What makes you grin? Antidote to grumpy thread

[Mr A Lawrence]

Typical merkin.

[xtriple]

Just taken the dogs out (raining, cold, horrible) and the people two doors up seem to be doing a midnight flit (bit late in the day I grant you) out of the back gate. The bloke with the van is the self same twat that had the stand up row with Chester because he barked at him. I mean proper row, swearing, veins bulging in his forehead, shouting and ranting, the full works.

 

As I said at the time, Chester thoroughly enjoyed it as, once he got his head round some silly human barking at him, he barked back.... lots and lots. Lets face it, any dog is going to win this battle and Chester, who is short but BIG with a bark that can destroy glass windows at ten paces, had a wonderful time.

 

From that moment on (I guess he realised what a total twat he'd made himself look) he's glared at me and been generally unpleasant. Today, I had to squeeze past the van, with dogs and said twat. So, I glared at him (because I'm as big a kid as the best of you!) and he was friendliness personified, enquiring after my health, smiles and good humour but with a big dose of the shakes and quivers.

 

I don't think he realised how tall I am or what a short arsed little monkey he is! Or, it was because Chester was there, and Chester NEVER forgets and was already growling softly as he warmed up his vocal cords... we know his teeth are in working order after the other day.

[strangeangel]

The short trundle home from work in my magnificently stylish Citroen, dipping into the family size bag of Mature Cheddar and Red Onion Kettle Chips handily propped up on the passenger seat with Four Star Mary thundering out of my cobbled ICE install.

[JeeExEll]

I've just heard the expression 'she had a face like a stamped-on bag of chips' flippin LOL!

Face like a bulldog chewing a wasp.

[spike60]

Anyone fancy a new job?  Merc are advertising in Autosport.

 

 

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CzFdWAJXUAEAuvV.jpg:large

[Kiltox]

Treated the loan car to some chav spec mats

 

 

[richardmorris]

Face like a bulldog chewing a wasp.

Wasn't that les Dawson's mother in law?

[michael1703]

It's Christmas!!!!!

 

 

Humbug too, fucking thing, I've had to hand crank it as the solenoid is playing up, done about 80miles today tinselled up, they're a bit muddier now

[LC Torana]

Cardboard on the grille?

 

Say those words to any Australian, and the only mental image is this one:

[Joey spud]

 

I have this absolutely ''hilarious'' jaffa cake sticker on the inner bulkhead of my van and i recently recovered a lovely old couple home and they saw it and it made them chuckle.

 

I dropped the car at the garage then ran them back to their cottage and as i was clearing my tools away they came back out with a small gift for me that they were saving for christmas but thought i deserved them.

 

 

Four dozen Jaffa cakes in one big box.

I never knew such luxury existed and it also goes to prove that not everyone i go out to is a miserable bastard.

[DeeJay]

JS start looking for "No Beers are kept in this vehicle overnight" sticker.

[Joey spud]

Beer you say...

 

 

A chap who runs a Micro Brewery in Bexley gave me these to try a while back after i free'd off the rear caliper on his 1 series BMW.

The Cornish brewed Skinners Sunshine pale ale was very tasty.

 

But being offered someones personal Christmas stash of jaffa cakes was so kind.

[scaryoldcortina]

VOSA came and signed off on our new MoT station today! Lots of shiny new equipment to play with, I can finally test classes 5 and 7, and I don't have to leave my garage and drive a mile away to do a test. WOOOO!!!!

 

I'll get a pic tomorrow, I forgot today.

[FakeConcern]

Drove into That London yesterday so this nearly went in the Grump Thread as we had massive queing to get out and then the A21 was closed with a stupid diversion that took us almost to Maidstone (WTF!). However the grin is as we sat in a jam, a twat on a scooter went past the traffic on the wrong side of the traffic islands so the Police van in front went after it and pulled it over!

[twosmoke300]

 

I have this absolutely ''hilarious'' jaffa cake sticker on the inner bulkhead of my van and i recently recovered a lovely old couple home and they saw it and it made them chuckle.

 

I dropped the car at the garage then ran them back to their cottage and as i was clearing my tools away they came back out with a small gift for me that they were saving for christmas but thought i deserved them.

