The grumpy thread

[cort16]

Yahoomail was really good and now it's really really bad. Much like BMW's. Impressive really.

[cort16]

Pissing cars. I just put a starter in that SD1 and it jammed on burn't itself out again. It's now stuck outside my mates after his abandoned trip to blackpool in it.

He posted me the keys back, which made me lol a bit. I guess that's him saying he no longer wants a loan of it.

Would the relay sticking cause this? He recons it's jamming on the flywheel but I can't see it.

 

I guess it needs to go once it's fixed. I'll see if I can get a years MOT on it first (and a new starter motor).

[Bobthebeard]

People ringing me up about "the accident you had last year" has now reached four or five calls per day. All from different numbers. Had a minor shunt. No injuries, no anything as it happened at 0.000001MPH. Dented rear bumper. All fixed and sorted. Calls keep on coming in....

Minor discomfort sir? Claim £4000.

FRO.

How do you stop these chancers?

[wackywacerwill]

Neighbour knocked on the door Saturday morn to enquire if the Renault Clio that was now stuck on the back of his 3 week old 5 series belonged to me. I could tell he already knew the answer so there was no point in denying the fact. I'd left it running when I parked on the hill the night previous to have a failed attempt at finding which orifice it had pissed out all it's expensive pink coolant over the course of the evenings driving and after assuming it had holed the rad had clearly just turned it off and slammed the door in pure disgust of it's seemingly inability at holding onto it's fancy water.

I am in the habit of leaving my motors in gear, especially after the granada incident some years back though clearly I am a twat.

 

Neighbors bimmer is a company car and due to my skintness it will all need to go through insurance. The bimmer needs a bumper which will surely cost a mint. On the plus side my towbar is unaffected.

[CortinaDave]

^^ I've done that. Left my Ford Cougar outside a shop on a hill and ran in to get a sandwich. Came out and it was nowhere to be seen. It was at that moment I spotted it, at the bottom of said hill in the middle of a very busy roundabout. Miraculously it didnt hit anyone as it careered backwards down along street and over two lanes on the roundabout,

 

Sheepishly walked over to tuts and glowers and drove away

[TimothyClaypole]

WAHT?

Next you'll be telling me that the buses aren't Yorkshire Traction any more, or that you can't pay with a 5p kerchinger strip.

 

Sit down and grab a hankie...

 

Paul Sykes sold the engines to some foreigners for years, then used the money to fund building Meadowhall with our boss Malcolm Healey and his brother then turned into some anti consumerism green person having made millions building a temple to buying stuff.  The Yorkshire Traction depot is now built over with housing.

 

I'm offering £5.00 via Paypal to the 1st person who can find me a picture of our boss on Google.

 

(that's what real money buys, none of this private plate shite).    

[Ghosty]

People ringing me up about "the accident you had last year" has now reached four or five calls per day. All from different numbers. Had a minor shunt. No injuries, no anything as it happened at 0.000001MPH. Dented rear bumper. All fixed and sorted. Calls keep on coming in....

Minor discomfort sir? Claim £4000.

FRO.

How do you stop these chancers?

If it's a landline, Telephone Preference Service (if the previous occupant of your house didn't register and you kept their phone number you're fucked though, as you can still get unsolicited calls directed to them if the phonebooks aren't updated).

If it's a mobile, nowt you can do except maybe complain at the provider and see if that does anything (unlikely).

[maxpower]

FKIN LONDON! travelling to work today took over an hour..(10mins usually) because of fkin tour de france!! what the fuck they holding it through london for when they know that one fkin snowflake brings the whole city to a standstill..... and the blonde poser boy with his shades on in the mazda 3... stop fkin preening yourself you vain twat and pay attention to the traffic!

[Cavcraft]

TPS is sadly almost a waste of time, because the bastards still ring, usually from abroad. Still use it but have caller recognition too, and just don't answer any withheld or foreign numbers. Once you stop answering the 'phone to the twats (even to give them a volley of abuse) they move on to someone else.

 

Right, e-mailed two more companies today who've been mithering via e-mail, one is a solicitor's so this could be interesting. I've decided to use some reasonably low level swearing, on the basis it will annoy them enough to reply and hopefully piss them off. If that doesn't pull any results, I'll simply return the favour and hawk their fucking email addresses all over the internet, hopefully resulting into shit loads of spam for them.

[Cavcraft]

Had a pretty decent reply from the solicitors place now.

