL. Inevitably he went out, found a XR3i in the scrapyard and bought it back to purloin the engine and fancy seats. At this point my mate and I took a hammer and a paving slab (hey, it was available and heavy) and smashed/dented/broke/destroyed every bit of it we could. It ended up looking like the Rover 213 in Father Ted.

 

More recently, I destroyed my ex-wife's beloved Mondeo. Seriously, she loved that car - it had a name and everything. Utterly besotted.

I took the lazy approach to destruction though and a nice man with a beavertail gave me £102 for it.

 

HA!

[Guest]

There was a lad at work who had a Bini that was so troublesome he rang up the finance company one day and told them that if they didn't take it off his hands that day, that he'd destroy it (as it 'amounted to the same thing').

 

Twenty minutes later it was on its roof after he'd floored it off the Lymm roundabout and dropped two wheels down a ditch. Apparently when the police arrived he'd clambered out and begun pissing on it.

 

He later got done for holding up a bookies in the North Manchester. What a nice young man he was.

[Lord Sterling]

Hmmm, with all this talk of destroying motors......

 

I remember seeing a video on one of the Poice Stop/Camera Action/Wars type programmes of a bloke kicking the shit out of a White Manta one evening. He didnt appear to do much, if any, but continued taking his rage out on it. Must have some time in the early 90s.

 

Anyone here?

[Guest]

 

More recently, I destroyed my ex-wife's beloved Mondeo. Seriously, she loved that car - it had a name and everything. Utterly besotted.

I took the lazy approach to destruction though and a nice man with a beavertail gave me £102 for it.

 

HA!

Was this out of spousal revenge? I can imagine that it was parked on your drive and she wouldn't move it? Something like that?

 

On a slightly similar note I dumped a fucktonne of sugar into my ex's Cinquecento after I found out she was shagging another bloke.

[Pillock]

 

Was this out of spousal revenge? I can imagine that it was parked on your drive and she wouldn't move it? Something like that?

 

On a slightly similar note I dumped a fucktonne of sugar into my ex's Cinquecento after I found out she was shagging another bloke.

No, at the time I wasn't aware that she was shagging my best mate. So it wasn't out of revenge, it was because it needed a clutch and was worth chuff all. She still didn't talk to me for over a week, and cried when it bounced off up the road.

 

She kept (my) Vectra when I finally sussed her game and we split. I didn't get chance to destroy it, I did however 'lose' all the documents for it, the locking wheel nut, and faked a cambelt change meaning by now it'll probably be 40k overdue.

[Rusty Pelican]

Mullered three motors , thrashed the shit out of a Marina coz it was crap , selecting reverse whilst traveling forward at 20 mph does tend to fuck the box up somewhat , four months after i got it it was dead.

R reg Imp my ex finance ( deliberate spelling) owned , i built it for her and gave her the car free only for her to start screwing my best mate , she later sold it then i bought it off him , just cut it up with a grinder , nout wrong with it either , just angry thats all

D plated Uno , what a watersoluble crock of shit this was , stalled every ten yards , cut out , lights never worked and leaked every where from everywhere , in a final act of pure anger having conked out on the way home from Longleat I did a Basil Faulty on it , no little branch for me though , Used a fuck of fence post sized log in full view of passing traffic , felt much better . I did give this thing so much shit , picked up 6 four ft fence panels and tied them to the roof minus rack , took a huge metal lathe up the tip in that took three of us to lift , kicked a huge dent in the FOS wing when it conked out yet again and drove four miles on a flat front tyre coz i couldnt be assed to dig out the spare

[RedSparrow]

Me and a mate, aged about 10, trashed an MOT failure MK1 Cavalier. Wasn't in bad shape as I recall.

Oh the regret!

[MK5 Escort]

Personally, I've never knowingly damaged any of my cars when I've lost my temper. It's usually though lack of performance when I end up driving in a lower gear for the next few miles or revving it much harder when progressing to 'teach it a lesson'. Also, if it's taken two attempts to start, I'll admit on the odd occasion I've given it a hard rev once it's started for a second time.

 

The glovebox lid managed to snap itself shut (you should have seen the look on my passenger's face when I told him to shut the lid 'slowly'), and just to round things off in the handle came off in my hand when I tried to unjam it (without putting any muscle into it). Citroen wanted £78 for a new lid and mysteriously both Sale and Upper Brook Street had 30 in stock each. Problem much? Solved by getting one from a scrapper for £20.

My father's old mk3 Golf went though three glovebox handles in the year or so he had it. The first snapped off in his hand the day after he bought it. The one that replaced it (scrapyard £15 special as typically, VW wanted mega-bucks and two weeks to get one in) decided it's mechanism would break whilst the lid closed so the handle simply flapped up and down without doing anything. The last one (another scrapyard special), done the opposite. It broke when it was opened and therefore wouldn't close. He banged the lid hard with his first and dented it slightly. In the end he used two strips of gaffa tape to hold it shut and replaced the handle yet again about a week before he got rid of it to get the sale.

 

In the same car, he also managed to bend one of the door hinges by slamming his door in a fit of rage when he opened the door to get something out and the heavy door (it was a 3dr) come straight back on him when his back was turned and smacked hard into his ankles...The door creaked and cracked every time it was opened/closed from then on and needed to be 'lifted' by putting your hand under the handle to shut it properly as it then dropped slighly when it was opened. He bore the marks on his ankles for several years!

 

On another occasion when something else went wrong (many things did with that Golf), he put his boot to the front bumper and split the numberplate in half.

 

That's the only car that he's ever owned where he's ever lost his temper with - and he's generally a very placid person who treats his cars like family members. That car and him just didn't like one another!

[Station]

Went to a mate's house and for some reason, the keys to my car ended up in my mate's bag, who then went home. I was left without a key to drive home. In a fit of key-less induced rage, in front of everyone, I went to boot the car (which was embarrassing in itself), but slipped on the grass halfway through 'bootage', and went straight on my arse. Nobody made a noise, I just got up, wiped the big wet, muddy stain off my legs/arse, did a fake laugh and went to get a taxi.

[Charlie Croker]

I had a mk1 escort van in 1986 that was the worst pile of shit i have ever had the missfotune to own. It had a 2litre pinto fitted while having the original box. Went like shit off a stick from the lights but my party piece was to get the back end out round the roundabouts. Anyway the problem with drifting was the amount of rear springs i broke. So when yet another went you could say i was proper pissed off like. My passenger must have sensed my despair and bet me £20 i wouldnt beat the bastard to death. So into the back of it i went and got the lump hammer kindly left by the last owner and set to work. 10 mins later and it was dead and i felt and still feel no shame. By the way i only paid 50 quid for it so with the 20 bet and 30 scrap nothing lost.

[Guest]

No, never.

[Pete-M]

I've never understood the whole concept of punching / kicking / ruining a car simply because it isn't working. Cars don't feel pain. You damage a car and it ain't going to heal. They don't cower, frightened. They just get more broken.

 

To me, trying to get revenge on a car is the act of a retard.

[FredTransit]

I once killed a grease gun, and snapped the indicator stalk off in my LDV recovery truck (replaced it with a new one modified so it didn't fappin' self cancel all the time!) but haven't killed an entire car. To me, it'd be a bit like kicking a puppy, even if the little sod crapped on my carpet. Just couldn't do it.

I agree. Cars are people too.....

[Station]

I've never understood the whole concept of punching / kicking / ruining a car simply because it isn't working. Cars don't feel pain. You damage a car and it ain't going to heal. They don't cower, frightened. They just get more broken.

 

To me, trying to get revenge on a car is the act of a retard.

Never ruined a car, but it makes you feel a lot better.