The grumpy thread

[jakebullet]

I just love being mental.

 

Went to doctors on Friday. Hello quack, a year ago you promised I would be assessed for aspergers. I'm still waiting. What gives? 

Oh, right, I'll get somebody to chase that up for you.

Ta.

 

Today. Ring ring. Quacks wanted me to ring you about your assessment for ADHD.

Er, I don't have ADHD ??

Yes you do. They're very busy assessing ADHD people and it will be another year. Thanks, bye. CLICK!

 

So now what do I do? Go back and see doctor doom again? Say fuck it? Go stand on a bridge and threaten to jump as that's the only way they take you seriously?

 

Answers on a postcard.

[HillmanImp]

 

 

Dear Sir,

 

I am keith farrugia from malta and I'm interested in buying the GT6. What would be the final price? I will arrange for collection and for shipping into Malta (that is not a problem).

 

Thanks and I look forward in receiving your reply.

 

Regards

Keith

 

Yeah righto Keith. 

 

I have had a few interested parties in the GT6 but they have all been scared off by the 'work to do' photos, so I have set about hacking it to pieces outside with the plan to lash it back together and MOT it and sell it then instead as it will be more appealing with 12 months ticket on it.

[Cavcraft]

Don't worry !  30 years ago it was possible to buy microwaves with no turntable, they were the cheaper ones without FLASH EXTRA BITS. You just have to turn the food around occasionally or find the sweet spot that heats evenly. 

 

Be honest, it was a record player and your sister's hairdryer, wasn't it?

[fred]

Think I died 3 days ago, and Im in that Bruce Willis 6th sense bit. where nothing really happens to me, and fuck all goes on. nothing has happened to grump, smile, or anything else to mention. So thus Im assuming Im dead

If no one can read this, this affirms my thoughts ....

[vulgalour]

That sounds a lot more like Victorian middle class ennui than death.  Similar symptoms, but totally different ailments.

[Albert Ross]

Sorry.. what? I thought I heard summat. Mother?

[Volksy]

So this happened yesterday. Pulling left into a parking space in Tescos, a silly cow decided to undertake me and subsequently stuff her VW UP! into the side of my works Crafter.

Problem is, I'm working up in SVMland and need to drive myself, a member of staff and most of the event equipment back that afternoon. Seems in the shunt the wheel took the brunt of the impact, so a bent track rod, strut, and rather clunky steering rack means that the van ends up being recovered and I have to hire a van to get back. My van is needed in three days for another event, and it seems it's still in Scotland. Fucksticks. 

 

 

[fairkens]

That's rubbish at least there'll be some decent cctv to show what happened

[Cavcraft]

GO HOME IONA

[Cavcraft]

This is my 9th day of trying to buy a pushbike that's 3/4 mile from my house.

[320touring]

This is my 9th day of trying to buy a pushbike that's 3/4 mile from my house.

Day 10 should see you invoke the ghost of Fagan

[dugong]

I've just moved to Chester and can't sell my pushbike.

 

REALLY ANNOYED.

[Cavcraft]

LOLZ

[oldcars]

So this happened yesterday. Pulling left into a parking space in Tescos, a silly cow decided to undertake me and subsequently stuff her VW UP! into the side of my works Crafter.

 

Problem is, I'm working up in SVMland and need to drive myself, a member of staff and most of the event equipment back that afternoon. Seems in the shunt the wheel took the brunt of the impact, so a bent track rod, strut, and rather clunky steering rack means that the van ends up being recovered and I have to hire a van to get back. My van is needed in three days for another event, and it seems it's still in Scotland. Fucksticks. 

 

 

photo 1.JPGphoto 4.JPGphoto 3.JPGphoto 2.JPG

Up driver to go to prison, even if its only for that shite plate.

[Mr_Bo11ox]

Agree, the plate alone is enough to tell you all you need to know about the dozy old boot

[cort16]

Seeds in grapes. What's the point unless I want to grow a vinyard, which I don't?. Science defeated the seeded grape years ago so why sell them? I  nearly choked on the flippin seeds as I gleefully wolfed down what I think is a seedless grape in the safe grape zone category.

