The grumpy thread

[outlaw118]

Got this today....

1) What do these people want?

2) How did they find me?

 

Let's begin ours e-mail acquaintance?!!! As you already know, that mine

Name Tasha. But it not my true name, it my nickname in

The Internet. My name Tany. Certainly, I love more, when me

Name Tasha because so I name close people.

I want, that you sent me also some photos you.

Agree, what it is more interesting to communicate and receive a photo?

Will be Remarkably to have your photo on my computer,

and to look at you More often. I will wait it.

It is a pity, but I really have few photo on my computer.

I will try To thicket to please to you with new photos.

Well? I will send some photo with this letter.

Inform me necessarily comment. Do not hesitate,

Because I love compliments!!!

I am assured, that I wish to learn you better!

I will tell to you not much about me. I not

I go in for sports at leisure because it is my second work.

Certainly, I love sports and itself very sports person. In the free

Time I like to walk in park, for me the season and weather is not important.

I think that employment this very good and useful to health.

Sometimes it is necessary to have a rest from dirty city air and to leave on the

nature!

Sometimes when it turns out, I happen on picnics to my girlfriends on the nature.

I love animals. Especially I love cats and dogs.

I have three dogs which live on my summer residence.

In cold time they live at my place. You love cats?

Right now on my knees I sits

Cat Tomis also helps me to write you the letter:)) It will be good, if you

Tell to me more about your hobby? You like to read

Books? You prefer what literature? I love detectives and books about

Psychology. Well, I think, that I will stop to write this letter. I think that in

Following time I will tell to you more about my family and about why I search

Relations on the Internet! It will be interesting to you to learn it? If it is

interesting That I will necessarily tell to you it.

I hope, what it was interesting to you with me?

 

 

Please write only to my personal e-mail: btatylenka@yahoo.com

 

 

I wish the good and sated day!

Tasha.

 

 

 

 

I mean, what the feck???!!!

[pogweasel]

How do they find you is the easy one - imagine an email address being like a really big tumbler combination lock - constantly rotating the combinations, starting at "aaaaaaa@aaaaaa.com" and running through every combination to "zzzzzzzzz@zzzzzzzz.com', somewhere in between is you. An automated programme can run through thousands of potential combinations a second.As to 'why', well it's probably just a lure, a trap - you will write back saying 'bugger off you nutter', which confirms back to the originator that they got a successful hit, and you're then on some shady database for life. Expect 1,000 offers of Viagra and big dick cream to arrive daily.

[Father Ted]

Expect 1,000 offers of Viagra and big dick cream to arrive daily.

I coud do with some big dick cream.

[VWPowered]

lmao

[pompei]

A few years ago I got one of these e mails purporting to be from some gorgeous Russian Olga, photos, lets be friends, type of thing.Having some time on my hands I decided to amuse myself by writing back - let's see how many e mails it'll take until the "send me some money for a visa and passport so that I can come and visit you" message came. About three days later got the "I'm in love with you" email. Took about a week for the money request. I told a friend about this who showed me a "beware of the scam" website with this "woman" on it, with copies of the standard e mail replies to the gullible recipients. Big business it seems I left it for another week and then got an email asking why I had not been in touch. Wrote back to apologise for not writing as I had been in an accident. I'd been run over. By a Lada.No more "I love you's" after that

[r.welfare]

PRIZE E-BAY TWUNT.I bought some (shoddy, Chinese) front foglights on behalf of a mate for their Mk4 Golf some months ago. They don't have any instructions, and an auto electrician suggested they would be "fun" to fit, so we didn't bother and I re-listed 'em last week. Went for £26, two Sundays ago.Anyway, didn't receive any PayPal so after a couple of days sent an invoice, like you do. Then I get a message a couple of days after that, saying "Haven't heard anything, can I have a contact number?". Why do you need my number? So resent the invoice, then another message saying "can I call you?". NO. So then I get one back saying "I'll pay by PayPal next Monday (i.e. yesterday)".WTF? So, yesterday rolls around and, hey hey surprise, no payment. So I send an e-mail last night, along the lines of "pay up in 24 hrs or I'll relist and report you to eBay for non-payment".90 minutes later I get the most blatantly false "OUT OF OFFICE" response it's not true (with a quality kicker - an e-mail signature stating "Family Solicitor" under the person's name and the name of a firm of solicitors that doesn't seem to exist in Leicester, where they are from). So I've sent another e-mail saying pull the other one and restating my terms...Now, I've got 1008 feedback and 100% positive too, so no doubt this nurk is going to give me a neg and I can't give one back. But it's boiling my piss.

