Worst bodge you've seen

[PiperCub]

It was on some old Ford (from the 60's I think) - a wooden cross-member for the rear axle. (To be fair, it was nicely shaped and finished.......). Screwed to the body using a mix of wood-screws and self-tappers (ie: the bodgers best friend).

Oddly, the upper-body part of the car was in surprisingly good shape IIRC! 

[djoptix]

Are you talking about an MGF?

 

 Can confirm.

[beko1987]

Tommy Walsh stuff... Fuck me... I'm surprised he's put his name to shit like that.

Ey, don't knock it, it's excellent stuff!

 

 

 

 

 

 

For sealing up Hoover Turbopower fancases, and Hoover Junior firewalls! Probably wouldn't seal an entire bathroom in with it mind, but for £1, when I haven't used it in 3 months and it's dried up it's not as big an issue!

 

His £1 multiparty of retractable snap-off knives aren't bad too, as long as you don't bend the blade, or cut carpet, or wires...

 

Think we have some Tommy Walsh cup hooks somewhere too, they have held up a mug each like a champ for a few years now. Probably wouldn't trust one with the washing line though...

[puddlethumper]

The worst I've seen, after I owned it, was a Ford Prefect 100e that had a rear wing filled with chicken wire and concrete.

 

Bodges on the current wheels.

Scrunchy, courtesy The Moog, stopping the gear linkage popping off, piece of carpet and hard plastic flooring tile as part of the engine mounting,  gaffer taped wing and a chicken wire and gaffer taped air intake pipe. Most have been on for at least a couple of years and work fine so are being left. Might get round to doing something about them, might not.

[pauldoubleyou]

Have drilled a hole in countless boot spare wheel wells, siliconed rear lights on, superglued flaps on tyres where someone has clipped a kerb.

 

I was drilling a Rover 220 in the bay in order to mount a shitty K&N replica when i drilled directly into my new battery i had put on it. It leaked all its water out up to halfway. From memory i plugged it with a self tapper and it ran on for a few years with no issues.

 

PS sensor sheared off a Xsara pissing the oil all over the road. Plugged it with a self tapper again to get home.

 

Countless stereos wired into whatever switched live i could find.

 

Just fixed a fiesta rear door actuator using a cut down biro tube and some hot glue

 

Theyre not bodges if they work, theyre free fixes, but the dangerous ones seem to elude me nowadays as i actually want a safe car - however the wife broke the phone extension socket off the phone line with the hoover. Not a problem, ill strip the wires and refit it. Totaly forgot that phone lines have a voltage through them as i used my teeth to strip the wires..

[steveo3002]

 

- however the wife broke the phone extension socket off the phone line with the hoover. Not a problem, ill strip the wires and refit it. Totaly forgot that phone lines have a voltage through them as i used my teeth to strip the wires..

i did that...took ages to realise what the tingle was lol 

[chodweaver]

That's 50v that is! But only when someone is ringing you...

 

Sent from my BV6000 using Tapatalk

[beko1987]

Speaking of xsaras, we bodged bubs missing bleed screw with a tyre valve and rubber glove at sf15 in the arse end of nowhere!

[PhilA]

That's 50v that is! But only when someone is ringing you...

Sent from my BV6000 using Tapatalk

Yeah, it's about 120v when it's ringing

[Eddie Honda]

There’s an entire range in Poundland with his mug on!

 

Seen on a locker at work.

[burraston2006]

The worst I've seen, after I owned it, was a Ford Prefect 100e that had a rear wing filled with chicken wire and concrete..

 

I've done that! About 25 years ago when we were 17 a mate bought a Marina that was rusty as fook. We couldn't be bothered to go to the scrappy for new wings so we filled the front ones with chicken wire and concrete. It was a work of art that Michaelangelo would have been proud of. The concrete and cheap ditchfinders made the handling interesting!

[Jams]

Done a few cars now with screens stuck in with bathroom sealant! First one I ever did was a Old Granada hearse years back!

