What makes you grin? Antidote to grumpy thread

[Tayne]

.

[cobblers]

Ran out of petrol today, even though I put a tenner in yesterday and I've done 39 miles since in a golf. I've got a petrol light which came on about 15 miles ago, but went off a few seconds later so I ignored it. Guage was pointing above nothing unless I turned right for a bit.

 

Finally spluttered to a halt about 400 yards from my mates house and dragged myself there half on fumes and the other half on HYBRID PRIUS WIND FARM NIMBY STARTER MOTOR POWER. I was hoping to just syphon some stuff out of his old bike (premix 2 stroke but I'm not shy) but in the end he was happy enough to run me to the pez bar.

 

I managed to fit 9 quids in a jerry can though which makes me feel old cos I can remember filling one to the brim to put in a plaggy 90 when I was at school and it being about 3 quid.

[autofive]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-13367398

[Cavcraft]

Ran out of petrol today, even though I put a tenner in yesterday and I've done 39 miles since in a golf. I've got a petrol light which came on about 15 miles ago, but went off a few seconds later so I ignored it. Guage was pointing above nothing unless I turned right for a bit.

 

Finally spluttered to a halt about 400 yards from my mates house and dragged myself there half on fumes and the other half on HYBRID PRIUS WIND FARM NIMBY STARTER MOTOR POWER. I was hoping to just syphon some stuff out of his old bike (premix 2 stroke but I'm not shy) but in the end he was happy enough to run me to the pez bar.

 

 

 

I make that 24.556mpg based on £1.38 per litre.

[Guest]

Mikey and his idiot clunge brigade are dead! (and I got a pissy email from Photobucket for violating their terms of service), but overall - result.

[Pete-M]

[

 

I make that 24.556mpg based on £1.38 per litre.

 

Not bad that.

[Cavcraft]

Mikey and his idiot clunge brigade are dead! (and I got a pissy email from Photobucket for violating their terms of service), but overall - result.

 

 

Autoshiter of the month award goes to Watanabe.

[Guest]

Mikey and his idiot clunge brigade are dead! (and I got a pissy email from Photobucket for violating their terms of service), but overall - result.

 

 

Autoshiter of the month award goes to Watanabe.

 

Ghey 'Member of the Month' sig image please, or it didn't happen.

[tonedepear]

Mikey and his idiot clunge brigade are dead! (and I got a pissy email from Photobucket for violating their terms of service), but overall - result.

 

 

Autoshiter of the month award goes to Watanabe.

 

Ghey 'Member of the Month' sig image please, or it didn't happen.

 

[Lord Sterling]

Finally managed to get my sodding garden to a state resembling 'tidy' despite mother natures indecisiveness as to whether it should rain or be sunny.

 

Also this: How to behave on an internet forum

[Guest Leonard Hatred]

Mikey and his idiot clunge brigade are dead! (and I got a pissy email from Photobucket for violating their terms of service), but overall - result.

 

Dead?

[Cavcraft]

Denied Entry (to) Autoshite Database

[cobblers]

[

 

I make that 24.556mpg based on £1.38 per litre.

 

Not bad that.

 

Yeah actually when you work that out, it's probably about right - I must have been not far off fumes when I topped it up before.

 

suppose the £25 lambda sensor I've been putting off buying for months wouldn't go amiss. And I need to stop driving like an Iranian policeman too.

[Negative Creep]

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article ... riend.html

 

[dollywobbler]

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1386280/Pippa-Middleton-Motorist-paid-price-bum-comments-girlfriend.html

 

 

Well, if his girlfriend did that to the car by just sitting on the bonnet, the answer is Yes...

[Gompo]

Jealous bitch, admittedly I doubt the Pug was the boyfriend's pride and joy but if a bird did that to my favourite trainers or CD she could fuck right off, nevermind a bloody car.

[Cavcraft]

Jealous bitch, admittedly I doubt the Pug was the boyfriend's pride and joy but if a bird did that to my favourite trainers or CD she could fuck right off, nevermind a bloody car.

 

I would be willing to bet she already had.

[Pete-M]

I'd be tempted to scrub her scrawl off the side and paint the word "YES" instead, then just park it outside her house.

[Cavcraft]

Playing devil's advocate. Astra has almost certainly sold (to someone I know) but have left adverts for it on the web 'just in case'. I have various messages of 'what's the lowest will you take for it so far. The first to ask this had already been told not to bother asking me but to make an offer so he was duly told to piss off as I'd scrap it before he I sold it to him no matter what he offered, the second was asked how much was the most he'd pay (this will be my stock answer to these turds in future) and didn't reply and the third has offered me £300. For a tidy, reliable car with 12 months MOT and 6 months tax that was advertised for £595.

I'm just playing some of the other dickheads along now before I tell them it's sold.

[Pillock]

The Pippa's-bum-Pug.

 

I think the thing she's probably forgetting is that Pippa's arse is probably better than hers, so I don't understand why she doesn't face up to it. Even if it's not, a bit of jealousy will only make them work harder in the sack.

[ProgRocker]

Watching 'Police Camera Action' earlier this evening and I was bemused at some footage from Greater Manchester Police showing a chase with a stolen Nissan Almera N16 just like mine. Never knew that perennial Nissans were a hit with scallies.

 

"I drive a desirable car!!!"

[tonedepear]

IMAG0426 by Tony Lloyd, on Flickr

[seth]

I think I could find other ways to spend £130 plus travel from "the North" rather than for an hour and a half of some blokes kicking a ball about. They should hold it in Macclesfield or something rather than make thousands of people invade NW London for the day.

[Cavcraft]

Nice one, I'd pay three times that if Chester ever got to a final at Wembley. Danny Collins to come on a sub and score a hat trick with Jonny walters to bag a brace beforehand.

I'd be willing to bet 98% of non-City supporters will want you to win. Pulis has done wonders at Stoke and you deserve a result.

[tonedepear]

Only 1 of them's mine, so that's an instant feel-good saving of £65!

 

I still can't believe we're in the premier league, so this whole cup thing is just surreal and absurd.

 

Would be amazed to see Danny Collins play though, our run of good form seems to have coincided with him being dropped.

[Negative Creep]

I'll definitely be cheering Stoke on tomorrow

[CreepingJesus]

I usually keep my football habit off here, too. But seeing as we're on the subject, I'll let it out...

 

CHEERIO BILLY REID! The perennial survivors, survive again.

 

Made me grin, anyway.

[shite_meister]

I'm not sure if this belongs here but after getting home after a few post work pints and a Chilie I could feel my arse about to surrender big time so I rush to the toilet which is in the hallway (I rent a room off some tidy cougar) so I realise I have no toilet roll, luckily I had some blue paper that I'd torn off a roll from work earlier so I hear the landlady walking about by the door, worried I kept as quiet as a mouse who had literally crapped his innards out and now had tears streaming from its eyes from the sheer stench of the faecal matter deposited in the shitter.

After the fumbling outside stops I continue to wipe my arse economcally knowing I have a minimal amount of bog roll to cleanse my dirty batty only to find the landlady has opened the door and is stood looking at me (or rather a particular part of me) whilst air-bourne particles of shit pollute the air and make us both feel queasey before it sinks in to both of us what has just happened. Not good, very fucking awkward. fuck.

[Cavcraft]

Information. Overload.

[tonedepear]

Christ, I nearly shat myself in Ikea this morning as well. Proper nasty one it was in the end. And I was contemplating saving it til I got home at one point (only an hour's drive) and then me innards went suddenly mental and I had to get a bit of a speed-walk on. Fuck knows what I ate.