The grumpy thread

[bub2006]

Someone offered me 150 for my metro vanden plas. The fact that he wants to trike it and would sell all parts off it for 300 at least Is a pisstake.

[HH-R]

Being single on Valentines used to bother me, but I couldn't care less now. Someone on Facebook put a picture of a romantic afternoon tea they had and there was a pic of a scone with an inch of cream in it, so I treat myself to a Valentines scone. I like presents from myself, I always get the right thing... living the dream eh

[M'coli]

 

Re Gorgeous Metro GTA

Foamer link, please.

 

 

Difficult, I believe it's a memebers only part of the forum, but here goes:

http://www.metroownersclub.org/forum/viewtopic.php?f=30&t=17956

 

Or, paraphrased:

It's a 5-door 16v GTA with 21000 miles and steelies.

"I am tempted by this and the low mileage but why a new ecu on such a low mileage car, and why are the arches rusting"

"would want to see a good service history folder before offering any cash though"

"Judging by the interior carpets probably not cared for in a loving way"  Fuck off!!!!  It's been used, not pampered!

 

Again, the council of rivets are out to complain about a car that looks not too shabby at all for something that's 24 years old, and to critisise an owner for not having their own high standards.

Is it a fuckin crime to these people to simply own a car to get you from A-to-B? The more I read of this shit, the more I fancy throwing odd-coloured mk3 doors and tailgate at my mk1 shell and a TUD engine and box out of a Saxo under the bonnet...

[HH-R]

That GTa is a BARG. 16v too!

[HH-R]

You'd think people on a Metro forum would know that the ECUs on these do bugger up. I reckon it was knackered on the one I had, it used to rev to about 3500 RPM by itself, a common fault.

[purplebargeken]

I fear there may be something wrong.

 

I have no interest whatsoever in the Triumph 1500FWD, the Volvo needs an MOT but I can't be faffed. The Toledo hasn't been looked at in months.

 

WTAF?

[HillmanImp]

I like presents from myself, I always get the right thing... living the dream eh

 

Fuck I'm horny

 

So am I!

 

Brilliant!

 

Should we get kinky and watch some porn?

 

Yeah lets. What sort of porn do you fancy?

 

Its a bit weird but I really like fat Asian babes....

 

Me too! How greats that!

 

Brilliant, lets fire it up.

 

Can we have a scone at the same time?

 

Fuck me that's just what I was thinking!!!!!!!

[HillmanImp]

I spent the day decorating BTW whilst Mrs Imp sort of helped by spilling paint all over the floor. No fat Asian babes and scones for me.

[AlabamaShrimp]

Hope this makes up for it

 

 

 

Was a hard task to find a fat asian girl with Google image search so I gave up

[xtriple]

2nd Valentine on my tod. 1st one through choice.

 

Difficult to be honest, don't want to go out with any women (even though I know loads and could) just want to be with my wife. But, I can't be, so it's all bollox! We were together a long time and she is the 'perfect' woman so I know I'll never find anyone else like her... so what's the point in looking?

 

So Phoebe was/is my Valentine. I bought her: Jumbones, custard creams, and steak for her dinner. She, bought Chester the same (strangely) and they both seem VERY happy with the arrangement! I bought myself sweet F.A. 'cos I couldn't be arsed.

 

Shame it's not Christmas, I could have said : 'Bah Humbug!'

 

:)  

[jakebullet]

I have blisters on my hand. Not from valentines wanking, but from drill & tap 60 pool balls in a row. You would think I'd learn, last time this lot wanted 60 I thought next time they ask double the price or tell them to get to fuck it's not worth it.

[Station]

You want parts for that metro, there's a complete GTa in A1 in Ellesmereport in the same colour.

[cms206]

I never had much confidence around the ladies, eventually, at the age of 30, I decided it wasn't going to happen and basically gave up even trying. Then one of my mate's exes jumped on me...

I was similar... didn't really have much confidence at all. Got fucked about a lot. Gave up. Aged 25, at my best mate's papa's funeral, got talking to his little sister after meeting her for the first time in about six years. Sat up all night chatting a lot of shite. Ruined the seats in my diesel Mondeo. Getting on for three years later we're still together.

 

As for this year's Valentines day we got each other absolutely nothing, because in her words "it's all a lot of shite".

[M'coli]

I read that as "Ruined the seats in my diesel Montego" - I knew you had a Montego, but a diesel one? That would have been too good to be true!

[dollywobbler]

Nice one CMS. Sounds like your good lady has as much respect for Feb 14th as Mrs DW. If I bought her flowers, she'd chuck a fit. I spent the day playing with Japanese trucks.

