The grumpy thread

[Negative Creep]

Reached into the cupboard to get a snack and found a mouse already helping himself. So that will be why my crisp packets always have holes in them

[Lord Sterling]

Not a grump, just a question.

 

Why do some threads appear in red on the index and others not?

 

I have attempted to work out a correlation but failed. At first it seemed to be where I had read the whole thread from first to last post, sequentially but that doesn't hold true. Some stay red for days without me revisiting them, some don't turn red at all

Might be something to do with your browser not updating itself everytime the website updates itself.

 

When they appear in Red, (Usually on this site) it means that you have already clicked on the thread and had previously visited it.

 

My gump for today (And probably the rest of the week) I have a car, its sitting outside, already to go, all I need is - Petrol, to get petrol, I need money, I dont have money, hence car cannot really go anywhere, and nor can I, unless I walk it.

 

Cant really use the car until I get paid from my last shitty job last week, with all bastard agencies You have to work a week in hand, then wait another week before getting paid....

 

Which leads me onto another thing - Banks. Greedy fuckers! have taken out £111 over my overdraft in charges for going over my overdraft a few months ago, so even if I get paid today most of that will be swallowed up by greedy fucking banks, leaving me with less than £20 to survive on.

 

Gonna be speaking to anyone who is going to pay me from now on to pay directly to me by check, cash, whatever, just not into my Bank, think I'll be changing, or hiding money under my matress........

[myglaren]

Not a grump, just a question.

 

Why do some threads appear in red on the index and others not?

 

I have attempted to work out a correlation but failed. At first it seemed to be where I had read the whole thread from first to last post, sequentially but that doesn't hold true. Some stay red for days without me revisiting them, some don't turn red at all

Might be something to do with your browser not updating itself everytime the website updates itself.

 

When they appear in Red, (Usually on this site) it means that you have already clicked on the thread and had previously visited it.

 

That's just it, some I have read appear in - red, others don't. It is spread over two computers, on running Vista and the browser is Flock, the other running Ubuntu and the browser is Chromium (not Chrome)

It remains after a Shift+F5, reboot, cleared cache, whatever.

 

Cant really use the car until I get paid from my last shitty job last week, with all bastard agencies You have to wrok a week in hand, then wait another week before getting paid....

 

 

The one I worked for, we would fax in our timesheets on a Friday morning and they would bring the cash round at around 2pm.

Perhaps they weren't as crap as I thought.

[pogweasel]

I have grumped about it before, but I will grump about it again.

 

Cyclists.

NOT old maids on their way to church on an old upright.

NOT folk riding to work.

NOT youths hurtling about on BMX's.

Even lunatic couriers

They are all FINE.

 

But those TWATS who dress head to toe in lycra and then proceed to RACE each other down the A1 on a sunday morning. Fucking idiots.

I do NOT expect to have to stand on the brakes and / or take avoiding action because they are all across the road. If they want to race each other, there are velodromes for that.

 

If this were kids on mopeds (approx the same speed) they'd be up before the beak for such activity.

The prohibition of racing on the public highway should apply to ALL vehicles.

 

 

[chaseracer]

The prohibition of racing on the public highway should apply to ALL vehicles.

It does.

[Station]

If this were kids on mopeds (approx the same speed) they'd be up before the beak for such activity.

The prohibition of racing on the public highway should apply to ALL vehicles.

 

 

You get the feeling they're doing you a favour. I hate having to keep my eye on bikes as if it's my responsibility, I like going on the bike, but I put my own safety first before my 'right of way'.

 

Also, note to police forces across the country - if you're tired of aiming 99% of your powers at convicting car owners, then try the majority of motorbike riders. I can say MOST bike riders speed off from a junction to 80mph on a 30 mph and most of them seem to break the law at every opportunity. I don't understand how I still see bike riders overtaking on an A road at well over twice the speed limit onto oncoming traffic and they have no fear of conviction.

As I said, not all bikers do this, most of them do. I know this as I see it every day, and I can safely say my judgement is correct.

