The grumpy thread

[Felly Magic]

Printer scanners are dirt cheap now. I got a HP one from Tesco last year for just over £30

[Luxobarges_Are_Us]

That is disturbingly accurate, SOC. The printing error has taken over it and it won't even fucking scan now!

 

Felly, HP/Compaq are THE WORK OF THE DEVIL. Plus all cheap printers have one colour cartridge which means that you constantly throw away cartridges that are only 1/3 empty.

[Pillock]

HP printers aren't made by HP/Compaq, they're made by pretty much anyone who wants to buy a job lot of HP stickers.

For a giggle, try ringing HP and getting support on them. Give them the serial number and they won't even recognise it, in my experience!

 

All sub-£150 printers are chuff. Every single one of them, so you might as well buy a dirt cheap one and treat it as disposable. If it lasts longer than a couple of ink tanks, BONUS! Either that or pony up and get a business-class laser printer which will be designed to just print thousands of sheets every day. We have Lexmarks at work, the one they just replaced was up to 1,500,000 sheets or so with plenty of abuse.

[AnthonyG]

We have Lexmarks at work, the one they just replaced was up to 1,500,000 sheets or so with plenty of abuse.

 

That's interesting, Lexmarks used to be a byword for shit, maybe it was just the 'domestic' models, which were probably never made by them anyway.

[autofive]

i know a man who imports printers into africa, he wont touch lexmark printers

 

what does that tell you?

[fiatdaft]

That he is a printer importer?

[Cavcraft]

i know a man who imports printers into africa, he wont touch lexmark printers

 

what does that tell you?

 

He has access to a HIAB?

[trigger]

I've got a HP printer/scanner, I bought it 5 years ago, I forget how much it was, something like £100, The printer side of it is pretty crap but the scanner is awesome, I've really hammered it hard since I've had it and touch wood it's still working perfectly.

[autofive]

i know a man who imports printers into africa, he wont touch lexmark printers

 

what does that tell you?

 

He has access to a HIAB?

 

no, just electricals, strangely enough his friend buys mercs and sends them to Tanzania

[Lord Sterling]

Brilliant, more shit luck

 

Last night, Sis_Sterling decided she couldnt be arsed to check the busses home, so missed the last one at 9pm, she texted Ma_Sterling who then nominated muggins taxi service here to pick her and her gobshite mate up. Arriving at destination they get in, I reverse the car looking behind me as I reverse into an old service ramp when BOOM, I hit something, thinking it a high kerb or somthing I get to check its some newly installed fucking knee-high bollard, as its dark I cant really see any damage to my car. After getting back I inspect the damage, the bumper is out of place and there is a small crease on the top of it and a few marks where it was hit. Now an otherwise unmarked good bumper is smacked. Yay!

 

Missed half of 'How it's Made' because the Sky box decided to freeze, get in!

 

Pathetic twats wanting to cut me up or race me because they want to get in front - fuck off and crash.

 

Shit days where everything seems to just go wrong for the fuck of it - Please, fuck off and die.

 

GR8 STUFF, ROLL ON NEXT SHIT DAY...............

[warren t claim]

Where you in the Sterling?

[Lord Sterling]

Yes, I was in the Sterling. I've just come back from taking the rear bumper off and realigning it, there are a few minor marks on the rear and a minor crease on the top. The inside of the boot under the r/h rear light seems to have been very slightly disturbed but otherwise unaffected.

 

I've been in contact with a good mate of mine who may have another rear bumper in the same colour (hopefully)

[Pillock]

We have Lexmarks at work, the one they just replaced was up to 1,500,000 sheets or so with plenty of abuse.

 

That's interesting, Lexmarks used to be a byword for shit, maybe it was just the 'domestic' models, which were probably never made by them anyway.

 

Yeah, the domestic models are shite but as you guess, Lexmark don't make them. Mechanisms made entirely from plastic were the worst part but in general they were designed and built purely to give away "free" with computers. The Z22 model springs to mind that I spent a year supporting - by which I mean dreaming up clever ways of telling customers the shiny printer that the shiny salesman threw into the deal was actuall a pile of rancid horsepoo.

 

We've just lost our C920 which was a complete workhorse and did really nice quality colour prints - almost professional excluding the fact it doesn't do borderless. RRP on the updated version is £8k which puts it out of the domestic market a little! Was overkill for knocking out B&W letters and stuff, however I tended to get a little artistic with my documentation so it's nice to have

[Conrad D. Conelrad]

We got a free Lexmark Z11 with a computer years ago. The worst thing about it was having no black cartridge, so to print black it just printed cyan on top of magenta on top of yellow. The result was shit print quality and an expensive colour cartridge which depleted faster than a Rolls Royce fuel tank.

