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Best phrases in car adverts

RoverFolkUs

By RoverFolkUs
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MisterH Rank: BL Wedge

MisterH

Posted
Posted

https://www.carandclassic.com/car/C1437400

This is a good one

First off only limited pictures, don't even know what interior looks like

Quote

.All orginalcar has been in dry storage for 18 years 

So its been used as an Orgy venue for the past 18 years? not driving? So you're selling a recommissioning job? 

oh wait

Quote

 MOT to October 2022

guess that's alright then 

Quote

 owners handbook service record book from new invoices etc

illustrated confirmation might be helpful to back that up...

Quote

Must be an investment

Why sounding so doubtful?

Quote

£7700

Oh I see, won't get much return on that...

  • RoverFolkUs
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RoverFolkUs Rank: Talbot Matra Rancho

RoverFolkUs

Posted
  • Author
Posted
1 hour ago, MisterH said:

https://www.carandclassic.com/car/C1437400

This is a good one

First off only limited pictures, don't even know what interior looks like

So its been used as an Orgy venue for the past 18 years? not driving? So you're selling a recommissioning job? 

oh wait

guess that's alright then 

illustrated confirmation might be helpful to back that up...

Why sounding so doubtful?

Oh I see, won't get much return on that...

£7700 sounds reasonable when it includes JDM tax and pop-up-headlight tax! ;)

 

MisterH Rank: BL Wedge

MisterH

Posted
Posted
3 minutes ago, RoverFolkUs said:

£7700 sounds reasonable when it includes JDM tax and pop-up-headlight tax! ;)

 

For other cars yes, but these celicas are unloved, probably because FWD

  • RoverFolkUs
  • Like 1
sierraman Rank: Matra Rancho towing a Tagora

sierraman

Posted
Posted
7 hours ago, RoverFolkUs said:

"perfect for riding just need to change my hinge and change"

1171253009_Screenshot_20220408-2334372.thumb.png.ba2417fc1f5310a228b4fd1b41d6f9cc.png

1821369129_Screenshot_20220408-2335022.thumb.png.1af3281514eca8cce7a8e3408f46a2aa.png

What????

3/10 for effort with the advert.

RoverFolkUs Rank: Talbot Matra Rancho

RoverFolkUs

Posted
  • Author
Posted
3 hours ago, sierraman said:

What????

3/10 for effort with the advert.

Bonus imbecile points for managing to smash an Android head unit and the weird shadow in the 5th picture making it look like it's had some whacky paint job. 

But that's ok, "because Ford" as per the windscreen sticker 🤔

sierraman Rank: Matra Rancho towing a Tagora

sierraman

Posted
Posted
Just now, RoverFolkUs said:

Bonus imbecile points for managing to smash an Android head unit and the weird shadow in the 5th picture making it look like it's had some whacky paint job. 

But that's ok, "because Ford" as per the windscreen sticker 🤔

Anyone caught with a ‘Because...’ on the swept area of the screen would be sentenced to 15 years hard labour under my rule.

Eyersey1234 Rank: Renault 16

Eyersey1234

Posted
Posted
8 hours ago, sierraman said:

Anyone caught with a ‘Because...’ on the swept area of the screen would be sentenced to 15 years hard labour under my rule.

Only 15 years? 

  • RoverFolkUs and cobblers
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  • 1 month later...
RoverFolkUs Rank: Talbot Matra Rancho

RoverFolkUs

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Erm....

1736396006_Screenshot_20220604-2052142.thumb.png.8f77a06e652af9a3775f183e27e01fa6.png

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644108414_Screenshot_20220604-2052403.thumb.png.8291ad1a577b47afbd322ed4beb86cd8.png

I'm sure this seller would be an absolute delight to deal with.... 

1579423827_Screenshot_20220604-2052402.thumb.png.920a3dd36ee0110aa2f2f420169bf40f.png

No hostility?! Ha! Maybe he should have a go at that!

