What makes you grin? Antidote to grumpy thread

[Richard]

That's lovely!

 

RE: Viz stuff, can anyone remember the 'serial killer monthly' magazine ad they did? ''the results of our poll- you don't have to be a long distance lorry driver, but it helps!'' Cracked me up every time.

How many prostitute-murdering lorry drivers have there been? They have been a Viz staple for years but the only one I can think of is Peter Sutcliffe.

[Station]

I seriously lol'd at this!

 

More prank Videos

[messerschmitt owner]

the football score! It was great!

[outlaw118]

For all football fans....and fans of rudeness and swearing.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VAEzGighA-A

 

Not for kids, office use, those offended by words like wank and fuck.

[warren t claim]

Cowboy wheel clampers will be banned from operating on private land under Government plans to end a practice which has been condemned as ‘legalised mugging’.

 

Motoring organisations have been deluged with complaints about rogue clampers who fail to properly display parking regulations – then charge extortionate fees to free vehicles.

 

 

More than 1,900 companies have the power to hit drivers for up to £800 a time to release cars left ‘too long’ in supermarket, hospital or railway station car parks.

 

 

Apologies it's from the Daily Hate.

 

I may have to adjust my rating of Cameron down from "cunt" to just "twat" if he gets this legislation through.

[lancashireclamper]

That's lovely!

 

RE: Viz stuff, can anyone remember the 'serial killer monthly' magazine ad they did? ''the results of our poll- you don't have to be a long distance lorry driver, but it helps!'' Cracked me up every time.

Wasn't there a one off strip called 'Laurie Driver' featuring a bearded HGV driver of a sutcliffesk appearance,

Seem to recall him teaching a novice the ropes along the lines of clutch clutch choke throttle throttle choke; now wrap her in a carpet and dump it in a layby,

 

Sheer class.

[warren t claim]

That's lovely!

 

RE: Viz stuff, can anyone remember the 'serial killer monthly' magazine ad they did? ''the results of our poll- you don't have to be a long distance lorry driver, but it helps!'' Cracked me up every time.

Wasn't there a one off strip called 'Laurie Driver' featuring a bearded HGV driver of a sutcliffesk appearance,

Seem to recall him teaching a novice the ropes along the lines of clutch clutch choke throttle throttle choke; now wrap her in a carpet and dump it in a layby,

 

Sheer class.

Yes there was! He used to be my Avatar on here! I might start using that one again now.

[lancashireclamper]

Thanks Warren haven't been looking at your avatars for a while, what with the court case coming up in a few weeks I've got to be careful about whats on my hard drive

[warren t claim]

Thanks Warren haven't been looking at your avatars for a while, what with the court case coming up in a few weeks I've got to be careful about whats on my hard drive

Yes. I'm sure yours isn't as bad as this "Steady Eddie" drivers though.

 

http://www.newsandstar.co.uk/news/cumbr ... rPath=home

 

Not all truckers are Murderers. Some are paedos as well. I hope this prick gets what's coming to him.

[mattblack]

What made me grin the other night was the O/H anouncing that the 2 women on the latest 'Halifax' TV ad appear to have the hots for each other... when I had already come to the same conclusion.

[scaryoldcortina]

Cowboy wheel clampers will be banned from operating on private land under Government plans to end a practice which has been condemned as ‘legalised mugging’.

 

Motoring organisations have been deluged with complaints about rogue clampers who fail to properly display parking regulations – then charge extortionate fees to free vehicles.

 

 

More than 1,900 companies have the power to hit drivers for up to £800 a time to release cars left ‘too long’ in supermarket, hospital or railway station car parks.

 

 

Apologies it's from the Daily Hate.

 

I may have to adjust my rating of Cameron down from "cunt" to just "twat" if he gets this legislation through.

well, I have a story about that that might raise a smile or two. Back in about 1990 I was young, skint, and running cheap as disposable cars. Only change now is I'm not that young anymore... I parked in a lane in Newcastle, came back to a wheelclamp. Two guys got out of a transit while I was looking at the clamp and going WTF?, informed me that it was private land, I needed to pay £110 on the spot to release my car. O rly? I says I'm not paying. they say we will keep your car then. I threw them the keys and got the bus home. I had paid £15 for the car, it was an '83 1300 maestro with no power, no tickover, an oil habit, minging inside, terminal rot and 3 bald tyres. Scrap was rock bottom at the time, I was having a hard time getting rid of it

[autofive]

What made me grin the other night was the O/H anouncing that the 2 women on the latest 'Halifax' TV ad appear to have the hots for each other... when I had already come to the same conclusion.

this one?

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1IN1OdYuax4

[trigger]

Is that the one where she hilariously drops a cup on the table Now you say it, I think they be into each other as well!

[meggersdog]

My wheelclamping story is not as good as scaryoldcortina's but we had to smile on the way home.Late 80's four of us went to Rock City in Nottingham and I was driving.Loads of cars were parked on some waste ground nearby so I did aswell.When we returned it was very dark and one of my mates needed a piss.He went round the passenger's side and pissed on the rear wheel looking down he noticed the wheel clamp.We all agreed he should carry on and piss all over the clamp.The clamper turns up we scraped the money together and gloveless he removes the clamp.

