The grumpy thread

[Mr H Sceptre]

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[autofive]

RIP frank

 

[Tayne]

.

[chester drawers]

An over-excited and apparently lost terrier of some sort arrived amidst the building chaos this morning and proceeded to randomly piss on things. Not seen the dog before, but since he had a disc on his collar I thought I’d return him to his owner a few minutes walk away.

 

Door opened almost immediately as I knocked and the dog jumped straight back into familiar surroundings. Failing to make eye contact a man of indeterminate age mumbled OK and the door closed again. And that was that. No thanks for bringing my dog back, no thanks for dragging it out of the path of the chav’s Staffs bull. Absolutely nothing.

 

I need to get some keys cut soon. A disc engraved “my owner is an ignorant c*nt†may well be commissioned in readiness for the dog’s inevitable return visit.

[Pillock]

Just ring the council. They'll return the dog for you, and charge the owner for the privilege.

[MrDuke]

Fucking dumbed-down debate with an idiot audience on channel 4.

What's gone wrong, Despatches?

 

The studio audience thought they could save £16billion with road charging, not realising that they would be paying well over £16billion themselves.

 

They also wouldn't listen to the sensible GP who was in the middle on the NHS pricing debate.

 

[Danblez]

What is it with people who have no idea of the width of their car?

 

Every feckin day I am forced to breath in as I drive past nearside cars within a whisker because some twat, often in a large 4x4, thinks their vehicle is in fact 3 foot wider than it actually is.

 

I have started to play chicken with them now but fear an 'incident' before long.

 

I really need a big old shitter so I can go out baiting these IMBECILES!

[Angrydicky]

What is it with people who have no idea of the width of their car?

 

Every feckin day I am forced to breath in as a drive past nearside cars within a whisker because some twat, often in a large 4x4, thinks their vehicle is in fact 3 foot wider than it actually is.

 

I have started to play chicken with them now but fear an 'incident' before long.

 

I really need a big old shitter so I can go out baiting these IMBECILES!

 

My vote is for a rusty Fronterror, or maybe a shitey old Land Rover like the one Albert Ross has

[Guest]

What is it with people who have no idea of the width of their car?

 

Every feckin day I am forced to breath in as a drive past nearside cars within a whisker because some twat, often in a large 4x4, thinks their vehicle is in fact 3 foot wider than it actually is.

 

I have started to play chicken with them now but fear an 'incident' before long.

 

I really need a big old shitter so I can go out baiting these IMBECILES!

 

My vote is for a rusty Fronterror, or maybe a shitey old Land Rover like the one Albert Ross has

Special Mike near me has an FC101. That would do the job.

[pandamonium]

On a related note- people in small cars who drive through a width restriction at 1 mph, some even folding their mirrors in! My record is 60 mph in the Mazda 929, but I haven't tried more than 40 in the Benz. Get some spacial awareness you fools.

[Conrad D. Conelrad]

Ha. There's one near my house, which my dad slows to 10mph for. When I learnt to drive, my instructor told me not to slow down for it.

 

You can imagine the noise my dad made the first time he was a passenger with me driving.

[Lord Sterling]

...You can imagine the noise my dad made the first time he was a passenger with me driving...

I can, my Dad used to do the same when teaching me to drive

 

My mum on the other-hand is very Hyacinth Bucket

[Cavcraft]

Take one wank car.

Add various bell end-ish shit like fishtank/hair dryer/laptop/automatic dog feeder/bowling ball washer/cat walker/sink/etc.

Apply snow plough bumpers, blinging 97" alloy wheels. Spray garish colour.

Invite whooping , hollering OMG-ing, fuckwitted wannabe drug dealer to inspect the mess you have made of his, or her, car.

Et voila, Pimp My Ride.

[Parky]

I love Pimp my Ride, purely because one day I am hoping someone is going to turn around and say something like:

 

"22 inch Gold wheels? Kerbfeelers? Shite graphics? How many feckin TV's? Have you any idea of how many batteries I am going to go through? And why do I need a goldfish tank and a jelly bean dispenser? You have ruined my car, put it back the way it was before I twat you Mr Westwood/Xibit" (delete as appropriate)

 

The UK version is a bit lame compared with the US one. I'd like to see what the Yanks would do with a '78 Marina or a Maestro!

[Guest]

I love Pimp my Ride, purely because one day I am hoping someone is going to turn around and say something like:

 

"22 inch Gold wheels? Kerbfeelers? Shite graphics? How many feckin TV's? Have you any idea of how many batteries I am going to go through? And why do I need a goldfish tank and a jelly bean dispenser? You have ruined my car, put it back the way it was before I twat you Mr Westwood/Xibit" (delete as appropriate)

 

The UK version is a bit lame compared with the US one. I'd like to see what the Yanks would do with a '78 Marina or a Maestro!

I only watch UK PMR because of that lass with the pink hair.

 

I'll go and get my coat.

[maxpower]

I love Pimp my Ride, purely because one day I am hoping someone is going to turn around and say something like:

 

"22 inch Gold wheels? Kerbfeelers? Shite graphics? How many feckin TV's? Have you any idea of how many batteries I am going to go through? And why do I need a goldfish tank and a jelly bean dispenser? You have ruined my car, put it back the way it was before I twat you Mr Westwood/Xibit" (delete as appropriate)

 

The UK version is a bit lame compared with the US one. I'd like to see what the Yanks would do with a '78 Marina or a Maestro!