[warren t claim]

To be honest if a bike chooses not to stop for the police there really is not a lot the Police can do. Many forces have a policy of not engaging in persuits with motorcycles anyway due to health and safety. Even those that will allow it know the chances of catching the rider are minimal and the only way they stand a chance of a conviction is if the rider crashes. Ignore what the Police Interceptor programs tell you, a decent sportsbike will get to 100mph before a plod Evo will hit 60.

[wuvvum]

Norfolk Constabulary have recently bought themselves an unmarked ZX12R for catching lunatic bikers. And realistically there aren't many people out there who will be able to outrun a police rider on a ZX12R.

[Timewaster]

TWATS who dress head to toe in lycra and then proceed to RACE each other down the A1 on a sunday morning. Fucking idiots.

The prohibition of racing on the public highway should apply to ALL vehicles

I say bin this coalition joke of a government - POG FOR PM!!

[chaseracer]

TWATS who dress head to toe in lycra and then proceed to RACE each other down the A1 on a sunday morning. Fucking idiots.

The prohibition of racing on the public highway should apply to ALL vehicles

I say bin this coalition joke of a government - POG FOR PM!!

Got my vote...

[Guest]

TWATS who dress head to toe in lycra and then proceed to RACE each other down the A1 on a sunday morning. Fucking idiots.

The prohibition of racing on the public highway should apply to ALL vehicles

I say bin this coalition joke of a government - POG FOR PM!!

Got my vote...

Can we ban call centres?

[Guest]

If you ever wondered how money gets wasted in local government, here's a nice example.

 

Our directorate (big group of departments) has changed names again. So from now on, we're not what we used to be called - we're something else. This has actually been ongoing for some time, but we only just got the Email. The new head changed the name, probably just to prove that they can. New boss, new name. Always happens. Sometimes you don't even need a new boss for it to happen. No explanation as to why we've changed name. I've been there since late 2004 and I think this is probably the fifth name change, possibly more - I genuinely can't remember anymore.

 

Anyway, as well as dicking around changing little things like my Email signature, it entails me redesigning most of our documents to reflect the new name, usually takes a couple of hours, not the end of the world. Pre-printed stuff is more of a problem. Because we're meant to be saving money, we have to use up existing stocks of pre-printed letterheads, slips, etc. with the old name on. Realistically, this will happen for about 6 months and then we'll chuck the rest, because by then it'll become obvious that we have enough stock for a few years whereas other offices do not and it'll start to look ridiculous - some office will send a letter with the new name, we'll send it with the old name, confusion ensues, etc. In the recycler go a load of reams of professional-quality third-party produced documents.

 

The funny thing is, we've only in the last few months managed to move onto the stock of stuff from our last name change (which came in mid-2009 if I remember correctly). We'll probably only just get onto stationery with the "new" name before it gets changed again, or maybe we won't even make it that far this time.

 

I briefly looked into some old Emails to try and figure out all our name changes over the years and it turns out that the new directorate name is only one word different from the name when I started - we've come full circle.

[Polystratus]

If you ever wondered how money gets wasted in local government, here's a nice example.

 

Previous goverment was known for this sort of thing, place use to work at had contracts with various goverment depts., £200,000 worth of infomation leaflets were destroyed because someone noticed that the very last word on the leaflet was missing a full stop.

[garethj]

Previous goverment was known for this sort of thing, place use to work at had contracts with various goverment depts., £200,000 worth of infomation leaflets were destroyed because someone noticed that the very last word on the leaflet was missing a full stop.

That would never happen in the private sector.

 

My other half used to work for a company where the Quality Department had some stickers made saying "Quality is everyone's reponsibility"

 

You read it right

[pandamonium]

The 'Americanization' of the workplace (esp mine).

We now have to fill in 'Daily snapshot planners', and account for every block of 15 mins we use. We have also had a gym installed so that office staff can work out before work to invigorate body and mind. Bullshit! The last thing I need on a Monday morning is a 5 mile run to start the day ffs! I will be boycotting said facilities.

We also have now got to have our desks arranged exactly the same as each other, and even our computer desktops have to be identical.

Spastical American crappy philosophies that have no real benefit in the workplace and were probably invented by some 40 year old virgin in his mum's basement!