 

Latest one was a 15 plate focus!!!

 

Makes a right mess! Don’t be tempted! ????

[cros]

This thicko got nicked for running on 3, but the more cunning knock a wedge under the axle near the pivot to keep the punctured wheel off the ground making the stupidity harder to spot. A skinflint neighbour drove his David Brown on the road for weeks like this rather than fix the puncture.

Trackrod ends were, and probably still are, often neglected on agric vehicles that need no MOT. One farm workshop where I worked routinely welded a bent bit of rod under the cup to bodge failed joints back together rather than replace them. I always give farm vehicle a wide berth when passing them.

[NorfolkNWeigh]

I've done a few over the years

 

The worse was probably making a windscreen pillar for a Carlton estate, out of wood and filler. The car had hit a skip and taken out the screen and pillar , paid £40 for it put a scrapyard screen in after straightening the pillar enough that it didn't just fall out, then sealed it all with mastic , a new inner trim and piece of batten were stuck to the mastic and filler shaped up to the glass. I sold it to a mate who knew the score and he even MOTd it like that 6 months later, eventually he got hit up the arse ( luckily!) and it was written off.

 

Welding the exhaust to the floor of an Audi 100, wasn't a good idea, apparently . Although again it got through a ticket, the 51/2j chrome rostyles with Colway rally tyres on the back of that Audi to get it an MOT would probably have got it an advise these days too.

Listening to Old Wives tales saw me feed a pair of tights into a Volvo 240 gearbox, the fucker still whined, just got really difficult to get into gear!

 

My last Disco had a few long term temporary* fixes, Araldite smeared on the diff pan, a non-stick Teflon battery tray and a pair of cheap jump leads direct to the battery to replace the earth strap , spring to mind, but no doubt there were others.

[AlabamaShrimp]

That Tommy Walsh stuff might look shit but it's cheap. No worry about breaking it and stuff like that or for something that'll get very little use.

 

Like I've a set of spanners and screwdrivers in a bag in the garage up the road. Saves time and don't care if they rust.

 

As for bodge I used to be a professional at it. Saved* two 304 pickups with filler, newspaper and screwing big bits of wood to the pickup bed to cover all the holes. One ended up a lovely purple when we just mixed together all the left over paint.

 

Tons of other stupid small stuff. Anything to get the car sold, we'll within reason if it's mechanical it would normally be changed its easier.

[andy18s]

You're all missing a trick here

Get some videos up on Utube,with a snazzy/infuriating tune and call them Motoring Life Hacks

Make a fortune you will......

[Cavcraft]

'Someone I know' opened the o/s/r door of a Mk4 Cortina to find non-existent wheel arch. Found 'long vehicle' sign in an HGV garage. Cut (very roughly) to shape, fillered under it, opened door, removed trim, pressed the button down and accidentally* cut through the rod so door couldn't be opened. Took car down lanes, wheel spinned in/out of a few fields and sold it in the dark to someone.

[Timewaster]

There are the ones from the factory.

 

Any truth in the story that Yugos could be braked from the passenger side if the passenger pressed hard enough?

 

Any 1970s RHD VW with the master cylinder on the left and a bendy rod to connect it to the pedal.

 

There must be many many more.....

[doubleyeller]

That sub £100 1991 Fiesta Quartz I bought off Cobbler's Gran had a bit of improvised bodgery in desperate circumstances one November night!

 

I should have known better than to take it up a mountain in winter with no AA cover - but actually that didn't matter because there was no mobile signal to call them on anyways!

I went wrapped up warm, went for a lovely walk on the fell, and returned to the car at the 4pm sunset. The ignition barrel wouldn't turn, and the steering column lock was therefore stubbornly on! This meant not only that I couldn't get the bastard thing started, but also meant that even the heater wouldn't work so death by Hypothermia was a real possibility - a Corporal Jones moment to say the least! Night was closing in and with nobody around to help and a six mile walk to the nearest farmhouse, I decided that this really was my Bear Grylls moment - "Keep your head and improvise Doubleyeller, for panic and negativity will result in your doom" I told myself!

