What makes you grin? Antidote to grumpy thread

[Guest Hooli]

Just think how much worse it'd be without...

[Datsuncog]

Just think how much worse it'd be without...

 

In my experience...

 

[Guest Hooli]

Two Woodpeckers

This Mexican woodpecker and a Canadian woodpecker were in Mexico arguing about which country had the toughest trees.

The Mexican woodpecker claimed Mexico had a tree that no woodpecker could peck.

The Canadian woodpecker accepted his challenge and promptly pecked a hole in the tree with no problem.
The Mexican woodpecker was amazed.

The Canadian woodpecker then challenged the Mexican woodpecker to peck a tree in Canada that was absolutely 'impeccable' (a term frequently used by woodpeckers).

The Mexican woodpecker expressed confidence that he could do it and accepted the challenge.

The two of them flew to Canada where the Mexican woodpecker successfully pecked the so-called 'impeccable' tree almost without breaking a sweat...


Both woodpeckers were now terribly confused.

How is it that the Canadian woodpecker was able to peck the Mexican tree, and the Mexican woodpecker was able to peck the Canadian tree, yet neither was able to peck the tree in their own country?

After much woodpecker pondering, they both came to the same conclusion:

Apparently, Tiger Woods and Shane Warne were right, when they said “your pecker gets harder when you're away from home”.

[Guest Hooli]

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because the "P" is silent.

[DeeJay]

In this weather I thank all that's holy (I'm not religious so choose your own holy) that I don't have vinyl seat covers.

[SiC]

It's about time the mainstream press started drumming this louder:

https://www.topgear.com/car-news/opinion/opinion-why-too-much-horsepower-useless

 

Especially interesting that it's from a performance oriented site. Possibly because stuff like a Golf R will be reaching 400bhp soon.

[vulgalour]

Irony

 

That would be at least part of the problem, yes.

[meggersdog]

As a small child my family and I lived on the Isle of Wight in the early 1970's.In those days many holiday-makers got to the island by train and BR's Sealink ferry service.My mother worked in a hairdressers near Shanklin rail station and I remember (vividly now) teenage boys with homemade trollies and barrows loitering outside the station eagerly awaiting the holiday-makers "carry your cases, sir ?" "where are you staying? I'll show you there" they would badger.Shame Sealink stopped in '84. Imagine the young entrepreneurs if they had one of these.

https://online.handh.co.uk/m/lot-details/index/catalog/88/lot/41127/?url=%2Fm%2Fview-auctions%2Fcatalog%2Fid%2F88%2F%3Fpage%3D4

[Guest Hooli]

Random text so twattertalk allows me to post

[loserone]

It's about time the mainstream press started drumming this louder:

https://www.topgear.com/car-news/opinion/opinion-why-too-much-horsepower-useless

 

Especially interesting that it's from a performance oriented site. Possibly because stuff like a Golf R will be reaching 400bhp soon.

Dickie Meaden wrote the same thing in Evo yesterday. No link because shit phone browser.

[Pillock]

I hope it goes as well as possible, Nyphur. It's not an easy time so do whatever you need to.

[Guest Hooli]

Aye hope it goes well Nyphur.

 

I'll have two rules at my funeral no dressing up as a twat (suits) and the cheapest of everything possible as they are a total waste of money.

[The Moog]

Aye hope it goes well Nyphur.

 

I'll have two rules at my funeral no dressing up as a twat (suits) and the cheapest of everything possible as they are a total waste of money.

Are we going to be invited?

 

 

And can I suggest The Shadow car service for all your transportation needs..

[Guest Hooli]

Depends, I'm planning on living forever & so far it's gone to plan....

[Lord Sterling]

A chap who works at my old trade-plating company had been down on his luck lately. He left the company and came back as some other work he had lined up didn't come about.

I saw on the WhatsApp group we both belong to that he had little money and was feeling hungry and tired and still had a way to go before getting home. I invited him to mine, stuck a pizza in the oven, got kettle on and had a good chin wag about plating companies. I like helping people where I can.

[Tamworthbay]

A chap who works at my old trade-plating company had been down on his luck lately. He left the company and came back as some other work he had lined up didn't come about.

