What makes you grin? Antidote to grumpy thread

[beko1987]

£48 a year

 

Right fuck this, thanks chaps. Will get AA cancelled (cooling off period win! Will have to get Amy to do it though) and get that bought!

[Craig the Princess]

They changed that about 3 years ago (just after I started with them). No need to pay for the recovery (the two times I've been recovered).

[3VOM]

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Which reminds me - what is the worst thing to read in Braille?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Do not touch.

[wuvvum]

Picture of the head honcho of Daimler on the news is making me grin.  Old Gottlieb himself would have been proud of those whiskers.

 

[Sheefag]

He did a cracking job, landing that A320 in the Hudson.

[Stanky]

Apologies in advance to songstress and strong female role model Rachel Platton, but having heard the chorus of this on the radio the other day, I felt compelled to write an improved version for the forum theme music. While possibly not in the same league as Billy's Convoy rendition, I'm pretty pleased with myself. Written in notepad, on work time, I give you "Shite Song" (to be sung at volume 11, after 17 pints in your local flat-roof pub at 1am), a subtle* reworking of "Fight Song" with original tune available here

 

Shite song

From a bald tyre
on a Volvo
To chassis rot
on a Renault

Life with no working car
In the sodding fleet
I might only have ten days
The ministry won't have me beat

All those parts that didn't fit
EURO Car Parts hurt my brain
I'll weld this muttha up tonight
DVSA feel my pain!

Chorus:
This is my shite song
Its going all wrong
I'm not alright song

The welder's turned on
Isopon's mixed up real strong
I'll play my shite song

And I don't really care if everyone thinks I'm crazeee
Cause I'll never lease an Audi on PCP

Losing blood and I'm tasting rust
In grinding discs, all my trust
About to go bust,
say I'm about to go bust

Its been ten days
still chasing rot
but there's a grinder burning in my hands
and I still believe
Yeah I still believe

All those parts that didn't fit
EURO Car Parts hurt my brain
I'll weld this muttha up tonight
DVSA feel my pain!

Chorus:
This is my shite song
Its going all wrong
I'm not alright song

The welder's turned on
(Isopon's) mixed up real strong
I'll play my shite song
And I don't really care if everyone thinks I'm crazeee
Cause I'll never lease an Audi on PCP

An Audi on PCP

From a bald tyre
on a Volvo
To chassis rot
on a Renault

Life with no working car
In the sodding fleet
I might only have ten days
The ministry won't have me beat

 

Chorus:
This is my shite song
Its going all wrong
I'm not alright song

The welder's turned on
(Isopon's) mixed up real strong
I'll play my shite song
And I don't really care if everyone thinks I'm crazeee
Cause I'll never lease an Audi on PCP

Cause I'll never lease an Audi on PCP

 

Soz...

[Squire_Dawson]

Picture of the head honcho of Daimler on the news is making me grin.  Old Gottlieb himself would have been proud of those whiskers.

 

 

Did he work in Argentina sometime after the war I wonder.

[paulplom]

Rick and Morty is my new favourite thing. It's hillarious, really.

 

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[paulplom]

I think I am Rick. All I'm missing is the hip flask.

 

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[louiepj]

Rick and Morty is my new favourite thing. It's hillarious, really.

 

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Final Space is worth watching as well

[HillmanImp]

Just listening to the Pixies Bossanova for the first time in years (best one IMO) and I was listening to 'Rock Music' and decided to google the lyrics as I always thought they were a bit odd, even by Pixies standards.

 

Turns out when i thought they were screaming 'Hey you dozy Asian junkie' he was actually saying 'Hey you know me, me conoce'

 

I don't know either but it's slightly less racist, possibly depending on what conoce means?

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v30hFJ-T0zw

[HillmanImp]

Just listening to the Pixies Bossanova for the first time in years (best one IMO) and I was listening to 'Rock Music' and decided to google the lyrics as I always thought they were a bit odd, even by Pixies standards.

 

Turns out when i thought they were screaming 'Hey you dozy Asian junkie' he was actually saying 'Hey you know me, me conoce'

 

I don't know either but it's slightly less racist, possibly depending on what conoce means?

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v30hFJ-T0zw

 

I'm listening to Trompe Le Monde now and actually think that's better.  Might be an age thing.

[Tamworthbay]

Despite loving pretty much every band that ever claimed to be influenced by the Pixies, and Deal’s Breeders, for ages I never got the Pixies, then something clicked and I listened to them constantly for about a month.

[SierraMikeHotel]

I ordered some random shit from the Mercedes Benz Club today - a keyring, a baseball cap and a window sticker.

 

The website reminded me that I could qualify for free postage if I paid TWO HUNDRED AND FIFTY POUNDS on club branded tat.

 

Cant help but grin at the sense of entitlement!

[DodgeRover]

The CQC are due to visit our Trust Very Soon.

