The grumpy thread

[Pillock]

Try @googlemail instead of @gmail. You still get the email but some forums haven't banned them.

 

Or set up a tenminutemail just to register. You'll never get notifications and can never get a password reset but it does let you verify your email. I use that service a lot for forums.

[beko1987]

That sounds bloody awful. I do dislike major charities. More and more, I'm less inclined to support them. Lots of smaller charities out there that don't come out with this sort of tripe. Or employ chuggers.

Me too. Does make me laugh when I see signed contracts from the big ones at our work for £250k plus for distribution of junk mail. Even more when I see a print invoice because royal mail has fucked up and they want compo, another £3-400k for print and fulfilment, all for 3 months worth of doordrop. Those pens cost 36p each to make and deliver, each pack costs roughly 75p, and thats with discounts for charidee from all sides (except us, we arent that kind)

[beko1987]

Locally we have chugger tins on shop counter, normally for one of the big ones plus the local dog centre. Big ones are empty, dog centre ones are overflowing with £2 coins etc. I know where I chuck my unwanted change

[Bren]

I got ambushed by a chugger in WH Smith in Southport working for the RSPCA.

 

We are a family of animal lovers, however for some unknown reason I absolutely tore the poor chap a new arsehole - normally I am the last person to be like this (even though I am plod I don't think I have an attitude problem and nobody has said I have), I think it was anger at being asked to sign up a DD as a one off donation was obviously not enough.

 

I felt a tad ashamed afterwards.

 

 

I am sick of the corporate front that that everything seems to have nowadays - even bastard charities.

 

I do a small amount for Marie Curie - at least the money goes to where it is needed and is not wasted on fripperies.

[chaseracer]

Many of the people I represent work for charities.  As employers, they can be... variable...

[RobT]

I was hoping for a massive tinkering session today, but I've been told the spare room needs clearing out combined with some trips to the tip. It's not worth the grief sometimes so I've had to capitulate. I might nail the tip idea on the head though, as every other bastard around here will be doing the same.

[the judge]

Love it,you bastard!!

[MarvinsMom]

you are a very bad man, a very, very bad man

[Noel Tidybeard]

I work in a city centre full of charity collectors. Fresh ones are sent in pretty much daily and they attempt to bother me all the time, I absolutely love it as I just use it as a massive social experiment with people who are unlikely to hit me. Don't start swearing at them, do things they won't expect, it's great fun.

 

- Ask them if they want to go out with you. I've done this in various forms from being a really sad creepy man "please, I really love you" to cheerfully asking "fancy a bunk up?". This is the best one, because usually they'll just immediately stop talking and look annoyed, but often they'll awkwardly try to talk their way out of it. It's the best.

- If they ask how you are, tell them in great length about how horrible your life is. Go on about your trip to the doctor. Go on about the death of your fish. Go on about how you've no friends and how you're the first person to show interest in weeks and it's great for you to speak openly about it. Don't let them change the subject.

- Reach out as if you're going to give them a handshake, but instead give them things from your pockets you no longer want, then silently walk away. I gave some guy a load of dead AA batteries once, he didn't know what to make of it.

- Look very troubled and ask them if they know where the police station is. Tell them it's very important, because you don't know when you'll do it again. Stare at your hands.

- Say that whatever the charity is doing isn't a good idea and it'll only compound the issue in the long run. Tell them to "think about it". This works particularly well if there's no real logic as to how it'd work at all. Refuse to explain yourself, just talk in riddles.

- Greenpeace ones are a good laugh. Tell them you help out with the environment all the time, giving out really misguided stories about how you "helped". Like the time you collected a load of flytipped waste around a canal path and then had a great big bonfire with it. Or the time somebody had dumped a load of drums of used oil down the end of your road and you went out of your way to pour them down the drain before taking them to the tip.

- If they ask you your name, give out the ones of celebrity killers. I've previously got away with Peter Sutcliffe and John George Haigh. I haven't tried John Gacy yet, but I'm awaiting my chance.

