The grumpy thread

[D Spares & Tyres]

I'm getting circumcised next month. Just thought I would through that in. lol

Ne'er cast a clout til the month of may is out

 

I would keep hold of your polo neck til then

[chaseracer]

There are too many tags on Autoshite now.  The board is far too colourful.

 

 

 

 

[madrat]

Ne'er cast a clout til the month of may is out

 

I would keep hold of your polo neck til then

It's 2018 not 1618 mate.

[omegod]

Certainly scares the crap out of you.

When I first did my back in I was prescribed some sort of pills to relieve the agony of my bad back. I think it was like Voltarol but on prescription only and much stronger.

After months of using it I started to get really bad stomach aches. It became a case of take the pills and suffer bad guts or don’t take the pills and be in agonising back pain.

It came to a head one day when I went to the loo and produced dark black shits! That’s a bleeding stomach then!

I stood up after ‘going’ and suddenly felt absolutely awful. My vision started blurring then became tunnel vision and I fell over forwards into the sink. Luckily I didn’t hit my head or anything. I came back around and went to hospital where they said the pills I was taking are well known to have this as a side effect. They were aggravating my stomach lining causing it to bleed which made my blood pressure drop, which was why I passed out.

 

Very scary when it happens.

Yeah that'll be Naproxen, does the job but can fuck you up

[omegod]

I'm getting circumcised next month. Just thought I would through that in. lol

 

Yeah, i'd stay away from any channel on sky starting with a 9 for a few weeks after that op, it's the only op that make me wince when I worked in theatre's . 

[bigfella2]

It was the first operation I saw when I started my training in theatres. Still remember it!!

[richardmorris]

Enough sharing already!

Oy vey!

[Parky]

The explorer Richard Burton disguised himself as an Arab in order to visit Mecca for the Hajj. Basically for a non believer that's like walking into a Millwall pub with a West Ham shirt on.

 

Despite his superb disguise and fluency in Arabic, Burton realised there was one feature of his body he couldn't disguise. Yup, that. And so with the cunning and bravery of the Victorian officer classes, he performed the op himself, on a dusty roadside with no anaesthetic.

 

Burton was a loony. When asked to investigate why so many soldiers were visiting the red light district of Cairo, he went to investigate and carried out in depth research of the available services. His explicit account of what you can do with a Eunuch saw him drummed out of the Army for indecency.

 

Buried in a Bedouin tent shaped mausoleum in Mortlake Cemetary. Proper legend

[madrat]

I'm hoping they only give me a local and if I ask nicely that they let me watch.

[xtriple]

Had to take some pictures of a watch for sale today, not a problem until I dropped the camera in the dogs water bowl. I got the pictures off it but now I have a phone that thinks the earphones are plugged in... I ain't got no bleedin' earphones ya daft sod!

 

I am a properly clumsy twat.

[madrat]

lol stick it in a bag of rice

[D Spares & Tyres]

It's 2018 not 1618 mate.

There's no end to the prick

[AlabamaShrimp]

I love Autoshite. It's the only place you can get advice about car related stuff or some random bloke having the end of his cock cut off

[madrat]

Hay I'm not random.

[DodgeRover]

.... you went there in person to hand them a letter?!

 

“Can I make an appointment for ASAP please?” would surely be faster/more effective than handing them a letter?

Have you tried to get an appointment with a Dr lately, our only book able appointment was over a month in advance the only other option is to physically go in and join the queue before opening time in the hope they don't book out before you get to the desk or ring at 8:30 and be 100th in the queue wait time of 30 minutes

[Kiltox]

Have you tried to get an appointment with a Dr lately, our only book able appointment was over a month in advance the only other option is to physically go in and join the queue before opening time in the hope they don't book out before you get to the desk or ring at 8:30 and be 100th in the queue wait time of 30 minutes

You don’t need to hand in a fucking letter though!!

[Tadhg Tiogar]

The explorer Richard Burton disguised himself as an Arab in order to visit Mecca for the Hajj. Basically for a non believer that's like walking into a Millwall pub with a West Ham shirt on.

