The grumpy thread

[whitevanman]

You do know that 0845 and 0870 numbers are charged at your local call rate, right?

Yup, thats why the last coloum has freephone numbers where available, but I mainly posted it to avaoid the dreary music and endless "please select from the following options"

[dollywobbler]

Ah, but at least with the average speed cameras, you get the fun of laughing at the imbiciles who go tanking through the roadworks and slam on the brakes at every camera. Clearly the word 'average' is lost on some people...Downside is that everyone else does 45mph in a 50 zone, though this does allow me some overtaking chances. I trust my Sat Nav rather than the speedo, and reckon 52mph is probably fine. (actually, I've no idea what speed they get you at actually - not willing to test it either!)

[Conrad D. Conelrad]

Computers again My sister asked me to sell her old laptop on eBay. Normally, I'd zero the drive and reinstall Windows, except I have lost the recovery discs. If that wasn't enough on its own, while I was converting some Publisher documents into a Mac readable format, the damn keyboard stopped working. Celeron M, no keyboard, no OS, no battery, and a bunch of cosmetic damage. I don't think this is going to sell for as much as she hopes.

[whitevanman]

Computers again My sister asked me to sell her old laptop on eBay. Normally, I'd zero the drive and reinstall Windows, except I have lost the recovery discs. If that wasn't enough on its own, while I was converting some Publisher documents into a Mac readable format, the damn keyboard stopped working. Celeron M, no keyboard, no OS, no battery, and a bunch of cosmetic damage. I don't think this is going to sell for as much as she hopes.

2 curly wurly's and a bag of wine gums for it??

[Pillock]

Peter: What lappytop are we talking?It's very rare for keyboards to just stop working without some external influence - i.e. a can of lager, dog wee or similar.Often just taking the keyboard out, unplugging, plugging it back in works just fine.

[Slaighty]

Yes.I've just got back home from a quick Lancashire > Kidderminster > Gloucester > Worcester > Lancashire collecting mission.The fuggin M6 is absolutely alive with roadworks, all covered by average speed cameras virtually all the way from the M5 to Leyland. This did not Please me at all.I've been through those M6 "roadworks" today.One solution is a motorbike? Those average speed cameras are forward facing so all the bastards would get would be several photos of my ugly boat.

[Conrad D. Conelrad]

Peter: What lappytop are we talking?It's very rare for keyboards to just stop working without some external influence - i.e. a can of lager, dog wee or similar.Often just taking the keyboard out, unplugging, plugging it back in works just fine.

It's a Compaq Presario V4000. There was no external influence - I'm the only one who's used it in a year. The keyboard's dead in Windows, the BIOS screen and while using a Linux live CD. I tried removing it and plugging it back in, but it's still dead. It doesn't really matter, I'll just flog it spares or repair. A completely dead one just sold for £55, so we might be lucky.

[trigger]

Tonight i did one of my more stupider things and have ended up blooded for it.I work at a large container port in Suffolk and i drove a large crane with 16 wheels loading and unload containers from lorries and tugs.Tonight i was asked to park my machine at the end of the quay as it needed some repairs and that someone was on there way to collect me.So i waited, and waited and waited, after nearly 1/2 hour of waiting i decide to ask one of my work mates if they would might gantrying me up the quay under his crane a bit so save me walking in the 1 1/2 miles back to the car park.So the guy gantry's along the quay with me in the checker cab underneath him traveling at about 7-10 mph, I see a manager heading up the quay to collect me so i call my mate in the intercom telling him I'm hopping off now, So i jumped off, Underestimate the speed it was going, find i can't run that fast and end up barrel rolling along the quay like a sack of spuds right in front of this managers Focus.I now feel like a right twat doing it in front of him and have two holes in my new Dickles work trousers and no skin left on my knees and a nasty stinging feeling.What a bellend.

[seth]

Do you mind if I quote that and post it in the antidote/what made you laugh thread?Sorry.

[trigger]

Feel free Seth, everyone else has been taken the piss out off me! It was quite funny to be fair!

[dollywobbler]

Nasty. I fell over quite badly in 2008 after tripping over a cable. First time I'd had a bad fall since I was a nipper! I'm sure it didn't hurt so much back then. Guess I'm heavier now...Picking grit out of your knee and hands is not much fun, but better than my gran roughly scrubbing the dirt out when I was young! "It's for your own good!"

[Milford Cubicle]

I am grumpy and slightly disturbed about a woman I know, and her son.

She's fairly deranged, she drives herself silly making a fuss and loves the attention when her animals are ill.

One of her dogs died from "drinking bleach". How the fuck does a dog drink bleach, out of a bottle? Why would it?

Now her son has drunk from a bottle of disinfectant. He confused it for Ribena apparently.

 

 

 

That'll be right.

 

I think she might have Munchausen syndrome or something like that, and I'm not sure the social services are aware of her sheer mentalism.

WTF should I do?

[Guest]

I think she might have Munchausen syndrome or something like that, and I'm not sure the social services are aware of her sheer mentalism.WTF should I do?

Wait till she goes out for the Domestos main course and blow her pilot light out?

[Autoplas]

I'm sure it's been on this thread recently, but I'll re-iterate....

ROAD WORKS WITH NOBODY WORKING!!! AVERAGE SPEED CAMERAS!!!!