 

It's great seeing their youthful energy drain away as they fail to rack their brain for prepared responses and flail around wondering what to do. Basically just have some fun with it. You'll probably never see them again.

you made my cry you motherflipper

[jakebullet]

Unlucky!! Cold sores are also known as kissing disease.

 

We know what you've been doooing neh neh!!

 

It didn't develop fortunately. N yes I have.

 

Also discovered just about every filthy fantasy I have she likes as well. I'm not too sure I like her idea of dressing me as a woman for strap on action. Maybe give that one a miss.

[beko1987]

Fucking vauxhalls. Doing lower balljoints, which are going ok, and drop links. One side has just started spinning the whole inner bit, with the nut on the end as well. Sacking those off today, but I presume Ill need to cut them off somehow and bash the remains of each part out?

[Lacquer Peel]

Fucking vauxhalls. Doing lower balljoints, which are going ok, and drop links. One side has just started spinning the whole inner bit, with the nut on the end as well. Sacking those off today, but I presume Ill need to cut them off somehow and bash the remains of each part out?

 

Some ARB drop links have a square bit on the inside to counter hold it with a spanner, if not you could get a decent set of mole grips to hold the inside.

Otherwise grinder.

[michael1703]

Some take a T27 spline tool

[beko1987]

Yep, my mate found the flat bit, both are changed! From not knowing about spanners, he is doing damn well!

[RobT]

I was hoping for a massive tinkering session today, but I've been told the spare room needs clearing out combined with some trips to the tip. It's not worth the grief sometimes so I've had to capitulate. I might nail the tip idea on the head though, as every other bastard around here will be doing the same.

I take it all back, as having a clearout was quite therapeutic, and the tip was half empty as we did three runs during lunchtime. So I've definitely earnt a few hours late afternoon tinkeridge! Might have a go at bleeding the brakes on the Daimler.

[scaryoldcortina]

 

- Ask them if they want to go out with you. I've done this in various forms from being a really sad creepy man "please, I really love you" to cheerfully asking "fancy a bunk up?". This is the best one, because usually they'll just immediately stop talking and look annoyed, but often they'll awkwardly try to talk their way out of it. It's the best.

 

 

I was in Gateshead a couple of weeks back searching the shops for an affordable set of jumpleads. The reason isn't important but involves a Honda Accord. Wilkos didn't have any, Argos had some for £10.99 that were only available online or £34.99 and in stock. I was looking for Tesco. I was also in a hurry and a bit lost because they've totally redeveloped the whole trinity square/interchange area since I was last there.

 

Anyway, because I was distracted I didn't connect the female voice shouting "hey, dreads!" with a charity worker at all, and had a brief chat about the benefits of never brushing your hair with her instead of just walking away. As soon as she started to talk about Shelter, I tried the "I'm really busy right now, but I'll talk to you later about it" tactic except I messed it all up and asked for her phone number and if she fancied a drink later.

 

I got a phone number! Well, I got 11 digits on a bit of paper at least. It went straight in the next bin I passed because I think I've been married longer than she's been alive and would like to stay that way.

[beko1987]

Hit a pothole on the drive back from fixing amys car, hears a crunch and sees some shit bouncing up the road behind me. Cue the rest of the drivr back with a tighter arse...

 

All seems fine, so I must have chipped a chunk off the pothole and sent it scattering, but thoughts ranging from "im sure I counted all the tools back" to "fuck has the wishbone fallen off" went through my head.

 

Had a good look, all seems fine thank fook, beer time!

[EssDeeWon]

Going out for my GF's birthday tonight, we usually just jump on a train into town, costs hardly anything and takes less then 10 minutes into Southend...

 

But not tonight, she is demanding a taxi cos its her Birthday night out..

 

FFS, so thats gonna be about £25 for a return trip into town that'll cost roughly about £1.50 in diesel.

 

Hate using cabs and having to partake in all the bullshit small talk, then pay for the privilege !!

