The grumpy thread

[DoctorRetro]

In other news... Fucking Rimmer Brothers/ UPS. 

UPS: No you can't change delivery address, RB requested direct delivery. 

RB: No we can't change delivery address. 

UPS: No we can't leave in a safe location, with a neighbour or even give you better tracking info so you can pop round home (9 min walk or 30 sec drive) to meet delivery driver. Choices = wait in for 4 hours or drive 26 miles to local depot in a car that is iffy as waiting for the delivery of said part!) 

Fucksake. 

[purplebargeken]

Long time ago...... Wasp flies into the space behind my partially open visor on a full face helmet whilst travelling at a reasonable speed in traffic. Much hilarity* ensues trying to open visor, waft/blow/encourage wasp to fuck off whilst dodging cars, vans, nuns and kittens whilst looking for a place to pull over, take helmet off and run away from wasp.

[Aston Martin]

Here's the prick from yesterday.

Compression doesn't help 

 

https://streamable.com/p8165

[MikeR]

5 hours ago, Fumbler said:

Line powered phones pick up nothing, as if they're not plugged in. I suspect there's a drop out of line voltage somewhere beyond the exchange. The wireless handset phones with basestation will ring, showing the number, but will not transmit or receive any voice stuff whatsoever. This leads me to suspect that while the ringer wire is working, there is no line voltage so the line driven phone we have for backup isn't working. The other evidence for this that I have is that BT shortly came back to Father Fumbler saying they couldn't detect any fault. We know as well as thay do that the phone lines are ringing, and it also proves our master socket isn't to blame either.

Only 2 wires from the exchange . if the bell works they are connected . more like the line feed is not working on the line card . but they will pad out the job to max the ot .... 

[Fumbler]

I suppose they'll narrow down the suspects eventually when they come out. It's either the master socket that's gone phut, the junction box on the pole opposite the house, or the new distribution box down the road. What I do know is that when everything's fixed, dialling 1571 will show us probably 16 million messages from people who couldn't get through to us!

[Tadhg Tiogar]

1 hour ago, purplebargeken said:

Long time ago...... Wasp flies into the space behind my partially open visor on a full face helmet whilst travelling at a reasonable speed in traffic. Much hilarity* ensues trying to open visor, waft/blow/encourage wasp to fuck off whilst dodging cars, vans, nuns and kittens whilst looking for a place to pull over, take helmet off and run away from wasp.

And this is why motorcycling has never appealed to me.

[vulgalour]

They came to measure our windows for the third time today.  It's great living in a rental property and being passed about, it's taken about three years to get anywhere with the windows.  Anyway, we're told they're a custom size, will need 1-3 days to make and then they can come and fit them.  It'll be an all-day job, early start.  Can we move the time or day it happens?  Nope.  Is it going to be at all friendly for my working hours?  Nope.  I am not looking forward to window-fitting day at all, wouldn't be so bad if the windows being replaced were in another room, but it would be the room I work and sleep in.

Ah well, it'll be nice to have windows that don't shed paint and grow mould.  Unless they cock it up, which they probably will, because it's the same rubbish lettings agency we were with at the previous house.  Except apparently it's not because they have a different brand name for this particular catchment area, even though their cars are all stickered up as the shitty agent's company.  Urgh.  I wish someone would regulate the FUCK out of rental agencies and individuals in the UK so they all had to take some fucking responsibility and stopped it being such an utter crapshoot.

[Jazoli]

1 hour ago, purplebargeken said:

Long time ago...... Wasp flies into the space behind my partially open visor on a full face helmet whilst travelling at a reasonable speed in traffic. Much hilarity* ensues trying to open visor, waft/blow/encourage wasp to fuck off whilst dodging cars, vans, nuns and kittens whilst looking for a place to pull over, take helmet off and run away from wasp.

2 weeks ago whilst I was out on the bike I managed to swallow a wasp whilst wearing a full face lid, it stung me on the uvulva of all places, it was an interesting 70 mile ride home whilst not being able to breathe well or swallow

[xtriple]

Half way through washing the car and the bastard hose burst in spectacular fashion, soaking me from head to foot. Also, as it's an expanding one it suddenly got about 20 foot shorter so doing the passenger side was, tricky.

S'pose I shouldn't complain as the hose only cost about £7 and that was about 3 years ago. Just bought another one from Amazon for a whole £9 delivered.

[GrumpiusMaximus]

I had a £7 Amazon expanding hose break on me within 20 minutes of owning it last year.  Went straight back on to Amazon and got a Hozelock kit with reel for £25 on a deal.  I decided that cheap expanding hoses were asking for trouble.

