What makes you grin? Antidote to grumpy thread

[steve_earwig]

Oh no, more witchcraft. It's irradiating your brain you know, you should don a tinfoil hat pronto.

[Ghosty]

Reading my Old Speckled Hen can has taught me that it was first brewed for MG's 50th anniversary and it's named after an old MG factory runabout!

[fairkens]

saw this and had to laugh, hard not to admire the effort that must have gone into it

 

[SambaS]

Welding

[Lord Sterling]

Modern technology is pretty smart eh? Im 36 years old so not a complete old duffer, but get the feeling that I am falling behind it all.

 

My internet and phone has been down since Wednesday, and after poking around a bit, The France Telecom dude reckons the problem is with a buried cable somewhere and will need a digger and allsorts to fix it.....its not going to happen quickly.

 

In the meantime, my ISP has loaned me some wee gizmo, its a white thing the size of a pebble with some green lights on it and nothing more. It just sits on the desk blinking at me, yet somehow it harnesses the internet straight from the air and beams it directly into my laptop for use as normal.

SCIENCE, BITCHES!

Sounds like the SFR dongle that I got whilst out in France. It was a bit shit at first but I found an older dongle and put the sim from the new one in that. Somehow the internet was just that bit better in the area I was in and the having to sign in was eradicated. Sadly the expense of running the bastard thing hadn't changed.

[steve_earwig]

Mobile broafbean Interweb dingley dangle. I had to install one of them for someone over here last year. Well, first they gave me the computer which didn't work - ancient P4 XP, almost no ram, stuffed with hundreds of daft games that were all set to start up on boot, so obviously it didn't. HDD had never been defragged either. Cleared all that out, managed to find some more ram, took it back, "we were trying to get this to work" *handed dongle* - WTF is this? I tried to install it there, no chance, so I took it home again. Completely pathetic program running it, maybe it would work better on something newer but just locks the pc up while it thinks about doing something. Managed to install it, took it back to them and didn't feel so bad about charging for it for once.

 

 

Welding

Plumbing 

[HillmanImp]

I must have seen that polo about 30 times in the last few weeks, never in the same place. It's like he is following me. If so he should have used a less conspicuous vehicle.

[cort16]

Welding

 

Was it you who mentioned the were going to do a course in welding? If so what was it like?

[dave21478]

This giant, funny coloured chicken turned up at the farm the other day and refuses to piss off.

 

 

 

 

I shall call him Kevin.

[steve_earwig]

Bleurgh, bloody peacocks. They look nice but you'd probably be better off eating it (they're a kind of goose). When I first came here I was staying in a house with a pair of peacocks in the garden, the male (what you have here) used to sit on the roof squawking and wait for someone to come out of a door, whereupon he'd swoop down like a stuka and try and knock your head off. The female was quite innocuous most of the time, however in mating season she'd sit on the ledge outside the bedroom windows making a noise like someone jumping up and down on a set of bagpipes, all day, starting at first light.

[daveb47]

A motorist stopped his car on a motorway claiming the dashboard display had alerted him to an impending "fire" - when it was actually the name of a song playing on the stereo.

The motorist told traffic officers he thought the onboard computer was warning him the vehicle was close to bursting into flames.

It turned out he was looking at the name of a song he was listening to at the time - Adele's Set Fire To The Rain.

 

 

 

Some people should not be driving....

[Semi-C]

Feminine hygeine tips from The Artful Dodger & Craig David.

 

From the front to the back

When wiping your crack

You know, that's how a Lady doesn't soil her flaps.

 

Wise words.

[Semi-C]

^

Hardly current affairs I know but, seeing as I have been subjected to "whoop whoop KISStory on Kiss FM", I thought I owe it to myself to make the best of a bad situation.

[Stanky]

Bleurgh, bloody peacocks. They look nice but you'd probably be better off eating it (they're a kind of goose). When I first came here I was staying in a house with a pair of peacocks in the garden, the male (what you have here) used to sit on the roof squawking and wait for someone to come out of a door, whereupon he'd swoop down like a stuka and try and knock your head off. The female was quite innocuous most of the time, however in mating season she'd sit on the ledge outside the bedroom windows making a noise like someone jumping up and down on a set of bagpipes, all day, starting at first light.