[Craig the Princess]

On a narrow boat holiday in Yorkshire. So far we have met about 10 of the most miserable people ever (including the three narrow boat hire people). It is almost matching Keswick in the lake district for misery.

[purplebargeken]

I had a head injury in 2005 after being hit on the head by a bus. This resulted in memory loss/problems which affect me still. I was at that point married to Mrs. PBK, so she is fully aware.

 

If this is the case then why the fuck does she tell me to sort my memory out? That really does fucking irritate me. 

[D Spares & Tyres]

I decided to take my lad to the Severn valley as he is fixated with steam trains

 

Turned out to be the only diesel weekend of the year...

 

So busy too...

[Sigmund Fraud]

If this is the case then why the fuck does she tell me to sort my memory out? That really does fucking irritate me. 

 

Well... There's only so many times that you can use the old "sorry dear, I forgot I wasn't supposed to buy any more cars" excuse

[Pillock]

Imagine going for a date with a chugger.

They'll probably be making a note of your card number as you paid the bill.

[chaseracer]

I decided to take my lad to the Severn valley as he is fixated with steam trains

 

Turned out to be the only diesel weekend of the year...

 

So busy too...

 

"Tornado" next Saturday...

[wuvvum]

My washing machine has just shat itself.  Drum mounts are completely gone and it's banging around so badly on the spin cycle that the drive pulley is snagging on the case.  I might see if it was repairable but the programmer is on its way out too.  I shouldn't really moan as I paid 40 quid for it secondhand about 8 years ago, so I've had more than my money's worth, but I could have done without the expense of replacing it at the moment.

[MrDuke]

Not only did Mrs_Duke somehow persuade me to spend actual money on an over-hyped piece of 'fitness' equipment last week (albeit 2nd-hand, although my eyes still watered) but I'm actually finding myself using the damn thing on a regular basis. It's called a Vibrapower Disc, and is basically a pedestal which see-saws at ever increasing frequencies until various parts of your body start threatening to detach themselves or rend themselves asunder. To my extreme annoyance, not only does it seem to be toning my leg muscles, but my cardiovascular shizzle appears to be improving, just like the stupid vacuous farts on the TV adverts said it would.

 

I know it's a weird grump, but I am slightly cheesed off that it's actually working, and anyway it makes more sense than whining about hipsters or Ronnie Pickering videos.

[Station]

My shower, a Triton T80, only stays on for 5 minutes before switching off. It's a common fault on these shit shower units.

I have to time myself everytime I have a shower (ie every morning or night), and it's a frustrating mission everytime.

[cobblers]

My shower, a Triton T80, only stays on for 5 minutes before switching off. It's a common fault on these shit shower units.

I have to time myself everytime I have a shower (ie every morning or night), and it's a frustrating mission everytime.

 

Does it go cold or just stop altogether? There's generally not a lot to showers, if it just turns cold then you've probably got a crappy overheat thermostat on it, our triton had the same. The wires are on ring terminals so I just bypassed it. I also put the temperature knob on wrong too, so now the shower can work as an instant boiling water tap if you want, which makes it ideal for blasting stubborn skidmarks off the bog.

 

You can buy a new thermostat for about £5 but all they do is stop idiots turning it onto full max heat then standing under it til their skin falls off so you might as well just bypass it.

[Craig the Princess]

Cobblers you sound like you know a lot about showers, could you diagnose another broken Triton?

 

Our one is normally ok but maybe once or twice a week after a couple of minutes goes really hot even when turned down to one. It used to do this only when it was really hot outside but now in all weathers.

 

Thank you.

[D Spares & Tyres]

"Tornado" next Saturday...

Tempting but any old steam train is fine with him!!

 

I forgot to mention he wanted to go to the seaside also

 

But it was too far for a day trip so we went to Chasewater last week as it has a beach and waves too if they are waterskiing. Also wanted to go on the railway there but it was closed that day....

 

Poor lad, how difficult can it be to see a steam train????