The grumpy thread

[Pillock]

If nobody can prove whether the €500 note is real, tell him it's fake and he had better do one before you call the cops.

[HillmanImp]

You did right, I tried fitting my new mudguards to the MTB last night, and I've only got the back one on and it's cabletied in places because they don't come with all the screws and all my spare stuff is up in Yorkshire. It reminded me of why the roadbike's mudguards are still on top of the Imp in the garage, two years after buying them.

I have no excuse though, these are "easy" MTB ones. In fact i should go out and get them on now before silent witness comes on again.

 

No doubt it will be a massive ballache.

[EssDeeWon]

Finally gave in and ordered a new phone, some stupid touch screen apple POS.

 

Its arrived and the charger is faulty.

 

Stick it back in the box and carry on with trusty old push button phone...

[chaseracer]

It was zero hours contract so I think he can...

 

Depends.  If the relationship is such that you have had regular work - and had a reasonable expectation that this would continue - then you can claim 'employee' rights, including the right to a notice period and not to be dismissed unfairly.

 

http://www.acas.org.uk/index.aspx?articleid=4468

[dave21478]

Hand the cash back, make use of the French version of "fuck off", then contact the real buyer to collect.

What's the chance he is a mate of the garage owner and has spoken to him ?

 

 

If nobody can prove whether the €500 note is real, tell him it's fake and he had better do one before you call the cops.

 

 

FFS. I have just sacked off the imposter and arranged to get his money back to him and now the original buyer isnt answering. 

 

I will see whats what tomorrow as its getting late this evening, but the imposter is now sending messages offering more money and to swap out the big note for smaller bills.

 

 

Reasons I wish I were rich, number 473...... I could just crush cars I wanted rid of, or leave them at the bottom of the garden or something instead of dealing with the general public as buyers.

When the Escorts time is up, its definately getting cubed.

[mercrocker]

With you there Dave numeros.....People suck at the best of times but when they are buying cars (especially off me) AAARGGHGH. 

 

My grump today is trying to get hold of MY OWN BLODDY MONEY....

 

Been trying for nearly 24 hours to extract what is mine out of Paypal.....Couldn't log on, could get on via Ebay but as soon as I got to the bit about withdrawing,  bleeding INternet Explorer crashed AGAIN.   Tried it on Mrs Rockers phone which cacked itself and then wouldn't let go of my password.   Until I took the battery out and lost all HER settings.   Finally managed it by using my smashed up old Acer with the cracked screen which involves squinting at it like Marty Feldman.   Jesus fucking wept.

 

Decided to go to town and do the charity shops.  Put my card in the bank machine, fucker gobbled it with NO explanation.  Needed it to get some petrol on the way home so QUEUED in the bank for half a bloody hour whilst some old bat queried £9.78 on her fucking Christmas Club account only to be told "Sorry you have to come back tomorrow if we find you card in the machine".   Yeah, bloody IF like I am making it up or "confused".   Well fuck you Mr Barclay I might just as well change to NatWest where you can actually get in the bloody door and stand some chance of getting served before my next dental check-up.

 

Came home with about a pint of petrol in the car, absolutely exhausted with the frustration of it all and had a bloody good fry up before counting to 25 and ringing up for a new bank card.    And, exhale............Still not allowed near Mrs Rockers phone, though.

[strangeangel]

apple POS.

 

 

This was your mistake IMHO, £50 Chinese droid FTW.

[Pillock]

 

 

Well fuck you Mr Barclay I might just as well change to NatWest.

Change to First Direct and they give you £100. And they were giving you another £100 if you change away again because you don't like it.

 

It's all online and phone service but their call centre is spot on and I've never been in a queue, the switch service worked exactly as promised and if you need to pay money in you use a HSBC branch.

[Mr_Bo11ox]

Id tell impostor man to do one. If he's misleading you about who he is before he's even seen the flippin car, gawd only knows what else he has up his sleeve. Just flippin hassle innit. If he's gone to the bother of tracking you down why not just knock on your door, explain he's keen and has got cash, you're pretty unlikely to tell him to do one are you. But turning up and trying to pass himself off as someone else (when its almost a fuggin certainty that you're gonna rumble him before he's taken the car) suggests he's a fuggin grade AAA+++ chancer. LOOK MATE IM JUST TRYING TO SELL A CAR, I DONT WANT TO BE PLAYING FUGGIN MIND GAMES, JUST FUCK OFF AND BOTHER SOMEONE ELSE WITH MORE ENERGY EH

[fred]

I am now 50 percent into my long term project of being the Idle Rich

 

I passed with flying colours at the Idle section, not doing so good right now at the Latter - Bummer  any hints ?

[Slartibartfast]

What if the second guy is the fake?

[LC Torana]

...make use of the French version of "fuck off"...

 

That's a disdainful sneer and a Gallic shrug, isn't it?

[Eddie Honda]

and a 500 euro note. I didnt think it through at the time

 

(£350+ in one bit of paper didn't cross your mind?) 500 yoyo notes are the 50 quid note of the Eurozone. No fucker touches them. 100 yoyos are rare enough. 50s common as.

 

Given it's huge face value, it's probably the note that isn't high on the forgers favourite list. It's easier doing 20s or other lower denominations that won't get a second look.

 

I'm not having a go at you though. Some years back got some bureau de change money and didn't think too much about the 10000 Belgian Franc note in the wad (c. £170). Managed to split it open early doors for a round in the pub though.