Chris P thinking.JPG

 

This might sound daft, but until a couple of years ago I didn't realise Peacocks could fly. I knew they had wings but assumed that they were probably a bit like ostriches and that they were too heavy to get airborne, thinking their wings were in the process of evolving into hands or tentacles or something else entirely.

 

Imagine my shock when one took flight about 3 feet in front of me one day, sounding like a bloody chinook taking off and blowing dust and gravel everywhere in the process! Luckily the cloud of dust concealed my rapid exit with severely brown trousers.

 

I now give them a wide berth...

[cms206]

A mate of mine just posted this on facebook...
 

"My car's in for it's MOT and I'm informed it needs new shoes

I'm really hoping I dropped off my car and not my missus as I've paid for it to get serviced as well!"

[fordperv]

Looked through the window into my back yard and a family of birds who live in a bush by my fence were having a dust bath just in front of it, so damn cute

[Gerald]

I had a cursetomer at work this morning who wanted a hand into her car with a few bits; No problem says I, Which car is it? ...

 

It's that convertible Beetle there, says she...

 

I scratch my bonce and ask if she's sure...

 

'Of course', she says, 'let me just move the teddy bear's picnic off the back seat…'

 

Unfazed, I move plastic crockery, coats and a miniature tea service into the footwell...

 

Here's the result, 6 sq/m of lamimate, sink, taps and sundries and a 1000 BU in a beetle...

 

[Noel Tidybeard]

Probably the most surprising car I have seen sporting pressed steel plates!

 

i always think these have a '70s flavour at the back

[Angrydicky]

Just popped down to the cashpoint in the Maestro. When I got back to it, a young Indian guy was looking all around it and asked me what year it was. When I said it was 1985 he asked if I'd owned it from new! I told him I wasn't that old! (I'm 23)

 

Still, nice to see it attracting nice comments and he did compliment me on how smart and well kept it is

[Sloth in a bowl]

Mad, swearing, giggling, Irish, rallyists

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G2b0bzUYq8Y&src_vid=BKsyvh_G4VY&feature=iv&annotation_id=annotation_2733421757

[Noel Tidybeard]

the interior light on my mk1 sierra is now working for the first time in my 13 years of having it, i have never taken a look at it over the years but i was pottering about it earlier looking for jobs and decided to have a look 

yeah they were always a bit french in their work ethic- change one foe a maestro/montego one once cos they are brighter and work more often

[Cavcraft]

'Update on Bob, Bob doing really well. Infection gone. Off the insulin infusion. But still having insulin injections as bloods still not right, Bob had his bag packed in case they said he could come home. Not aloud home yet!! Hoping he is by the week-end. (Wifey)'

 

 

I can't wait for the cockney Ford fetishist to be back on here!

[Negative Creep]

Sold the Celica to a Pole who is apparently driving back home in it tomorrow! It's a good car and has been reliable but I don't think I'd ever buy a car with such a journey in mind the next day. I was a bit apprehensive that he'd be thew type to turn up with some dodgy mates and offer £200 but no such problems and I let it go for £500. Still represents a rather thumping loss considering the new brakes I had to buy, and whilst it was competent I never really got on with it. Still, the 406 is proving to be an absolute cracker

[Lord Sterling]

I drove to Germany this evening in a P12 Nissan Primera TD like this one:

 

 

6-speed manual, same colour as above, really nice car albeit in a bit of a shitey condition, 3 x poundland (or rather €uroland) wheel trims, squeeky windows up at the front and the SatNav didn't work. Plus the airbag light was flashing and the engine light was on.

 

Despite that, it cruised rather nicely from Belgium through Holland and onto Germany. Stuck the brakes on through one rather cobbled and hilly street in Aachen andnheard a bit of grinding, a bit like the ABS was trying to work but I had no more issues after that.