 

Now have a £40 Brother HL2030 laser which never needs toner and is great. Fuck 'cheap' inkjets.

[Craig the Princess]

Bloody printer. I paid sixty-odd quid to get one of the better Canon all-in-one models (together with a container-load of ink cartridges) from someone on ebay...Must have used it about 15 times over the last 5 months or so, and today it seems to have expired (it was printing fine, then I spotted a couple of errors in the letter I was printing, made a couple of changes and aborted printing...and ever since it's coming up with an error that, according to the internetz, usually means a fucked print head). Can't stand having to go to the 'ethnic' internet cafes to get something printed while I decide what to do with this crock of shite.

 

Have you tried hammering a slightly smaller printer over it?

[Mr_Bo11ox]

This counter moves round a notch every time someone makes a 'joke' about hammering a slighlty smaller something over something else.

 

[cms206]

Heating's packed in. It's hit zero outside. I've got work at 5am.

 

 

[wuvvum]

This counter moves round a notch every time someone makes a 'joke' about hammering a slighlty smaller something over something else.

 

Have you tried hammering a slightly smaller counter over it?

[wuvvum]

Heating's packed in. It's hit zero outside. I've got work at 5am.

 

 

Have you tried hammering a slightly smaller heating system over it?

[Richard]

[Guest]

[TimothyClaypole]

We have Lexmarks at work, the one they just replaced was up to 1,500,000 sheets or so with plenty of abuse.

 

That's interesting, Lexmarks used to be a byword for shit, maybe it was just the 'domestic' models, which were probably never made by them anyway.

 

Yeah, the domestic models are shite but as you guess, Lexmark don't make them. Mechanisms made entirely from plastic were the worst part but in general they were designed and built purely to give away "free" with computers. The Z22 model springs to mind that I spent a year supporting - by which I mean dreaming up clever ways of telling customers the shiny printer that the shiny salesman threw into the deal was actuall a pile of rancid horsepoo.

 

We've just lost our C920 which was a complete workhorse and did really nice quality colour prints - almost professional excluding the fact it doesn't do borderless. RRP on the updated version is £8k which puts it out of the domestic market a little! Was overkill for knocking out B&W letters and stuff, however I tended to get a little artistic with my documentation so it's nice to have

 

There's someone selling them on Ebay for £99.00 ?

 

I'm after a HP CP2025 mainly as I've a new set of toners for one.

[Luxobarges_Are_Us]

I'll buy a 40 quid Epson all-in-one that comes with a set of full-size inks (amazingly, it has separate cartridges even at that price). It's cheaper than buying the inks alone.

[warren t claim]

I think some sort of classic printer banger racing series should be devised.

 

My money is on Kyocera being the Farina of the printer world.

[Rod/b]

Ah now you've started me off: PRINTERS. I've got an HP all-in-one inkjet thing that I paid about 180 quid for a year or two back. Now, the unit itself is just fine, it’s just the print cartridges that do my PIP in.

 

They are that sort of cartridge that has a built in print head. Problem with them is that if you don’t use the bloody printer every bloody day the bloody print head bloody blocks and the bloody colour cartridge is bloody buggered. No amount of cleaning seems to free them up.

 

I wouldn’t mind if print cartridges cost 20p or something but they’re closer to 20 quid, so if you’re only printing the odd thing here and there it can work out at around a tenner a sheet.

 

It’s not had print cartridges in it for about a year now and is basically a very bulky scanner.

[trigger]

^ Snap, exactly the same issues i have with mine, I don't even use the printer anymore as the inks so damn dear.

[Rod/b]

Right then Trig; you, me and a slightly wanky, unreadable A4 sized banner for a Kia-man inspired protest outside HPHQ?

 

(Banner written with crayons, obviously, as my PRINTER DOESNT FUCKING WORK)

[pompei]

^ ^ ^ ^ ^

 

[RedSparrow]

Got a bit of work this week which is good, not ideal but its ok.

 

Anyway, drove into the staff car park yesterday morining to see a small dead cat that had had it's head and tail chopped off. People are horrible sometimes.

[andrew e]

Printers. My lovely Epsom all in one with (seemingly now unavailable removable lid feature) died graciously. The first two new replacements wouldn't play nicely with my ancient dell, so I have bought a new P.C. (sorry Mac, I'm not sold on it yet either, but thats another grump) Instead I purchased the toughest looking thing I could - a Brother that despite being wifi, looks like its from the 1994 Viking direct catalogue. I will attempt to pair it shortly, expect new sweary postings.