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What makes you grin? Antidote to grumpy thread

outlaw118

By outlaw118
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clayts450 Rank: Renault 16

clayts450

Posted
Posted

I was convinced the crappy dashcam I bagged off Amazon for buttons would be a bag of shite. Turns out it's not too bad at all. £17.41 kerching.

 

Note, even on a restricted 40mph stretch of the A14 you still get middle lane hogtwats - I was one of them for a while, sadly.

 

Apologies for the shite music blaring out of my stereo (Meat Beat Manifesto if anyone cares)

 

clayts450 Rank: Renault 16

clayts450

Posted
Posted

It was this one:

 

https://www.amazon.co.uk/MERRILL-H433-140°Wide-Dashboard-Recording-black/dp/B01J0WVO4E

 

but you can definitely get better for the full price they are asking now. See http://www.techmoan.com/what-is-the-best-dashcam

 

I got a 'like new' one in Amazon Warehouse for silly money, £17.41 - there is a 'very good' one but bizarrely they want £60 for that one.

  • HarmonicCheeseburger
  • Like 1
STUNO Rank: Renault 16

STUNO

Posted
Posted

Mother in law's garage. That was my garage :D

 

EFA....

PhilA Rank: Lancia Gamma

PhilA

Posted
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EFA....

Neighbor's driveway (or so it seems, they use it more than I do).

I just put the Fiat there so I could land the Jeep in the shade to wash it. I have a concrete pad big enough to park maybe 8 cars and she parks hers in such a fashion it's the only one that can be put there without driving across the grass.

 

Go figure

  • STUNO and alf892
  • Like 2
oldcars Rank: Lancia Gamma

oldcars

Posted
Posted

Was at Corley services and filled up the 75 with V power diesel in error, feck me it  was £1.51 a litre! Chap said in accent " You will get 20 miles extra out t'tank" How i laughed, i should hope so too.

Zelandeth Rank: Talbot Matra Rancho

Zelandeth

Posted
Posted

Oh don't get me started on the school run.  We live literally about 200 yards from a primary school.

 

...we utterly failed to spot that when we bought the place.  Granted, not as though we'd find the same house elsewhere.

 

So far I've had three dings during the school rush - two happening to the car parked well clear of the road on the driveway.  How?!?

 

The one that made me grin a couple of years back was rescuing the one idiot with the supercharged range rover who lives 200 yards away yet still drives her three kids to school.  Seriously...it must take her three times as long to get them all into/out of the car.

 

She apparently completely failed to grasp the concept that irrespective of whether you're in a fancy big SUV or not, that taking the Clarkson approach to pulling off on 1/8" of snow and ice won't work.  I intervened at one point purely because she was sliding backwards down the hill ever closer to my Pug 107 - and the smell of burning rubber was getting old.

 

She seemed rather baffled when I clattered out the driveway in my old diesel Xantia and proceeded to stick a tow rope (random bit of electrical flex out the garage) on the back and then dragged her in her fancy Range Rover unceremoniously backwards up the hill to her house.  Half an hour later I went out to put the recycling out (neither of the recycling wagons had any issues!), and she was still trying to reverse into her driveway!

 

Seriously, if you cannot drive...do the rest of us a favour and don't.

Tamworthbay Rank: Talbot Matra Rancho

Tamworthbay

Posted
Posted

Oh don't get me started on the school run. We live literally about 200 yards from a primary school.

 

...we utterly failed to spot that when we bought the place. Granted, not as though we'd find the same house elsewhere.

 

So far I've had three dings during the school rush - two happening to the car parked well clear of the road on the driveway. How?!?

 

The one that made me grin a couple of years back was rescuing the one idiot with the supercharged range rover who lives 200 yards away yet still drives her three kids to school. Seriously...it must take her three times as long to get them all into/out of the car.

 

She apparently completely failed to grasp the concept that irrespective of whether you're in a fancy big SUV or not, that taking the Clarkson approach to pulling off on 1/8" of snow and ice won't work. I intervened at one point purely because she was sliding backwards down the hill ever closer to my Pug 107 - and the smell of burning rubber was getting old.

 

She seemed rather baffled when I clattered out the driveway in my old diesel Xantia and proceeded to stick a tow rope (random bit of electrical flex out the garage) on the back and then dragged her in her fancy Range Rover unceremoniously backwards up the hill to her house. Half an hour later I went out to put the recycling out (neither of the recycling wagons had any issues!), and she was still trying to reverse into her driveway!