 

I liked the centre-console and centre-placed clocks. The radio, screen, AC etc.. are all within easy reach. It's handling around town felt nice and precise but the turning circle was a bit shite to be honest. I liked having a 6-speed box but engaging the reverse takes a bit of getting used to if your not familiar with one of these type of lifting to engage boxes, thankfully I am as I've driven these before.

 

The seats were Ok but could be better, if anyone complained of backache after a long journey in one of these I'd understand, thankfully I suffered nowt.

 

All in all it's a nice all round car, a comfortable and willing long-distance cruiser. Its certainly a car thats now on my radar if I do hopefully end up here in Brussels for good.

[Bucketeer]

I sometimes think Richard Porter is a member on here.

 

 

 

http://sniffpetrol.com/2014/07/22/new-anniversary-edition-mini/

 

Some off the stuff mentioned on the GJOS podcasts makes me think they are at least aware of this odd little beige internook.

[Noel Tidybeard]

I drove to Germany this evening in a P12 Nissan Primera TD like this one:

 

 

6-speed manual, same colour as above, really nice car albeit in a bit of a shitey condition, 3 x poundland (or rather €uroland) wheel trims, squeeky windows up at the front and the SatNav didn't work. Plus the airbag light was flashing and the engine light was on.

 

Despite that, it cruised rather nicely from Belgium through Holland and onto Germany. Stuck the brakes on through one rather cobbled and hilly street in Aachen andnheard a bit of grinding, a bit like the ABS was trying to work but I had no more issues after that.

 

I liked the centre-console and centre-placed clocks. The radio, screen, AC etc.. are all within easy reach. It's handling around town felt nice and precise but the turning circle was a bit shite to be honest. I liked having a 6-speed box but engaging the reverse takes a bit of getting used to if your not familiar with one of these type of lifting to engage boxes, thankfully I am as I've driven these before.

 

The seats were Ok but could be better, if anyone complained of backache after a long journey in one of these I'd understand, thankfully I suffered nowt.

 

All in all it's a nice all round car, a comfortable and willing long-distance cruiser. Its certainly a car thats now on my radar if I do hopefully end up here in Brussels for good.

i would imagine if it was wearing steels it hasnt got satnag

i had a 2.0 pez with cvt- still one of may faves just watch out for dodgey earths on rear lights which make the dash board go a bit blackpool!

[Lacquer Peel]

Some off the stuff mentioned on the GJOS podcasts makes me think they are at least aware of this odd little beige internook.

He posts on MacDroitwich, a lot of the humour* crosses over between the forums.

[Alexg]

A grin, not sure really? But a clear Autoshite reference on Pistonheads SOTW...

 

http://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?h=0&f=23&t=1427004&mid=0&i=0&nmt=RE%3A+Shed+Of+The+Week%3A+Audi+A2&mid=0

[Jon]

I'm in the AA over here and if you're a member (or even if you're not), you can pick up an AA Smartfuel card free of charge and then use it to save a few cents on your fuel purchase, every time you spend $40 or more at the pump at a BP or Caltex (Texaco equivalent). You can also accumulate the points, too, to splurge all in one go. At BP, it's 4c off a litre and at Caltex, 6c a litre, redeemable for up to 50 litres.

 

In the beginning, I'd just redeem the 6c each time and save maybe $2 (back when petrol was $2 or under a litre - it's now $2.20+) and pick up an effectively free cherry Dr Pepper which our local Caltex sometimes sells. However, I then did mingebag maths and worked out that my 6c a litre was actually worth $3.00 if I were to save it up and spend it on 50 litres every once in a while (point expire after 2 months). Which is how I came to drop 50 litres of finest high octane 91 (!!) in the Hiace and pay $42.95 for the privilege just now, saving $68.00 in the process.

 

In real money, I've just got 50 litres of petrol for £21.84. Since diesel's cheaper, I could have filled the Commodore for about £5! 

[beko1987]

Phew, dodged the no money bullet by washing my stepdads car on saturday and keep the £30 I owe him, I can haz fuel later! Fucking 5 week month...