I saw on the WhatsApp group we both belong to that he had little money and was feeling hungry and tired and still had a way to go before getting home. I invited him to mine, stuck a pizza in the oven, got kettle on and had a good chin wag about plating companies. I like helping people where I can.

Karma likes shit like this mate. And kettle is always on if you are ever this way again.

[yes oui si]

This old boy... <3

His joints are stiff, he's so grey he looks like an inverted raccoon, he's quite deaf and a bit blind, he hates other dogs, and the vast majority of people... But he's my friend. And he still has it in him to pick fights with badgers, deer, foxes et cetera

 

[155V6]

This old boy... <3

 

His joints are stiff, he's so grey he looks like an inverted raccoon, he's quite deaf and a bit blind, he hates other dogs, and the vast majority of people... But he's my friend. And he still has it in him to pick fights with badgers, deer, foxes et cetera

 

What's his name?

[dome]

It's about time the mainstream press started drumming this louder:

https://www.topgear.com/car-news/opinion/opinion-why-too-much-horsepower-useless

 

Especially interesting that it's from a performance oriented site. Possibly because stuff like a Golf R will be reaching 400bhp soon.

I liked that which is ironic as my daily has 340bhp.

 

It's still no quicker than some modern diesels but I love it.

[yes oui si]

What's his name?

Dickhead or Princess, depending on his mood.

[John F]

Aye hope it goes well Nyphur.

 

I'll have two rules at my funeral no dressing up as a twat (suits) and the cheapest of everything possible as they are a total waste of money.

 

My two rules will be:

 

- No religion whatsoever

- Obligatory Jägermeisters for all attendees

[Exiled_Tat_Gatherer]

Bristol Uni students........ excellent karma and top youth do give a shit points to all of you..... they appreciate their Jamaican born cleaner. He's always a happy fella and doesn't believe those studying should be surrounded by bad vibes. They appreciate it all and have crowd funded for him and his wife to get back to see family this summer. He never mentioned it and didn't ask for it. It was purely a goodwill gesture from them all.

 

It seems all youth are not beyond help. My hat is doffed in true respect........

[DodgeRover]

Bristol Uni students........ excellent karma and top youth do give a shit points to all of you..... they appreciate their Jamaican born cleaner. He's always a happy fella and doesn't believe those studying should be surrounded by bad vibes. They appreciate it all and have crowd funded for him and his wife to get back to see family this summer. He never mentioned it and didn't ask for it. It was purely a goodwill gesture from them all.

 

It seems all youth are not beyond help. My hat is doffed in true respect........

Erm I really hope he did mention it! Otherwise crowd funding sending him and his wife home has a very different appearance?

[Exiled_Tat_Gatherer]

Return flights fella..... a holiday. I'm sure he must've mentioned not being able to afford said trip at some point.... otherwise they wouldn't have thought of that as a gift I'm sure.

 

Feel the positivity fella

[Guest Hooli]

We've sent your wife to the Caribbean.

 

Jamaica?

 

No, she wanted to go.

[wuvvum]

/\ FFS.

[wuvvum]

It's about time the mainstream press started drumming this louder:

https://www.topgear.com/car-news/opinion/opinion-why-too-much-horsepower-useless

 

Especially interesting that it's from a performance oriented site. Possibly because stuff like a Golf R will be reaching 400bhp soon.

 

Good article.  I particularly like this quote:

about as depressing as back-to-back Radiohead albums with a Morrissey chaser.

 

I'm going to have to use that.

[New POD]

I went for a walk last night.

I think this days it all about the British Yorkshire workforce.

 

[John F]

One square metre of 2mm plate steel to make Disco 2 chassis repair sections out of... £5 from my friendly local sheet metal suppliers

[chodweaver]

They're worth keeping in with! My local bunch (who all my chod bothering neighbours recommend) must see £ signs as soon as I walk in - 1x2 foot piece of 2mm, a tenner. (After much shouting "oi, Rog! 'Ow much for this piece?" and sucking of teeth.)

 

Fortunately I only had a fiver in my pocket, so the purchase was postponed. Possibly indefinitely. Or until their pricing ceases to be based upon how well spoken the customer is.

 

Grrr.