So he's asking £525 for something that's scrap at the moment... Fair enough, he can ask what he likes. But why so angry for no reason!? And you'd rather scrap it for, say £300, than sell it for an offer somewhere between £300 and £525, he seems to think it's worth a lot more as scrap than it really will be... 

To be fair, the fail list doesn't look horrific at all. But I wouldn't have much confidence in trying to buy the car from him without getting verbally abused for no reason!

 

  • 4 weeks later...
RoverFolkUs Rank: Talbot Matra Rancho

RoverFolkUs

Posted
  • Author
Posted

879769729_Screenshot_20220703-2145422.thumb.png.72d676192142aab2975397d8e599fa6c.png

"Has new beaks" 

1223221562_Screenshot_20220703-2146033.thumb.png.53b00f7c4851afc5db29ebbc0723c4e1.png

Wonderful! I've been needing a car with a beak for a while now! 

Split_Pin Rank: Matra Rancho towing a Tagora

Split_Pin

Posted
Posted
On 6/3/2022 at 5:26 PM, RoverFolkUs said:

989483633_Screenshot_20220603-1723242.thumb.png.a12aeba810342ee76aa7c063e3ad4f7d.png

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Comedy adverts are a bit passe now that Gumtree and Marketplace have been about for a good long while but this one would definitely not put me off if I was looking for a car like that.

In terms of other adverts, why do folk say 'no knocks or bangs'. The first I'd be listening for of course but nothing goes 'bang' on a car more than once in its lifetime.

  • RoverFolkUs
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  • 1 month later...
RoverFolkUs Rank: Talbot Matra Rancho

RoverFolkUs

Posted
  • Author
Posted

"The car is on the move! The car is running good. The car is driving non stop!!"

"The car is in motion! The car runs fine. The car is driven non-stop."

938841197_Screenshot_20220831-2242192.thumb.png.e9ee7c57faa36c98db277bec7a07207f.png

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Soundwave Rank: Citroen Ami

Soundwave

Posted
Posted
48 minutes ago, RoverFolkUs said:

"The car is on the move! The car is running good. The car is driving non stop!!"

"The car is in motion! The car runs fine. The car is driven non-stop."

938841197_Screenshot_20220831-2242192.thumb.png.e9ee7c57faa36c98db277bec7a07207f.png

1411182615_Screenshot_20220831-2242382.thumb.png.65735d182b77360519070d3dd57326df.png


Looks pretty stationary in the photo, so clearly not being driven non-stop!

RoverFolkUs Rank: Talbot Matra Rancho

RoverFolkUs

Posted
  • Author
Posted
3 minutes ago, Soundwave said:


Looks pretty stationary in the photo, so clearly not being driven non-stop!

Doesn't look like it's on the move or in motion either 🤣

Matty Rank: Lancia Gamma

Matty

Posted
Posted
On 3/25/2022 at 8:20 PM, MisterH said:

This is a good* one:

https://www.carandclassic.com/car/C1437184

Thanks for highlighting that, could have been caught out there...

And even less apparent when you won't even bother to find out what they are...

In that case why am I not in high demand?

...what?

If it had a blue oval stuck to the front then yes

 

 

Shame, as when I first saw it I thought maybe he wasn't that bad...

Been up to him myself. Didn't buy the one I went for (too expensive for what it needed) and the other one he had had sold. What put me off him was he was really not friendly. Sounds soft, but if you deal in classic cars then surely you don't mind a gas. Shame he was a miserable twat really, he gets some really interesting stock in.

Missy Charm Rank: BL Wedge

Missy Charm

Posted
Posted
6 hours ago, Matty said:

Been up to him myself. Didn't buy the one I went for (too expensive for what it needed) and the other one he had had sold. What put me off him was he was really not friendly. Sounds soft, but if you deal in classic cars then surely you don't mind a gas. Shame he was a miserable twat really, he gets some really interesting stock in.

