Potential purchases: Negative signposts from adverts/environments/vendors.

[Split_Pin]

Following on from Cavcraft's observation that an interior photograph of a car where only one key is in the ignition with none of the usual attached life-paraphernalia can be a strong sign that the car is being sold be a hitherto undisclosed trader, I thought it might be useful to start a thread where the AS hive mind can add their advice and experiences of how to spot a car or vendor to avoid at first sight.

 

In my limited experience, something unwashed, or conversley, ohotogtaphed at a local car hand wash is a signal of an unscrupulous owner.

 

Anyone else have any experiences of this?

[Ghosty]

'RELISTED DUE TO TIMEWASTER'

 

The timewaster is the seller.

[lesapandre]

Wooden steering wheel added to a Mercedes.

Anything standing in a muddy farmyard.

[Kiltox]

Underground / multi-storey car park.

 

I mean would you buy THIS???

 

[timolloyd]

Car parked outside the gates of a large house that’s clearly nothing to do with the vendor.

 

Tools or frankly anything left on the seats.

 

Clothes hanging in the background.

 

All of the above for maximum Run Away points.

[mrbenn]

A photograph of the instruments when the car is running, but the photo is taken in a way that nicely hides where the engine management/airbag lights are situated....

[Ghosty]

Any tactical angle, really.

It turns out the Accord I was looking at had made use of the shift lever to hide the fact that the 12v socket had been removed after melting part of the centre console somehow

[bramz7]

First to see will buy

[w00dy]

Low fuel warning light shown.

 

Terrible station displayed on the stereo.

 

Several air fresheners hanging from the RVM.

 

Interior photos taken through the glass.

[NorthernMonkey]

First to see will buy

Usually ‘ScrapCarsBought4Cash247’

[oldcars]

Tyres not slicked. Can't think of anything worse 

[cort16]

Pictures taken at a car wash

The phrase “just needs a service”

[Zelandeth]

My keys are all separate these days - though that's mainly because the keyring was getting unmanageable with them all on there and I didn't want to wind up scratching up the paint around the locks or the steering column shroud with the huge flail of keys.

 

Especially with the van...the ring for that contains I think it's eight keys in total for all the lockers etc.

 

Engine bays that have obviously *just* been steam cleaned is always something that rings alarm bells for me on a private sale.  Trade less so, mainly because when I was in the trade that was done to every car that came in as part of the valet and prep before it went on sale.

 

...we did have a good reputation though and tried very hard to make that remain the case!  As such any leaks that did turn up within a few months of buying a car we'd normally just sort without question.

[AMC Rebel]

Cheap fix...

I haven't tested....

Will sail through....

 

Any Ad that starts "here we have.."

 

Any tool who goes on about how wonderful that particular type of car is.

[sierraman]

I’d certainly not discount a car being sold by a trader, the average private seller isn’t above lying his arse off or covering problems up. Anyway, warning signs for me are the following...

 

Untidy shit tip gardens or cars parked on what should be the lawn

 

Ads that tell you nothing other than it’s got electric windows etc.

 

Photo taken at the local Kurdistan Car Wash

 

Bad English in adverts

 

Photos of the dash with a pair of legs in some Adidas jogging bottoms in the foreground

 

Milk cartons full of water in the boot, ditto litre bottles of oil and long since empty bottles of turbo cleaner

 

Maps of Africa on the seat

 

Cars for sale in iffy places like Sunderland or Rotherham.

 

Shit mods like painted brake drums or Lexus lights - sure sign some wally has had it

 

The enthusiastic but clearly incompetent DIY home mechanic. Great if they know what they’re doing but 75% of the time they’re fucking clueless. Everything is done up to 600NM.

 

People wanting top dollar to recoup every shilling they’ve ever spent on the car.

 

Those immortal words... ‘It’s never needed a service’

 

I’ll think of some more I’ve seen examples of hundreds over the years.

[lesapandre]

Service history mentioned in ads that turn out to be only a 5 year old receipt for two bulbs, a cheap battery, a tyre, and a thermostat.*

 

Clearly cut and pasted waffle about the uniqueness of the Tyopet Candyfloss.*

 

Automatics with a couple of empty auto fluid bottles in the boot.*

 

*Happy to ignore these if very cheap tho.

[D Spares & Tyres]

All of the above, plus:

 

 

Anything that looks like Stuboy got at it.

 

 

Vauxhall badge on front

[Bianconeri]

Here we have

I am told

Easy fix

Parts available on eBay for 

Just needs a service

Standard car except

Full VOSA history

One of these made £10,000,000 recently

 

Anything with a history of the model copied from Wikipedia or similar

Anything with an inane description of Lord Snooty buying the car from R Slicker Motors 

[Tamworthbay]

‘Slight water leak’ followed by ‘I have tightened the top hose’

[Wack]

Anybody that obscures the number plates so you can't check the MOT history

[Kiltox]

HENCE SPARES OR REPAIR... RUNS AND DRIVES MINT.... ENGINE KNOCKS SLIGHTLY

 

(Exact quote not three different things - the hence xxxx being first is vital)

[wuvvum]

Shit mods like painted brake drums or Lexus lights - sure sign some wally has had it

I painted the brake drums on the silver Rover.  With the 17" alloys on, the brake drums were clearly visible, and as they were rusty as f*ck when I bought the car I thought a lick of paint would improve matters.

 

Although maybe* I'm just a wally.

[AMC Rebel]

 

 

 

Everything is done up to 600NM.

 

 

 

or 2NM

[Schaefft]

"ABS light on, doesn't affect the drive"

 

It does when that guard rail you just crashed into comes through the windshield you ******. Apart from that any ad really that is clearly written by a moron, which are 90% of ads on Gumtree. I usually still buy the car because its the only one for sale this year.

[clayts450]

(1) Completely unidentifiable landmarks in the photo so you can't do a sneaky drive-by. I went through every photo imaginable in an ad for a Rover 45 trying to identify just something which would lead me to think 'that's a genuine trader' - no joy.

 

 

(2) Gumtree ads where the seller of the car is a modern sounding female (sad to sell my lovely car, etc etc), but when you click on the 'see other ads' you discover "Tracy" is actually Mike Brewer in drag and asks 'which car' in a Barbara-the-taxi-driver voice when you ring up.

 

 

[Split_Pin]

Cars with excessively untidy interiors, coke cans still in the cup holders, car generally unprepared for sale.

 

Pictures that were taken months ago or more, immediately after the one time the car was washed in its entire current ownership.

 

Sentences that end with 'nothing major' in the description.

 

Discarded clothing on the back seat.

 

Random people standing around in the background who look like they would all come out and watch as you viewed the car.

 

Dashboard pics taken from the driver's seat with the vendors knees in the picture.

 

Totally agree with what others have said. My own pet hates from others suggestions would be plates obscured, photographed at a shit car wash or on what was once a front lawn.

[cort1977]

Car photographed in a white room with rising sun flag on the wall.

[lesapandre]

Cars advertised as once owned by the first wife of a minor celebrity who is now*

 

*in prison, dead, not funny, so obscure I had to look up on wilkipedia, member of the aristocracy etc.

[Braddon81]

"Great runner"..... Then pictured with a missing front towing eye cover.....

[pandamonium]

Fucking filthy interiors. Yeah, so the car is cheap, but a vacuum and some baby wipes would take 5 minutes and about a quid.