 

I have informed my management team that I intend to answer each question the CQC person may ask thusly: 'I believe that may be an ecumenical matter'.

 

I see no flaw with this plan, especially as I retire in 57 days.

 

Alternate with Drink, Feck, Arse, Girls

[MorrisItalSLX]

My grin today is my ‘new’ clock-radio, scored for £Nil.

 

 

I have always wanted a flip-clock and they are usually £100+ on the interweb, so when I pulled this out of a skip I was very pleased.

 

What makes it such a winner is the fantastic radio tuner, the FM hooks up to the house aerial and is fantastic and even the AM is picking up stations which has never happened before in my area.

[New POD]

Which reminds me - what is the worst thing to read in Braille?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Do not touch.....

.....

 

 

....Biochemical hazard bin

Fixed that 4 you.

[Sloth in a bowl]

Just listening to the Pixies Bossanova for the first time in years (best one IMO) and I was listening to 'Rock Music' and decided to google the lyrics as I always thought they were a bit odd, even by Pixies standards.

 

Turns out when i thought they were screaming 'Hey you dozy Asian junkie' he was actually saying 'Hey you know me, me conoce'

 

I don't know either but it's slightly less racist, possibly depending on what conoce means?

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v30hFJ-T0zw

Get 'Pixes at the BBC' some of their best tracks in a live set but with decent recording equipment. Fantastic.

[purplebargeken]

Stationary obtaining spree is a constant..... mind you, they now use some cheap shite recycled paper for letters which looks cheap and shite. No point in obtaining same, 'cos shit.

[Cavcraft]

Waiting for a bus in London and who was next to us in the queue? Una Stubbs. 

 

Life simply does not get better than that. 

[Louise2cv]

I saw Penelope Keith drive past when I was waiting for a crossing to change.

 

I hope Una was nicer.

 

(She knew I was staring and she blanked me).

[GrumpiusMaximus]

Despite loving pretty much every band that ever claimed to be influenced by the Pixies, and Deal’s Breeders, for ages I never got the Pixies, then something clicked and I listened to them constantly for about a month.

 

 

I liked the Pixies fine but they've never really 'clicked' for me aside from a few individual songs.  'Monkey Gone to Heaven' is probably my favourite, along with (perhaps weirdly) 'Caribou'.  Probably the same for Melvins although that probably has more to do with the fact that I haven't heard as much as I ought to...

 

On musical grins, a few years ago I was assisting as the London Drum Show (my mate used to own a drum company) and I literally ran into Nick Mason from Pink Floyd, nearly knocking him over.  Fortunately enough, he was very nice about it and I was very apologetic.  Still makes me smile.

[Louise2cv]

Wolf from Gladiators in the mid-noughties was much more excited about being spotted on a petrol station forecourt.

[Louise2cv]

(nervously waiting to be told I have finally fallen for one for the jokes)

 

Spare me the embarrassment

[SierraMikeHotel]

Wolf from Gladiators in the mid-noughties was much more excited about being spotted on a petrol station forecourt.

I was convinced he owned a car dealership but it was actually a small chain of gyms. No idea where that false memory came from.

[Cavcraft]

I saw Penelope Keith drive past when I was waiting for a crossing to change.

 

I hope Una was nicer.

 

(She knew I was staring and she blanked me).

She was absolutely charming and was telling a young lad next to us that it was people of his age group (about 21, at a guess) and a bit over who recognised her most.

Also saw Nigel Eubank is his floppy top Rolls Royce (don’t mind him, but boxing not my thing) and possibly Boris Johnson on his bike.

[Exiled_Tat_Gatherer]

Waiting for a bus in London and who was next to us in the queue? Una Stubbs. 

 

Life simply does not get better than that. 

Surely you mean - a GOOD LIFE …. EDIT - I'm surprised she's still kicking, she looked a little worn out last time I saw her on t'box….

 

I saw Penelope Keith drive past when I was waiting for a crossing to change.

 

I hope Una was nicer.

 

(She knew I was staring and she blanked me).

ah.... perhaps not 

[Andyrew]

 

Bonnet is clearly happy that I've removed the awfully fitted pins.

[beko1987]

Their demolishing a load of quite nice looking 1970's warehouses next to the office. We have a front row seat on the first floor, and it's been ace watching them pick it apart, everyone's been at the window at various points.

 

Except in a few weeks, they'll be taking the fucking huge concrete slab up... Can't wait for everyone to suddenly hate it as they spend a few days breaking it up...

 

One of the massive diggers has a pair of snips on the end and is cutting the girders that would probably take 20 people to lift like I'd snap a matchstick!

[cort1977]

I was convinced he owned a car dealership but it was actually a small chain of gyms. No idea where that false memory came from.

 

Didn't Wolf move to NZ? 

 

Now if i saw Jet from Gladiators in the mid-noughties (or in fact at anytime) I would be proper excited.