I certainly got the impression, reading some of his ads, that in order to transact with Mr Howie, one needs to be of the right sort.  Should I, for instance, turn up with a briefcase full of used twenties and ask to buy the Landcrab, I probably wouldn't get too far...

Matty Rank: Lancia Gamma

Matty

Posted
Posted
Just now, Missy Charm said:

I certainly got the impression, reading some of his ads, that in order to transact with Mr Howie, one needs to be of the right sort.  Should I, for instance, turn up with a briefcase full of used twenties and ask to buy the Landcrab, I probably wouldn't get too far...

Fair point. But what is the right sort? He was asking the price of a goer for a car that needed floors. I bought one a few weeks later for £1500 less. I wasn't rude or owt, just politely said it wasn't for me. 

RoverFolkUs Rank: Talbot Matra Rancho

RoverFolkUs

Posted
  • Author
Posted
15 hours ago, sierraman said:

Is it actually free? 

Doubt it, I usually disregard anything that says free.. but I suppose it doesn't say either way 🤔

RoverFolkUs Rank: Talbot Matra Rancho

RoverFolkUs

Posted
  • Author
Posted

1088807678_Screenshot_20220904-1943152.thumb.png.d57f28d46fdbdd928678c68038b5a141.png

1201033603_Screenshot_20220904-1943222.thumb.png.d25e91d0cb537a8a16dc850a47ec8676.png

"Battery replaced last year so runs very smoothly" 

That's a new one on me...!

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twosmoke300 Rank: Matra Rancho towing a Tagora

twosmoke300

Posted
Posted

I’m willing to bet if you dipped the oil on that - none would be showing on the dipstick 

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Rust Collector Rank: Renault 16

Rust Collector

Posted
Posted
13 hours ago, RoverFolkUs said:

1088807678_Screenshot_20220904-1943152.thumb.png.d57f28d46fdbdd928678c68038b5a141.png

1201033603_Screenshot_20220904-1943222.thumb.png.d25e91d0cb537a8a16dc850a47ec8676.png

"Battery replaced last year so runs very smoothly" 

That's a new one on me...!

The battery runs smoothly, everything else is fucked 😅

straightSix Rank: Citroen Ami

straightSix

Posted
Posted
13 hours ago, RoverFolkUs said:

1088807678_Screenshot_20220904-1943152.thumb.png.d57f28d46fdbdd928678c68038b5a141.png

1201033603_Screenshot_20220904-1943222.thumb.png.d25e91d0cb537a8a16dc850a47ec8676.png

"Battery replaced last year so runs very smoothly" 

That's a new one on me...!

"Historically had some issues" Can't see them ever coming back... Feels like a get out of jail free card to me 

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  • 4 months later...
RoverFolkUs Rank: Talbot Matra Rancho

RoverFolkUs

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Forgot I made this thread!

Again, not a car but what is it with kitchen appliances? After the other "Keckle" on the first page, here we have a....

"Roster and Katel" 

IMG_20230118_222248.thumb.jpg.3fb1ef5e63a4cb3a69d582edcb46527f.jpg

😅

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Rustybullethole Rank: Renault 16

Rustybullethole

Posted
Posted

Will pass next mot easy only selling as got…..

Van I was checking out. Mailed the seller for the covered up plate. Yeah yeah all faults fixed ain’t done the welding though sure it will pass. 
 

Keep it m9

Mrcento Rank: Citroen Ami

Mrcento

Posted
Posted

'Has short MOT but if this doesn't sell for what i'm asking, i'll get another MOT on it then will be up for far more money'

Yeah i bet M8, your willingness to let if go cheap now and turn your back on all that certain extra money by getting a years ticket on it is pure kindness, I'm sure it has nothing to do with you shitting it about what it needs to get another MOT and you not even wanting to stick it in now is definitely not because the massive failure sheet it'll generate would then be online and it'd be worth even less than 'Bargain price M8' when it's recorded officially as completely fucked 😂

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