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What makes you grin? Antidote to grumpy thread


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Posted

They might have to use euros if the silly sausages vote for independence.

 

Is this a square sausage pun? is that where the term comes from?

Posted

You'll be able to get 1 trillion scotcho dollars (with my face on the note) for a pound in about 3 years time

Posted

Understanding reed valves and power valves.

  • Like 2
Posted

If we Scots get independance then the national currency will become Haggis with a picture of a wee furry creature in a tartan bobble hat. There will be 50 Porridge oats to a Haggis, and 73 Haggis to a TinOfShotbread.
I know all this because Alex Salmond told me so down the pub last night. 

  • Like 8
Posted

Princess booked in for suspension pump on Friday.  I don't even care that it's an early morning appointment, I'm just super happy that I get my car sorted finally!  Put some fuel in and pumped my tyres up to celebrate on the way back from the garage that's pumping her up.  Suppose I better give her a wash.

Posted

Just found this on the Imp Club website.

 

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2510528/Eerie-remnants-Worcestershire-farmhouse-abandoned-20-years-ago.html

Sorry for the Daily Fail link, I cant remember who to link to their website without actually sending you there. There is a way in order to stop them thinking people actually think they are a worthy news source. 

 

Old boy leaves his house in 1990 and there is loads of old chod rotting away. What makes me grin though is the fact that they need to say what the picture shows directly underneath it:

 

article-2510528-198880FC00000578-521_964

 

A cream Citroen DS, with its shattered windscreen and crumpled bonnet - is a sad shadow of its former self

 

article-2510528-198880A400000578-704_964

 

An eerie carpet of green moss and mould now covers this once impressive motor

 

article-2510528-198880A800000578-843_964

 

Stuck record: An old record player has been left propped against this dilapidated car

 

Fuck me, I thought it was a cheesegrater sodomising a dead donkey with a dead dogs dick for the amusement of the queen whilst Richard Branston and Noel Edmonds argued of who had the tidiest beard. It was a close call though between that or a record player propped up against a dilapidated DAFfodil.  

 

Thanks for telling me what my eyes can see. 

Posted

I'm actually surprised that 23 years is long enough to leave the cars looking that bad. Maybe they were neglected before the old boy left.

Posted

THIS:

 

 

Although 97 horsepower sounds a bit low for a double-decker...

  • Like 1
Posted

its all about the torque baby !!

 

What engines did those old  busses have? Gardener 5 pot?

Posted

its all about the torque baby !!

 

What engines did those old  busses have? Gardener 5 pot?

Nah, no Gardner engines in London, only the provinces had to make do with them. That's an RTL so it would have a Leyland 600 I think and the RTs had an AEC 7.7.

  • Like 1
Posted

STLs had an AEC 7.7, which was actually 7.58 litres. No I don't know why either. RTs had a 9.6 and it sounds lovely. I think the song is more about the LT three axle jobs that London Transport had prewar though.Most were new with petrols but got retrofitted AEC 8.8s later on. The prewar range of diesels was pretty confusing as most manufacturers other than Gardner had trouble getting one that worked satisfactorily, or at all in some cases.

That Stackridge song is class!

Posted

A very rare moment of genuine amusement from Faceache:

 

FzuvmBOl.png

  • Like 2
Posted

My Otto Saph Cosworth is on the way. 

1. Saph Cosworth model (sold out within hours)
2. Wait a month for the Christmas season

3. OSF scene-tax
4. Ebay frenzy
5. ????????

6. Profit. 

Posted

I got Star Find in this months Practical Classic with me Aussie scrapyard photos in the Rust in Peace..id totally forgotten Id sent them...so walking out of WH Smith and seeing that was inspiring....wheres me 50squid guys..

  • Like 8
Posted

Following an old Sierra on the M25 that was popping massive flames every time the driver backed off. Must have been at least an LX because it had two spoilers , oh and it left me for dead when the traffic in the Audi lane cleared.

