The grumpy thread

[SiC]

I've noticed the shabby BMW E36 attracts a lot less dickheads than the beige Mondeo did.

 

Weird.

Our silver Astra G was an absolute magnet for them. I've never owned a car that was looked down upon by so many other road users. It was a deciding factor in getting rid (apart from Vauxhall seats don't agree with me). Shame as it was a great vehicle wheeled appliance otherwise.

[320touring]

^^ Nicely done, Bob Bob's friend.

 

Knowing Bob, and guessing at his associates* I suspect the recipient of the "Mondo peaceful Glaswegian head hug" may have no doubt foubd it useful to avail themselves of the fortuitously located NHS provided mobile treatment facilities he had previously remonstrated at..

[320touring]

I've noticed the shabby BMW E36 attracts a lot less dickheads than the beige Mondeo did.

 

Weird.

They're just after "Tenners bag, m9"

 

#neverpissoffthedealer

[Cavcraft]

Totes agree about bad driving, wasn't overly amused to be riding my scooter through a village yesterday and finding an oncoming Mini in the middle of the road on pretty bad bend overtaking a cyclist.

[Ghosty]

Couple of months ago I introduced two of my best friends to each other. They have a 16 year age gap.

 

Turns out they're now fucking, and both have since been neglecting me.

 

[Wack]

 

 

 

I COMPLETELY AGREE WITH YOU ON THIS!!!!

 

oh.. oops!

 

But yes. Why does everyone shout these days. The subtle art of "normal comversation" appears to be rather lost.

 

And I'm in complete agreement over sodding football. 22 over-paid under-inteligent tossers chasing an inflated pig's bladder around a field. Yes, because that's entertainment. *snorrrrrrrrre*

 

 

What I love about HDTV is when they're writhing on the floor in agony clutching a leg and the HD slow motion replay shows no contact whatsoever

 

[New POD]

Fucking idiot project planner cunts. They've booked 4hrs of meetings from 10-2, yup they are too fucking stupid to plan around lunch so it's no wonder all NHS projects fail.

I assume lunch is provided? in which case it's a great plan

[New POD]

Couple of months ago I introduced two of my best friends to each other. They have a 16 year age gap.

 

Turns out they're now fucking, and both have since been neglecting me.

 

is now the time too mention that you've never been a best man or bridesmaid. just be happy for them

[Split_Pin]

Our silver Astra G was an absolute magnet for them. I've never owned a car that was looked down upon by so many other road users. It was a deciding factor in getting rid (apart from Vauxhall seats don't agree with me). Shame as it was a great vehicle wheeled appliance otherwise.

Had my Silver G Coupe for 13 years and never had a problem with anyone on the roads. Weird.

 

The 75 is great for tailgaters because the car behind can see me raise the rear sunblind, giving them a gesture something like "toddle on"!

[Mr A Lawrence]

fucking crows!!

 

our back garden is a haven for wild birds,

 

we've just put up a "bird station", a garden arch with a platform onto which ive put a bird table and hung feeders off the arch full of tasty bird food which they all love

 

we have a huge family of sparrows which have been teaching their fledglings sparrow shit over the past few days, we also have a mix of wrens, robins, blue tits, great tits, yellow finches, green finches, blackbirds with fledglings, wood pigeons and doves plus some speckled thrushes sometimes.

 

 

then we have the crows.

 

big, black, squawking fucking crows!

 

they descend on the food like a gang of angry fat kids on a dropped chocolate bar!

 

i was woken up an 6am this morning to around 7 of them knocking fuck out of everything and squawking like fuck!!!

 

fucking things are doing my nut in, and costing me a small fortune too.

 

wankers.

[DodgeRover]

Couple of months ago I introduced two of my best friends to each other. They have a 16 year age gap.

 

Turns out they're now fucking, and both have since been neglecting me.

 

Have you tried asking nicely if you can join in the fun?

[yes oui si]

Couple of months ago I introduced two of my best friends to each other. They have a 16 year age gap.

 

Turns out they're now fucking, and both have since been neglecting me.

 

As long as they're both consenting adults, let them fuck - I'm not sure how other people's sex lives can be a detriment to you.

 

Arrange to meet them for a drink if they're now dating; be supportive and let them make mistakes if they're going to make them... Again, they're adults. You were friends with them before, that doesn't have to stop.

 

If they're not dating and just fucking each other because holy hell sex is good, then let them. You're not the foof and willy police.

[SierraMikeHotel]

Oh, I'll stick up for Ghosty. The grump is that he's feeling neglected. I don't have a large circle of friends either, would be a bit dull if I suddenly lost two of them.

 

It won't be forever mate, they'll come up for air and be back to the pub (or wherever) with you before long!

[GrumpiusMaximus]

Just happened round shop to a friend*

 

Came out of TescoExpress after purchase, there's an ambulance double parked across half of his car, totally blocking another two (parked nose first, Ambo parked perpendicular).

