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What makes you grin? Antidote to grumpy thread

outlaw118

By outlaw118
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Guest Hooli

Guest Hooli

Posted
Posted

Shouldn't really laugh as it must be shit to happen, but I did LOL a bit at this earlier on the way to my lad's house...

 

 

 32644690_1829144854048129_10597764586641

 

something something hedgefund something

  • mrbenn, Cavcraft and DeeJay
  • Like 3
PhilA Rank: Lancia Gamma

PhilA

Posted
Posted

Not a good day for the boat owner, that looks like the original Ski Nautique USA built trailer which are not legal on UK roads. Part of that is they usually have a 2inch hitch rather than 50mm which could explain why it came off....

What's the other part of the reason for them being illegal to use in the UK? I'm curious.

 

Phil

somewhatfoolish Rank: Talbot Tagora

somewhatfoolish

Posted
Posted

Septic trailers sometimes have electric brakes which are verboten in the UK for reasons beyond logic, possibly also the requirement for auto-reverse brakes. If you swap the hitch to a 50mm one it will work, be safe and 99% of trafpol will ignore you if you behave and your towcar isn't a moving violation.

Tayne Rank: Matra Rancho towing a Tagora

Tayne

Posted
Posted

I have a massive file to copy and paste into another. It’s a list of about a quarter of a million phone numbers!

The file isn’t on excel so I can’t just select and copy the column, it’s on notepad for some reason (some people think it is cutting edge, Ho hum) so I need to sit here holding shift and page up. For a long time.

Got bored with that so in true autoshite fashion I came up with a cheap engineering fix. One bolt on the shift key, another on the page up key, and a phone resting on each to maintain the pressure. I can now sit and watch The Protectors instead!

 

A Quarter of a million phone numbers!

 

Are you involved in some sort of junk marketing scam to defraud pensioners with fake double glazing?

  • beko1987 and somewhatfoolish
  • Like 2
Kiltox Rank: Matra Rancho towing a Tagora

Kiltox

Posted
Posted

A Quarter of a million phone numbers!

 

Are you involved in some sort of theshadow/Cavcraft marketing scam to defraud pensioners by buying their Vauxhalls for £2.50?

Supernaut Rank: Talbot Tagora

Supernaut

Posted
Posted

A Quarter of a million phone numbers!

 

Are you involved in some sort of junk marketing scam to defraud pensioners with fake double glazing?

No, he tries to sell them new bathrooms.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

*hears a BMW 330 roar into his street, followed by footsteps up the garden path, promptly gets punched*

  • HarmonicCheeseburger
  • Like 1
Mr A Lawrence Rank: Citroen Ami

Mr A Lawrence

Posted
Posted

Had my mondeo on eBay for the last 5 days.

 

One guy contacted me to view and said he was very keen but then baulked as he couldn't insure it for his lad so no go.

 

Last night a woman came to view, brought her brother mechanic to check it over and took it round the block. 

 

Had it up for £1250.

 

Haggling went like this...

 

Her, I like it, would you take a grand for it?

 

Me, no, I can't take that big a hit on it. (Nearly said £1100)

 

Her, OK  £1250 it is. 

 

Ebay has redeemed it's self!!

PhilA Rank: Lancia Gamma

PhilA

Posted
Posted

Septic trailers sometimes have electric brakes which are verboten in the UK for reasons beyond logic, possibly also the requirement for auto-reverse brakes. If you swap the hitch to a 50mm one it will work, be safe and 99% of trafpol will ignore you if you behave and your towcar isn't a moving violation.

How quaint.

 

Phil

Tayne Rank: Matra Rancho towing a Tagora

Tayne

Posted
Posted

No, he tries to sell them new bathrooms.*hears a BMW 330 roar into his street, followed by footsteps up the garden path, promptly gets punched*

 

A. You can’t hear your own doorbell, you wouldn’t hear my car.

B. Seventy percent of custom by recommendation.

andy18s Rank: Lancia Gamma

andy18s

Posted
Posted

I have a massive file to copy and paste into another. It’s a list of about a quarter of a million phone numbers!

 

Is it the AS members list of signed up autobots?

anonymous user Rank: Isuzu Florian

anonymous user

Posted
Posted

I have a massive file to copy and paste into another. It’s a list of about a quarter of a million phone numbers!

 

The file isn’t on excel so I can’t just select and copy the column, it’s on notepad for some reason (some people think it is cutting edge, Ho hum) so I need to sit here holding shift and page up. For a long time.

 

Got bored with that so in true autoshite fashion I came up with a cheap engineering fix. One bolt on the shift key, another on the page up key, and a phone resting on each to maintain the pressure. I can now sit and watch The Protectors instead!

Why did you not use the nodding bird? It worked so well for Homer Simpson .

 

You aren't working at GCHQ by any chance, are you?

post-3477-0-29976400-1526495769_thumb.gif

  • somewhatfoolish, HarmonicCheeseburger and Parky
  • Like 3
richardmorris Rank: Matra Rancho towing a Tagora

richardmorris

Posted
Posted

I may be in this month’s practical classics.

post-8687-0-72805900-1526500555_thumb.jpeg

SiC Rank: Matra Rancho towing a Tagora

SiC

Posted
Posted

That is some JPEG artificating in that picture! It's like being back on the internet in 2001, while on freeserve dialup.