[bub2006]

Why the hell am I awake at this hour? Nodded off at silly o clock woke up even earlier

[dave21478]

That's a disdainful sneer and a Gallic shrug, isn't it?

Sadly, you cant blow cigarette smoke in someones face over the telephone.

 

 

 

(£350+ in one bit of paper didn't cross your mind?) 500 yoyo notes are the 50 quid note of the Eurozone. No fucker touches them. 100 yoyos are rare enough. 50s common as.

 

Given it's huge face value, it's probably the note that isn't high on the forgers favourite list. It's easier doing 20s or other lower denominations that won't get a second look.

 

I'm not having a go at you though. Some years back got some bureau de change money and didn't think too much about the 10000 Belgian Franc note in the wad (c. £170). Managed to split it open early doors for a round in the pub though.

 

You are totally right, but I was slightly overwhelmed by the apparently easy sale, so never really thought it through.

 

 

Anyway, The original guy sent an email last night saying he will call this morning, so hopefully thats still on.

 

If not, fuck it, it can sit at the farm for another 6 months until I work up the energy to try again.

[dave21478]

Well, the original buyer has been in touch and will apparently collect next week.....He only wants the engine for his own, but is happy to buy mine for a stock of spare parts, then crush the rest.

 

The imposter has gone silent. I have a grand of his cash sitting here and frankly its just as well I am semi-honest.....

The post office do a cash transfer service where i can pay it in here and he can withdraw it wherever he lives.

 

The more I think about it, the more I am glad he didnt get it as he seemingly wants to do it up and see it back on the road, but if he is willing to pull this sort of shite then fuck knows what else might arise down the line. France has some odd laws about used car sales and condition. Not worth the risk.

[Cheggers]

There's something distinctly fishy about this whole imposter/ buyer thing...I have no idea what, but I suspect there's more to it than meets the eye.

[scaryoldcortina]

A mate of mine has had the imposter trick pulled on him before, he has a shop and also sells on ebay.

 

Basically, someone rang the shop within minutes of the ebay auction ending, claimed to be the winning bidder, paid by visa over the phone and got it posted to him. That evening, the winning bidder paid by paypal.....

[quicksilver]

Apple POS indeed. Our students use iPads as part of their course materials and the bloody things are a pain in the arse. So far we've had 3 students who have created a password and then forgotten it and locked themselves out. The only way to reset the iPad is by using iTunes but there's some policy restriction on the staff domain that prevents it from working so our only option so far has been to swap the locked iPad for a new one and we've run out. Now I have to install an enormous piece of junk software on my personal laptop and try to prevent it syncing my music to these students' iPads just so I can unlock them - why the fuck is a music player necessary to do a password reset?

 

And Microsoft can do one too. Personal devices aren't allowed on the wi-fi network unless the OS and antivirus are fully up-to-date so I tried to check for Windows Updates and it says "Error 80244019: Windows Update ran into a problem". How uselessly vague is that - how about telling me what actually went wrong FFS?

[Bobthebeard]

Apple POS eh? No bother with Windows 10 then? I am still here using a four year old iPad whilst Mrs Beard is laptopless owing to Windows shenanigans.

[scaryoldcortina]

And Microsoft can do one too. Personal devices aren't allowed on the wi-fi network unless the OS and antivirus are fully up-to-date so I tried to check for Windows Updates and it says "Error 80244019: Windows Update ran into a problem". How uselessly vague is that - how about telling me what actually went wrong FFS?

 

You should try Playstation error messages! Favorite one is "An Error Occured"

[quicksilver]

You should try Playstation error messages! Favorite one is "An Error Occured"

Now that's informative. As a developer myself bad error messages are one of my biggest bugbears and wind me up enormously thanks to my days as a helpdesk technician with only meaningless messages like "This program has encountered a problem and needs to close" to help me diagnose what happened. It shouldn't be difficult to write proper error messages so can they not be bothered or do they think users won't understand?

 

A personal favourite from a piece of tape backup software was:

 

 

The SDS is reporting an error accessing the SDI.

Explanation:

The SDS is reporting an error accessing the SDI.

Action:

The explanation field doesn't explain anything and action field is blank so what am I supposed to do? Even worse, nowhere is there a definition of the SDS and SDI so it's impossible to find out what those things even are! On my personal scale of error message quality that one scores a big fat minus eleventy thousand.

[HH-R]

Microsoft error messages have been downhill ever since they removed this from early versions of Word (if it thought you were Warezing it)

 

[scaryoldcortina]

[quicksilver]

<Homer Simpson>"Vent radioactive gas? Yes/No?" N.O. "Venting prevents explosion". OK, vent the stupid gas.</Homer Simpson>

[anonymous user]

along with, press any key, where's the any key?

[HH-R]

"I see c'tarl..."

[Pillock]

I did phone support for Packard Bell back in 2000.

 

I sometimes still refer to colon as "the double dot key"

[jakebullet]

I has new driveline noise on the disco. If it ever stops raining I will investigate, but I'm guessing it's either last mots wheel bearing play advisory, or front propshaft knackered. Either way kerching

[Rusty_Rocket]

What Disco' do you have JB? If it's a Disco 1, wheel bearing play is very common and easily adjusted or cheaply replaced. Do you grease the prop' UJ's?