Despite his superb disguise and fluency in Arabic, Burton realised there was one feature of his body he couldn't disguise. Yup, that. And so with the cunning and bravery of the Victorian officer classes, he performed the op himself, on a dusty roadside with no anaesthetic.

Burton was a loony. When asked to investigate why so many soldiers were visiting the red light district of Cairo, he went to investigate and carried out in depth research of the available services. His explicit account of what you can do with a Eunuch saw him drummed out of the Army for indecency.

Buried in a Bedouin tent shaped mausoleum in Mortlake Cemetary. Proper legend

His acting namesake, decades later, though known for his alcoholic exploits, probably wasn't quite a mad eejit.

[cms206]

Count yourself lucky madrat, unlike a lot of operations at least a circumcision has no drawbacks.

 

Sent from my SM-G930F using Tapatalk

[madrat]

Count yourself lucky madrat, unlike a lot of operations at least a circumcision has no drawbacks.

 

Sent from my SM-G930F using Tapatalk

That's why I'm having it done, have to give written notice at the moment.

[omegod]

I'm hoping they only give me a local and if I ask nicely that they let me watch.

 

I'd heartily not recommend it , I can still hear the sound of Mcindoe scissor/foreskin interaction to this day.  

[Jim Bell]

If anyone in future discovers blood coming out of any holes, both A&E or your local walk in (in an uncomfortable manner) centre will be happy to have a good look and a poke round. Ive tried both and the warmest finger award goes to the nice jnr doctors at A&E.

[Tadhg Tiogar]

 

That's why I'm having it done, have to give written notice at the moment.

  I'd heartily not recommend it , I can still hear the sound of Mcindoe scissor/foreskin interaction to this day.

Hire a mohel

[Coprolalia]

If anyone in future discovers blood coming out of any holes, both A&E or your local walk in (in an uncomfortable manner) centre will be happy to have a good look and a poke round. Ive tried both and the warmest finger award goes to the nice jnr doctors at A&E.

As an ex A&E jnr doctor I can confirm if you have any blood from holes it shouldn't we shall willingly have a good look and poke about. No enjoyment is taken from finger-orifice interaction, and we will sort you out post-haste.

[drum]

[somewhatfoolish]

Hire a mohel

 

Oy vey!

 

[D Spares & Tyres]

Mods:

 

Can you please give a definitive answer/ post to any future topics so as to avoid any discussions please. Topics need not be discussed anymore.

 

Thanks

[yellowperil]

It was never* an utter joy to start up my Yam TRX 850 with carbon cans each morning. I hate my neighbours.

I bet that sounded excellent... At any other time of the day.

 

I once had a very tuned 350lc, it was built as a race bike, but ended up being put back on the road instead.

 

It had the loudest expansion chambers ever and was really was grumpy from cold, you had to start it on choke and leave the choke on for about ten seconds before it would do anything.

 

Because the choke was on the carb, on the same side as the clutch lever, this meant holding the choke on with my hand, until it was ready to go.

 

At 05:15 it used to be the longest ten seconds of my (and no doubt, my nieghbours) day.

[stephen01]

​Looking to buy a scooter for no particular reason other than I want one. 50cc-125cc as I'd be a learner. Seen one on a local facebook group-  enquired about it, ok no MOT but not a sale stopper, asked for the reg as insurance seems to be a minefield, I've noticed this seems to make more of a difference on make than CC?? Anyway asked for the reg for insurance reasons and the seller refuses to give it to me because 'Don't give out the reg as ppl seem to copy them n use em’ ​Yes I would like to use it so I could get an insurance quote. Not sure what he'd do if I went and had a look at it, take the reg plate off? I've wished him luck with the sale -  it wont however be to me. 

[oldcars]

Road salt. Its like the fecking dead sea up here. 3 gritters rattled the 75 last night    Saw about 1 all the time we had MEGA SNOW. Had to pop to the jetwash to rinse it all off, the inner arches were white.

[eddyramrod]

I need to write a magazine column, so I came upstairs to do it in peace on my usual computer.  I've written a couple of paragraphs and my head's banging.  Game over for today, I think!