What makes you grin? Antidote to grumpy thread

[Pillock]

http://apiln.blogspot.com/

 

Angry People in Local Newspapers

 

A great collection of mouthbreathers getting their 15 seconds of fame by writing to the paper about absurd issues. Had me properly laughing out loud.

[Guest]

That is quality! I love a good angry local non-news story. Here are my favourite faces from that site.

 

 

Although my ultimate favourite ones are generally a group of people (usually shopkeepers/vicars/old dears) standing around something with folded arms, staring into the camera.

[Milford Cubicle]

SAUSAGE TURNS WOMAN LESBIAN.

 

Wonderful! Thanks for the link Pillock.

[Guest]

Here's something I like - the new design of Fray Bentos pies which have a big word in quotation marks, as if they're being slightly sarcastic about it.

 

 

Although not quite as good as their meatballs (formerly Campbells), which are in "tasty" tomato sauce.

 

[michiel]

Bachs Brandenburg Concertos make me grin at the moment. And certain obscurish bands from Leeds will later today probably.

[Des]

I'll have a good look at that Angry People in Local Newspapers blog thingy later. When I lived in Ireland, their equivilant of Private Eye magazine, The Phoenix, had a regular column, 'Bog Cuttings', an account of choice reports from the rural press. No pictures but countless stories of the drunken antics of culchies fighting over turf, court case summaries often citing a Gard getting the head beat of him when arresting a woman for riding donkeys under the influence of the creature.

[mouseflakes]

Angry people in local papers. There was a letter in our weekly freebie (Bristol Journal) some years ago. I'll try to recreate it here."Last week one of your correspondents argued that Lesbians are not being punished by God because they are statistically less likely to contract AIDS. To me it seems that they have already been punished by God as they are all pretty plain-looking and most wear glasses"At this point I began to wonder if people were making up letters to send in. I was going to make one up myself along the lines of..."I'm 104 years old and I didn't fight in two World Wars just so people could make up rediculous letters and have them printed in the local paper...."

[fotorabia]

Good old ex-Berliner mate of mine Paul..an Englishman working for Airbus in Hamburg just bought this....sample copy..

 

and hes built a 10k soundsystem to put in the back..so hopefully we l be in Spain later nxt year blasting some break beats..that makes me smile..

[Pillock]

We have a fairly bemusing local paper. Pages 1 to 4 are all adverts, except for the heading on the front with the name. The Ashfield Ad I think it's (predictably) called.Then on page 5 the news starts. Last issue had an article about a lady who's lived to 105 or something, and puts it down to eating two bags of crisps a day. Big photo of her eating some crisps. Lots of quotes along the lines of "I love crisps, I always have crisps in the house" and then name-dropping her favourite brand (Seabrooks) and shop to buy them from (Asda), presumably so she gets some freebies. That lot took up over half a page.Then, on page 6, the adverts start again through to the back where there's half a page of sport, mostly local pub cricket results.Most bizarre. It could well have been the Crisp and Advert Chronicle or something.

[dollywobbler]

In the Banbury Citizen once was the shocking headline:"Thrown stone breaks window!" No joke! As a recently converted city boy, this had me rolling about on the floor with laughter. Similar to the time that the parish magazine condemned the low-life scum who had put some very low-scale graffiti on the village phonebox...

[Guest]

Nowt wrong with Seabrook crisps!Here's something that has made me incredibly happy - with it being a good day I finally took a half-day off work to sort the speakers out in the Cuore - it's too dark and/or rainy to do it otherwise. The story is, it never had speakers in it when I got it, so no sounds. Actually, it also didn't come with a radio but I've enough of those. But anyway, it was getting boring driving to work in utter silence and I'm selling it soon, people would kind of expect a radio in a car like that I think.So I dismantled the door cards and found that the connectors were different to my scrapyard speakers - rats! Mine were right as they were just stock Cuore speakers, but somewhere down the line the connectors had been changed to fit some aftermarket ones. Rubbish. So I took a trip down the road to Motorworld and amazingly they had the right size spade connectors - bit of messing around and then I flicked the radio on to test and astoundingly "Hot Chocolate - It Started With a Kiss" started playing from both speakers. I consider myself to be incredibly inept when it comes to electricals so the fact I got it all working perfectly has amazed me to be honest, I'm well chuffed.So then I put all the doorcards and the likes back together, stuck a Fleetwood Mac tape in and drove to the petrol station to celebrate. Also, I needed some petrol.

