The grumpy thread

[clayts450]

Each time was a very ordinary-looking middle-aged woman

 

Sounds like you have a stalker. It was the same woman each time, right ?

 

Ah....

[SierraMikeHotel]

Sounds like you have a stalker. It was the same woman each time, right ?

 

Ah....

Hrm.

 

The person who hooted at me to get out of the way when I was walking along a pedestrianised High Street this week was also an ordinary looking middle aged woman.

 

You might be right.

 

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[D Spares & Tyres]

My grump today is my shite navigation skills,was set for only a 20 mile trip to the shithole of Redditch to fetch an exhaust pipe and tyre for my MZ (on my MZ). I had memorised what I needed,first roundabout go right,straight over next one,left at the third.So naturally I went left on the second one,ended up on a one way dual track,aborted mission and found my way home.Plus the weather was really pants,really wished I was sat in a warm car with a satnav!

Not your fault. Redditch is an awful place. I try to avoid it if at all possible. Too many roundabouts that are linked up with other roundabouts. I have a great sense of direction and can navigate anywhere easily but Redditch fucks with your mind. Same goes for Telford

[Skizzer]

This bloody job interview I've got next week is what's pissing me off today.

 

I've spend a couple of hours trying to write this damn presentation they want me to give. There is no way on earth anyone can write 10mins of bullshit about 'Your first 90 days in the role'. I'm just not going as anyone cuntish enough to put such a thing in an interview must be a cunt of a boss too.

 

What pisses me off most is I utterly hate my current job & I know I could do this one well. They've just made it impossible for anyone who isn't a bullshitting cunt to succeed when they apply.

Ok, here’s what I suggest you say you’ll do in your first 90 days. I’m assuming this is some sort of manager or team leader job here - if it’s screwing the tops on toothpaste tubes or being a lighthouse keeper then I agree it’s a stupid question, otherwise I think it’s fair enough.

I’ll spend the first 1-2 weeks sitting down with the people I’ll be working with to understand the business and them. I will use my ears and mouth in the proportions in which God gave them to me, 2:1, because I learn more that way.

 

I’ll meet with my new bosses too, to make sure I understand what they expect of me / my team and the goals of the business as a whole.

 

I will want to review the numbers. I want to see not just the financials but also quality measures, customer feedback and how our people are both performing and feeling. (We don’t measure those things? Well, maybe we can start, in the first 90 days.)

 

Then, based on what I’ve learned and working with the team, we’ll set out a plan for the rest of the first 90 days. From my experience this will be a mix of:

- simple changes we can make that will deliver small improvements quickly

- good stuff that we do that we should protect or do more of

- stopping doing some low value tasks that we do because we always have, or because we thought somebody else wanted them but actually they don’t

- a plan to make a plan - that is, how we are going to work out the longer term actions to get the [whatever bit of the business this is] where we want it to be

 

At the end of the 90 days I’ll want to get people together to review what we’ve achieved and learned, and how we need to tweak things as a result, because I’m all about trying things out and learning from them.

Obviously you can adjust this to suit the specifics of the job. And maybe it’s even actually a way to start the job if you get it - may even beat assuming your boss is a c***. Good luck.

[Crispian_J_Hotson]

^ blag.

[DeeJay]

 

Is there literally nothing else you could better do with your time? 

 

If ever a sentence matched the avatar.

[bub2006]

I've not said anything! (My name is Daryl..)

[DeeJay]

I did and I'm not.

[bub2006]

I'm confused now

[Skizzer]

^ blag.

?

[Guest Hooli]

Ok, here’s what I suggest you say you’ll do in your first 90 days. I’m assuming this is some sort of manager or team leader job here - if it’s screwing the tops on toothpaste tubes or being a lighthouse keeper then I agree it’s a stupid question, otherwise I think it’s fair enough.

 

I’ll spend the first 1-2 weeks sitting down with the people I’ll be working with to understand the business and them. I will use my ears and mouth in the proportions in which God gave them to me, 2:1, because I learn more that way.

 

I’ll meet with my new bosses too, to make sure I understand what they expect of me / my team and the goals of the business as a whole.

 

I will want to review the numbers. I want to see not just the financials but also quality measures, customer feedback and how our people are both performing and feeling. (We don’t measure those things? Well, maybe we can start, in the first 90 days.)

 

Then, based on what I’ve learned and working with the team, we’ll set out a plan for the rest of the first 90 days. From my experience this will be a mix of:

- simple changes we can make that will deliver small improvements quickly

- good stuff that we do that we should protect or do more of

- stopping doing some low value tasks that we do because we always have, or because we thought somebody else wanted them but actually they don’t

- a plan to make a plan - that is, how we are going to work out the longer term actions to get the [whatever bit of the business this is] where we want it to be

 

At the end of the 90 days I’ll want to get people together to review what we’ve achieved and learned, and how we need to tweak things as a result, because I’m all about trying things out and learning from them.

 

Obviously you can adjust this to suit the specifics of the job. And maybe it’s even actually a way to start the job if you get it - may even beat assuming your boss is a c***. Good luck.

 

That's great cheers.

 

It's not a team leader etc roll at all, which why I can't see the point of this presentation. I'll never do presentations in the job. The job is Networks Specialist so just working in a small team.

[Crispian_J_Hotson]

Let's see your ideas then fella.

 

What I meant was it's a good example of one... People are looking at me in this cinema now... Must turn brightness down...

[Skizzer]

That's great cheers.

 

It's not a team leader etc roll at all, which why I can't see the point of this presentation. I'll never do presentations in the job. The job is Networks Specialist so just working in a small team.

