What makes you grin? Antidote to grumpy thread

[vulgalour]

First time I can recall seeing it.  On the MoT history it's only doing about 2k a year so the chances of actually seeing it out and about are probably fairly slim... providing the mileage stated is accurate, of course.

[bub2006]

Phone call from p.i.p. Been awarded enhanced mobility and standard care.

[dollywobbler]

Students all doing a practice exam so whilst I am idly browsing on AS I thought I would look at the most prolific posters. 

 

pogweasel is still 20th of all time! 

 

Can we lobby for him to come back? He was at Festival of the Unexceptional. IIRC, he only left because he had hit 10,000 posts. Some have obviously gone missing, so he might as well come back and try again. Besides, 10,000 clearly isn't that embarrassing...

[Ghosty]

Tempting..

As long as you don’t burst in to the presentation shouting ‘FATHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER’, that could work.

[The Moog]

Can we lobby for him to come back? He was at Festival of the Unexceptional. IIRC, he only left because he had hit 10,000 posts. Some have obviously gone missing, so he might as well come back and try again. Besides, 10,000 clearly isn't that embarrassing...

I thought he had just morphed into someone else. Didn't realise he just left.

[wuvvum]

I seem to recall he flounced after an argument rather than leaving because he'd posted too much.

[cort16]

It was a definite flounce

[Pillock]

VN the on the beetle makes it a local car (for local people)

It's a weird one, J plate makes it quite late for mainstream production, as soon as the Golf came out on an M you had to be proper weird to want a Beetle.

It's got Wide 5 stud wheels when they'd been 4 stud since 68, but late 70s bumpers. Just looks wrong.

[tommytwo]

Bren commented:

 

Esther Mc Vey as work and pensions secretary.

The only way she could be more unpopular on Merseyside is if she bought a newsagents and sold the sun.

 

Wonderful comment. I laughed my dick off!

[Noel Tidybeard]

Phone call from p.i.p. Been awarded enhanced mobility and standard care.

 

this means you can have an vauxhall mokkachino

[beko1987]

Tbh daz if you of all people get a 67 mokka/puke/insert_modern_here you'll not have the piss taken out of you*, infact I'd wager there will be a collective sigh of relief you have a fully warranted, not your issue modern finally!

 

 

 

*any more than usual anyhow

[bub2006]

I don't plan on a motability car. I'd be too scared of scratches,dents and mileage! The plan is this though,use the mobility side of pip to go into my spare empty account. That 55 a week will be used for the car only. Swap insurance to that bank account and have insurance come out and that's it. After all the mobility side of pip is for assistance with transport. Peugeot is going onto disabled tax. That way round I won't have access to the account either so I'll have my insurance paid for and x amount left over per week to keep building up. That will be used for MOT and repairs. If something went dramatically tits up and I didn't have the cash for it then I may be tempted to go get a motability car. But that is really scraping barrel for me as I wouldn't want to drive it!

[STUNO]

A huge thankyou to Jon of this parish. The Mazda failed its test for " rear brake imbalance" due to the rhs rear being nearly useless. The tester said the pads were nearly gone too. That could also have meant a caliper was misbehaving.

I decided to try to just replace the pads and see what happened. Jon was contacted and I went to his home for coffee and for him to help. He did all the work !!!!!! Me fairly incompetent  . A new set of pads and all felt right after a few hard stops, so back for a check and it passed happily.

 

I owe you Jon .

 

Bub, things are looking up, enjoy.

[beko1987]

From the state of motability cars I've seen if it looked like the old van at the end of the lease they probably wouldn't care...

 

Or they'd properly break your body, dunno how it works

[Jon]

. He did all the work !!!!!! Me fairly incompetent  .

 

Welcome to my world, when philibusmo comes round to 'help fix' stuff.....

[D Spares & Tyres]

Next door neighbour is a hateful old witch

 

Every Tuesday her daughter visits and when she leaves I often hear her say "see you next Tuesday"

 

Couldn't agree more

[bub2006]

A big thanks to Alcyonecorparation and chaseracer. Third time lucky!

[NorfolkNWeigh]

Got stopped by two heavily armed Policemen yesterday .

My crime?

Stupidity.

Luton airport has a system whereby you get charged £3.00 to drop off or pickup, this is enforced by barriers at the exit. Thing is these barriers are very slow and it's so tempting to tailgate the car in front...

