Ask a Shiter

[garbaldy]

Gears to go brakes to slow

[chaseracer]

Gears to go brakes to slow

Until you hit ice or some similar shitty surface, in which case the ability to slow down a ton or more of steel, glass & plastic WITHOUT touching the middle pedal is a useful skill to have...

[garbaldy]

Yes but they don't teach that now which might explain all the holes in hedges oposite T junctions

[chaseracer]

True!

 

Anyway, back to Barefoot's streetlight problem...

If it's anything like the ones round our way, there might be a sensor on top of the light unit itself. Once I noticed that one of the lights stayed on long after the others had clicked off for the day; this proved to be due entirely to the fat pigeon sitting on it, completely covering the sensor with its feathery arse...
 

[Partridge]

That's true, I can see it being useful in the snow.

Until you hit ice or some similar shitty surface, in which case the ability to slow down a ton or more of steel, glass & plastic WITHOUT touching the middle pedal is a useful skill to have...

[Partridge]

True!

 

Anyway, back to Barefoot's streetlight problem...

 

If it's anything like the ones round our way, the sensor's on top of the light unit itself. Once I noticed that one of the lights stayed on long after the others had clicked off for the day; this proved to be due entirely to the fat pigeon sitting on it, completely covering the sensor with its feathery arse...

 

There's your answer barefoot-make pideon pie

[chaseracer]

Anyone here speak 'management bollocks'?

 

"In order to meet the challenge the integrated team embraced the T5 Agreement (bespoke T5 Partnering Contract) and exemplified teamwork in extensively value engineering the solution and managing risks and opportunities to deliver the sub-project below the incentivised target cost."

 

My brain bleeds.  WTactualF is 'value engineering'?  A Skoda?

[simmo]

 

Anyone here speak 'management bollocks'?

 

"In order to meet the challenge the integrated team embraced the T5 Agreement (bespoke T5 Partnering Contract) and exemplified teamwork in extensively value engineering the solution and managing risks and opportunities to deliver the sub-project below the incentivised target cost."

 

My brain bleeds.  WTactualF is 'value engineering'?  A Skoda?

 

T5? are you dealing with BAA, HAL or Heathrow or whatever they are calling themselves this week?

[Sigmund Fraud]

Anyone here speak 'management bollocks'?

 

Management speak is not used to convey information. It's sole purpose is the further inflation of the already over-inflated ego of the writer.

[barefoot]

Anyone here speak 'management bollocks'?

 

"In order to meet the challenge the integrated team embraced the T5 Agreement (bespoke T5 Partnering Contract) and exemplified teamwork in extensively value engineering the solution and managing risks and opportunities to deliver the sub-project below the incentivised target cost."

 

 

 

In similar cobblers/bollocks, the Co-Op earlier this year stopped wrapping their cucumbers in polythene claiming something along the lines of;

'we'll save X tonnes of polythene and the environment will be a better place and we'll have chocolate covered arses - (everybody wants a lick) etc'

Now it appears that they're back to wrapping the old cucumbers in polythene like the rest of the food industry.

Obviously I was obliged to ring customer services to inquire about this apparent U turn in company policy.

Woman was surprised, but looked it up to reveal that they're back to packaging because they'll 'save 2X tonnes of damaged & wasted cucumber'

Fucking brilliant - that was well researched then.

& I'll bet that the twat that came up with it has been promoted and given a big fuck off bonus.

[chaseracer]

 

 

T5? are you dealing with BAA, HAL or Heathrow or whatever they are calling themselves this week?

 

Feck no - Unite are welcome to deal with that crowd! Just something I read in passing, then had to read again even to begin to understand it. In a perverse way, the almost total opacity of the language is quite impressive...

 

[Junkman]

Proactively orchestrate client-based infrastructures and monotonectally plagiarize technically sound action items by dynamically embracing this tool:

 

http://www.atrixnet.com/bs-generator.html

[tooSavvy]

True!

 

Anyway, back to Barefoot's streetlight problem...

If it's anything like the ones round our way, there might be a sensor on top of the light unit itself. Once I noticed that one of the lights stayed on long after the others had clicked off for the day; this proved to be due entirely to the fat pigeon sitting on it, completely covering the sensor with its feathery arse...

 

..... I have been told birds do that [having learned..] sitting on the sensor is warmer than sitting on some other part of the lamp.

 

tooSavvy

[Partridge]

Proactively orchestrate client-based infrastructures and monotonectally plagiarize technically sound action items by dynamically embracing this tool:

 

http://www.atrixnet.com/bs-generator.html

That's awesome!