 

Seriously, if you cannot drive...do the rest of us a favour and don't.

I was not popular the last time we had any serious snow around here, our work is up a very gentle slope and I arrived to see one of my colleagues in a chav wagon soft roader using the full revs minimum brains approach. At the time I was in the MGB GT so stuck it in 3rd and let it chug itself up the hill. When they gave up and walked in they jokingly asked how I managed to get up the hill when their 4x4 couldn’t, I just couldn’t resist saying it was down to knowing the basics of driving a car, it didn’t go down well and she didn’t speak to me for weeks. It didn’t help that half the room burst out laughing. Worth it though.
omegod Rank: Renault 16

omegod

Posted
Posted

East Lancs road this morning, bit of a queue in the nearside lane at 9am , I was super happy to see a rough as arseholes Mk2 tranny with no number plates on towing a shitty Fx4 cab on a decidedly dodgy looking tow rope, not sure if it was one of those timeslip things and all this was really in 1984 , couldn't take a pic as I'd have crashed but I'm betting there was a hell of a story behind it  :-D

  • chaseracer, catsinthewelder, Banger Kenny and 3 others
  • Like 6
Zelandeth Rank: Talbot Matra Rancho

Zelandeth

Posted
Posted

I was not popular the last time we had any serious snow around here, our work is up a very gentle slope and I arrived to see one of my colleagues in a chav wagon soft roader using the full revs minimum brains approach. At the time I was in the MGB GT so stuck it in 3rd and let it chug itself up the hill. When they gave up and walked in they jokingly asked how I managed to get up the hill when their 4x4 couldn’t, I just couldn’t resist saying it was down to knowing the basics of driving a car, it didn’t go down well and she didn’t speak to me for weeks. It didn’t help that half the room burst out laughing. Worth it though.

 

Did exactly the same back in Aberdeen a few years back in this...

 

post-21985-0-24307400-1510598213_thumb.jpg

 

Stick it in second, just let it idle its way up virtually any gradient.  Plus it was so docile so long that you stayed off the boost that control was never an issue.

 

...Granted, in the snow the was a good deal of definitely *on* boost sideways action seen as well.

 

...I miss that car.

 

The 107 on the other hand I refuse to take out if there's any sign of the white stuff on the ground.  Between low rolling resistance tyres and the worlds most over-enthusiastic ABS, stability control systems, and over-assisted steering meaning you've no idea what's under the wheels, it's just downright dangerous.

  • Tamworthbay
  • Like 1
Guest Hooli

Guest Hooli

Posted
Posted

Years ago I had a 260e auto W124, the ideal snow barge. I had a few lovely days when it was heavy snow driving all around Derbyshire to the more urgent calls as everyone else who lived a lot closer to work than me 'couldn't' get in. Odd that one drove a Pajero...

 

In fact that month the car paid for itself in the profit from the fuel claim.

  • Tamworthbay, chaseracer and eddyramrod
  • Like 3
Guest Hooli

Guest Hooli

Posted
Posted

Actually I've just thought of something, the first day it snowed and people living in Derby couldn't* get to the office, I turned up as normal on my GSX1400... Although it wasn't the most fun trip ever from Burton.

puddlethumper Rank: Renault 16

puddlethumper

Posted
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December 2009 I lived on an estate where every road out was uphill and there was a fair amount of snow. Helping people up the hill with a 305 van AND CHAINS was a big grin. especially when I had to assist a couple of 4x4's with fat road tyres. 

I've met quite a few people who think because they have a 4x4 they can go anywhere. Dickheads.  

Zelandeth Rank: Talbot Matra Rancho

Zelandeth

Posted
Posted

Cappuccino was probably the second best car I've had in the snow.  Depth was the only thing that would stop it really.

 

This was beyond a doubt the most unstoppable thing in the winter I've owned.

 

post-21985-0-84573900-1510605704_thumb.jpg

 

Drove down to the pub with my parents one day as they'd been snowed in for a week and we're going stir crazy, to a stunned silence as we walked in.  Our road was closed due to the snow apparently!