Not that I've ever done it before, no siree Bob, first time ever.

Anyway a fully liveried X5 that I foolishly assumed was ther for something a bit more important chased me down the road and pulled me over, the Coppers checked the car over and even studied my exemption from displaying a plate letter. One of them was clearly annoyed and embarrassed to be dealing with a failiure to pay £3, the other was very keen , even saying shit like I could be arrested and my car impounded if I refused to pay the car park guys when they came. Not that I had, I just mentioned that I'd never agreed to the charge anyway and it was a dispute between them and me Not , I'd have thought a criminal matter warranting the time of two ( hopefully) highly trained specialist firearms officers.

When the carpark people arrived , they hadn't got a card machine and I had no cash, I thought about asking to borrow £3 off Starsky and Hutch but instead my passenger , who was pissing himself laughing throughout volunteered the £3.

Then unbelievably the Car park guy hadn't got a receipt, I didn't want one, but he wouldn't take the money , so it was a case of " Don't do it again, piss off" from the least bothered of the Copper's.

Result! I still got away with the £3, in fact I think the £3 I scrounged off my passenger is still in the centre console- that's lunch taken care of £3 Meal Deal.

[omegod]

Colleague has just told me about his auntie who was walking her dog on a beach in wales this week, dog dissapeared for a while then came trotting back looking pleased with itself with a trophy to show her ...a decomposed human fucking arm 

 

Police are involved and I wouldn't share the pic but it's fucking hideous !! 

[Christine]

I've just had a letter delivered , from my solicitor ...

  My very first client of  35 years ago, who could be a right old grumpy dragon, but was a good old stick  once you got to know her ,   has died and left me something in her will...     Fuck me!!   I do  know she only had a distant relative , whom she disliked....  Wonder what i've got coming    ?  A car ?

[omegod]

I've just had a letter delivered , from my solicitor ...

  My very first client of  35 years ago, who could be a right old grumpy dragon, but was a good old stick  once you got to know her ,   has died and left me something in her will...     Fuck me!!   I do  know she only had a distant relative , whom she disliked....  Wonder what i've got coming    ?  A car ?

 

I've heard this happening and the beneficiary copped for the bloody lot ! here's wishing you a happy retirement Christine 

[Christine]

It says there's a "pecuniary bequest"  which i guess is small amount ..I dunno what that word means coz i is thick 

[artdjones]

∆Just means it's money.Could be large or small.Congratulations!

[Christine]

She had massive tits and would stand talking really close to me till they touched me....I was only young and naive..and didn't do anything .. 

She wasn't wealthy

[The Moog]

She had massive tits and would stand talking really close to me till they touched me....I was only young and naive..and didn't do anything ..

She wasn't wealthy

You still have the memories for a cold winter night.

[John F]

NorfolkNWeigh, on 10 Jan 2018 - 11:02 AM, said:

highly trained specialist firearms officers.

 

If my mates & I manage to score 0 out of 10 on a stand at clay pigeon shooting, we say that the miscreant has reached the pass mark for police marksman.

[rainagain]

Job interview offered.

 

 

Only down side is they want a presentation, I don't do public speaking & there is no requirement on the job so I don't get why.

 

I use the rule that someone told me of starting the presentation with a question, answering this question during the presentation and then revisiting the question again at the end. This helps give it a purpose and a flow.

 

Good luck!

[Mr A Lawrence]

The wife has got a motability car. 

 

If after the 3 year lease is up and the car is in good nick then you get £250 back towards the next one. 

 

If it's a dog you get nothing. 

 

Milage allowance is 20k a year. 

 

She's had hers 2 years and has only done 12k so far. 

 

So, brand new car with free rfl, insurance,  breakdown cover and servicing and maintenance including tyres is worth it. 

 

Plus many cars are nil advance payment too.

[R&A Autos]

Hubnut videos & Top Gear/Grand Tour I also like watching a few more youtuber people like Jamie_FYD,Monkey London & Wassabi Cars. I get a grin when I am in a car or near a car I really like for example a Nissan Stagea or a Ford Granada.

[bub2006]

The only ones big enough to catch my eye are the astra Sri 1.4 and the seat Leon 1.8 TSI estate. I have been thinking of it if I'm honest but I have fear of anything happening to it!