[UmBongo]

Illegal plate equals retard alert!

[barefoot]

Fucking postman.

I am convinced the bloke waits for the very moment I nip out for milk or similar and then promptly arrives, fails to be able to get it through the letter box and unlike every other delivery outfit on the planet, cant leave it with any of the countless elderly, retired folk in the street, cant leave it in my garage and lock it up behind him but insists on taking it back to the post office where I cant collect it for 24 hours.

If he's not doing this, he stuffs a card through to tell me I wasn't in when I was.

I'm a nice bloke, I get on with most folk. Most of the posties will leave it somewhere for me, but not Bob the parcel.

My question is; how can I persuade him to leave it somewhere helpful?

Or, how can I irritate the cock until he wants to smash everything of mine into a million bits?

Or something constructive

[bub2006]

Bonnet release cable snapped on punto. Could I hell as like get to bolts holding catch down and cable had snapped bonnet side not near catch. Resorted in using a crow bar to pry up leading edge of bonnet. Now have a creased bonnet and a bit of cable hanging down to pop it open. A journey to Albert looms beckons.

[Cavcraft]

Bonnet release cable snapped on punto. Could I hell as like get to bolts holding catch down and cable had snapped bonnet side not near catch. Resorted in using a crow bar to pry up leading edge of bonnet. Now have a creased bonnet and a bit of cable hanging down to pop it open. A journey to Albert looms beckons.

 

 

It'd be cheaper to pay £4 and (potentially) win a complete car.

[Noel Tidybeard]

It'd be cheaper to pay £4 and (potentially) win a donor car.

FIFY

[bub2006]

To be honest I am tempted but also very broke. The bonus is though cav is your car is a 5 door so I could strip it and put sunroof,bonnet etc on my motor and weigh in the rest

[AlabamaShrimp]

Arse! What again started out as a small hole below the indicator turned into this with a little poking. Didn't help I kicked the bottom of the wing sitting down and it's all popped away from the front panel.

 

[cms206]

I bloody hate funerals.

[vulgalour]

Funerals are shit, that's why there's alcohol at the wake.

[Cavcraft]

I had to go on something called a 'bus' today. Is it the law that of the other passengers one has to smell of piss, three look like the kind of people who'd stab you to death with a blunt elastic band and about 53% of them have snivelling colds and coughs? Also ONE POUND AND NINETY PENCE to go a couple of miles.

[PhilA]

Fanbelt $5.19

 

Shipping $5.39

[jakebullet]

The road round the back of the house is single track. I drop the Ma off at the wider bit, and then I have to reverse to get into my parking bit. My idiot neighbours think it's a top idea to drive to 1/2 inch from my rear bumper and lean on the horn. So I stick it in reverse and wait for them to move out of my way so I can park. Dozy bint doesn't move a bastard inch, just starts leaning on the horn more in a don't squash my kia shitbox sort of way. Fine. I move forwards and as close to the edge as I can. They then play squeeze down the side, windscreen full of conifers because it's not wide enough for 2 cars. More horn, more evil eye. Stupid bitches.

 

TL DR:

Kia picantos are driven by fuckwits. (my sister has 1 too. QED).

[beko1987]

Was playing with the slop in the accelerator pedal stuck in traffic on the Bypass earlier and managed to pop the clip off...

 

Luckily the traffic was crawling anyway so I carried on with tick over aiming for the layby further up. Traffic started moving...

 

Bumped up onto the verge, got out, round to the passenger side, laid over the seats and clipped it back in. Then I took several months off the front tyres by doing 0 to 45 in about 3 seconds to rejoin, once joined the traffic stopped again.

[Tayne]

 

 

 

Oh dear, there you were minding your own business in your van when Bang Bang, the Dark Lady drove into you.

One By One, you counted the broken components and realised you were a Prisoner up here in SVM land.

If I Could Turn Back Time I'd have stopped this happening.

Hopefully the hire van will be a Dead Ringer (for your van) as you have Many Rivers To Cross to get home but be wary of leaving your van.

A band of Gypsies, Tramps & Thieves might strip your van for parts, Just Like Jesse James.