 

Cunt in blocked in car "Fackin' move your fackin' van M8, I need to get out" ... Cunt then proceeds to go and bang on Ambo window and shout moar at driver who is on the phone.

 

Friend "You want to knock that on the head, they're doing a job"

 

Cunt: "Fack off you fat bastard, what's it got to do wiv you? Prick!"

 

Friend "Calm down, get back in your piece of shit car (Audi A3 62 plate) and shut up"

 

Cunt: "Gonna make me you fackin' cahnt?"

 

Friend (Walks up to Cunt, gives him a Glasgow kiss, Cunt staggers back to car, gets in locks door).

 

I reckon a public service has just been provided.

 

A friend of mine is an Ambulance Technician, and says this sort of abuse is happening more and more - some of you may have read about that chav who put a note on an Ambo's windscreen.....

 

For the record, they can block me in, park across my drive, anything they have to do, you won't hear a peep out of me.

 

 

They should have one of your friends* in every ambulance.  Also, take a genetic sample while they're staggered so that if the ambulance ever has to attend to them, they can identify it is them and refuse life-saving service.

[Remspoor]

Who is that perve who stopped up-skirting becoming illegal?

And why did he stop the new law?

Is he superman? In that he and only he take take control of government?

[dozeydustman]

Who is that perve who stopped up-skirting becoming illegal?

And why did he stop the new law?

Is he superman? In that he and only he take take control of government?

 

 

Christopher Chope, MP for Southampton Itchen.

[adw1977]

Who is that perve who stopped up-skirting becoming illegal?

And why did he stop the new law?

Is he superman? In that he and only he take take control of government?

 

Sir Christopher Chope

Some arcane point of principle

It only takes one MP to object to stop a bill being passed without a full debate.  Looks like the bill (or a similar one) will come back and be scheduled for full debate, then it can be passed by a simple majority.

[yes oui si]

Who is that perve who stopped up-skirting becoming illegal?

And why did he stop the new law?

Is he superman? In that he and only he take take control of government?

Tories gonna Tory.

[cobblers]

I don't think the bloke actually believes in taking pictures up womens skirts, he's a member of one of these "libertarian" groups and just votes any new laws down without even reading them, and thinks he's dead smart for it.

[DeeJay]

I'd love this for every lane hogger and "brake tester".

Sweary. 

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M5dL4DPm-DE

[dave21478]

I don't mean ram into them flat out Demolition Derby style.  I mean gently but firmly remove them from the road.

 

Someone tried to brake check me in the Transit the other day (doesn't happen very often in that to be fair - it's so battered that few people will attempt anything stupid with it) - except I wasn't actually that close to them so just swung round them and drove past.  I then spent the next couple of miles with them right up my arse, and I did wonder whether I'd get away with slamming on my own brakes then knocking it into reverse and ramming them - wouldn't have to be particularly fast, the back end of a Transit is going to be a lot stronger than the front end of a car.

 

Then I remembered how rusty my Transit is and decided it'd probably be a stupid idea.

 

I really want to try a Pitt Maneuver, as favoured by the cops in Trumpton. Scratched wing for me, backwards into the fucking ditch for them.

[Guest Hooli]

I assume lunch is provided? in which case it's a great plan

 

Don't be daft, it took 10mins of searching to find a cup to be able to get a drink of tap water!

[RayMK]

It's looking as though the enthusiastic chap who won my son's Tipo on the bay is not going to turn up.  He was due at 11am today but the last contact was mid week.  This will be the second dreamer that he has had to contend with.  It is making me grumpy because I want space on my driveway.  I'm also trying to resist the temptation of buying it myself.  

[Tadhg Tiogar]

It's looking as though the enthusiastic chap who won my son's Tipo on the bay is not going to turn up. He was due at 11am today but the last contact was mid week. This will be the second dreamer that he has had to contend with....

He'll end up having to block a lot of bidders*

[Cavcraft]

I don't know what you're moaning about, TBH. I got a green belt in karate after 6 months of trying, and it turns out I can't fight in built up areas.

[rantingYoof]

I'd love this for every lane hogger and "brake tester".

Sweary. 

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M5dL4DPm-DE

 

That was quite special.

[Tamworthbay]

Just had a walnut whip, or a whip as they are now called apparently, some bastard has decided to nick the walnut, presumably to save money whilst blaming nut allergies or some crap I bet. Another childhood treat ruined, won’t buy another.

[MarvinsMom]

Just had a walnut whip, or a whip as they are now called apparently, some bastard has decided to nick the walnut, presumably to save money whilst blaming nut allergies or some crap I bet. Another childhood treat ruined, won’t buy another.

i blame them squirrels......

 

little bastards,

 

with their twitchy noses and big bushey tails!

[Guest Hooli]

You can't trust the gray ones, bloody immigrants coming over here stealing our walnuts!

[hennabm]

I'd love this for every lane hogger and "brake tester".

Sweary. 

 

 

This is exactly why we need more plods out there. Scamera vans do not help sort this.

 

There is still some justice out there..