The grumpy thread

[scaryoldcortina]

'ow the ecky thump did tha gerra picture of wor front room?

[Albert Ross]

"Did Ye caal Wor pint a poof like?"

 

[scaryoldcortina]

Aye. Did yu spill wor lass? Ootside, noo.

[cms206]

Found a veritable OJC treasure trove today with a Proton MPi blocking in two Mitsubishi Lancers of the same style and a Nissan Laurel, plus a couple of other motors I could ID.

 

Photos... nope. There was an old boy right next to the lot of em in a Nissan Micra giving me daggers for even stopping to look. Grrrr.

 

 

Oh yeah, and the camera's dead. Fffk.

[tonedepear]

"Active grille-shutter"

 

Does anyone else see these new ford Focus ads and just think "fuck me, that's a lot of things to break". And the least said about these stop-start engines the better.

[Albert Ross]

Active grille shutters like the Class 50 where they slammed shut on the bodysides, without warning, and scaring the shit out of me when I was about 13? That kind of active grille shutter? Been around 40 years mate. Old Skool.

[Cavcraft]

Telesales twats. I hate these bastards at the best of times and we're supposed to be on the telephone prefernce list thing where the wankers don't call us. To make it worse the wankers that called tonight were the ambulance chasing type and asking about accident claims. Mrs C took the first call and as we were involved in an accident a couple of years or so ago thought it was genuine and told them to call me back later.

 

Anyhow long story short they called back and when I questioned them for their phone number (as I'd sussed straight away they were chancers) and the geezer mumbled something. It took a few minutes to get it out of them so I asked for their web address. Whilst on hold for a bout five minutes I could hear at least two other people in their office ringing people up and using different company names. I challenged the fucking gobshite about this when he eventually started speaking again and I got his 'boss' who told me they were solicitors and avoided any pertinent questions at which point I finally snapped and told them I was going to help them look into accident claims and drive my fucking car through their window, block the door off and set fire to their building with them in it. He then repeated some shit about them being a genuine company so I told him to fuck off and put the phone down.

 

Ten minutes later my daughter (who wasn't about when I spoke to them) told me they called again, she asked them to stop calling and the dickhead on the phone went into a rant about how I'd called them (not true) to sort it out and she was a 'silly little girl' and that she could complain all she wanted but they weren't arsed.

If anyone finds out who these wankers are (unlikely I know) please let me know. The twat I spoke to said they were called 'Rescue Accident Help Line' and quoted 0845 956 2811 which doesn't actually exist oddly enough.

 

Rant over, I'm going for a lie down to try and not think about finding them and petrol bombing their fucking office.

[tonedepear]

 

The horror

[seth]

Active grille shutters like the Class 50 where they slammed shut on the bodysides, without warning, and scaring the shit out of me when I was about 13? That kind of active grille shutter? Been around 40 years mate. Old Skool.

 

Longer than that. I'm sure there were some posh pre-war cars that had thermostatic grill shutters.

[dollywobbler]

Yup, spot on Seth. Bentley MkVI/Rolls-Royce Silver Dawn for a start. Very odd!

[tonedepear]

I bet they were properly engineered though. I'll eat my own arse if more than 10 percent of these focus ones are still working 5 years from now. And the automatic parking thing. And all the other shite they ladle on to cars now to make people think they're driving a lexus. Wonder if they've sorted out the rust-proofing yet?

[CIH]

Telesales twats. I hate these bastards at the best of times and we're supposed to be on the telephone prefernce list thing where the wankers don't call us. To make it worse the wankers that called tonight were the ambulance chasing type and asking about accident claims. Mrs C took the first call and as we were involved in an accident a couple of years or so ago thought it was genuine and told them to call me back later.

 

Anyhow long story short they called back and when I questioned them for their phone number (as I'd sussed straight away they were chancers) and the geezer mumbled something. It took a few minutes to get it out of them so I asked for their web address. Whilst on hold for a bout five minutes I could hear at least two other people in their office ringing people up and using different company names. I challenged the fucking gobshite about this when he eventually started speaking again and I got his 'boss' who told me they were solicitors and avoided any pertinent questions at which point I finally snapped and told them I was going to help them look into accident claims and drive my fucking car through their window, block the door off and set fire to their building with them in it. He then repeated some shit about them being a genuine company so I told him to fuck off and put the phone down.