[Pete-M]

  Hirst said:

Nowt wrong with Seabrook crisps!

Seabrook crisps make me happy Only they can get the crinkle-cut bit right.

[Guest]

Interesting fact: Seabrook crisps weren't actually supposed to be called that, they were meant to be called "C. Brook" Crisps after the owner. However the printers knackered it up so they went with that instead.Uninteresting fact: Recycling seven steel drink cans will save enough energy to power a 60W bulb for 26 hours.

[254575]

  Hirst said:

bit of messing around and then I flicked the radio on to test and astoundingly "Hot Chocolate - It Started With a Kiss" started playing from both speakers. I consider myself to be incredibly inept when it comes to electricals so the fact I got it all working perfectly has amazed me to be honest, I'm well chuffed.

YOU DONT REMEMBER ME DO YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!

[retrogeezer]

www.sniffpetrol.com makes me laugh...

 

 

[brammy777]

  retrogeezer said:

www.sniffpetrol.com makes me laugh...

 

 

Hahahahaha, i live right next to a large BMW delearship and the 5 series GT is the most hideous car i have ever seen.

[Milford Cubicle]

It's being marketed as a revolution in car design. Ooh, a 5 door fastback! Never been done before.It could be quite a cool concept if it was done in a rakish SD1 vein, but it looks flabby and bland.

[Richard]

Is the new Vauxhall Insignia not a 5 door fastback? Is that the market BMW are going for?

[barrett]

stop being grumpy!

 

this makes me happy, my friend's video for my other friends' band. may be of interest to Fall fans who appreciate the Three Rs..

 

http://www.vimeo.com/7628913

[Polystratus]

  brammy777 said:

Hahahahaha, i live right next to a large BMW delearship and the 5 series GT is the most hideous car i have ever seen.

Ever seen a BMW X6 -thats what BMW's idea of a sports coupe

[brammy777]

  Polystratus said:

  brammy777 said:

Hahahahaha, i live right next to a large BMW delearship and the 5 series GT is the most hideous car i have ever seen.

Ever seen a BMW X6 -thats what BMW's idea of a sports coupe

I have seen many an X6, and whilst its still an abortion of a car design, the GT takes the biscuit, the wheels look tiny and the body is lumpy and undecided. I was taken aback in shock when i saw it. its THAT bad.

[dollywobbler]

Cor, Sniff Petrol's been updated!! A rare event and worth a smile.

[M'coli]

If I see an X6 being driven, it forces me to laugh out loud, in that "Emperor's new clothes" way!

[Richard]

I don't even know what an X6 is, I thought it was some kind of 4x4.

[myglaren]

Never heard of it before the above posts brought it to my attention. Just looked at some photo's. God, it's horrible!

[Negative Creep]

I think the X6 is quite useful. If you are a massive, weapons grade wanker but are worried other people may not know this within the first 2 seconds of meeting you, then there's your answer

[michiel]

To me it looks like an elephant squatting down on top of an X5.

[RedSparrow]

 

 

Who said darts wasn't sexy?

[dollywobbler]

On that basis, it definitely still isn't!

[Mike D]

Actually getting off my couch loving arse and cracking on with old cars makes me happy I forgot how much I enjoy a bit of spannering in the evening. So far this week i have removed all the wings, bonnet and decklid off my beetle, stripped one rear arch of the stonechip, and tonight i have removed the engine.I also like my garage, as it means I can do this at home rather than driving 20 odd miles to work on my stuff at my friends houses.