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The grumpy thread


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Posted

I went out tonight to see a Doors tribute band, supported by Egypt, a local band who are always tight.

That's not the grump, the grump was believing that because I was in Gorleston between Great Yarmouth and Lowestoft that an IPA called East Coast would be good...

It really wasn't, the east coast it came from was the east coast of America.

I am not an ale snob, but how can the Americans think they can make an IPA?

 

Even worse it was ice cold.

 

I finished it, somehow and went on to Vodka...

 

A good Tims was had by all... Eventually.

Posted

Proceed with caution on IPAs. 

East Coast is a high quantity Greene King brew, not worth my time really, nor is their other IPA (which only really is in name).

  • Like 1
Posted

Sodding police. No... let's be specific: "Transport Police."

 

Decided to pull me over because I "aggressively darted through a changing traffic light."

 

Like hell I did, I didn't accelerate, and my rear wheels were past the stop line when it started changing...also, what about the four - yes, four - cars that also followed me through, including the Audi who then nearly took off me offside rear quarter and took off down the road (30mph limit) at about 90?

 

Oh...of course, you saw an older car and thought you'd give it a tug to see if you could find something to nick me for. Sorry...I actually look after my car, so it's fine. I don't drink, so you can't get me for that, likewise don't do drugs. Sorry. No... you're not going to find any, no matter how hard you look.

 

Still meant half a bloody hour standing in the freezing cold though. Also pulled me over so bloody close to the junction that we nearly got taken out by about 50 cars still getting their lands in order coming into two out of the four off the roundabout...what was wrong with the car park 20 metres ahead?

 

Oh...a flash of the blues would have been sufficient to pull me over...diving around me and slamming the anchors on in front of me in an aggressive forced stop is utterly unnecessary.

 

Sure the British Transport Police have something better to be doing...

 

On the plus side, they found nothing to nick me for after all that...and they really were trying. Somewhat glad the Stanley knife was missing from the toolbox or they'd probably have deemed it to be a weapon.

  • Like 3
Posted

The fuck are the BTP pulling you for? They're the train police.

  • Like 1
Posted

I don't know what you're moaning about, I got pulled over by the BNP because my car is brown.

Posted

The BTP must have had no trains to arrest. They must have been very, very bored.

  • Like 3
Posted

Proceed with caution on IPAs.

East Coast is a high quantity Greene King brew, not worth my time really, nor is their other IPA (which only really is in name).

Greene King's IPA is so dreadful that it put me off drinking IPA for years. I do recall it being described as "Insipid Piss Awful" in the CAMRA magazine/newspaper about a decade ago, and I still think that that's still far too much of a compliment.
Posted

I got pulled by the BBC because I wasn't far enough to the left

 

Sent from my SM-G955F using Tapatalk

Posted

Obviously the coppers in question were living out their dream to be in the flying squad, was their opening line

 

"we're the BTP son and we havnt had our horlicks"

Posted

An actual traffic police officer in 2018 pulling someone over rightly or wrongly is ground to dispute your no drugs claim! That being said maybe they were the BTP and that's the reason they are never around to actually attend incidents on trains when you need them.

 

I do feel for you, having your time wasted while every other car driving past is someone that is on their phone is proper grounds for a grump.

Posted

I'm selling some large books on eBay at the moment. They cost £12.40 each to post. Ebay will only let me charge £9.50 and won't refund me the difference.

 

There's also the small matter of the insurance call back I'm still waiting on regarding the performance with my mirrored NCD.

 

Good job I don't need the van, innit, insurer?

 

We're up to nearly two hours' worth of calls on my mobile; I do hope it's actually sorted this out otherwise I pity the poor sod who gets me on the phone tomorrow.

Posted

I'm selling some large books on eBay at the moment. They cost £12.40 each to post. Ebay will only let me charge £9.50 and won't refund me the difference.

 

There's also the small matter of the insurance call back I'm still waiting on regarding the performance with my mirrored NCD.

 

Good job I don't need the van, innit, insurer?

 

We're up to nearly two hours' worth of calls on my mobile; I do hope it's actually sorted this out otherwise I pity the poor sod who gets me on the phone tomorrow.

I always put the price up and charge free postage, but maybe ebay are going to stop charging a final value fee on the postage . That is seriously unfair especially if they are dictating how much it should be. Paypal are putting their fees up again as well so it isn't looking good for the private seller, but as long as they look after the vat and tax dodging arseholes from China ebay don't care .

Guest Hooli
Posted

Ebay won't let you charge what you want for postage anymore?

 

Depends on the classification of your advert, they limit you on some.

Posted

They've been doing it for years, because some unscrupulous traders would advertise things at 99p, with high postage, knowing the eBay %age cut comes off the sale price and with postage excluded.

Posted

It's snowing like a bastard, so our heap of shit boiler has packed up again.

