Ask a Shiter

[beko1987]

I sit on the brake in the XM if only stopping for a few seconds, or knock it into neutral and see if it rolls or not. If so back on the brake. Did go through a phase of knocking it up into park but I usually end up going down to3rd and wondering why I;m doing 5k revs at 85...

 

Fun way to shit people up though is to knock an auto into p, especially if you go through r to do it. Cop a look in therear view as you flash your reversing lights on going to D, can be comical!

[Asimo]

^^^Yes but don't forget!

 

Lights change, one click back as if from neutral but into R not D, footdown and .....embarrassment!

[NorfolkNWeigh]

On modern Mercs if you give the brake pedal an extra shove when stationary ,it holds the brakes on . Why? I have no idea,at first I thought it was to stop dazzling people behind with a million super bright LEDs , but no, the brakelights stay on. To disengage you either touch the brake or accelerator and off you go, it goes mental with buzzers and flashing messages if you open the door whilst it's doing it though !

This and the start/stop will provide hours of fun* for future shiters! I'm sure.

[twosmoke300]

A lot of Vw cars hold the brakes on after a hard shove on the pedal. It's called seized calipers.

What ? Something goes wrong on a vag car ! Surely not.

Owners will just say its wear and tear and still say it's never let me down.

[mat_the_cat]

I was reading about one start/stop system a couple of years back (can't remember what car but think it was on a Citroen), where the is is started the moment you release your foot from the brake pedal. It's as if the designer is accepting that its the 'correct' way to sit in traffic, and not to use your handbrake!

[myglaren]

First time I drove an auto I nearly went through the windscreen.

Went to change gear and stomped on the brake.

Same here - with a nice new C6 and also my son's new Volvo S60.  Those first few seconds are alarming.

[myglaren]

Brace yourselves for a question of epically stupid proportions.

 

I have within the last hour replaced the distributor cap and HT leads on my Sierra - you no where this is going, don't you? - and now I don't have the foggiest which lead plugs into what. In my naivety and enthusiasm I figured the new dizzy would be marked or labelled in some way, but it's not. Nada. Nowt.

 

So, could someone please oblige this overly enthusiastic and well intentioned mongtard and tell him where he needs to stick his leads ...

A neighbour decided that to secure the van with all their property in it the day before they moved, he would remove the distributor cap and plug leads.

Took him while lunch time the following day to get someone out to re fit them for him.

[pompei]

At what point did Bentleys stop being suave and become vulgar?

[burraston2006]

 

At what point did Bentleys stop being suave and become vulgar?

 The moment Wayne Rooney and his crowd bought them!

[Richard]

I think it was the day VW or BMW (I forget which) bought them.

[saucedoctor]

Bentley=VAG SHITE

R-R=BastardenMunichWheels

[M'coli]

I was reading about one start/stop system a couple of years back (can't remember what car but think it was on a Citroen), where the is is started the moment you release your foot from the brake pedal. It's as if the designer is accepting that its the 'correct' way to sit in traffic, and not to use your handbrake!

It would be quite feasible with CANBUS tech to have the brake lights extinguish after 5 or ten seconds of this sort of shit, allowing the driver behind to regain their night vision no problem.

[worldofceri]

On newer fully automatic MAN trucks the gear selector takes the form of a simple 3-position switch (like a headlight switch) roughly in the place one would normally find the handbrake in an ordinary car.

 

Neutral is in the centre, for reverse you flick the switch left and for drive flick right. Or is it vice versa? I absent mindedly turned the switch the wrong way at some lights once and narrowly avoided slamming backwards into the car behind! A truly terrible design.

[alf892]

It would be quite feasible with CANBUS tech to have the brake lights extinguish after 5 or ten seconds of this sort of shit, allowing the driver behind to regain their night vision no problem.

You don't have to look at the light......I don't see the problem with this at all........you are stationary so it's not like being forced to look at rear fogs

[Wilko220]

I have a problem with the 'Umber.

 

When I start it up, it is appearing as if it is out of petrol - fires up, accelerator does little or nothing, engine dies within a couple of seconds.

 

There is definitely petrol in it - there was already two gallons showing on the gauge and I stuck another gallon in just to be on the safe side. There also appears to be no (obvious) problem with the throttle cable.

 

So, I can only assume that there is some kind of blockage in the fuel line - can anyone who is a better mechanic than me tell me whether this is likely? And if so, what I might be able to do about it?

 

Ta much.

[Richard]

I would check the carburettor diaphragm, and at the same time make sure the needle hasn't fallen out of the piston. It could also be a problem with the float and/or needle valve (not to be confused with the needle).

 

 

 

It's about 15 years since I last had a Stromberg carburettor so the above could be bollocks.

[Wilko220]

Thanks Richard

[TagoraSX]

You could also check that the paint or whatever they used to coat the inside of the tank hasn't started to disintegrate and clog the fuel lines. This is pretty common apparently and modern petrol exacerbates the problem.

[Wilko220]

Thanks Richard. If that is the problem, is it "new fuel tank time"? Or is there some snake oil or other option you know of that I can try?

[nacho man]

Headlight has gone on the stag, these have been uprated to "normal bulbs" and the sealed beam units long gone, however its a h4 bulb which has 3 prongs on the back but the stag only has two wires for the bulb? Changed the bulb and not working so checked power and there is 12v to the wires. I have tried the 2 wires on a variety of the 3 prongs but nothing, its baffling me, it dont take much, but it has.

