Annoying shite during prospective vehicle viewing

[Roobarb]

I'm sure there's a ton of pet hates out there for what people do when you got to view a car you're interested in.

 

Haggling and the 'immaculate condition' actually being a poorly sprayed post accident wreck aside, my pet hate:

 

I've had a bucket list for an old Porsche (no not an old long hood 911 / 356 that would be fantasy) and having recently sold one car, I'm in a position to buy something to sit in it's spot. That is to say, I can have another car AND stay married...

 

Okay, I'm not the most relaxed of passengers, but why is it, the owner always wants to 'show you what she'll do...' for anything that is remotely sporty, while you cling on to anything that might stop you from hitting or sliding into the dash / passenger door / roof / footwell etc.

 

Meanwhile the aforementioned owner continues to demonstrate how close to driving on two wheels (that you noticed before the test drive had cracked side walls) making you wonder if the bank job he is obviously late for is going to include shooters and a guy called 'Big John'.

 

One recent experience included cresting a hill with at least two tires no longer in contact with the road, only to see a tractor pulling out of a field just ahead of us...

 

Good job the interior was brown wipe clean vinyl. Oh and the brakes worked.

 

F.F.S. Stop it!

 

What are yours?

[MikeR]

the old saying   " we can fix that "   , yeah right .  should of sorted it .  next car

[SiC]

"What do you expect, it's a XX year old car."

 

Yes a few rattles is fine, but if the interior/bodywork has holes, tears, fag burns, etc then no matter the age or mileage, chances are it has not been looked after or cared for.

[Cavcraft]

When you go for a test drive and they turn the radio on. That can go straight off again, thanks. Ditto when they turn heater dials up a bit, or switch from hot to cold etc. Just makes me wonder what they're trying to hide.

[17-Coffees]

"Barn Find"

 

The new buzzword for "Sitting on my driveway for the past few years as it has a 'easy fix' problem but i've been too lazy to do anything about it" 

 

Upon saying that, anyone want to buy a 'Barn Find' Cappuccino from me... 

[mercrocker]

I hate the hanger-on mate - the one just nonchalantly slouching around the place chipping in the odd unwanted remark...."Don't really wanna sell her, do yer, Den?"    before adding a total piece of fiction such as how many are left, what the same thing fetched at an auction last month etc.   If you find a fault they are straight on it - they always know somebody who can fix a dent, spray a panel, blah blah.....Why didn't you tell your fucking pal before he put the ad up, then?

[Schaefft]

"Barn Find"

 

The new buzzword for "Sitting on my driveway for the past few years as it has a 'easy fix' problem but i've been too lazy to do anything about it" 

 

Upon saying that, anyone want to buy a 'Barn Find' Cappuccino from me... 

Go on...

[Bianconeri]

"They all do that", invariably that's bollocks.

 

"In the trade..........", invariably that's bollocks.

 

"They say that....",, invariably that's total bollocks.

[TripleRich]

"Its never done that before" when you find the thing is pissing fluid from every gasket & seal.

[Ghosty]

When I bought the Rover the seller was all 'OMG HONDA ENGINE STARTS 1ST TIME' etc. 

 

You all know the story by now.

[raggerminder]

"It is what it is."

 

So what is it?

[Junkman]

"It just needs..." - usually pertaining to a refurb of the most complex component of the car, or an unobtainable component is missing.

 

"95% complete" - he flogged the bits made from proper unobtainium before he listed the car for sale.

 

"The hard work is done" - the sills were patched with some pieces of an old bus stop and 14 pounds of wob.

 

"You need to be quick, I had so many people here to look at the car" - Thanks, good bye.

 

Especially with septic chod, a wrong engine and gearbox installed being sold as some elusive special model

 

See the Camaro I posted in the Camaro thread and this here:

 

https://suchen.mobile.de/fahrzeuge/details.html?id=232714377

 

The only available engine/box combination on a '57 Imperial is the mighty 392 Hemi and Torqueflite,

shiftable with the venerable push buttons.

 

This car has a post 1960 small block wedge:

 

 

And is bodged with floor shift:

 

 

Note that the push buttons are even still present!

(I'm not even talking about the incorrect upholstery materials used.)

 

Yet:

 

 

Sehr seltene Version mit diesem Motor

 

"Very rare variant with this engine."

 

Mind you, this isn't a private sale, it's a dealership!

 

 

The Oil Can Cafe is offering a 1971 Plymouth Road Runner in Plum Crazy with a 383 for an appropriate tariff.

I took the liberty to decypher the VIN and the build tag and it started life as a gold metallic Satellite with a 318.

[Schaefft]

lol

[taxi paul]

"You just need to take it for a little drive down the motorway now and again to keep the dpf clear".