 

Pcb looks like it's gone again (4th one in 3 years) and to compound the misery, it's pissing water out of the sump plate. Whichever bright spark at Ideal came up with the design for this thing needs to be buried upside down in a bucket of pig bile.

 

Landlord has been informed, now we wait for the gas engineer to get here. Deep, deep joy.

 

Sent from my VKY-L09 using Tapatalk

Posted

According to the Twitter people the reason my local Tesco petrol station is closed from 8pm (it's restricted to kiosk opening hours) is because someone stole a not inconsiderable amount of fuel 'around four weeks ago' (more like the end of January), and they're 'looking into' extending opening to 10pm.

What a load of shit.

Posted

Sounds as though the condensate drain may have frozen.

 

Try pouring some hot water over it where it exits the building.

 

Ben

Already done. Apparently its just a piss poor boiler that was installed on the cheap for the old Warm Front scheme. They're renowned for packing up regularly.

 

Fortunately the engineer is well versed and is on his way with a new Pcb to try and fire it up again.

 

Sent from my VKY-L09 using Tapatalk

Posted

“Ideal" boilers - cheap shit much favoured by landlords!

Posted

It shouldn't be killing pcbs at that rate, isn't that indicating a fault somewhere else causing the pcv to fail as the weakest link?

Posted

You know when you're forced to confront that you might not be very bright? You know when you're looking in the mirror and you think to yourself, Wolf, Wolf me old chum, how do you get through life? How do you put one foot in front of the other without falling down a drain or stepping on a carelessly discarded unexploded munition? Wolf, me old China plate, how do you manage to get through life while being so obviously irredeemably dumb? I'm having one of those days.

 

8f3d0fd6739570a571b9a10e5df3e88e.jpg

 

Yeah, that's not the jacking point. The jacking point is about two inches further to the right.

 

b7ed9a5b305b9ba625773afb8659111a.jpg

 

edb81ec351552651943ebdd0302d9aa8.jpg

 

Also, I really wish that the first time I'd thought to myself "Wolf, your life would be much easier if you owned a trolly jack, you should buy a trolly jack" I'd bought a bloody trolly jack because it would have saved me a very embarrassing panicked call to my mechanic friend.

  • Like 2
Posted

When you was winding it up, didn't you hear or see that the jack was moving but the van wasn't going up?!

Posted

When you was winding it up, didn't you hear or see that the jack was moving but the van wasn't going up?!

Oh no it went up fine. I even made sure the jack was secure (which it apparently was). It just came back down again with an unpleasant noise when I'd got the wheel off.
Posted

Also slow puncture in a brand new tyre. And the washing machine is flashing "waterproof fault" at me. Today can get in the sea.

Posted

Still though, Wolf, sick name. ...

 

Could have been Heinz!

Posted

You know when you're forced to confront that you might not be very bright? You know when you're looking in the mirror and you think to yourself, Wolf, Wolf me old chum, how do you get through life? How do you put one foot in front of the other without falling down a drain or stepping on a carelessly discarded unexploded munition? Wolf, me old China plate, how do you manage to get through life while being so obviously irredeemably dumb? I'm having one of those days.

 

8f3d0fd6739570a571b9a10e5df3e88e.jpg

 

Yeah, that's not the jacking point. The jacking point is about two inches further to the right.

 

b7ed9a5b305b9ba625773afb8659111a.jpg

 

edb81ec351552651943ebdd0302d9aa8.jpg

 

Also, I really wish that the first time I'd thought to myself "Wolf, your life would be much easier if you owned a trolly jack, you should buy a trolly jack" I'd bought a bloody trolly jack because it would have saved me a very embarrassing panicked call to my mechanic friend.

 

This has got your name all over it. They do a 3 tonne version too.

 

Wolf%2BBlack%2BJack%2Bv2-.jpg

  • Like 5
Posted

Ever had a dog that unfailingly tries to shag your leg? My friend's Saluki does this to me every time I visit. Behaves perfectly with everyone else but, as soon as I show up, it's feckin' party time.

  • Like 2
Posted

Wife did this twice on her 500. In her defence you had to stand on your head to even find the jacking points.

Posted

Erm did I get the housing crisis thread canned?

 

Apologies if so... I can't find it now but haven't had a PM saying I've said owt wrong...

Posted

“Ideal" boilers - cheap shit much favoured by landlords!

They aren't the worst.

Grumps:

Ebay - selling various bits of stuff and just found out two of them didn't go further than opening 99p.

I've just started taking some new medication and realised I have been watching how much and when to take the new stuff, I might not have taken my old stuff (which I'm still supposed to take) for over two days, No wonder I'm grumpy. Old stuff also may have side effect of me putting on weight. I used to weigh about 68kg, I'm nearer 78Kg these days and look like I drink 6 pints a night in terms of body beer-gut shape. I hardly ever drink alcohol.

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