[Father Ted]

If you can score a NPB strike before he leaves feedback, then he can no longer leave feedback - if you get one after you can get it removed - long process, but it can be done.Oh remember my ebay muppet who threatened that she was a policewoman? Well in the end I thought fook it and sent all the relevant corespondance and a covering letter to the police. They went round to give her a bollocking and arrested her on a "separate matter" so fook knows what she was up to. Gave me a lovely warm feeling inside though.

[r.welfare]

I'm gonna go through the NPB route at close of play today if I don't get payment.Also noticed that she gave feedback to another seller at 2.05 this morning, so surely if she can get access to eBay when she is "Out of Office", she could pay me via PayPal...

[Guest]

Oh remember my ebay muppet who threatened that she was a policewoman? Well in the end I thought fook it and sent all the relevant corespondance and a covering letter to the police. They went round to give her a bollocking and arrested her on a "separate matter" so fook knows what she was up to. Gave me a lovely warm feeling inside though.

That's the best eBay story ever, I don't think anyone off here has had anyone arrested before. Top work!

[Mash]

post deleted

[Cavcraft]

Dickhead: 'send me your number, I'll call you later about the car'.Me: Ok, but don't call between 7.40pm and 8.00pm as I'll be driving missus to work and by the way I don't answer witheld numbers'.Anyone want to guess what happened at 7.44pm?I think he's left an answerphone message now but I won't be listening to it.

[MrDuke]

So after being without the interwebnetzz for over a month (well, I had internet, but only for 30 seconds at a time, which at remote mountain-top connection speeds won't load one page), after numerous pointless phonecalls to f**king Virgin, after replacing all my cables, trying another modem, trying my modem on someone else's PC, trying to get the f**king modem drivers to work in Linux, pulling my phone socket apart, etc etc etc...They finally run a 2-minute test, which must've cost them at least 20p to carry out, and told me my phone line was bad. Result: my phone company fixes it within 48hrs. Thanks for wasting weeks and weeks of my cyber-life, you useless bunch of cretinous turds, next time do the f**king job I'm paying you for.And WHY is there STILL a half-scale replica of the Grand Canyon taking up the full width and half a mile's length of MY f**king ROAD? Apparently, despite the recent construction of a £3 million cyclepath beside a nearby A-road that no-one would have the slightest reason to ride along anyway, they can't afford to re-lay the ONLY route between my house and anywhere else at all.That is all.

[Guest]

Oh remember my ebay muppet who threatened that she was a policewoman? Well in the end I thought fook it and sent all the relevant corespondance and a covering letter to the police. They went round to give her a bollocking and arrested her on a "separate matter" so fook knows what she was up to. Gave me a lovely warm feeling inside though.

That's the best eBay story ever, I don't think anyone off here has had anyone arrested before. Top work!

Mr Bickle must have got close.

[pompei]

Blessed young people with the double distraction whammy of ipod and phone. Nearly ridded the world of one with wires from its ears texting into its phone whilst walking straight out into the road ... GRRR A good blast of the horn seemed to restore observational faculties...

[Cavcraft]

VERY recent one:'On way to see your van'One and a half hours later they arrive. In an 05 plated Transit with high sides and a beacon on the roof. Both have shorter hair on the sides and a sort of mop top above that. Alarm bells ring.'How much do you want for it?'(Tell them price).'The engine's knackered*, how much do you want for it?'Told them a price.'Not worth that, the engine is knackered* and you won't get another one for love nor money'Oh well, thanks for coming anyhow.'Bearing in mind the engine is knackered* how much do you want for it?'Told them bottom price and that I wouldn't take any less.'Nah, we don't want it the engine's knackered*' *Engine not knackered.

[Mash]

Why do people on bikes ride on the road when there is a cycle path running for miles on the adjacent pavement?Why do people run down the road? I suspect a gym/park/field/path would be much safer.Why are there pedestrian crossings on the exits to roundabouts? GR8 4 BEING REAR-ENDED.Why can you no longer use coins in village telephone kiosks?Why is there feck-all on TV any more?

[chester drawers]

Why do people run down the road? I suspect a gym/park/field/path would be much safer.