 

Drove from home (Grays, Essex J31 M25) to Cannock yesterday, and had to put up with unattended roadworks in at least 4 different location, M25 between J28 + 27, M1 (can't remember, but two sections) and The M6 up to J11 or 12, no-one working in any of them.

"Speed limit to protect workforce" it said....there wasn't one!!!

 

Mind you, did the homeward journey in 2hours 15 minutes, thats with obeying the speed limits...(cough)...

Volvo V40 T4...GR9 4 croozin'

One word........BOWLACKS !!!!!!

[RedSparrow]

I am grumpy and slightly disturbed about a woman I know, and her son.

She's fairly deranged, she drives herself silly making a fuss and loves the attention when her animals are ill.

One of her dogs died from "drinking bleach". How the fuck does a dog drink bleach, out of a bottle? Why would it?

Now her son has drunk from a bottle of disinfectant. He confused it for Ribena apparently.

 

I think she might have Munchausen syndrome or something like that, and I'm not sure the social services are aware of her sheer mentalism.

WTF should I do?

I would definately report her to the social. That is seriously worrying - too much of a coincidence.

I am pretty sure you can report people anonymously now.

And tell the RSPCA too.

[Milford Cubicle]

I'll get on to them, it's really bothering me.

[sporty-shite]

I am grumpy and slightly disturbed about a woman I know, and her son.

She's fairly deranged, she drives herself silly making a fuss and loves the attention when her animals are ill.

One of her dogs died from "drinking bleach". How the fuck does a dog drink bleach, out of a bottle? Why would it?

Now her son has drunk from a bottle of disinfectant. He confused it for Ribena apparently.

 

I think she might have Munchausen syndrome or something like that, and I'm not sure the social services are aware of her sheer mentalism.

WTF should I do?

I would definately report her to the social. That is seriously worrying - too much of a coincidence.

I am pretty sure you can report people anonymously now.

And tell the RSPCA too.

Definitely. They can investigate, and take the necessary action. Don't feel guilty, you'd feel far worse if you kept schtum and someone got hurt.

[whitevanman]

This forum and its current direction... can we go back a bit and start again...PLEASE !!!!

[barrett]

This forum and its current direction... can we go back a bit and start again...PLEASE !!!!

I think it'll pass, give it a week. on the upside people seem to be posting lots more old tat topics to compensate!

[Cavcraft]

Can't you confuse a baseball bat with a hug and go round and give her a good 'cuddling' one day?

[retrogeezer]

I'm sure it's been on this thread recently, but I'll re-iterate....ROAD WORKS WITH NOBODY WORKING!!! AVERAGE SPEED CAMERAS!!!!Drove from home (Grays, Essex J31 M25) to Cannock yesterday, and had to put up with unattended roadworks in at least 4 different location, M25 between J28 + 27, M1 (can't remember, but two sections) and The M6 up to J11 or 12, no-one working in any of them."Speed limit to protect workforce" it said....there wasn't one!!!Mind you, did the homeward journey in 2hours 15 minutes, thats with obeying the speed limits...(cough)...Volvo V40 T4...GR9 4 croozin'

Went down the M6 from Junc 16 to the M42 turn off on Saturday and back home again last night up the same stretch (obviously!)It is virtually all 50mph limit for the 40 odd miles and there was no-one working on Sat or last night.To top it all off, they have literally hundreds of high powered lamps lined up either side of the road and all of them were on illuminating the fact no-one was working.

[CIH]

Yup i went down the M6 sunday evening and NOT A FUCKING SOUL.

[j-j]

Yup i went down the M6 sunday evening and NOT A FUCKING SOUL.

It's the same story at the construction sites of the M74-M8 join up (after over 40 years unfinished)project. 50mph limit in force at times where not a single worker or vehicle is on the constuction area.Luckily - no speed cameras here. Everyone still rags past at 70+

[Mr H Sceptre]

Just been watching Wheeler Dealers, they (well, Ed China) did up a late model MKI Range Rover. On seeing it finished, that wanker Brewer commented that it looked like it had just rolled off the production line at Longbridge.Since when have Range Rovers ever been built at Longbridge?Cretin.

[barrett]

Just been watching Wheeler Dealers, they (well, Ed China) did up a late model MKI Range Rover. On seeing it finished, that wanker Brewer commented that it looked like it had just rolled off the production line at Longbridge.Since when have Range Rovers ever been built at Longbridge?Cretin.

Maybe it was a very subtle joke regarding the quality of Ed's work?Oh wait, Mike Brewer said it....

[Mr H Sceptre]

Just been watching Wheeler Dealers, they (well, Ed China) did up a late model MKI Range Rover. On seeing it finished, that wanker Brewer commented that it looked like it had just rolled off the production line at Longbridge.Since when have Range Rovers ever been built at Longbridge?Cretin.

Maybe it was a very subtle joke regarding the quality of Ed's work?Oh wait, Mike Brewer said it....

[Tayne]

".

[sporty-shite]

[Have something to eat whilst Ed's bit is on.You don't want to peak too early.

Too late for that, I'll be absolutely shitfaced by this point!

[warren t claim]

....Another drink when he does his piece to camera in front of a buyer and says "Wish me luck".What are all these extra Sky programmes anyway? Are they the ones that show endless loops of "Dig Your Own Grave With Tommy Walsh" and "Extreme Fisting With Robson Greene"?

[pogweasel]

"Extreme Fisting With Robson Greene"?

LOLTIMATE ROFL.