[wuvvum]

The Sunbeam Talbot 90.

 

That is all.

[warren t claim]

My wheelclamping story is not as good as scaryoldcortina's but we had to smile on the way home.Late 80's four of us went to Rock City in Nottingham and I was driving.Loads of cars were parked on some waste ground nearby so I did aswell.When we returned it was very dark and one of my mates needed a piss.He went round the passenger's side and pissed on the rear wheel looking down he noticed the wheel clamp.We all agreed he should carry on and piss all over the clamp.The clamper turns up we scraped the money together and gloveless he removes the clamp.

I've never been clamped myself but in '91 a gang of us were working on a building site in Wigan and one of the lads had his OMG RWD AE86 Corolla clamped on private land. In all fairness there were no signs there so he was unlawfully clamped. The clamper was given the option by the entire building site of either removing the clamp FOC or we will take it off with the whizzer and kick fuck out of him. He took the easy option. The security company put signs up the following day. I'm not proud of it but if the clamping company had put signs up then he would of parked elsewhere.

[Cavcraft]

Gardening, or 'yarding' to be precise. Started off with eff all except a bare ugly yard and have got this far at the moment...

 

202010/gardenagainjune182010011.jpg[/img]

 

Still expermenting with stuff hence some half arsed looking conifers, shrubs and flowers in places.

 

NB: England flag/s and trampoline are pre-requisits of living on a council estate.

[ChinaTom]

Where did you get that little shed? Wifey just walked by as I was looking at the pics and she saw it wants one.

[Cavcraft]

Got it off my neighbour but can ask where he had it from if you like?

[Conrad D. Conelrad]

Gardening, or 'yarding' to be precise.

Loving this - especially the conrod pot holders.

 

But what's that concrete and glass raised thing? Are you in the Royal Observer Corps?

[Cavcraft]

Some sort of lighting for the place below our back yard. Right pita but apparantly we can't get 'em shifted.

[Justin Case]

This looked promising

 

Promise fulfilled

[wuvvum]

On the subject of enjoyable drives, I had one of the most enjoyable drives of my life yesterday, driving this:

 

 

along here:

 

 

Somebody I know had bought the Sunbeam from Preston, and didn't want to drive it all the way back to Norfolk, so I offered to get it for him. I came back cross-country (Manchester - Chesterfield - Mansfield - Newark) and I'm glad I did - the road through the Derbyshire dales was completely traffic-free for most of the good bit, and the Sunbeam was enormous fun to drive in an old-fashioned kind of a way - more than enough power for the uphill bits, adequate brakes for the downhill bits and surprisingly good handling through the twisty bits. In fact it's the best mid-'50s car I've ever driven - I did 270 miles in it non-stop (bar a fuel stop at Kings Lynn) and got out the other end as fresh as if I'd done it in a Mondeo. In fact I want one, badly. Unfortunately my shite-buying budget won't quite stretch to a decent one.

[Pillock]

I recognise those lofty chevrons..... one of my favourite driving roads! When I picked the Golf up from sporty-shite I bought it back that way for twisty fun.

[dollywobbler]

Nice one Wuv. They're classy motors alright. Wuv's classic car transport service ltd!

[Pete-M]

Being they type of chap who actually enjoys a bit of secret hippy activity I wandered off to a nice quiet place this morning to watch the sunrise (Summer Solstice, y'see).

 

Was worth it.

 

[retrogeezer]

Great photos all....(sunrise/twisty roads etc)

[Guest]

Italian police movie soundtracks.

[barrett]

Italian police movie soundtracks.

Aye, I'll drink to that.

Loving the sunrise photos Pete, I was still stuck at work for that so I missed out

[CIH]

On the subject of enjoyable drives, I had one of the most enjoyable drives of my life yesterday, driving this:

 

 

along here:

 

 

Somebody I know had bought the Sunbeam from Preston, and didn't want to drive it all the way back to Norfolk, so I offered to get it for him. I came back cross-country (Manchester - Chesterfield - Mansfield - Newark) and I'm glad I did - the road through the Derbyshire dales was completely traffic-free for most of the good bit, and the Sunbeam was enormous fun to drive in an old-fashioned kind of a way - more than enough power for the uphill bits, adequate brakes for the downhill bits and surprisingly good handling through the twisty bits. In fact it's the best mid-'50s car I've ever driven - I did 270 miles in it non-stop (bar a fuel stop at Kings Lynn) and got out the other end as fresh as if I'd done it in a Mondeo. In fact I want one, badly. Unfortunately my shite-buying budget won't quite stretch to a decent one.

Can't recall the road (may have been the A34) but between Derby and Stockport there's a house in the middle of nowhere with literally a dozen or so derelict P7s I was going to stop and get piccys but it looked a little "dueling banjos"....