Made me smile,probably caused people to call the fire brigade when 3 foot long flames almost melted their number plates when he cut across onto the M1.

Posted

Spending £45 and an early morning start is not normally something that would make me happy but it was totally worth it given how smoothly the Princess now drives.  I hadn't realised it was wonky, nor that there was really anything wrong with the suspension at all until now, it's absolutely sublime.  I may go out and have a little drive later FOR NO REASON.

  • Like 2
Posted

Spending £45 and an early morning start is not normally something that would make me happy but it was totally worth it given how smoothly the Princess now drives.  I hadn't realised it was wonky, nor that there was really anything wrong with the suspension at all until now, it's absolutely sublime.  I may go out and have a little drive later FOR NO REASON.

Do you sometimes park on hills for no reason,just so you can pull the handbrake on and it do that funny lift at the rear? I would if I had a Princess.

  • Like 2
Posted

 

Excel Club – Grab Your Place

For The Next Session

 

 

On Monday 25th November at 1:30pm, you can come along and spend 30 minutes improving your Excel skills with your colleagues with our next session of Excel Club in Meeting Room 1 in Marlow.

 

In this short meeting we’ll be looking at two topics that were asked when we all got together two weeks ago.

 

First up will be a Shortcut of the week, where you can discover a fast way to perform tasks that usually take much to long to do.

 

Next, we’re going to blow away the dark myths that seem to surround pivot tables; they’re a brilliant tool in sorting and summarising data in a worksheet or a database – and actually pretty easy to use. We’ll show you how and help you to quickly master them on Monday.

 

Remember, it doesn’t matter what your skill level is – you’re amongst friends at Excel Club and you’ll get help there and then to help you build your confidence in tackling spreadsheets.

 

 

Let us know if you would like to come along. Send a quick message to Pauline Cummings or Danielle Boyce, or use the link to the right.

 

See you Monday!

 

 

 

post-5612-0-23997500-1385132945_thumb.jpg

Posted

I imagine if autoshite was to start a clothes line, it would be what he is wearing.

Posted

If we're opening up some sort of found-in-a-jumble-sale Autoshite clothes line here, can I run the tasteless haute couture end of things?  I really want this suit, this suit is amazing.

 

trend-de-man-african-prints-for-men-2012

Posted

All you would need is a bow on your head and you would be all wrapped up for christmas.

Posted

This made me smile!

We have some 'friends' who we see now and again. Nice enough folk with decent values. But have a 17 year old daughter who 'wants things'.

They have plenty of money, big house and all the usual trappings, but I thought, until recently that they were fairly down to earth....

Now it seems the daughter has decided she wants a Porsche as her first car! She hasn't even started driving lessons yet. :-/

Parents have expressed an interest in my restored 944 as her 'first car'. Can't think of anything more unsuitable for a teenage girl than a 25 year old car, but what do I know?

Sounds crazy to me, but if they want to buy it would it be wrong to sell it to them?

 

Edit.

Probably the result of being old, but WTF? Teenage girl wants a Porsche, parents look at buying her one, she also runs up mobile phone bills of around £400 a month also..... They pay it.

Old fart mode engaged.

  • Like 1
Posted

No, as long as you replaced the engine with a Perkins Prima. One without a turbo obviously.

 

Incidentally, two cars on my first-car-want list were the Citroen 2CV and Land Rover Discovery Tdi. 

  • Like 1
Posted

I just didn't want an Austin A30 and was dead chuffed when my fifty squid got me a 1957 Moggie. Was quite a long time ago though...

Posted

Sounds crazy to me, but if they want to buy it would it be wrong to sell it to them?

 

If you're looking to sell and they have the cash, then there's no reason not to sell. I suppose you could remind them that she is more likely to kill herself and/or others in a 944 than in a 1-litre Corsa, but I doubt this will make them change their minds.

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