 

Ten minutes later my daughter (who wasn't about when I spoke to them) told me they called again, she asked them to stop calling and the dickhead on the phone went into a rant about how I'd called them (not true) to sort it out and she was a 'silly little girl' and that she could complain all she wanted but they weren't arsed.

If anyone finds out who these wankers are (unlikely I know) please let me know. The twat I spoke to said they were called 'Rescue Accident Help Line' and quoted 0845 956 2811 which doesn't actually exist oddly enough.

 

Rant over, I'm going for a lie down to try and not think about finding them and petrol bombing their fucking office.

 

We get them calling all the time a work. Usually people selling advertisment space. A quick C U L8TR and down goes the phone. BAM.

edit 4 grumps: tooth ache. only it's not tooth ache but gummy problems that HURT LIKE HELL when it flares up and the dentists doesn't seem to know what the cause is. Oww.

[eddyramrod]

[/pedant mode] The Bentley MkVI and RR Silver Dawn were post-WW2, sorry...[/exit pedant mode]

[Richard]

Shurely not giving the car a front like a barn door would have been a more effective way of reducing drag.

[Mr_Bo11ox]

These telesales shits bother my dad every fuggin day, despite him being registered with the TPS. He has given up answering the phone altogether and told everyone he knwos to just leave a message. if he's in and he hears them leaving one he picks up. Basically theyve rendered his phone useless.

[Cavcraft]

I looked into this thing where you can block witheld numbers from calling you, the flip side of which is that the hospital/rozzers/doctor can't call you but I could have lived with that. However because we're not with B.T that service doesn't work. Yip-fucking-ee.

 

Oh, and to add to my fantastic mood at the moment the Merc didn't hit reserve on eBaY but within five minutes of it ending I've received two (yes TWO) messages from different people asking for my phone number as they'll 'turn up tomorrow with cash'. This despite them not knowing how much I want for it. Happy fucking days

[dollywobbler]

[/pedant mode] The Bentley MkVI and RR Silver Dawn were post-WW2, sorry...[/exit pedant mode]

 

Reading FAIL! Sorry...

[ashmicro]

Cav

 

Could it have been this lot?

 

http://rescueaccidentassistance.com/default.aspx

 

I *think* they were among the number of firms who phoned us when Katie was hurt.

[Polystratus]

I bet they were properly engineered though. I'll eat my own arse if more than 10 percent of these focus ones are still working 5 years from now. And the automatic parking thing. And all the other shite they ladle on to cars now to make people think they're driving a lexus. Wonder if they've sorted out the rust-proofing yet?

 

Vibrating steering wheel alert if you wander over a white line, wonder what the next technological innovation will be, talking dashboard ?

[seth]

Vibrating steering wheel alert if you wander over a white line,

 

That would really get on my wick everytime I "wandered" over a white line to change lane or overtake someone. Impressive though the Cd quoted in that video is, the car does look totally bland and generic, unlike the original Focus that felt quite revolutionary.

[Pete-M]

all the other shite they ladle on to cars now to make people think they're driving a lexus.

 

Bloody hell, that's about as harsh as you can get. I cannot abide Lexarse. The epitome of dull motoring.

 

LS400's V8 engine is a goodun (when they're not knocking followers for six), but it's wrapped in solid beige bilge. How anyone ever thought that getting a Toyota Carina, xeroxing it up 30%, adding electric seat belt height adjustment and calling it a silly name made it the pinnacle of engineering excellence I'll never know.

 

Yes, they're quiet, but that's about it.

[tonedepear]

I quite like the look of the original is200, but apart from that, I'm with you.

 

Thing is, it' all 'bells & whistles' now with most of the major brands. Like Renault. Oooh, we've got 100 airbags, and if you're about to run over a kitten loads of lights flash and it swerves randomly to avoid squishing tiddles, your key has to be a credit card that slots into a big lady-flange cut into the dashboard, and the air con will huff warm air on your feet if it detects you're well into a long term relationship.

 

Could they not just build a car with an engine that won't eat itself instead?

[Tayne]

.

[dollywobbler]

I'm all for something that annoys the driver if he changes lanes without indicating. I bet BMW don't fit such a feature.

[Pete-M]

Thing is, it' all 'bells & whistles' now with most of the major brands. Like Renault. Oooh, we've got 100 airbags, and if you're about to run over a kitten loads of lights flash and it swerves randomly to avoid squishing tiddles, your key has to be a credit card that slots into a big lady-flange cut into the dashboard, and the air con will huff warm air on your feet if it detects you're well into a long term relationship.

