What makes you grin? Antidote to grumpy thread

[chaseracer]

Had they hired the same one Mr The_Cat had?

[catsinthewelder]

I had an embarrassing moment with the minibus run recently where we couldn't get the side door on the LDV open to let the kids out and violence was required to open the rear door.

 

Much greasing of mechanisms has taken place over the last month and they are now spot on.

[cms206]

This parked in a housing estate in Dundee yesterday. Just superb.

[brickwall]

Nice toilet paper wheel arches.

[Mr Lobster]

Wasps don't like used engine oil.....

 

 

Small people found a relatively small wasps nest on the wooden house they have in the garden.  Now some people would contact some sort of pest controller but I thought there might be an autoshite solution.

 

I gave it a good looking at and it only appeared to have one wasp buggering around building it and as it was only the size of a tennis ball I decided on the following course of action.

 

1. Find small container

2. 3/4 fill small container with used engine oil

3. Lift aforementioned container to nest, dislodging nest and allowing it to drop into the oily goo.

4. Place container on floor. Find piece of wood.

5. Smash wasp nest and wasp to buggery with wood. 

6. Seal lot in separate tub for responsible* disposal at the tip tomorrow.

[Cavcraft]

I don't want to urinate on your fried potato slices, but if I ever hear of a bloke going to A&E with multiple engine oil burns and wasp stings I might just as well tell you I'm going laugh my knackers off. No offence.

[Mr Lobster]

Yeh, it did occur that there was a tiny* possibility that it could all go very horribly wrong and if it had been any bigger or heavily populated I'd either have got a professional waspist to sort it or burnt half the garden down. As it looked fairly small then I reckoned it was worth a go.

[Spiny Norman]

This is just ace.

[HillmanImp]

I have found wasp nests that big before. I just wait for the wasp building it to leave and then remove it. When it comes back and flies ariund for ages looking confused i generally feel bad as its quite an impressive structure but it never normally builds there again.

[dave21478]

re wasps - white spirit in a squirty bottle fucks them up.

 

In summer time my local scrapyard hands out bottles of white spirit if you ask them as the place is absolutely hoaching with wasps. I only found this out when I was trying to remove a door from a pug 106 and got stung about half a dozen times in a few minutes by the very angry wasps living in the car next to me. I gave up and retreated and the dude asked me why I hadnt taken the door. I explained the wasps and he said "ah, you should have said earlier...here, take this"

A few squirts into the door gap they were coming out of left me in relative peace to finish the job.

[Station]

I'm sure I once put my head into a car through the window in a scrap yard and saw the scrap yard dog sitting in the back seat?

[burraston2006]

Re wasp nest:

 

Once had one the size of a football in the hedge. Usual autoshite solution speak to the giffer next door over a tinny or two and decided the following action:

1. Donned full protective gear( old set of overalls and a head scarf and ski gloves with marigold liners ( can't be too careful!))
2. had another tin of beer
3. Sprayed the nest with aerosol bitumen found at the back of old giffers shed
4. It was getting warm in the bio hazard suit so we had another tin of beer whilst watching the returning wasps get glued to the bitumen
5. Placed the wasp nest in an old stainless steel baine-marie and had another tin of beer whilst looking for matches
6. Set fire to nest with fresh tin of beer in hand in case of the resulting inferno getting out of hand
7. Hide black baine-marie for wife in the back of the shed ( where she never went) and deny all knowledge when she asks for it
8. Me and old giffer celebrate success with an amble to the local pub.

Bloody lovely sunny afternoon, several beers and a few less bxstard wasps in the garden. Surely the perfect afternoon?!

[Cavcraft]

For smaller amounts an uncleaned empty-ish jam car half filled with water sometimes works. Stupid wasps smell jam, stupid wasps try to get jam from bottom of jar. Stupid wasps drown.

I can also confirm writing a message left with a stone on top saying 'wasps, danger of drowning' doesn't make any difference. They either can't be arsed reading it or they're dyslexic or foreign or something. Fucking Polish wasps taking all our stings.

[Louise2cv]

Not really making me grin but not sure where else to put this. A is for Autoshite. A is for Armenia.

 

 

 

[trigger]

The bloke with the Jensen seems like a total cock end.

[Louise2cv]

My dad had one of those flame wand thing for burning weeds. He found a (pretty big as it happens) wasp nest in the garden with it. I'd never seen him run before.

[messerschmitt owner]

my fleet insurance policy has come down £200 this year! That means I can add another car to the policy.

[Bren]

Your Mondeo TDCi Econetic just doesn't have the same sense of occasion when you start it:

 

Thinking of making my own video "vauxhall vectra cdti - smoky and flamy cold start."

 

To be honest, when I saw the smoke, I assumed one of you guys had hired it to get rid of a wasp's nest.

[DSdriver]

Searching for a bunch of misplaced car keys we found £3.90 and a 12" steel ruler down the sides of the chair and micrometer calipers under some papers in my office. The keys, of course, were hanging on the hook where they used to be kept before we got a key safe so that I wouldn't keep losing them.

[Junkman]

The bloke with the Jensen seems like a total cock end.

 

Yeah, falling in love with a woman who owns a Mini would never happen to me.

[Negative Creep]

Sold the Volvo 48 hours after putting it on Autotrader. Middle aged couple came down from Weston Super Mare and bought it for the wife to drive around in. That was a genuinely cracking car and it really would have been sensible to keep it, but where's the fun in that?

[cort16]

That program about the Kelpies on TV last night. Weld porn.

I know they costs a lot of money and they don't actually do anything but it's the ability to build this kind of thing just to gawp at the seperate us from the squirrels.

 

 

 

 

[155V6]

Sold the Volvo 48 hours after putting it on Autotrader. Middle aged couple came down from Weston Super Mare and bought it for the wife to drive around in. That was a genuinely cracking car and it really would have been sensible to keep it, but where's the fun in that?

Gutted you've sold this,was trying to get the cash together but didn't want to say anything until I'd sorted it out 

[Spiny Norman]

I love these huge metal sculptures that they're putting up now. I remember going to see the Angel of the North not long after it was put up and just standing underneath it saying "fucking hell that's big" a lot.

 

The fact they seem to annoy some 'arty' types is a bonus.

[Junkman]

my fleet insurance policy has come down £200 this year! That means I can add another car to the policy.

 

What's causing the delay then?

[M'coli]

 

The one on the left: "Aw naw, no' again; he always starts the singin' efter a coupla bevvies..."!

[cort1977]

I love these huge metal sculptures that they're putting up now. I remember going to see the Angel of the North not long after it was put up and just standing underneath it saying "fucking hell that's big" a lot.

 

The fact they seem to annoy some 'arty' types is a bonus.

I remember going to see it a couple of days after it was put in and before they landscaped the area.    Someone had sprayed 'the angel ate my hamster' on the concrete base.

[dollywobbler]

I like the Angel's local name - the Gateshead Flasher.

[vulgalour]

The Princess is in print!  For those who haven't yet read an edition of Motorpunk magazine you should, it's free and it's pretty good covering all sorts of interesting and unusual things.

 

http://www.joomag.com/magazine/motorpunk-may-2014/0142566001399463341

 

I really should talk about the mag more, I do enjoy reading it and the folk involved clearly put a good amount of time and passion into the publication.

[HMC]

Just had a read through, thanks for the link. Nice article of yours! Have to say ive not heard of that mag before. My acid test of what a car mag thinks its about is to go straight to the staff cars bit and have a browse. Quite a selection!