[dollywobbler]

Oh come on Pandamonium - where's your team spirit? Sounds like you need a team bonding session for some blue sky thinking - hopefully you can cover a big Savannah and turn into a real team player. Or sumfink!

[M'coli]

We also have now got to have our desks arranged exactly the same as each other, and even our computer desktops have to be identical.

So how do left-handed people cope? Do management come round and break their fingers, forcing them to use their right hand?

[Pete-M]

I've earned myself a couple of 'days off' recently by pointing out to the big cheese, the head honcho, the owner of the business that when he repeatedly says "utilise" he'd be better off just saying "use", as follows.

 

Big Cheese -"Pete, when you're going that way, would you put the rubbish in that car and head past the recycling plant on the way, we need to utilise our time and resources more effectively"

Me - "So, if I'm passing the tip, use the car to drop all the shite off? No problem! Will do!"

 

Which is a bit of a bugger, because they're unpaid days off 'as work has gone very quiet', which to be fair, it has.

[dollywobbler]

I used to work with a bloke who used to like taking the piss with management speak. When people came to him with a problem, he started responding: "Let's put our fishy slippers on and see if we can walk to France!"

 

Thankfully, most places I've worked, management have been pretty straight-forward with what they say. For the most part...

[Rocket88]

my boss has started to use the dreaded phrase "bottom out" [as in "we're going to have bottom this out". He's going to get slapped fairly shortly......

[M'coli]

Work sent round an e-mail that had me giggling uncontrollably in my seat and shouting "house!" and "bingo!", such was the quantity of bullshit bingo in it!

[The Moog]

Car park tw@ts and stones.

 

Finally enjoying my Carlsson and in the week since the MOT I have had two stones fly up and crack the windscreen. Followed by intermittent ABS lights.

 

Final straw was a muppet with a tow bar reversed into the front bumper in saisnburys car park. Put a lovely dent in it and cracked it

[Pillock]

We also have now got to have our desks arranged exactly the same as each other, and even our computer desktops have to be identical.

So how do left-handed people cope? Do management come round and break their fingers, forcing them to use their right hand?

I've just moved into an office, my first ever desk job. There's lots of groups of four desks with the PCs arranged identically, at opposite ends.

 

Except mine, now. Why do I want to look at a wall whilst I'm working? I moved it. Tomorrow I'm buying a pot plant.

[Guest]

Twat boy at my place thinks he's a manager. He is not a manager.

 

Somehow, twat boy thinks we are still on good terms. I am not a manager.

 

'Jon' quoth he, 'Did you know there's some openings at Sky?'

 

'Is that twatspeak for "jobs"?' I ask. 'I'm not fucking working for Sky you bell-end' I reply.

 

Whilst I am berating twat boy, the canteen lady brings me my special order out from around the counter and I thank her as politely as I can. Such diametrically opposed modes of address led several new members of staff to ask my manager if I was schizophrenic. Another thought I was autistic, as I like to align things on my desk. I also filled two A3 sides of paper with the words 'DULL' in tiny handwriting.

 

I stand behind her now drumming my head shouting 'PANCAKES ON A TUESDAY!' in my best 'care in the community' voice whenever I can.

[ChinaTom]

Back in 1997, a great deal of money and time were wasted changing a department's name and logo from British Sugar Technical Centre to BSTC. Hundreds of thousands to marketing companies, consultants and stationery companies. Less than 12 months later the whole placed closed down due to top brass finally realizing the place was a piss-take anyway.

 

I recently worked with a bunch of wannabe execs who could fill their (extremely short) days with waffle and bollocks. I would regularly cringe at

 

"let's have a wash-up meeting at four thirty" - made all the worse as he thought 4:30 was the end of the day.

"let's touch base regarding that later"

“This all seems very purple box†– the explanation for this is too inane to repeat.

 

One chap was pointlessly and inexplicably promoted from an office department team leader to a lofty position heading up their whole northern China operations (about £900m worth of projects) based, it seemed anyhow, on his ability to utilize this vernacular. When visiting our site, he would burst into the project office followed by his prancing camp interpreter, clap his hands together and command us to "gather round, gather round". Poncy twat. Mind you, we did add a few choice phrases to his repertoir:

 

"That's D-CAB status" which indicated something was very good. Actually stood for Dog's Cock and Balls.