[Richard]

You could also check that the paint or whatever they used to coat the inside of the tank hasn't started to disintegrate and clog the fuel lines. This is pretty common apparently and modern petrol exacerbates the problem.

I had this on my Avenger, every time I hit around 4000RPM it would clog up. Now you mention it the symptoms were quite similar to what's happening here. The short term cure was to remove the float bowl, take out the needle valve and give them a clean- all done with the carb in situ. I didn't do a long term solution. Depending on the state of the tank you could remove it and give it a good clean out, I would think all the loose paint is already floating around.

 

Headlight has gone on the stag, these have been uprated to "normal bulbs" and the sealed beam units long gone, however its a h4 bulb which has 3 prongs on the back but the stag only has two wires for the bulb? Changed the bulb and not working so checked power and there is 12v to the wires. I have tried the 2 wires on a variety of the 3 prongs but nothing, its baffling me, it dont take much, but it has.

 

IIRC the original headlights would have had dip and main in separate units so it must only be using one half of the bulb. Looking at the back of the bulb with the horizontal terminal to the top it is the left terminal for Ground, the top terminal for Dip and the right terminal for Main.

[spike60]

I have a problem with the 'Umber.

 

When I start it up, it is appearing as if it is out of petrol - fires up, accelerator does little or nothing, engine dies within a couple of seconds.

 

There is definitely petrol in it - there was already two gallons showing on the gauge and I stuck another gallon in just to be on the safe side. There also appears to be no (obvious) problem with the throttle cable.

 

So, I can only assume that there is some kind of blockage in the fuel line - can anyone who is a better mechanic than me tell me whether this is likely? And if so, what I might be able to do about it?

 

Ta much.

I had a problem with a Triumph 2000 very similar, it turned out the mechanical lift pump was chock full of rust and shite from the tank. Cleaned that and the carbs and the job was a good 'un!

[alf892]

 

I have a problem with the 'Umber.

 

When I start it up, it is appearing as if it is out of petrol - fires up, accelerator does little or nothing, engine dies within a couple of seconds.

 

There is definitely petrol in it - there was already two gallons showing on the gauge and I stuck another gallon in just to be on the safe side. There also appears to be no (obvious) problem with the throttle cable.

 

So, I can only assume that there is some kind of blockage in the fuel line - can anyone who is a better mechanic than me tell me whether this is likely? And if so, what I might be able to do about it?

 

Ta much.

discomnect fuel pump outlet.......and spin over...nice regular chuck of fuel=pump and line from tank OK. Nw have a look in float bowl. Clean needle valve and chamber and blow through from chamber to float tube. Fixed. Oh...before doing above put yer fag out.......

[TagoraSX]

Thanks Richard. If that is the problem, is it "new fuel tank time"? Or is there some snake oil or other option you know of that I can try?

 

I had similar trouble recently with an Audi tank. The garage cleaned twice but it was still clogging up the filter and pump with very fine rust. In the end they brought it to a local radiator place who cleaned and coated the inside with something for £70.

 

Job jobbed.

 

EDIT.

If this is the problem, depending how bad it is you may need to blow out the fuel line with an air line or something.

[Asimo]

Headlight has gone on the stag, these have been uprated to "normal bulbs" and the sealed beam units long gone, however its a h4 bulb which has 3 prongs on the back but the stag only has two wires for the bulb? Changed the bulb and not working so checked power and there is 12v to the wires. I have tried the 2 wires on a variety of the 3 prongs but nothing, its baffling me, it dont take much, but it has.

H4 headlight bulb with three prongs: 1prong=earth 2=dip 3= main.

If you have only two wires, one will be 12v to either the dip or main beam filament, the other will be earth. Remove the bulb then Measure the voltage between earth ie the car body / engine etc and the two terminals for the  headlight bulb. One of these should be 12v, the other should be zero. If they are both 12v, there is an earth connection missing. Compare with the other side that works.

[M'coli]

It would be quite feasible with CANBUS tech to have the brake lights extinguish after 5 or ten seconds of this sort of shit, allowing the driver behind to regain their night vision no problem.

 

 

You don't have to look at the light......I don't see the problem with this at all........you are stationary so it's not like being forced to look at rear fogs

Bully for you, but for those who like to anticipate traffic correctly, being able to see what's going on is an important part of the skill of driving.

[Wilko220]

Thanks guys for all those tips. Given me some stuff to think about...

[nacho man]

H4 headlight bulb with three prongs: 1prong=earth 2=dip 3= main.

If you have only two wires, one will be 12v to either the dip or main beam filament, the other will be earth. Remove the bulb then Measure the voltage between earth ie the car body / engine etc and the two terminals for the  headlight bulb. One of these should be 12v, the other should be zero. If they are both 12v, there is an earth connection missing. Compare with the other side that works.

 

Cheers, I was flumoxed as my new bulb also wasnt working, but bulb number 3 now lights up. So was a dodgy bulb x2.

[alf892]

Bully for you, but for those who like to anticipate traffic correctly, being able to see what's going on is an important part of the skill of driving.

 woo! sensitive!! Never realised the skill of driving involved such an inability to deal with minor distractions.......live long warrior

[Bucketeer]

Is it illegal to hitch-hike in the UK?

Something in a seldom used corner of my brain says it is, and I don't recall seeing any UK hitchers since I was a lad.

It's prevalent in mainland Europe and a great way to get about for ZERO DOLLA plus you meet some interesting characters.

It's even better having an attractive lady with you to flag cars down whilst hiding out of sight.