[Lankytim]

Come on, stick all the correspondence up on here! Maybe you could turn it into a book...

[Cavcraft]

'Dear Sir/Madame,

 

I am in receipt of your complaint below, which has been directed to A******* A***** ******** (***) – Part of the ******** Group.

 

I am sorry to learn of your complaint regarding the advertising and marketing services undertaken by  A******* A***** ******** (***) . I apologise for any intrusion however *** is a Data Protection Act registered business and is fully compliant with all of the regulations relating to this form of advertising.

 

My understanding is that your complaint relates to the receipt of email material which you consider to be unsolicited.  The email advertisement that you have received is part of a broadcast by a third party sender and in that respect *** is an advertiser.  *** does not control, own or maintain the list of email recipients nor do we have access to any data relating to you as an individual.

 

In order to progress your complaint, it is necessary for me to identify the sender of the email to establish how the email was solicited.  As *** works with a number of third party senders and there are companies operating similar brands, I would ask that you kindly forward to me the offending email. 

 

Once I receive the email advertisement I will then contact the list owner and ask that they deal directly with you to identify the “opt-in” process and address any complaint that you should have regarding the subscription service.  To that end it will be necessary for me to forward your contact details to the third party together with details of your email contact address.  I will of course be monitoring the outcome with the third party.

 

In the meantime, if you have not already done so, I would suggest that you click on the “unsubscribe” link that should be found within the body of the email.  I believe that there may be a short delay in the sender addressing the unsubscribe request whilst the data cleansing process is completed.

 

For the sake of good order given the nature of your complaint I have also added your details to an email suppression list which will be distributed to all of our third party senders with a request that your data not be used for the purpose of our email marketing campaigns.

 

Please also find attached the company’s formal complaints process.'

 

The next lot (some shitty arsed Contractor's website thing) might not be so polite, as I swore at them a bit more.

[Lankytim]

LOL! Can't wait!

[cort16]

It's interesting with spam as I signed up for something ages ago, ticked the DO NOT CONTACT ME button but used the name Danny Fudkins. Now I get loads of emails saying "Danny, your home insurance is up for renewal". "Mr FudKins do you know you're owed PPi Money?" I wish I could remember what it was I signed up for now as it would root out the lieing fuckers.

[cms206]

SWMBO has had a man in from B&Q to price up a new fitted kitchen. She asked them to price "doing everything".

 

Initial price of materials at a rough estimate in the shop came to £1700-2000. Actual price came to £2300 with a couple of extra appliances added in. Fitting?

 

THREE THOUSAND SIX HUNDRED AND NINETY SEVEN POUNDS.

[320touring]

SWMBO has had a man in from B&Q to price up a new fitted kitchen. She asked them to price "doing everything".

 

Initial price of materials at a rough estimate in the shop came to £1700-2000. Actual price came to £2300 with a couple of extra appliances added in. Fitting?

 

THREE THOUSAND SIX HUNDRED AND NINETY SEVEN POUNDS.

I'd want it up front if I was doing it for you..

 

As a bargaining tool, mention that it makes you entitled to 399.8 £15 volvos in return

[saucedoctor]

Appliance fitting prices are a joke. My mate was quoted £190 extra to wire in a freestanding cooker. That's 3 wires. I did it. I think they wanted near a ton to plumb in a dishwasher too.

[cms206]

The most I've ever paid for a car was £695. My arse near collapsed. No, thats a lie, my arse did collapse.

[Spiny Norman]

PLEASE don't let B&Q anywhere near it, I've heard some right horror stories about their 'skilled fitters'.

 

Kitchen fitting in general is a licence to print vast sums of money, the bits slot together like lego and if the points are already there for hooking up the cooker/washing machine etc it's a doddle. If you can change a top hose you can plumb in a washing machine, or find an old chippie who'll do the whole thing for a couple of hundred quid and a case of beer.

 

Or DIY and eat out the local chippy for the next 6 months and just wear smelly clothes.

[skattrd]

Tbh cms206 I bought freestanding kitchen units from Ikea as I couldn't be arsed with the hassle and bullshit of kitchen fitters. Best decision ever.

[Ghosty]

Looking at a bike for sale on eBay, £30 start one bid, someone with 3 feedback. 

Turns out they seemingly didn't have a clue about eBay and they'd bid £100 at the start, fuckwit.