  • LightBulbFun
  • Like 1
wuvvum Rank: Matra Rancho towing a Tagora

wuvvum

Posted
Posted

On a 'couldn't get the phone out fast enough' moment. A gen-yew-whine Bugatti Veyron just trundled past. Surprisingly quieter than I'd have thought....... but great to see it being used on a normal road by some guy who obviously is winning at something. Kids at lights were going mental so he blapped it a bit...... my bits fizzed

Only time I've ever seen a Veyron on the road was about 9 years ago in a particularly wealthy part of Surrey.  It was waiting at a set of lights on a NSL dual carriageway.  Behind it was a late '80s Porsche 91, and behind that was me in a 1983 Renault 5 TL.

 

Lights went green, all three of us nailed it, and I was honestly closer to staying with the 911 in my 1108cc Renault than he was to keeping up with the Bugatti.  Extraordinary machine.

Parky Rank: Isuzu Florian

Parky

Posted
Posted

A Quarter of a million phone numbers!

Are you involved in some sort of junk marketing scam to defraud pensioners with fake double glazing?

Nope, this is the GDPR in full effect. I have a list of 1400 financial advisers to contact but have to make sure none of them are registered with the corporate telephone preference service before I call.

 

Of course the format we use for our numbers is different to the preference service file so an auto dedupe won’t work. FFS! I am altering our files to match theirs for future automatic checking (the pref service list changes every month)

 

It’s not difficult, just sooooo much data on screen. And it’s not a quarter of a million, it’s over two million as I found more files yesterday afternoon. Excel doesn’t seem to be able to cope with that many lines of code so i have had to spread the file over four worksheets. It is very slow and likes falling over!

wuvvum Rank: Matra Rancho towing a Tagora

wuvvum

Posted
Posted

That’s my friend Ragnar! A lovely chap ( these days).

"These days"?  Why, did he use to rape, pillage and drink apple brandy from the skulls of his enemies?

  • richardmorris, purplebargeken and AlabamaShrimp
  • Like 3
Parky Rank: Isuzu Florian

Parky

Posted
Posted

You forgot about the superbly designed boats and the epic poetry

dollywobbler Rank: Matra Rancho towing a Tagora

dollywobbler

Posted
Posted

"These days"?  Why, did he use to rape, pillage and drink apple brandy from the skulls of his enemies?

 

I just know him as 'Hairy Dave...'

  • richardmorris
  • Like 1
oldcars Rank: Lancia Gamma

oldcars

Posted
Posted

Shouldn't really laugh as it must be shit to happen, but I did LOL a bit at this earlier on the way to Central's TV studio in Leeds.

 

 

 32644690_1829144854048129_10597764586641

FIFY. You can't beat a bit of bully.

adw1977 Rank: Renault 16

adw1977

Posted
Posted

It’s not difficult, just sooooo much data on screen. And it’s not a quarter of a million, it’s over two million as I found more files yesterday afternoon. Excel doesn’t seem to be able to cope with that many lines of code so i have had to spread the file over four worksheets. It is very slow and likes falling over!

Excel will accept just over a million lines of data. I think Access will take more but I've always found that a pain to work with.

Parky Rank: Isuzu Florian

Parky

Posted
Posted

Tried breaking it into four separate sheets with half a million numbers in each.

 

Still tripping over itself non stop so have reverted to the mark one eyeball. Tedious but workIng. Have decided to get myself a number checked each day, make those calls, and then check the next batch ready for the next day and so on.

post-3538-0-64495600-1526570466_thumb.jpeg

  • somewhatfoolish
  • Like 1
PhilA Rank: Lancia Gamma

PhilA

Posted
Posted

Nope, this is the GDPR in full effect. I have a list of 1400 financial advisers to contact but have to make sure none of them are registered with the corporate telephone preference service before I call.

Of course the format we use for our numbers is different to the preference service file so an auto dedupe won’t work. FFS! I am altering our files to match theirs for future automatic checking (the pref service list changes every month)

It’s not difficult, just sooooo much data on screen. And it’s not a quarter of a million, it’s over two million as I found more files yesterday afternoon. Excel doesn’t seem to be able to cope with that many lines of code so i have had to spread the file over four worksheets. It is very slow and likes falling over!

visicalc-primera-hoja-de-calculo.jpg

 

You need to upgrade

  • myglaren, Datsuncog and clayts450
  • Like 3
Cavcraft Rank: Matra Rancho towing a Tagora

Cavcraft

Posted
Posted

Things that don't make sense, part no. 1,345:  A ship (presumably) full of Spanish cement heading towards Manchester on the MSC, today.

 

 

32918587_1829655947330353_36214800928588

PhilA Rank: Lancia Gamma

PhilA

Posted
Posted

post-5454-0-23588700-1526577764_thumb.jpg

 

Planted these 3 weeks ago. Now I have my first teeny tiny squash growing.

 

Phil

  • richardmorris, eddyramrod and vulgalour
  • Like 3

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