What makes you grin? Antidote to grumpy thread

[Sealtainn]

Doing some parcel deliveries this week for extra cash to put towards Granada repairs.

 

Sent from my E2105 using Tapatalk

[Louise2cv]

Have they realised what a rubbish idea it was now and stopped naming storms or something? I'm sure we have had something on a par with storm Des twice now and no mention of a name...?

[Lacquer Peel]

It's creeping Americanisation I think.

[Bren]

Odd conversations we have make me grin:

Wife: smells of farts in here

Me: that'll be the dog

Wife: no I think it's you, they're quite bad, smells like my (dead) grandads farts

Me: perhaps he is haunting us

I didn't know dead people could fart.

[vulgalour]

As I understand it, storms are named if the severity of it is catastrophic enough, I'm not sure what the particulars are but it's probably down to wind speed or something.  Then the naming convention is alphabetically and then boy-girl.  For example:  Albert, Anna, Bertram, Bertha, Christopher, Carlotta, Dafydd, Desmonella, Euryclides, Ethel...  you get the idea.

[Richard]

I didn't know dead people could fart.

 

I did. It's just one of many things the internet has taught me that I didn't need to know.

[wuvvum]

I didn't know dead people could fart.

You evidently haven't seen Daniel Radcliffe's latest film then.  He plays a dead person who farts.  That's basically the entire premise of the film as far as I can tell.

 

I won't be going to see it.

[myglaren]

I did. It's just one of many things the internet has taught me that I didn't need to know.

My youngest daughter is an embalmer and this is just one of the many disturbing facts she has enlightened us with.

[Pillock]

They sigh too.

My ma, an ex nurse, once found herself "looking after" the mortuary overnight. Nothing sharpens the senses like a sigh coming from under a sheet.

[cort16]

 

https://www.facebook.com/windywilson.weather.roads/?fref=photo

[dave21478]

They couldnt think of anywhere of more geographical significance than Auchterarder?

[Cheggers]

They sigh too.

My ma, an ex nurse, once found herself "looking after" the mortuary overnight. Nothing sharpens the senses like a sigh coming from under a sheet.

You'd sigh too if the corpse in the next bed kept farting...

[dome]

They couldnt think of anywhere of more geographical significance than Auchterarder?

Ah, you've not seen the delights of Windy Wilson on Facebook. Think Michael Fish crossed with Frankie Boyle.

[explosive-cabbage]

Have they realised what a rubbish idea it was now and stopped naming storms or something? I'm sure we have had something on a par with storm Des twice now and no mention of a name...?

 

Naming storms is a fucking load of bollocks.

 

Dreamt up by the climate change lobby to make storms more 'personal' and dramatic sounding, and to get people to talk about bad weather and climate change more.

 

Hurricane this, hurricane that, we do not have hurricanes in this country, whatever the media tells you. We have strong storms, ex-hurricanes and tropical cyclones, but not hurricanes. Just because we have started naming them as hurricanes in the American fashion does not mean that they are hurricanes by definition, it just gives the media more inaccurate shite to plaster on the pages.

[fred]

Maybe name storms after cars ? Storm BX - pressure is up - then oddly down -

 

Storm Mondeo -Gaffer tape your windows shut -its gonna be a harsh one

[garbaldy]

I was under the impression they named them as a sort of count, at least that's what I'm telling myself.

 

First storm of the year Ambrosia right up to Freddy which was a bit of wind and rain number six,

[Louise2cv]

I wish I hadn't looked it up now.

 

Apparently they are naming them to help us cope and remain safe and stop us getting confused (bless our pathetic little socks).

 

 

Also they are following US convention because they are desperate fanbois to maintain a system for naming northern hemisphere storms.

 

(Except this one)

[oldcars]

Maybe name storms after cars ? Storm BX - pressure is up - then oddly down -

 

Storm Mondeo -Gaffer tape your windows shut -its gonna be a harsh one

Storm 75, water will pish in your house from various places.

[D Spares & Tyres]

Maybe name storms after cars ? Storm BX - pressure is up - then oddly down -

 

Storm Mondeo -Gaffer tape your windows shut -its gonna be a harsh one

Storm Rover

 

Going to be wet but warm and steamy afterwards

 

Storm Renault Laguna

 

An electrical storm with possible fog

 

Storm PT Cruiser

 

A really ugly looking storm but won't come to much and will pass by without anyone noticing

[vulgalour]

San Storm - Designed in France, built in India, imported to the UK.  Can carry large dogs.

 

 

 

 

[Bucketeer]

Sad to hear that one of our own has had his Olympic dreams shattered.

http://www.bbc.com/sport/rowing/35303102

 

 

Foad had surgery to fit flexible metal rods into his spine after he won bronze in the men's eight at London 2012.

And he still had time to wave an electric wand over half the oxidised metal in the UK.

 

 

 

"The thought of this year being a write-off and not being able to at least try and complete my goal of competing at the Olympics again is heartbreaking," Foad added

More time to sort the Riva out though.

[Aston Martin]

Day 4 of class 2... My instructor said I'm a bully.

 

The lorry is bigger than the Quasquai coming towards me, therefore I win? Get out of my bastard way!!!

 

Day 5... Passed with 5 minors (allowed 15)

 

Minors were for bullying and speeding...

[Eddie Honda]

You can't beat a bit of Bully.

 

Super. Great. Smashing. Champion. Great.

[Jimmycrackcorn]

Swapping out the cream leather interior on the S-Type for a much more comfy Sable (mmmm brown) cloth interior cheered me up, a few plastics to swap over but much much better.

[oldcars]

Day 5... Passed with 5 minors (allowed 15)

 

Minors were for bullying and speeding...

Why did you threaten the instructor? 

 

Congrats on the pass 

[Aston Martin]

Why did you threaten the instructor?

 

Congrats on the pass

Thank you.

 

I couldn't threaten my instructor, her boyfriend was built like a shithouse and once he pulled us over/chased us in some shiny A Class AMG thing during a lesson to give her, her mobile... which was interesting.

 

 

P.s. Always give way to the LGV.

 

 

The examiner, ERM, we shall talk more when my licence arrives...

[Sloth in a bowl]

Was running along with a 3l Avantime in red on the M40 this evening, years since I've seen one and fantastic in the flesh.

 

Rear red lights are are in the shape of warning triangles, just lovely.

[forddeliveryboy]

Next they'll be naming economic recessions, so Recession Sophie will have been reached our shores by about 2025.

 

 

 

Haven't yet heard anyone say, wasn't Storm Henry nasty. It's just Govt policy to introduce something new every so often in an attempt to distract from the misery of everyday life. Hence naming of depressions crossing the Atlantic and filing tax returns four times more often.

[jonathan_dyane]

5 Litres of *quality Lidl 10w40 £9.99.

 

Just a shame I can't use it in the girlfriends KA or the bikes...

[Des]

Well I recently drained a sumpful of Valvoline in favour of Lidl oil and it is definitely very much the superior lube.