  • D Spares & Tyres and Ghosty
  • Like 2
STUNO Rank: Renault 16

STUNO

Posted
Posted

There is a local lad having a go at F1 racing. He is with Red Bull and is having a problem with reliabity meaning he has not finished a race yet. The reason is Renault engineering apparently. They are dumping them for Honda which is supposed to have less power but gets there.

dollywobbler Rank: Matra Rancho towing a Tagora

dollywobbler

Posted
Posted

There is a local lad having a go at F1 racing. He is with Red Bull and is having a problem with reliabity meaning he has not finished a race yet. The reason is Renault engineering apparently. They are dumping them for Honda which is supposed to have less power but gets there.

 

 O RLY? Ask Alonso how reliable Honda engines are. He's been blowing them up in Indycar as well as F1, just for extra giggles.

  • STUNO and Keymaster
  • Like 2
Timewaster Rank: Isuzu Florian

Timewaster

Posted
Posted

There is a local lad having a go at F1 racing. He is with Red Bull and is having a problem with reliabity meaning he has not finished a race yet. The reason is Renault engineering apparently. They are dumping them for Honda which is supposed to have less power but gets there.

The whole Renault / Honda thing is weird.

 

McClaren have run hopeless Honda engines for a few years. They have been embarrassingly bad.

Honda have made big improvements recently and are starting to come good at last.

So obviously, McClaren have dumped them in a swap with Red Bull for their almost as shit but getting worse Renault units.

 

It is like all concerned think the grass must be greener on the other side.

 

There are only 4 F1 engines to choose from. Honda and Renault are in the bottom two!

clayts450 Rank: Renault 16

clayts450

Posted
Posted

Suspect's farts makes police stop interview

 

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-41950775

 

This bit made me weep

 

 

According to the Kansas City Star newspaper, a detective's report said Mr Sykes "leaned to one side of his chair and released a loud fart" when asked for his address by police while being interviewed in September.

 

"Mr Sykes continued to be flatulent and I ended the interview," the detective wrote after recovering.

  • tinribs and richardthestag
  • Like 2
Keymaster Rank: BL Wedge

Keymaster

Posted
Posted

There is a local lad having a go at F1 racing. He is with Red Bull and is having a problem with reliabity meaning he has not finished a race yet. The reason is Renault engineering apparently. They are dumping them for Honda which is supposed to have less power but gets there.

Brendon Hartley. Tossed on the scrapheap by Red Bull by 20, he ended up scraping around for a drive in the lowest imaginable categories before working his way back up. Now 28 he is a Le Mans winner and 2 times endurance world champ. Top jockey, hope Red Bull give him a fair crack at f1 this time.
Roobarb Rank: BL Wedge

Roobarb

Posted
Posted

Today, I have been mostly living the dream.

 

I'm working in the UK. Cardiff to be exact and I'm stuffing myself silly with food that I can't get or is super expensive at home in the US.

 

For breakfast I had:

Proper bacon (not the 50% fat US stuff), Heinz baked beans, black pudding, fried tomato etc. Then a bowl of Alpen and weetabix. I thought I was done until I noticed some Welsh cakes near the toaster (buffet breakfast at the hotel). All washed down with a couple of cups of the Chimps finest PGs.

 

Mid morning meeting lunch break had:

Pork pie (Melton), sausage rolls, a couple of sarnies and Walker crisps (that's Crisps, not the American version of fatty 'chips'). Also spotted a mini scone with clotted cream and felt it rude, not to have one...

 

Afternoon coffee saw the Welsh cakes come out - three in my local proximity went missing.

 

Evening meal with team = Fish and Chips in a local restaurant.

 

Now I'm sitting in bed, in a hotel room, reading AutoShite and hoping that my stomach doesn't explode between now and the morning. Breathing is a little difficult and slightly concerning. I fear there might be much farting tonight(!)

 

I'm not normally into such gluttony, (I'm 6' 2" and a lanky streak of p!$$) but nearly all of that has been out of reach for a year :D it was sooooo good!

 

Should I change my Username to Mr Creosote? I think a wafer thin mince pie might just about finish me off... but what a way to go!

fordperv Rank: Lancia Gamma

fordperv

Posted
Posted

What you want is a Belgian bun, or two :-D

 

 

 

Made me grin-

 

 

 

Copy of dog.jpg

That's fantastic if I tried that with my dog id be hunting my spanners around the garden for weeks from where she would belt around like a loony loosing them

  • Timewaster and eddyramrod
  • Like 2

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