The grumpy thread

[RedSparrow]

Totally. Judging 70s - 80s cars by today's standards because LOLTOPGEAR.

[Lankytim]

I'd wager that many of these "surveys" are done by people who have never been near, yet alone driven an Allegro or Ambassador, or a Robin for that matter.

[Cavcraft]

I think probably every newspaper in Britain has trotted similar rubbish out. It seems a few times a year there's a report that says only one Allegro is left and that driving a Cortina Mk4 gave you asthma, or some such fucking bollocks. It's bone idle journalism at it's very worse.

[dollywobbler]

To be fair to the newspaper, it's Wheeler Dealers that have put out this 'story.' They've just done the lazy and mildly tweaked a press released to create a news* story*. It will have been carefully* put together than a team of clever* graduates who once watched Only Fools and Horses.

[RedSparrow]

Just looked at the gallery (didn't bother before). They have a picture of a VP Princess when I think they meant to have a BL Princess and a new mini where they were meant to have an original one. Qual.

[vulgalour]

National newspaper in OMG OLD CARS IZ SHIT shocker.

[cobblers]

I read this website (http://www.derelictlondon.com/) a bit for years, I like that kind of shit and get get to appreciate the shitty old architecture of london without actually having to visit the godforsaken place.

 

Anyway the other day I thought "fuck it, I'll buy this guys book, it's only £6 and it'll buy him a drink and give me something to read while eating my rustlers burger on my lunch". I don't really ever buy books anymore cos they constantly  disappoint me as being a proper shit equivalent to the internet if you want to learn owt, and I have absolutely no time for reading stories.

 

So the book turns up, first page I open it to is a picture of a mk2 cortina and a mini abandoned in some old garage type thing. Reasonable picture (but I recognise it off his website) with a quote about how the "MK4  cortina is very rare, only a handful left" and "people are now just dumping cars because scrap metal values are so low that they have to pay to dispose of them legally" 

 

Flick through a few more pages and the whole book is just pictures off his website that I've already seen with similarly rubbish quotes on the opposite page. Book in bin.

[wackywacerwill]

AUTOSHITIST ADMITS OLD VAN IZ SHIT SHOCKER.

 

Started running like a sack on the way home from work tonight. Looking under the bonnet revealed that it was too dark to be fixed this evening though hand down the back of the seat unearthed enough change for a can of san miguel. Limped it home but had to pass up the chance of 3 boilers for scrap and a £40 removal job  Need to get it fixed by the weekend (with no time to do so) as it's on caravan towing duties. Double fucksticks  

[ruffgeezer]

To be honest, after all that, I'm not even sure the MGF's headgasket had gone!

 

 

Ho hum...

[vulgalour]

@ruff:  is that... there's no head gasket at all.  Is that right?  That can't be right.  What sort of numpty wouldn't put a headgasket in there.

[RedSparrow]

LOL ROVER COS THEY R SHIT

[Richard]

  On 16/09/2013 at 23:30, vulgalour said:

@ruff:  is that... there's no head gasket at all.  Is that right?  That can't be right.  What sort of numpty wouldn't put a headgasket in there.

 

I think he's talking about the holed piston.

[Faker]

I see some water on a couple of pistons, I don't see any holes.

[Partridge]

Corgi Vangurds are overpriced shit.

[oman5]

  On 17/09/2013 at 09:58, Alan Partridge said:

Corgi Vangurds are overpriced shit.

I used to buy these quite frequently at about 7 quid a pop, they now seem closer to 20 so I don't.

[Partridge]

  On 17/09/2013 at 10:18, oman5 said:

I used to buy these quite frequently at about 7 quid a pop, they now seem closer to 20 so I don't.

Same here. Now I just by random diecast cack from Facebook groups. Much more fun doing that, and I've got some pretty good miniture shite from it.

[Richard]

  On 17/09/2013 at 06:21, Faker said:

I see some water on a couple of pistons, I don't see any holes.

 

There's something badly wrong at the right hand side of No.3. It's easier to see if you click to enlarge the picture.

[Station]

That's detonation on the piston! It should be OK to run though.

Is the white stuff where the oil and water has mixed when you took the head off. Oh wait, it'll be a HGF.

[ShiteRider]

FUCKING TWATTY BOLLOCKS!!!!!

Out of all the cars in the yard at work, i've managed to reverse the wagon into my own fucking car.

Nearside lights smashed out, wing a bit (more) sqaushed. etc etc.

 

 

Fuck my life.

[twosmoke300]

Nothing worse than friendly fire.!

[ShiteRider]

  On 17/09/2013 at 20:19, twosmoke300 said:

Nothing worse than friendly fire.!

In true autoshite style i now have no road legal/functional car.

BMW - Freshly fucked up front end

Fiesta- Doesn't get VIC till the 7th

Lupo- Has been sat on the drive for nearly 3 years, through no fault of it's own. When it's last MOT ran out i bought a cortina instead of testing it.

Beige Cortina- Not finished glueing back together after it's respray.

Blue Cortina- Is costing £bumrape in parts/panels before it gets stripped and dipped.

Conclusion......commonsense says bridge the fucking lot.

I won't though.

[SambaS]

i hate it when common sense has a word

[vulgalour]

I stopped returning Common Sense's calls and at one point had to have a restraining order issued.

[Sigmund Fraud]

  On 17/09/2013 at 20:41, MetBlackmk5 said:

In true autoshite style i now have no road legal/functional car.

BMW - Freshly fucked up front end

Fiesta- Doesn't get VIC till the 7th

Lupo- Has been sat on the drive for nearly 3 years, through no fault of it's own. When it's last MOT ran out i bought a cortina instead of testing it.

Beige Cortina- Not finished glueing back together after it's respray.

Blue Cortina- Is costing £bumrape in parts/panels before it gets stripped and dipped.

Conclusion......commonsense says bridge the fucking lot.

I won't though.

 

Mr.C.Sense would probably suggest resurrecting the Lupo, but where's the fun in that ? The true Autoshite solution is to... buy yet another car ! Come on, you know you want to

[ruffgeezer]

  On 17/09/2013 at 17:06, Richard said:

There's something badly wrong at the right hand side of No.3. It's easier to see if you click to enlarge the picture.

They brought it to us a few months ago for an mot & oil change, the oil & water looked the same then, they were well warned of impending hgf but kept the car anyway.

 

After bursting a coolant hose and pissing It's water out, they drove it until it overheated.Outstanding work...

[warren t claim]

FUCKING iOS7. Utter pile of toss. Twatting iPhone.

[cort16]

  On 17/09/2013 at 20:41, MetBlackmk5 said:

In true autoshite style i now have no road legal/functional car.

BMW - Freshly fucked up front end

Fiesta- Doesn't get VIC till the 7th

Lupo- Has been sat on the drive for nearly 3 years, through no fault of it's own. When it's last MOT ran out i bought a cortina instead of testing it.

Beige Cortina- Not finished glueing back together after it's respray.

Blue Cortina- Is costing £bumrape in parts/panels before it gets stripped and dipped.

Conclusion......commonsense says bridge the fucking lot.

I won't though.

 

What happened to the bmw?

[ShiteRider]

Spec lift on the wagon caught the front as i was turning it around. Smashed the indicator "loosened" the headlamp (which now does a grand job of illuminating the kerb) and marked the wing.

Now repaired using gaffer tape and clear plastic, the approved autoshite method, till the new lights arrive friday.

[Negative Creep]

Mayo in the 944's header tank. I'm starting to think that buying this wasn't the greatest idea I've ever had..........

[chaseracer]

Chuck a Pinto in it...?