[xtriple]

12 minutes ago, GrumpiusMaximus said:

I had a £7 Amazon expanding hose break on me within 20 minutes of owning it last year.  Went straight back on to Amazon and got a Hozelock kit with reel for £25 on a deal.  I decided that cheap expanding hoses were asking for trouble.

Where's your sense of adventure lad? You have to try, try and try again, I'd have thought you'd know that by now!

[GrumpiusMaximus]

I decided that skydiving wasn't for me a long time ago.  If at first you don't succeed...

[DoctorRetro]

1 hour ago, Jazoli said:

2 weeks ago whilst I was out on the bike I managed to swallow a wasp whilst wearing a full face lid, it stung me on the uvulva of all places, it was an interesting 70 mile ride home whilst not being able to breathe well or swallow

Always thought you were a bloke. That, and managing to sting your vulva via your mouth - must have been one determined wasp! 

[Fumbler]

So it seems an engineer has been at it with the connection box down the road for telephone and Internet. This is because plugging a landline phone into the raw, unfiltered telephone connection still yields zero result. It turns out that there is work being done, whereby contractors are stringing in fibre optic cabling direct to several farm properties around the area and so engineers have been preparing connections this end of the process. In this process our Internet has been moved to the slow side and our telephone has been knocked out of place. At least we won't be charged £160 plus VAT because our master socket isn't to blame!

[cort16]

My boss who I've worked for, for 15 years, sat next to for 10 years and travelled all over the world with, got extremely pished with on many occasions and had many long days and good laughs with is leaving on Friday after selling the company.

I'm supposed to be picking up some of his role but he pretty much single handedly created our system. Not only am I nervous about 20 years of experience walking out the door but he's always had my back and I've spoke to him pretty much every day for 15 years, watched his kids grow up etc. We'll keep in touch but FUCK ME it's going to be an interesting next few weeks  while I get used to him not being there.

[chaseracer]

1 hour ago, GrumpiusMaximus said:

I decided that skydiving wasn't for me a long time ago.  If at first you don't succeed...

Because what we really need is another Poundshop Billeh... ?

[Wack]

I don't go abroad very often so Germans don't show up on my radar much 

Are they all cunts or are some of them ok , twice this week I've seen them just walk to the front of a queue and walk in ,one on a bus and one at a museum ,  arrogant twats. 

Neither directly in front of me so my "you can fuck right off " wasn't required,  and I was instructed not to go full on basil like I did once in london when this twat decided he didn't need to queue for 20 minutes like everybody else 

[sheffcortinacentre]

Iceland frozen meals last week £1 this week £1.60!? Wtf that's some inflation!

Probably down to Brexit? Or Gino Dr Campo to gurn from posters about the new Italian range

[dozeydustman]

Why the fuck do other halves have the knack of bringing a sensitive issue up at the most inappropriate of times.

I have mental issues with needles, injections etc and during a blood test I got very stressed and panicky and asked the nurse to stop faffing about trying to find a vein in my arm and take from the extremely prominent one on the back of my left hand just to make everything slick and smooth. She wouldn’t. My arm looks like a second hand dartboard, I got very angry and sweary because panic attack. Had to tell the wife about it after she finished work.

We’ve had the house to ourselves all afternoon and evening. Talked things through and left it at that. Dinner, glass if wine, watched a movie.

Just got into bed having had a wonderful evening and she brings up the subject of my blood test this afternoon.

I’m now on the sofa-bed and feel like gettin so drunk I’ll be unfit for work for the next 8 weeks

[somewhatfoolish]

11 hours ago, Datsuncog said:

Years of cuts to UK public services set against a background of rising demand, make civic niceties such as tidy verges and smooth roads unaffordable. Tax cuts for the increasingly super-wealthy never have the claimed trickle-down effect to the rest of the economy. As a national body, we're in financial ketosis. There's too much wealth leaking out through offshore trusts and other loopholes, than can be replaced through sustainable national productivity (actual industry, rather than financial services moving-numbers-around). At least, that's my hazy reading of it, based on a background in undergraduate economics.

Reading my union comic today; in amongst the 'why oh why' letters, the 'industry faces skills shortage' articles which strangely never presage a payrise, there was a mini-pissboiler lurking in the 'news in brief', the government have doled out repeat waivers to 4 service providers in the offshore wind sector allowing them to employ non-EU crew for less than NMW. There wasn't a shortage of qualified seafarers in the UK or the rest of the EU when they doled out these slave licences the first time round and there isn't one now; in common with the piss artists in the fishing sector there are greedy scumbags who don't want to pay a living wage if they can get away with hiring some poor bastard from the 3rd world who's hocked himself to a gangster moonlighting as a crewing agent to get a job and paying them £2/hr and only when there's an r in the month. Unsurprisingly employers who do this are often the same employers who treat their employees like shit, forcing them to bust the working hours limit and giving them unsafe vessels to work on. Given the huge quantities of money shoveled toward wind energy and the subsequent large profits posted by major players this kind of bollocks sticks in the craw.