 

 

Four dozen Jaffa cakes in one big box.

I never knew such luxury existed and it also goes to prove that not everyone i go out to is a miserable bastard.

We once challenged a mate to eat one of those in one hit . He did it but was quite sick afterwards

 

This is the same guy that ate ( in different sittings) a pound of cheese , a raw sausage and a bunch of daffodils!

You will never guess his chosen sport

[DeeJay]

Shitting for England?

[twosmoke300]

Shitting like a myna bird

[Pillock]

I've seen three cars with grille muffs on (as I'm sure the 1970s AA Book of the Road with the silver cover called them)

 

Mk4 Golf

E36 BMW

Renault Megane Fatarse

 

None of which strike me as needing help with overcooling. But definitely properly attached bits of cardboard rather than they've just hit a box on the motorway.

[rainagain]

Cardboard on the grille?

 

Say those words to any Australian, and the only mental image is this one:

What's the story behind this? I'm assuming a stray cardboard box ruined his race?

[Richard]

I've seen three cars with grille muffs on (as I'm sure the 1970s AA Book of the Road with the silver cover called them)

 

Mk4 Golf

E36 BMW

Renault Megane Fatarse

 

None of which strike me as needing help with overcooling. But definitely properly attached bits of cardboard rather than they've just hit a box on the motorway.

 

ALL MODERN THERMOSTATS R SHIT.

[michael1703]

My p4 heater has always been Luke warm, I aimed an infrared pyrometer at the top hose and it was 60deg. Bought a new thermostat, went to change and saw the rust holding the thermostat housing together and thought better of it. While it's working Luke warm is better than broken thermostat housing.

 

It's 12deg today,it was minus 3 that was a bit chilly in it the other week.

 

I drove to work in my p38 today, think I had my money's worth out of the exhaust,8inches has rotted away

 

[LC Torana]

What's the story behind this? I'm assuming a stray cardboard box ruined his race?

surprisingly, no it didn't.

 

Allan Moffat went on to win the 1971 Bathurst 500 despite this.  Pit crew tried frantically to tell him, but the temperature gauge showed nothing to worry about, and so he waited until the next pit stop.

 

The cardboard was, of course, a beer carton from one of the innumerable slabs downed in the crowd.

 

And the car is, of course, Australia's most revered supercar, the XY Falcon GTHO Phase III.

[doobietoo]

I've seen three cars with grille muffs on (as I'm sure the 1970s AA Book of the Road with the silver cover called them)

 

Mk4 Golf

E36 BMW

Renault Megane Fatarse

 

None of which strike me as needing help with overcooling. But definitely properly attached bits of cardboard rather than they've just hit a box on the motorway.

 

If they are diesels they may well do... my PT CRD rarely gets warm enough inside to be comfortable if the temp outside is below zero... same with the Rover now I think about it...

[fordperv]

just seen this news story and we need this on here,

 

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4018828/amp/Rusty-car-not-moved-DECADE-despite-fully-taxed-insured-local-landmark.html

[155V6]

I just got home after picking up my £50 eBay Rover 25.I took some plastic bottles as the seller said it would possibly overheat,but the gauge never went over halfway on the 25 miles home.It's only done 71,000 miles & is tested until June so may be a keeper.A bit of a strange spec though,full leather & alloys,but windy windows & manual mirrors 

[scaryoldcortina]

just seen this news story and we need this on here,

 

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4018828/amp/Rusty-car-not-moved-DECADE-despite-fully-taxed-insured-local-landmark.html

 

Hang on, headline says hasn't moved for a decade despite being taxed and insured.

 

How did it get a MoT before 2012 if it hasn't moved since 2006?

[Tayne]

It's more Daily Mail bullshit.

[scaryoldcortina]

Oh yeah. Silly me, I should have realized.

[Lacquer Peel]

Rabidly right wing newspaper staffed by CHURNALISTS. You won't believe what happens next!

[fordperv]

It's more Daily Mail bullshit.

this and no doubt the person who reported the story hasnt seen it move so then it musnt have moved in the 10 years it got parked in the same spot, i get it all the time with mrs fp's car people say it never moves it does less than 1000 miles between m.o.ts but when it has moved it gets put back in the same spot which makes people think that it never moves