 

Could they not just build a car with an engine that won't eat itself instead?

 

It's been bells and whistles for years. My ol' 604, electric windows, central locking, electric sunroof, power steering, headlamp washers, self emptying ashtray, headlamp height adjust and global closing on a car that was introduced in 1975, and most of that stuff was 20 years behind the Yanks.

 

Stuff like that sells. I try to avoid buying (daily) cars that don't have A/C, for example. I consider it an essential for daily motoring as it makes being in a car so much more pleasant. I can live without plastic key cards and lane guidance shite, but I have no problem whatsoever with a couple of airbags, abs, traction control, cruise, central locking etc.

 

In fact, for a daily driver I like to have A/C, ABS, central locking, cruise, and 'lecky windows. Don't like sunroofs, but I've managed to end up with three cars that all have 'em.

 

As for vibrating Citroens, don't mention those to Wat....

[M'coli]

 

The horror

"The new Focus has a Cd of point two nine five as oposed to the old model's point three one whatever, which is impressive considering the new model is wider and longer than the old one"

So it's a fudge, then, because you're not comparing like with like - Cd is a dimensionless quality, I've had dumps with a better Cd that that Focus but I'm not going to make a song and dance about the lack of wind noise that went with it. For a true comparison the frontal area needs including (the CdA) and for those two cars I bet it isn't much different. Anyway, the old mk2 Ashtray had a Cd of around 0.29 when it came out, 26 years ago.

[Mr_Bo11ox]

I wonder if there will come a point where it will become an ecological plus point for a car NOT to have loads of pointless electrickery on the graound that its a weight saving and therefore reduces numbers of polar bear deaths. These motors like golf Bluemotions, Volvo Drive 'E's and Ford Econetics are all about mega economy, right down to going to town on underbody aerodynamics and so on. Even alloy panes are used in some cases. Maybe someone will say 'Hey lets save a further 100g by sacking off the ecu for the rain-sensing wipers, and 20kg by deleting the elc seat and window motors'. If the absence of all that shite can be packaged as a selling point then maybe there will be a renaissance in cars without useless electro shit blattered all over them.

[dollywobbler]

The idea gets raised quite often Mr Bol - but it's still cheaper to buy an old car with less toys than a new one with less toys.

 

Talking of pointless technology and not being new, I believe that Fiat 1900s of the 1950s had an average speed indicator.

[tonedepear]

Thing is, it' all 'bells & whistles' now with most of the major brands. Like Renault. Oooh, we've got 100 airbags, and if you're about to run over a kitten loads of lights flash and it swerves randomly to avoid squishing tiddles, your key has to be a credit card that slots into a big lady-flange cut into the dashboard, and the air con will huff warm air on your feet if it detects you're well into a long term relationship.

 

Could they not just build a car with an engine that won't eat itself instead?

 

It's been bells and whistles for years. My ol' 604, electric windows, central locking, electric sunroof, power steering, headlamp washers, self emptying ashtray, headlamp height adjust and global closing on a car that was introduced in 1975, and most of that stuff was 20 years behind the Yanks.

 

Stuff like that sells. I try to avoid buying (daily) cars that don't have A/C, for example. I consider it an essential for daily motoring as it makes being in a car so much more pleasant. I can live without plastic key cards and lane guidance shite, but I have no problem whatsoever with a couple of airbags, abs, traction control, cruise, central locking etc.

 

In fact, for a daily driver I like to have A/C, ABS, central locking, cruise, and 'lecky windows. Don't like sunroofs, but I've managed to end up with three cars that all have 'em.

 

As for vibrating Citroens, don't mention those to Wat....

 

Couldn't agree more. I love A/C, leccy windows I'm not fussed, I enjoy a sunroof, central locking makes life easier, cruise control is lovely on the motorway, and ford heated front screens are ace in winter. I'm all for stuff that actually makes life better, but at the minute (specially this focus) it's like they've filmed the adverts, and then fit the car round whatever gimmicky shite they've decided will sell well. How many insurance claims in the future will go along the lines of "My car reversed into another parked vehicle. It wasn't my fault, my hands weren't even touching the wheel".

[Cavcraft]

Cav

 

Could it have been this lot?

 

http://rescueaccidentassistance.com/default.aspx

 

I *think* they were among the number of firms who phoned us when Katie was hurt.

 

I think you may have something here, many thanks for that. I reckon I'm going to get a LOT of mileage out of these twats assuming it is them.