[5speedracer]

I fucking hate UPS. Yes, hate is a strong word but I do fucking hate UPS.
They won't leave anything safe and around me that can mean on the front step!
Put it around the back or with a neighbour, no can do.
In the mid Naughtys I worked away all week and ordered a Dell computer, delivery by UPS. Turns out it had to be signed for by ME.
Neighbours, no!
To my work, no!
Had to go to fucking Dundee for it on Sat morning as they'd finally agreed to leave it with the gate security. 100 fucking miles each way!
Pricks.

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[MarvinsMom]

3 hours ago, Wack said:

I don't go abroad very often so Germans don't show up on my radar much 

Are they all cunts or are some of them ok , twice this week I've seen them just walk to the front of a queue and walk in ,one on a bus and one at a museum ,  arrogant twats. 

Neither directly in front of me so my "you can fuck right off " wasn't required,  and I was instructed not to go full on basil like I did once in london when this twat decided he didn't need to queue for 20 minutes like everybody else 

in my own limited experience, all  zee  germans i've come across are indeed cunts, and arrogant fuckers with it. even more so  than parisiens,  which i didn't think was possible!

[MarvinsMom]

3 hours ago, sheffcortinacentre said:

Iceland frozen meals last week £1 this week £1.60!? Wtf that's some inflation!

Probably down to Brexit? Or Gino Dr Campo to gurn from posters about the new Italian range

or them been "on offer" last week and this week been the usual price? 

i don't shop at Iceland so i cannot say if that is the case

[strangeangel]

9 hours ago, Wack said:

I don't go abroad very often so Germans don't show up on my radar much 

Are they all cunts or are some of them ok , twice this week I've seen them just walk to the front of a queue and walk in ,one on a bus and one at a museum ,  arrogant twats. 

Neither directly in front of me so my "you can fuck right off " wasn't required,  and I was instructed not to go full on basil like I did once in london when this twat decided he didn't need to queue for 20 minutes like everybody else 

 

My experience is that people in the European countries I've visited don't generally queue for public transport - they just stand there and when it arrives it's every man for himself. It just seems to be the way.

 

[sierraman]

9 hours ago, sheffcortinacentre said:

Iceland frozen meals last week £1 this week £1.60!? Wtf that's some inflation!

Probably down to Brexit? Or Gino Dr Campo to gurn from posters about the new Italian range

I used to work there years ago. One of the really clever ideas they has was to round up all the prices to easy to add up prices 50p, 75p, £1 etc. At the time I found it bizarre nobody realised what was 85p before was now a £1 for the sake of convenience. 

[sierraman]

9 hours ago, Wack said:

I don't go abroad very often so Germans don't show up on my radar much 

Are they all cunts or are some of them ok , twice this week I've seen them just walk to the front of a queue and walk in ,one on a bus and one at a museum ,  arrogant twats. 

Neither directly in front of me so my "you can fuck right off " wasn't required,  and I was instructed not to go full on basil like I did once in london when this twat decided he didn't need to queue for 20 minutes like everybody else 

They do have a bit of a superiority complex in that sense. That’s why when you climb behind the wheel of a newish Audi you start overtaking queues of traffic waiting and barging your way in at Junctions. 

[timolloyd]

I have spent lots of time with Germans. Arrogance is not a nationality thing - plenty of Brits push their way to the front of queues or do other arrogant things. Every country has its twats, basically.

 

[stuboy]

amazon deliveries!! most drivers stash it behind the bin or in wooden porch cupboard, or on doorstep (in plain view too steal it) this with stuff 30 quid upwards, yesterday £9 doorbell ive had to reaarange delivery and give details of safe place to leave it..

 

i expect my new mobile to be lobbed over the fence..

[Floatylight]

amazon deliveries!! most drivers stash it behind the bin or in wooden porch cupboard, or on doorstep (in plain view too steal it) this with stuff 30 quid upwards, yesterday £9 doorbell ive had to reaarange delivery and give details of safe place to leave it..
 
i expect my new mobile to be lobbed over the fence..

The other day we had an Amazon delivery left in the green bin with all the household waste including the kitchen bin and week old bags of dog doop!

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[iainrcz]

amazon deliveries!! most drivers stash it behind the bin or in wooden porch cupboard, or on doorstep (in plain view too steal it) this with stuff 30 quid upwards, yesterday £9 doorbell ive had to reaarange delivery and give details of safe place to leave it..

 

i expect my new mobile to be lobbed over the fence..

We've had stuff chucked over our 6 foot plus high side gate before.

 

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