The grumpy thread

[captain_70s]

I like winter, once it's winter & snow is everywhere. This endless autumn & xmas can cunting cunt off to cunt.

Sadly an endless autumn pretty much describes every one of this country's seasons. 

[Guest Hooli]

Sadly an endless autumn pretty much describes every one of this country's seasons. 

 

Ahh but you're in a different country

[Fumbler]

In which case it's usually an endless midge spawning season.

[myglaren]

Sadly an endless autumn pretty much describes every one of this country's seasons. 

 

[myglaren]

New alternator.

Only £230

 

Not as bad as it might have been.

My mate's Carina wasn't charging.  Took him to the dealers for a new belt.  £60!  This would be mid nineties.

He asked what the problem would be if it wasn't the belt - alternator - How  much?

Bloke in parts said "I'm just going to bring it up and go in the back while you look", and he did.

 

£600 +VAT.

 

Naturally it was the alternator.

We took it down to a shed like place down Sunderland docks, repaired overnight, £8

[The Reverend Bluejeans]

Sadly an endless autumn pretty much describes every one of this country's seasons. 

 

 

Autumn and Spring were discontinued in 2013.

 

It's now summer and winter. Summer is the period without snow, ice and above 10 degrees. Winter, all 6 months of it, is the rest.

[Saabnut]

When I moved to Scotland 35+ years ago, I asked my neighbour, a retired farmer, what the weather was really like. He replied that it was "no sae bad" as people thought, with about 3 months of winter. Ah well, I thought, I can live with that. As he turned to go back into his house, he muttered "followed by 9 months of bad weather".

 

Summed it up nicely.

[Coprolalia]

I did the Navimag ferry from Puerto Natales at the tip of Chile, up the coast to Puerto Montt, about 10 years ago. 

 

 

4 day journey on a mixed freight and passenger ferry. Generally utilitarian, but very scenic as mainly sailing up fjords, completely pristine and untouched. There's a bit just after Puerto Eden where you cross some open water, and the waves there have a fetch that brings them up from the roaring 40s. Fuck me. The drivers ratcheted their loads to the deck and then said prayers. Rolling 45 degrees to 45 degrees. Most of the passengers were sick. I got drunk at the empty bar, and remember being sat on a stool sliding from one end of the table to the other, drink in hand. 

[Guest Hooli]

Sounds an amazing trip that.

[Cavcraft]

People who speed up then brake for average speed cameras are hilarious, never fails to amuse me.

[Aston Martin]

 

I've never been allowed on the car deck when a ferry is at sea, doesn't the free/discounted food tempt them all in?

It's edible.... the shared cabins with other random fat men is the issue.

[cobblers]

Came home from work and let the dogs out for a slash.

It's raining so neither of them wants to go out, I pretty much had to physically boot them out and shut the door behind them.

 

Turned my back for a second and one of them jumped up at the handle, opened the kitchen door and let herself back in. Once inside, she turned round, stuck her head and one front paw over the threshold onto the patio and pissed all over the kitchen floor. 

What a dickhead!

[Crispian_J_Hotson]

GET THE BUILDERS IN! 

 

Shits sake, we are literally sitting around all day because the delicate office staff can't have any noise greater than footsteps... even though their cackling hurts my ears. All our work has to wait until 6.30pm! Dumped right in the middle of a nest of precious, entitled little flowers. Ok, I'm being paid a fucking fortune to do it but what a waste of time! 

[timolloyd]

I got drunk at the empty bar, and remember being sat on a stool sliding from one end of the table to the other, drink in hand.

I had a terrible ferry journey once, and also ended up sat on a stool*

[BorniteIdentity]

For fucks sake.

 

Just opened a Christmas card and a fucking Yorkshire pudding fell out. ????

 

Bloody Aunt Bessie.

[Craig the Princess]

Went into Downham Market to post a letter earlier. There are 7 slanted bays that allow 20 minutes parking.

 

Approaching them about 4 are filled, then the bunglecunt in the van in front of me parked across the three bays. As I stop and look a bit shocked he gives it the Bertie big bollocks "what I'm only posting a fucking letter".

 

Not a great idea in a signwritten van fella.

[busmansholiday]

Just seen the Halfrauds winter battery ad. FFS, when is somebody going to realise that whilst there's a Fester driving past in the snow, above it is a set of trolleybuses wires. We haven't had these in the UK for 46 years.....

[chodweaver]

^^^^^ Got a dashcam? I'd be inclined to pop it on their Facebook page...

 

But there is the danger that you would find yourself receiving an excess of attention from said force in the future...

 

Sent from my BV6000 using Tapatalk

[Kiltox]

Tosser in an X5 .