I only watch UK PMR because of that lass with the pink hair.

 

I'll go and get my coat.

i hate watching uk pmr.. with westwood sounding like some pensioner trying to convince himself he is full of street cred when infact he looks and sounds like a total wanker

[Station]

Miserable twat MOT testers. I was told today my car was only good enough for 'Grass Track or the Oval'. You cheeky fucking cunt.

[Spiny Norman]

 

i hate watching uk pmr.. with westwood sounding like some pensioner trying to convince himself he is full of street cred when infact he looks and sounds like a total wanker

Westwood really is a knob of the highest order....

 

[Guest]

Miserable twat MOT testers. I was told today my car was only good enough for 'Grass Track or the Oval'. You cheeky fucking cunt.

The place I used to use were like that. The tester used to delight in telling me that the OS outer sills on my Amazon were fucked. Except the OS outers weren't fucked, it was the NS outers that were so afflicted. When the gaffer agreed with me and told him to stop being such a mong, he started giving me evils every time he came into the Co Op.

 

I stopped getting work done there when he decided it was FWD and that the driveshafts at the front were 'a weird shape'. That's because they're non existent and at the other end of the car, you turd.

 

He was also the proud owner of the world's most fucked non chav Saxo. He'd done it up like a VTS (and told everyone it was 'the fast one') and got exceptionally pissed off with me when I noticed the three stud RIMZ it was rolling on. The front bonnet and valence were so rusty it looked like he'd crashed it head on into a septic tank.

 

GR 9 TIMEZ.

[Station]

Yeah, he kept saying it's in awful condition, and the fail list was as long as your arm. It was one page, consisting of three line, obscure fail points.

I spent 10 POUNDS and sorted half the list.

It also listed both sills have excessive corrosion - except ... there is no corrosion there ... also ... the fixed side skirts cover the entire sill area (the tester can't go bending stuff back to peer inside). I've had the side skirts off and the only holes are the drainage holes. Mystery? No. BULLSHIT. He said it needs welding about 10 times on the sills - THERE IS NO CORROSION. THERE IS NO CORROSION.

I hadn't tightened a nut on the front strut properly. And also I put the rear suspension on wrong as they were for the wrong model of car.

 

And that's it. Hardly oval-fodder is it?

[Lord Sterling]

Take comfort in the fact that some MOT testers are complete wankers who dont know what they are talking about. These are the kind of people who will say a 07' Golf is "old".

 

Its just the matter of finding the right people with the right attitude, they may not always near you but at least you can be sure in getting the right attitude and work done correctly.

[Minimad5]

Miserable twat MOT testers. I was told today my car was only good enough for 'Grass Track or the Oval'. You cheeky fucking cunt.

Where did you take it to Dave ?

[Guest]

Yeah, he kept saying it's in awful condition, and the fail list was as long as your arm. It was one page, consisting of three line, obscure fail points.

I spent 10 POUNDS and sorted half the list.

It also listed both sills have excessive corrosion - except ... there is no corrosion there ... also ... the fixed side skirts cover the entire sill area (the tester can't go bending stuff back to peer inside). I've had the side skirts off and the only holes are the drainage holes. Mystery? No. BULLSHIT. He said it needs welding about 10 times on the sills - THERE IS NO CORROSION. THERE IS NO CORROSION.

I hadn't tightened a nut on the front strut properly. And also I put the rear suspension on wrong as they were for the wrong model of car.

 

And that's it. Hardly oval-fodder is it?

Book it in at Reece's near me. They're pretty fair TBH. And dob twat boy into VOSA for being a twat.

[MrDuke]

I love my local garage - there's loads of chav-looking scrotes working there, but they seem to be pretty well trained by the chief dude, who's a top, top bloke. He's well used to me rolling up in totally hanging shite for an MOT, and will be lenient on points that aren't safety-related. In fact, I don't think he's ever even mentioned corrosion, anywhere, on any of the usually-rust-infested cars I've taken there.

[Pillock]

told him to stop being such a mong, he started giving me evils every time he came into the Co Op.

 

[Station]

I've been riled enough to go outside a re-check, am I missing something?

Here's the sill covers, fixed to the bottom with little push on buttons, and clips, go right up to the seam/jacking points:

 

 

With sill cover/side skirt off - there's basic surface rust where I've jacked it up - no corrosion that you can pick off, make holes into. The roughness is underseal and weld seam seal from when I put a new arch on:

 

 

Other side:

 

 

Same:

 

 

The underside is spotless, these cars don't rust in this area! Argh.

[Albert Ross]

Put the covers back on. Appeal against it, the VOSA peeps will be in touch, and he will get points or a suspension. Go on. We need to get these wankers off the list sharpish.

 

And yes, I am a tester too.

[Pillock]

Firstly, he shouldn't have taken the covers off. You could always blame those broken clips on him. When he protests that it wasn't him wot broke 'em, like.... then you can enquire as to which of his superpowers enables him to detect the condition of a metal part when it is still covered by plastic.

 

Either way he's an asshat and needs reporting.

[warren t claim]

Where did you take it to be tested?

[warren t claim]

The Morrisons in Speke has a big picture on the wall showing the TR6 and 7 production line. Sad we don't make cars on that scale in Merseyside anymore.