[clayts450]

Me : "Wasn't this on eBay at the weekend from a trader in Loughborough for £200"

Seller : "No mate"

(Methinks: Funny that, the registration number is the same as the one in the photo on eBay)

Me : "Must have been another one then" (heart sinks as I'm forking out twice as much as he paid for it three days before, the swine)

[alcyonecorporation]

"It is what it is."

 

So what is it?

 

Only joking. 

[Bren]

"Car of the year this you know".

 

In 1970.

 

Log book/spare key/ history misplaced.

 

So is my trust - i'll look at another.

[somewhatfoolish]

Upon saying that, anyone want to buy a 'Barn Find' Cappuccino from me...

Tell me more, bwana.

[andy18s]

"Its never done that before" when you find the thing is pissing fluid from every gasket & seal.

lol,I had this when Skizzer bought the Disco a few years ago

It had Never failed to start,ever.

I didn't own a set of jump leads or starter pack,because I'd never needed them

Untill that day when instead of roaring into full V8 goodness,it gave a pathetic cough and just wouldn't have it.

Luckily the neighbour over the road was out playing with his bay window camper,and came trotting over with his well worn battery pack.

Oh how we laughed.....

[Parky]

"MOT expired but should get another no problem"

 

Ok Mystic Meg, you go and get that sorted and we will talk. Otherwise as far as I am concerned it is unroadworthy and worth scrap money only

[cpjitservices]

"yeah mate nothing on last mot, drives mint"

 

Despite youve checked it and it had a list of advisories.

[cpjitservices]

"MOT expired but should get another no problem"

 

Ok Mystic Meg, you go and get that sorted and we will talk. Otherwise as far as I am concerned it is unroadworthy and worth scrap money only

Yep someone locally selling an Audi A4 Avant, no MOT selling for £600. I think for that price he could put one on it... gave it the usual... "cars mint, will fly through MOT wont need enything, exhorst is brand new."

[timolloyd]

"find another!"

 

 

Gauntlet laid. Bye.

[cort16]

i went to see a golf recently and the guy said when I arrived oh you may notice the abs light is on. I've put my computer on it and it says it needs new brake pads .

Oh right

[Mr A Lawrence]

A few years ago we were looking for an mgf for the wife and found one in a garage in Rochdale.

 

Black paint, nice wheels and interior. Good roof and long mot, and at £995 seemed worth it.

 

wife fell in love with it!!

 

When I rang up I asked loads of questions about the bodywork such as dents, scratches and rust only to be told it was mint.

 

Told him were coming up from north wales so if it's that good we'll have it.

 

Got there and this guy said even before we walked up to the car that it's an old car, think it was about 12 yrs old, and it's not perfect.

 

This "mint on the phone" car had rust on the sills, wings and boot lid, a scratch down the side and it looked like someone had sex on the bonnet and left an arse print dent on it, interior looked and smelt like the inside of a dog kennel.

 

I asked if it was the one I'd rang about and he said it's the only one they've got.

 

I replied "thanks you lying, timewasting twat. You said it was mint on the phone and it's shit, we've come a long way to see this, thanks knobhead"

 

So people lying about stuff is my pet hate!!

 

His reply was "so you don't want it then?"

[Supernaut]

When you go for a test drive and they turn the radio on. That can go straight off again, thanks. Ditto when they turn heater dials up a bit, or switch from hot to cold etc. Just makes me wonder what they're trying to hide.

 

Gah!

 

When helping brothernaut look at cars, we looked at a Volvo V40 and I lost count of how many times I had to switch the radio off after the 'owner' kept turning it on at full blast.

It turned out the entirety of the suspension rattled like a skeleton wanking in a biscuit tin at any sniff of a bump, and the V5 had it registered to somebody else completely, in Aberlour.

 

We didn't buy it, obvs.

[MorrisItalSLX]

I hate it when you go to see a car and its absolutely filthy, especially the interior. I'm not expecting it to be fully detailed and polished but at least throw a bucket of water over it and vacuum the carpets for christs sake.

[Junkman]

Oh, and never remove some stinking aftermarket seat covers when you sell a car.

[strangeangel]

I don't expect miracles from the sort of cars I end up buying, but if you tell me obvious, clearly disprovable lies then you can insert the vehicle sideways.

 

One example: the first CJ I went to look at - it ran OK and wasn't a total rotter, but the footwells were swimming in water. Now, that might have been OK, as I assumed (wrongly, as it turns out) that they probably all did this, Sir.

 

However, when I asked the seller (a uniformed police officer who'd sneaked out of work to show it to me) about said lake, he replied that he'd just had the car valeted, and it hadn't dried out properly. I should explain at this point that the car was filthy inside and out, and smelt of dog. When I asked about the missing hood bag, he told me they're always on eBay for pennies (no, they aren't). FRO.

[Tamworthbay]

'Average condition for year' on a thirty year old car where the average condition is recycled into bean cans.