Woah hang on I was a wanker on a train today actually

[clayts450]

Got my first ever parking ticket today, dispatched by the Council. Looks like the twat with the hat got me a on a technicality even though there was nary a line nor sign to be seen anywhere close - parked up on a raised bit of road which happened to be the same level as the adjacent footpath (as had everyone else parked in front of me). Fair cop, guv, and £35 into the Council's Christmas party fund. Bit gutted though as I've always been a considerate parker and recognised there was plenty of pavement for peddies on the other side of the road.

 

Going back to parking on the road where I and many others can freely park with one set of wheels on the path and one on the road to ensure emergency vehicles can get past, cos thankfully Nottingham haven't gone all London on our asses yet. I'm sure as soon as they sniff the money they'll be on it like a tramp on chips.

[clayts450]

Woah hang on I was a wanker on a train today actually

 

Bet you barged to the front of the queue at the booking office knocking old ladies, nuns, kittens and childrens aside, cos BMW.

[Pillock]

I can't agree. I love watching people who have no understanding of the word average. I quite enjoy sailing through roadworks at a sat nav 52/53. Apart from arsehole tailgating truck when you have no where to go. They can piss right off.

 

I was talking to someone at work about this and they assumed it just averages all the results, so if you go through one camera at 60 then you just need to hit the next one at 40 to average 50mph. They were fairly new to driving though so I assume they'll get a little written explanation in the post at some point. I tried my best but they clearly knew better.

[richardmorris]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0K2b5S3bafM

Reminded me how much I like it - my dad seemingly had loads of their records when I was young. Plus the war of the worlds.

[dollywobbler]

I tried my best but they clearly knew better.

 

Ah yes. Reminds me of when I worked in an office. Colleague buys a Rover 416 HHR saloon. "Watch for the head gasket," I say. "Oh, I don't need to worry," says colleague. "It's a 1.6 so it's the Honda engine." "Er, no, it really isn't." "No, it is. The garage told me you can tell by the rev counter." WTF?

 

The entirely expected occurred about two weeks later. I was running an entirely reliable shitty Maestro 1.3L at the time. I tried not to giggle.

[richardmorris]

Ah yes. Reminds me of when I worked in an office. Colleague buys a Rover 416 HHR saloon. "Watch for the head gasket," I say. "Oh, I don't need to worry," says colleague. "It's a 1.6 so it's the Honda engine." "Er, no, it really isn't." "No, it is. The garage told me you can tell by the rev counter." WTF?

 

The entirely expected occurred about two weeks later. I was running an entirely reliable shitty Maestro 1.3L at the time. I tried not to giggle.

 

I said the same to a lady friend of mine with a very low mileage MGF. Keep an eye on the coolant level I said. Oh it’s fine, it’s low mileage she said. Next I heard of it she’d had a fail to proceed and a lot of work needed with the usual.

[Pillock]

"It's a 1.6 so it's the Honda engine." "Er, no, it really isn't." "No, it is. The garage told me you can tell by the rev counter." WTF?

 

 

Actually, you can tell by the rev counter.

 

If it goes past 3000 without steam obscuring your view of it, it's a Honda engine.

[Noel Tidybeard]

Got my first ever parking ticket today, dispatched by the Council. Looks like the twat with the hat got me a on a technicality even though there was nary a line nor sign to be seen anywhere close - parked up on a raised bit of road which happened to be the same level as the adjacent footpath (as had everyone else parked in front of me). Fair cop, guv, and £35 into the Council's Christmas party fund. Bit gutted though as I've always been a considerate parker and recognised there was plenty of pavement for peddies on the other side of the road.

 

Going back to parking on the road where I and many others can freely park with one set of wheels on the path and one on the road to ensure emergency vehicles can get past, cos thankfully Nottingham haven't gone all London on our asses yet. I'm sure as soon as they sniff the money they'll be on it like a tramp on chips.

 

 

challenge it- take a bunch of pix to illustrate lack of signage

[DodgeRover]

GET THE BUILDERS IN! 

 

Shits sake, we are literally sitting around all day because the delicate office staff can't have any noise greater than footsteps... even though their cackling hurts my ears. All our work has to wait until 6.30pm! Dumped right in the middle of a nest of precious, entitled little flowers. Ok, I'm being paid a fucking fortune to do it but what a waste of time! 

 

Need any chippies? I could do that and my normal day

[richardmorris]

Need any chippies? I could do that and my normal day

 

They could possibly be being bloody minded like me. New neighbours at work, their planning specifically says no phone or WiFi needed. BUT now want a phone line across our celing, requiring several hours of inconvenience. Do i moan or report them to surrey heath BC?

[somewhatfoolish]

Exactly. One day there will be no petrol and all these cars will be useless. Drive it, get it covered in shit, wash it, repeat.

 

According to *all news media that appears to be the 29th of March; there was no specific mention of petrol but given the general air of doom, pending apocalypse, etc. I assume Beelzebub will be attending with associated imps, goblins and other affiliated servants of OMGKAOS, and that petrol will be rationed exclusively for use in *cocktails by those manning the barricades and those assailing them.