[cort16]

Go on one these mybuilder.com sites. You can check their ratings and they usually give much better rates as they're filling in dead time in a lot of cases.

It also means you can source your carcases, doors, appliances seperately and just get them to fit it. I've had a couple of jobs done using it and it's worked out pretty well even though the guy I got to put my fence up fitted the panels upside down (I would have done the same)

[ruffgeezer]

I did it the autoshite way and got a second hand kitchen including appliances for 200 quid and fitted it myself, then I sold the left overs off.

 

I'll have got a new kitchen for under 400 notes when done and it is still in the current range.

[saucedoctor]

I'm not feeling well disposed towards arachnids, vertebrates and creepy crawlies in general today. At 03:50 this morning, one of our 5 BILLION decibel smoke alarms went off. Having ascertained that the house wasn't in fact on fire, I took down the smoke alarm to see if it was duff. As I was taking it down, Jasmine let out a scream and yelled "ANDY! THERE'S A SPIDER ON YOUR ARM!". Considering the blood-curdling nature of her exclamation, I looked down, expecting to see something at least the size of a Challenger 2 main battle tank. As it was, the wee spider fucked off sharpish under the dishwasher.

 

Must remember to vacuum the smoke alarms in future.

 

knackered-today.com.

[dugong]

I did it the autoshite way and got a second hand kitchen including appliances for 200 quid and fitted it myself, then I sold the left overs off.

 

I'll have got a new kitchen for under 400 notes when done and it is still in the current range.

 

I did a nice sideline in offcuts and filthy appliances when PARENTS_DUGONG decided to spend a toe-curling amount on their new kitchen. 

The look of the scratter in the Transit who turned up within 20 minutes of the old metal being dumped in the garage was priceless when I told him I was selling the scrap off myself and weighing the rest in. Posh area, you see. 

[xtriple]

I used to work for a firm of very high end kitchen/bathroom suppliers/fitters. It was not uncommon for the total job to be £100,000 for a kitchen and not much less (and sometimes more!) for bathrooms!

 

Polished real marble is surprisingly expensive... and fragile! Granite/marble worktops take a shitload of work making accurate templates that can be used to cut the giant stones so they fit first time. You can't cock up on the that job as the lead time is weeks.... and the prices would make your eyes water pound notes.

 

Remember once a HUGE bathroom done entirely in Italian marble tiles, the price to us for each tile would buy a banger! The fitters we used were the best in the business and all true craftsmen - one guy could do 'L' shaped worktop joins to perfection, by hand! Everyone else uses a template and router. You may be surprised that the router bits used for cutting (accurately) worktops cost a fortune and were £20 a time to be sharpened (ten years ago) and only used for a couple of joints before re-sharpening.

 

One or two of 'our' lads tried working for BandQ and the like when we were quiet (they were all self employed) and none could stick it. Most managed one job for them and then refused any further work. Shoddy, cheap, nasty and penny pinching were the common complaints.

[Mr Livered]

Looking at a bike for sale on eBay, £30 start one bid, someone with 3 feedback. 

Turns out they seemingly didn't have a clue about eBay and they'd bid £100 at the start, fuckwit.

What's wrong with that? It's designed so that if you want, you can enter the maximum amount you're prepared to pay and let the system bid for you up to that amount - surely that's quite a legitimate way of days things?

[Danblez]

Public transport and dirty bastards who don't wash for months on end.

 

What is wrong with these people?

[Sloth in a bowl]

SWMBO has had a man in from B&Q to price up a new fitted kitchen. She asked them to price "doing everything".

 

Initial price of materials at a rough estimate in the shop came to £1700-2000. Actual price came to £2300 with a couple of extra appliances added in. Fitting?

 

THREE THOUSAND SIX HUNDRED AND NINETY SEVEN POUNDS.

 

 

In the old house we had a long galley kitchen that needed units replacing on both sides.

Local posh kitchen company was doing a deal of buy the bottom units and all the wall mounted stuff is free.

 

So we get a salesman round and say we that have a budget of £3000 and no more.

He says fine, easy to do the kitchen for £3000 and measures everything up.

Final bill including wall units £5500!!, with offer £3900.

We say thanks but £3000 or goodbye.

He phones the boss and we get our kitchen for £3000, it was really nice stuff to, we used the same company when we moved to the current house, though didn't get such a good discount second time round.

 

There are big deals to be done on kitchen units.

[drum]

Just buy new doors. Nobody cares what the the carcasses look like.