"This'll need a DFA for final approval" which indicated something was in need of a solution. We really needed a Different Fuckin' Arrangement.

 

Early morning (well, 08:30 was early for them) gym sessions before breakfast nearly became mandatory for us. The idiots would dress up in “fitness gearâ€Â, do a few miles on the treadmill, do some weights, then wrap a towel around their necks and go straight to breakfast. They would, without fail, all be useless by 11:30 and reek too. One visiting manager decided to propose a health and safety requirement for us all to have regular “work-out†sessions. Amusingly, he had to go home early as the industrial Chinese city of Xi’An smoggy atmosphere caused him to relive some childhood bronchial asthma while jogging around the block. This was the same guy who made a proposal for a UK project team to avoid driving into the rising or setting sun on their site commutes. A little tricky if you live in Peterborough and the site is in King’s Lynn, so the “project days†were shortened – arrive later and leave earlier to lower the risk of accidents. I kid you not.

 

Sometimes I miss being embedded in the corporate world just to cause mischief. But care needs to be exercised as too much of it can lead to a depressive state of mind – much psychological damage can be done. That ought to be in their H&S manual.

[warren t claim]

It looks like Gus Hedges is alive and well and in the offices of shiters nationwide. . Time for an anal interface with a toilet seat situation I think.

[chaseracer]

Time for an anal interface with a toilet seat...

That would represent a suboptimal 'log cabin' scenario. You need to revisit your personal goal to realign your aspirational mindset vis-a-vis the waste disposal paradigm, thus ensuring a completely A1 outcome for your project.

 

[garethj]

It looks like Gus Hedges is alive and well

ROFL

 

But watching TV news these days, it seems Drop The Dead Donkey was actually a documentary

[Guest]

I have now stopped posting on the VOC forum due to the posting habits of one aforementioned twat on the Amazon section.

 

This bloke winds me up something chronic. To be honest, the Amazon section is biased towards the keen-but-useless type of owner like me. Within this number are some genuinely capable people who have years of skill and a great deal of knowledge.

 

Bar one rather obvious exception, they are fantastic lads who will help you out and are happy to impart their wisdom.

 

And then we get to this other member. Undoubtedly he has skill. His cars are beautifully turned out and have indeed won shows, and rightly so. I have a colossal problem with him in that he goes out to belittle other members and rip their cars to pieces, especially when they put them up for sale and they don't meet his exacting standards. There's nothing wrong with constructive criticism, especially when money is changing hands, but the way in which he goes out of his way to imply that every car for sale is a rancorous piece of shit winds me up. There probably is some truth in what he says, but it's the way he feigns incredulity ('Well I could be wrong') that boils my piss.

 

We all know that forums are dreadful at conveying tone, and while I have a grudging respect for his skills and knowledge, I can't stand his arrogance on the forum itself. We bang heads every time I venture on there. So I've logged off the VOC (probably for good now) with all the numbers that I need. I'll renew my membership to the club next year so that I can carry on getting cheaper car insurance.

 

Let this be my last post where I'm critical of other forums. It's just a shame more than anything.

 

Apparently he isn't like that in person. Oh, right.

[MrDuke]

My most-hated word of EVAH used to be "pro-active" - I used to grind my teeth with frustration every time I heard it. Then "corporate" itself started touching a raw nerve with me, due to its continual use as a (pointless) prefix to so many other words.

Now, I can be reduced to paroxysms (sic?) of rage by receiving an email asking me to "action" something My mental state is now so warped I literally have to walk away from the computer and slam some filing cabinets to relieve the anger. IT'S A FUCKING NOUN YOU PRETENTIOUS CNUTS, NOT A SHITTING VERB!! WHY CAN'T YOU JUST ASK ME TO DO SOMETHING, YOU CAN EVEN ORDER ME TO DO IT IN A REALLY OBNOXIOUS AND RUDE WAY, I DON'T CARE, JUST STOP MOLESTING THE LANGUAGE!!