 

 I unbolted the steering wheel and smashed the teeth off the steering lock with a blunt wood chisel, then ripped off the bottom of the steering column cowling to expose the arse-end of the ignition switch! Without a clue how to hot-wire a car, I simply kept jabbing at the terminals with a flat-blade until the dash lights lit up. next I scrabbled round in the tool bag, found a short length of picture wire, and wrapped it round the two terminals I had identified. So now, how to get it started? Well I thought about how you turn your key and hold it to start the engine, then it springs back once you let go of it. Simples. I held the screwdriver to the picture wire and tried the other terminals, all of a sudden the engine started turning over and I was scrabbling to find the choke, still attached to the piece of steering column cowling I had ripped off earlier, before the battery drained! So I survived. I suppose if all else failed I could have set fire to the car to keep warm and attract attention to my plight!

 

Moral of the story? keep your head in disaster, obviously, but even more importantly: Always carry a toolkit! you might think you're so impractical you can't even bang a nail in, but when the chips are really down and its do-it-or-die, you will utterly astonish yourself at what you can work out and mend! One thing I didn't have though: A working torch. If it had taken me 10 mins longer, it would have been totally dark, and running the interior light would have drained the battery!

[NorfolkNWeigh]

There are the ones from the factory.

Any truth in the story that Yugos could be braked from the passenger side if the passenger pressed hard enough?

Any 1970s RHD VW with the master cylinder on the left and a bendy rod to connect it to the pedal.

There must be many many more.....

Don't know about Yugos, but I can confirm 100% that you could with early Saab 9000s. We had a pool car C--PAN from when the 9000 was only a Turbo and it was great fun.

My mate discovered it by accident, he stretched out to get something out of his pocket and I almost stopped, couldn't work out what was wrong, we soon discovered if you put your feet almost up behind the glovebox and pushed, it applied the brakes.

After that, we'd get other people to drive it and make them stall at traffic lights and other infantile and probably dangerous things, until everyone in the transport department was aware of it.

We had later CD Griffin thing and it didn't work on that, so Saab either fixed it or it was a fault on that one car.

[Kiltox]

Some modern-ish Peugeot/Citroens were recalled for a similar issue

[catsinthewelder]

What do I win?

 

 

 

Don't worry,  we didn't go anywhere near a road.  The tractor has a PTO driven saw bench attached which is a bit of a shit to replace if you take it off.  This worked well enough that we might weld a bracket onto the saw bench so we can tow logs around without yellow rope.

[twosmoke300]

One of the tractor drivers from a big farm I used to work on , came back into the yard after a 15 mike trip up the main road with a m20 bolt as a top link pin . On a 3 leg flatlift( subsoiler) complete with packer roller !

He just couldn’t grasp how dangerous it was

[cros]

I don't think this qualifies as a bodge exactly, but it's an alarming procedure all the same. I walked into a friend's garage and was startled to see his Reliant Regal hanging from a beam by a piece of chain attached to the seized-on cylinder head. When even this failed to shift it he and his brother resorted to climbing on the front of the poor little bastard and bouncing up and down which lifted the rear wheels completely off the deck. It did eventually come off.

[DodgeRover]

Have seen a couple of cars left hanging from a stuck injector...

[NorfolkNWeigh]

Have seen a couple of cars left hanging from a stuck injector...

A mate left his Vito like that overnight , didn't work.

[rml2345]

Found this recently when investigating what I thought was a worn engine mount on my 75...

 

[bezzabsa]

[Kringle]

Found this recently when investigating what I thought was a worn engine mount on my 75...

W T F

[Split_Pin]

Guy I worked with couldnt get the 2 piece head off a Volvo FL7 so he briefly cranked it and they bith popped off. Seemed a bit dodgy to me in case the studs got snapped or something.