[steve_earwig]

You pulled at a funeral? Well, circle of life and all that.

 

I think mistaking the word Mondeo for the word Montego probably means you have shite on the brain

[Richard]

Just the steak then.

[cms206]

You pulled at a funeral? Well, circle of life and all that.

It's easier to say that as a response to "Where did you two meet?" than the actual answer of "I met her when she was 10" which is a bit rapey. Especially considering I'm 6ft 3in, hairy and a bit heavy and she's 5ft, blonde and thin as a rake which already makes it look like I've abducted her.

[HillmanImp]

Yeah, my exes family were at a party at my house once and were quite vocal in their dissaproval of the age gap between us as I was 25 and she was 18.

 

It completely ruined our 8yr anniversary.

[Alan_Green]

Yeah, her relatives should've just stayed home rather than turn up at the 8th anniversary party and moan that she is still only 18.

 

PS. The rule for the youngest acceptable lady age is half the man's age plus 7 yrs.

[drum]

For the past twenty years, I've received a Valentine's card from a secret admirer. So, I was pretty pissed off when I didn't get one this year. First my granny dies, now this?

[hairnet]

on m60 near bury earlier - it doesnt go anywhere much like m25

 

so why are the matrix signs telling me theres severe delays on the m5 jct 3-4 ffs

 

100 miles away

 

thats like saying eddys battery is flat in cumbria - can do fook all about it

 

WHY U USE MI TAX IN THIS WAI CUNTBOLLOX POLITISHUN

[cort16]

Left scotland at 7 in cl500. Stopped for a pie it was very nice . Arrived at swappers house at 11am, sl280 I'm swapping for is mint.

Do you want me to show you how the hard top and roof works says sl owner. Yes please says me.

Hard top comes off but roof won't go up. Now follows an hour and a half of fucking around putting it up and down manually trying to get it to reset. Eventually I said I need to go and an sl280 with a broken roof isn't much good to me.

Okay he says if I get it working in the next half hour I'll call you back . An hour and a bit later he calls. it's working but I'm 80 miles away already . I didn't go back.

[cort16]

Cl is getting 24 mpg though. 150 miles to go.

Ps teabay is an excellent services

[Cavcraft]

How difficult is it to buy a sodding old Corsa? Four or five days of half-arsed responses (mostly useless and averaged about one every 11.5 hours0 then randomly today I get a message telling me to text message another number as the car was his.

 

Messaged him 'it's my son's car (the lad who I'd been texting) and yes it's still for sale.'  Got some basic info (the same basic info I had anyway) asked where he lived and if I could view today, and nothing in return. What's the bleeding point of all that?

[Pillock]

Yes, Tebay is excellent.

Sometimes, I leave the Midlands and head south where I may stop at Toddington. I will arrive in the south frustrated, angry and skint.

 

Sometimes, I will go north and stop at Tebay. There I will purchase a pie and chips, I will sit at the picnic area and watch the ducks on the pond, and life will be much better.

 

I notice the owners of Tebay have opened another outlet just north of Brizzle on the M5. It's meant to be as good but it's harder to justify stopping as I've usually only just got on the road.

[EssDeeWon]

How difficult is it to buy a sodding old Corsa? Four or five days of half-arsed responses (mostly useless and averaged about one every 11.5 hours0 then randomly today I get a message telling me to text message another number as the car was his.

 

Messaged him 'it's my son's car (the lad who I'd been texting) and yes it's still for sale.'  Got some basic info (the same basic info I had anyway) asked where he lived and if I could view today, and nothing in return. What's the bleeding point of all that?

 

Sounds like your dealing with the arse end of humanity, and the reason they cannot text back is probably because their phone has run out of credit.

 

Expect a text back on Thursday night at 11pm with an incomplete address.

[Cavcraft]

I got one 90 minutes later saying 'I'm in work, you can't view it today.' I messaged back and said I had the cash and wanted to buy it, but I was going to leave it as it seems it's impossible to actually view the car.

 

I reckon it won't start or something and they're stalling for time, it's bloody daft because I don't care about the engine so it doesn't matter that much (excpet when I tried to chisel the price down more) but bollocks to 'em.

[cort16]

500 miles 20 gallons of fuel (avg 24.7 mpg in the end) 1 pie and 1 burrito and I still have the same flippin car. I'm a bit pissed off as the sl was a stunner but having tried to debug floppy top woes on a Saab I really don't want to go through it again .

The cl is an easy car to do 500 miles in given it can massage your back and blow cold air up your trouser cravas if not a bit dangerous for the license given it's ability to pile on speed.

 

Anyone want to buy it?

[cort16]

Will not swap 4 vectra