Because there are two horses on the pavement and two more in the road, all four of which are being ridden in parallel. And there’s no pavement on the opposite side of the road for me to use either. So me and the olympic-speed cyclist are forced onto the centre marking lines. What really annoyed me was the dirty look from one of the riders whose horse flinched when I passed it. Since you ask, the local [unstaffed] park is now full of smackheads. Largely because the Chief Executive of The Local Authority feels the need to add the Groundsman’s meagre salary to his own in the interests of efficiency. Gyms? Overpriced and full of pretty vacant people, so no thanks.I won’t run on pavement-free roads though. And I regularly swear at people who do. And yes, cyclists on a road narrowed especially for them are very annoying. If I was King etc. And so to bed…

[retrogeezer]

To follow on from that....Horses being ridden on roads....why??Are there not enough friggin green fields to ride them in? It's not like they are being used to 'go' anywhere or pull anything.Dangerous too in my opinion.

[Rocket88]

All horse riding [and cycle riding for that matter] spods should have compulsory third party insurance, a competence test, and their horse/bike checked before it's allowed on the roads. In the past, I've had two "incidents" with our horse riding fraternity, both of which have ended up in extreme unpleasantness. As for the red light jumping spandex fools, don't get me started............

[Pillock]

Oh remember my ebay muppet who threatened that she was a policewoman? Well in the end I thought fook it and sent all the relevant corespondance and a covering letter to the police. They went round to give her a bollocking and arrested her on a "separate matter" so fook knows what she was up to. Gave me a lovely warm feeling inside though.

The win!Can you not find out why she was arrested? Surely once charged it appears in local rags and stuff so it's no longer confidential. I just like my mental image that they went around for a bit of a chat over some (no offence) petty little eBay spat, and found her with a wheelbarrow full of drugs or something.you've made me chuckle on a bad day. thanks

[Justin Case]

To follow on from that....Horses being ridden on roads....why??

Possible explanation. I spend most of my spare time in the deepest countryside and the bridleways all have the horsey equivalent of the nettles up to your armpits which cover all footpaths and mean you have to walk on the roads Don't get me going on the lycra louts either. The only law of the road for them is Newton's Law of Motion which states that you go on at a constant speed regardless of cars pedestrians, horses, stop signs, red lights or anything else A good rant before 9 am, this looks a promising day

[M'coli]

Why do people on bikes ride on the road when there is a cycle path running for miles on the adjacent pavement?

Because the cycle path's an afterthought by the clowncil to fulfill their obligation to build cycle paths. I know of at least 2 near me that I won't go on on my road bike because I'll end up pitched over the handlebars because the mini-roller wasn't used to keep it smooth, another where the tarmac's been scarred by the machine building it, and if it's icy, I tend not to use them at all because they don't get treated. Tough shit you might say, just use the cyclepath, but I thought the idea was to make my journey safer and more pleasant, not more unpleasant and dangerous than riding on the road.PS I don't jump red lights - yes, I will just go and polish my halo, thank you.

To follow on from that....Horses being ridden on roads....why??Are there not enough friggin green fields to ride them in? It's not like they are being used to 'go' anywhere or pull anything.Dangerous too in my opinion.

Because the riders of these are self-important posers who are utter, utter, utter selfish cunts and should all be confined to the asylum. I have no problem with horses, lovely looking handsome animals, have their purpose etc., but the owners and riders I have very little time for. E.g., they want us to pass them on their cuddies slowly so as not to scare the beast etc., but then will happily run you off the friggin road when they're towing their bastard horse box.Pass the mayo and where's the French Fries...

[retrogeezer]

Sometimes you have to go on roads to get from one place to another

Isn't that what pain in the arse horse boxes are for?And if you can't keep a horse in/next to a big enough field to excercise it properly - don't buy one!And another thing, why is it o.k to let the things shit all over the road? I know it's mostly hay but it's still shit.

[outlaw118]

More spam today....... Current Folder: INBOX [bobannematt@blueyonder.co.uk] composeaddressesfoldersoptionssearchhelpsign outMessage list | Delete Previous | Next Forward | Forward as attachment | Reply | Reply all Subject: REGARDSFrom: "WILSON SIMWA" Date: Wed, June 17, 2009 3:59 pmPriority: NormalOptions: View full header | View printable version | Add to addressbook | Block sender | Add sender to allow listCompliment of the day.I will like you help us transfer 12.8m,Please do CHECK ATTACHMENT,you will find the DETAILS.Please do give me a call if interested.Wilson Simwa.Tel: +27 73 995 6682Download this as a fileAttachmentsuntitled-[1.1] 0.1 k [ text/plain ] download | viewLETTER FROM WILSON.doc 34 k [ application/msword ] download*********************************************************Yeah, I'm gonna reply to that....do you want my bank account details? Of course!!