In that case I wholly agree the presentation thing is a crock of shit. Good luck with the ongoing job search...

[somewhatfoolish]

That's great cheers.

 

It's not a team leader etc roll at all, which why I can't see the point of this presentation. I'll never do presentations in the job. The job is Networks Specialist so just working in a small team.

Give a presentation on the subject of how pointless it is to ask prospective IT wallahs to give presentations at interview.

[Tadhg Tiogar]

I forgot I saw this on the back of a Ronnie Pickering yesterday. I don't get it. It's like saying I'm a dick that panics at everything.

 

Yeah they could but then the sky could fall in.

 

20180126_152517.jpg

 

If the child isn't wearing a seatbelt, it could well need medical attention in the event of the vehicle stopping suddenly.

[Hendry]

Only if the fault is attributable to a fake part being fitted.

Does depend if the fault means a whole unit replacement, they don't like taking them back as they can't harvest the fake parts. But if it's a same unit repair, and the fault isn't because of the replacement part, instructions are to crack on.

 

There's no warranty seals on them. You can open it up as much as you like and still get warranty repair.

 

I had a 4th gen Ipod touch when they were first out that used to randomly jump out of safari, they didnt even attempt to repair, they just gave me a new one, they did it another twice when the replacements did the same, and I thought how much money must they be making on one of these if they can just dish out 3/4 replacements without attempting to even repair.

 

I remember a chav coming in claiming his phone wasnt working, they checked it and said they wouldnt fix it as it was damaged, he had spilled coke on it or something they could see from looking down the charging socket etc. but would take his phone off him and give him a brand new replacement for 150quid. No idea how they made money on that.

 

But I would say on the whole apple customer service is amazing and a lot of companies could do well to take a leaf out of their book. 

[Pillock]

iPads are sealed, they're always swapped in store and sent back.

iPhones have two moisture pads visible from the outside, if it's liquid damage they class it as catastrophic damage and now don't offer an exchange but might have been different then. If it's just faulty or smashed out of warranty there's a flat rate exchange price.

 

Yea, their customer service is pretty good. We're a repair agent for them so if there's any questions you head off to their live chat and 99% of the time they just tell you to replace a device or rectify the fault FOC, they almost always side with the customer.

[purplebargeken]

Hooli, you have a PM. 

[stonedagain]

People who walk around like zombies, staring at their phones, totally oblivious to everything around them. I was parked up in my works car park, drinking a mug of coffee, when one of the phone zombies walked straight into the back of my car! How difficult is it to see a fucking land rover right in front of you, in broad daylight?

[sierraman]

I wouldn't buy apple as long as I live.

[Mr A Lawrence]

ive just finally ended my apple connection by selling my ipad2.

 

now fully androided up!!

 

may have a lost* iphone3 kicking about somewhere with many many photos on it. 

[DodgeRover]

If I jail break my old iphone 4 is there software available so I can just use it from Linux rather than dicking about with iTunes?

[Noel Tidybeard]

Not your fault. Redditch is an awful place. I try to avoid it if at all possible. Too many roundabouts that are linked up with other roundabouts. I have a great sense of direction and can navigate anywhere easily but Redditch fuck with your mind. Same goes for Telford

 

ahh you obviously dont know "the secret"

[Crispian_J_Hotson]

Don't know if it's grumpy or a grin but in order to get to my mig I had to empty the shed bit of the house which is a converted old walkthrough, front to rear... and this turned into a ' if it hasn't been used in the last year it's going' type operation. I am going against all my ''that'll come in handy one day' instincts because now at work they chuck bigger bits of stuff than I have hoarded... Electricals, cables, board, MDF, paint, hinges, tiles, lighting, 'projects'... I've filled a Wheely bin up with useful stuff I've never needed.

 

On the flip side, the plan is to turn the space into what I always intended it to be... A teeny tiny workshop. Wood and wires out, metal and car parts in. I will get to use the workbench I put in there 4 years ago!

[andy18s]

We like to keep our migs handy in the garden...

[richardmorris]

People who walk around like zombies, staring at their phones, totally oblivious to everything around them. I was parked up in my works car park, drinking a mug of coffee, when one of the phone zombies walked straight into the back of my car! How difficult is it to see a fucking land rover right in front of you, in broad daylight?

Woman this morning in swinley forest, staring down at her phone managed to stop dead on the middle of the bike trail where the footpath crosses it. Then was very startled when twenty bikes went past shouting at her.

[chaseracer]

^ BLOODY CYCLISTS, THINK THEY OWN THE.......

 

Ah.

 

[Pillock]

If I jail break my old iphone 4 is there software available so I can just use it from Linux rather than dicking about with iTunes?

Probably best in the techy thread for ongoing help, but the short of it is you don't need to use iTunes at all, and I wouldn't bother jailbreaking an iPhone as you miss out on numerous important security updates.

[Cheggers]

"Oooh I love my chicken balls and my chow mein..."

 

Every single time that bloody advert comes on I have to fight the urge to throw my TV into the harbour.

 

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[Slartibartfast]

"Oooh I love my chicken balls and my chow mein..."

 

Every single time that bloody advert comes on I have to fight the urge to throw my TV into the harbour.

 

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I ditched cable at the beginning of last year and went internet only. We stream using a combination of Netflix, Amazon, youtube, torrents and Kodi. Saved money, stopped watching dross and I can't remember the last time I saw an advert (YouTube ones excepted). And I never have to watch another bloody episode of QI on Dave ever ever again ever. Well worth considering IMO