[cobblers]

Point a laser pen at the sensor and the streetlamp will turn off. Attach laser to a bracket thing and have it wired to come on when your bedroom light turns off.

[HillmanImp]

What do I call one of these? I looked in the sky, where an elephant's eye, was looking at me, from a bubblegum tree and all that I knew was, the rubber bit on the door of my Audi was letting in water, letting in water, letting in water.........

 

 

Oh, no......what's happening!!! I climbed on the back of a giant anchovy, and flew off through a gap in the clouds, to a land where music was playing incredibly loudly and everyone was really happy and having a really good time......

........except me

[beko1987]

I fancy going on an advance driving course and I fancy going on a skid pan to have fun learn how to control my car better. Thing is, it would be pointless doing this in a modern what with the ABS and other acronyms so can - and indeed should - I use my own car?

I went on one for my 20th, was some fun, and some learning. Had a truly fucked 3 series coupe for rwd, and an omghgfandeverythingelse 214 for fwd. To teach with abs off, they just pulled the fuse. Which they had to do with the 214 running as it had a fucked starter. When someone did stall it they bought out something else, can't remembDr now

 

The no holds barred race at the end was fun. They chucked a load of silicone Shit on the track and then hosed it in for the fill effect. Was at castle coombe. Got a certificate and everything

[alf892]

What do I call one of these? I looked in the sky, where an elephant's eye, was looking at me, from a bubblegum tree and all that I knew was, the rubber bit on the door of my Audi was letting in water, letting in water, letting in water.........

 

 

Oh, no......what's happening!!! I climbed on the back of a giant anchovy, and flew off through a gap in the clouds, to a land where music was playing incredibly loudly and everyone was really happy and having a really good time......

 

........except me

I'd say that was an NLA seal..........will take some explaining to the disinterested parts wallah in your local Audi Palace too!

[alf892]

I'd like to post a bit about my fiesta............can someone tell me how to post pics. They are on Flickr at the mo but also have on PC. There was a stcky for this once?

 

Any instruction should be written as if for a semi literate person of 85 with dementia and learning difficulties.......

[simmo]

Feck no - Unite are welcome to deal with that crowd! Just something I read in passing, then had to read again even to begin to understand it. In a perverse way, the almost total opacity of the language is quite impressive...

 

 

That's funny in 21 years working for them, at various times I was an Amacus (AEEU in my day) Shop Steward, safety rep and then shamefully a short spell as a  manager,

Union policy on management speak was to repeat it back mockingly and repeatedly like Peter Kaye's Garlic Bread routine or just say they didn't give a flying feck for whatever the buzz word was,.crude but surprisingly effective.

[alf892]

Thanks Tayne! Got that bit.

 

Have spent the intervening time trying to then paste that in the right bit to get a pic.......so clicked on image button and pasted in the box. Jusy get the red cross in a box...

 

will try again another time¬

[alf892]

Jade Car 1 by alf892, on Flickr

  Blimey........got it!

[KruJoe]

On the Flickr subject, is it possible to disable the annoying "Jade Car 1 by alf892, on Flickr" tags coming with the image in threads (without manually deleting it every time)?

I feel they spoil the flow of the thread...

I found how to do it in Photobucket when they annoyingly changed the default settings, but Flickr?

[Jim Bell]

This thread is not currently about old cars.

 

Change direction or be moved to the other section by Mods!!!

[KruJoe]

Oh stop it.

[inconsistant]

Testing the 'stupid' bit of the thread title...

 

I have a starting problem that I think is probably a slowly discharging battery so after a week of non use it barely turns over.The battery is fairly new.

 

As a temporary 'cure' can I just disconnect the -ve terminal without any probs? (No alarm, etc to worry about) then reconnect before I start it up?

[Mr_Bo11ox]

yes

[Jim Bell]

Testing the 'stupid' bit of the tread title...

 

I have a starting problem that I think is probably a slowly discharging battery so after a week of non use it barely turns over.The battery is fairly new.

 

As a temporary 'cure' can I just disconnect the -ve terminal without any probs? (No alarm, etc to worry about) then reconnect before I start it up?

 

When you start hunting the drain, try the Heated Rear Screen relay (if the car has one). I chased a drain in a Cavalier for ages and it turned out to be the HRSR.

 

These are alright as an On or Off under bonnet switch:

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Car-Battery-Isolator-Switch-/301000588215?pt=UK_CarsParts_Vehicles_CarParts_SM&hash=item4615087bb7

[cort16]

What do you chaps with machine polishers use for compound? It looks expensive so want to buy the right stuff.

I've previously used halfords cutting compound, which you use wet then Meguirs ulimate compound. It works okay but it's not great.

[cobblers]

Farecla G3