[Father Ted]

Plumbing fixtures.Hot on the heels of changing the flex pipe fitting to the hot water tap on the bath (previous one had colapsed leading to diuretic dribble when tap switched on) in zero space and with tap spanners of assorted sizes that eitehr didnt fit, or fit but could not be turned... Comes the 30 year old dribbly Torbeck cold water tank valve.So after several episodes of water pishing out the oerflow and me stripping the valve, cleaning and reseating whilst I searched for a new washer I decided to buy a new valve - only can I find a supplier for a new Torbeck side entry cold water tank valve? Can I fook. And the washers that they supply now are totally differfent to the one in the 30 year old example I have - so off to B&Q and purchase a Flowmaster side entry valve, similar affair to the Torbeck - strip Torbeck, fit new Flowmaster, notice that 1/2" thread spins when trying to tighten nut from cold water supply - clamp with stilsons, tighten nut phone wife (who is 3 floors below by the stop cock - she turns water on new valve blows apart soaking me and loft in water - screaming down phone "turn it off for fucks sake woman" in the meantime she has gone to answer landline phone.....Strip and repeat above with more PTFE tape than you can weild a stick at ( I usually use Boss White - but this time I used tape). turn water on - slowly..... Only slighly doused this time as 15mm coupling spurts like a teenager with his first copy of Razzle..... Scream profanities - rip Flowmaster out throw accross loft, clean and refit Torbeck and take flowmaster back to B&Q - today I have purchased £4.49 worth of tradiotional brass ball valve fitting and whilst I may be looking at washer replacement every 5 years I at least know I can tighten the bastard cold water feed pipe up without the thread distorting.Fr Teds Plumbing Skool Tips - Use fucking Speedfit where possible.Oh and fit in line isolation valve to cold water tank in loft....

[ayd]

what is it with people today and impatiencePhone call at 9.02 this mornigI ordered something yesterday and it's still not showing as shipped...Checked his order, it was ordered at 11.37PM thats PM last night, you know those hours, there the ones where I'm normally on my XBOX or fast asleep.told him it'd ship today and be there tomorrow and got the response of 'well thats just terrible service'?????WTF????Grow a bit of common sense you retard, 11.37PM last night, of course no ones going to be here to process your oh so important order as people need cocking sleep, combine the fact that couriers don't normally collect at that hour of the night and the fact that you are not that fucking important and go and fuck yourself, once you've done that please re-enter the REAL WORLD and begin again.RANT OVER

[seth]

their horse checked before it's allowed on the roads.

How would you persuade one on to a rolling road to check the brakes?

[Father Ted]

their horse checked before it's allowed on the roads.

How would you persuade one on to a rolling road to check the brakes?

Probably he means something like "big & brown? - Check. Four legs? - Check. Swishy tail thing? - Check. Looks like Fern Briton? - Check - probably a horse then"

[Mr_Bo11ox]

what is it with people today and impatiencePhone call at 9.02 this mornigI ordered something yesterday and it's still not showing as shipped...Checked his order, it was ordered at 11.37PM thats PM last night, you know those hours, there the ones where I'm normally on my XBOX or fast asleep.told him it'd ship today and be there tomorrow and got the response of 'well thats just terrible service'?????WTF????Grow a bit of common sense you retard, 11.37PM last night, of course no ones going to be here to process your oh so important order as people need cocking sleep, combine the fact that couriers don't normally collect at that hour of the night and the fact that you are not that fucking important and go and fuck yourself, once you've done that please re-enter the REAL WORLD and begin again.RANT OVER

LOL, i would leave it a day or two before shipping it now.

[Rocket88]

their horse checked before it's allowed on the roads.

How would you persuade one on to a rolling road to check the brakes?

Probably he means something like "big & brown? - Check. Four legs? - Check. Swishy tail thing? - Check. Looks like Fern Briton? - Check - probably a horse then"

Ah, fair point...what I MEANT to say was that the horse didn't throw off it's rider and bolt across 3 lanes of traffic at the rustle of an empty crisp packet 4 counties away.......................