Project Memoirs from the Hard Shoulder - 20th March

[Brigsy]

Can remember my dissappointment as a kid. My dad test driven a mk2 astra 3door estate which i thought he was buying, then turned up with a skoda estelle 4door in dog cock red. Que loads of piss taking at school.

I dont mind them nowadays though. Retro cool 

[danthecapriman]

The biggest disappointment I had when I was younger was when my parents decided to get rid of the family Datsun Sunny Coupe! They had it donkeys years then decided to part ex it against a year old Vauxhall Vectra (R reg).

I was well disappointed when they did that. Especially given my hate for cars like the Vectra (at the time). It was the end for the Datsun too, it went to scrap after the trade in.

[wuvvum]

I had a Doblo of that generation, albeit a non-ULEZ-compliant 1.9 JTD.  They are a decent steer for a smoll van, I went to Somerset and back in mine and it was fine.

[Christine]

Though if my dad had waited a few months , we coulda had the   new  BL 1800 Princess instead  , which would have trumped  a mk3 cortina and Victor ... As it was , i had to wait another 4 years  before he got the  new Princess 1800 , but it was the  High Line .  Then  4 years after that,  he went well posh..Opel Rekord 2.0  Berlina S  by which time i'd left school , so no one saw it  that i could brag  to .  I used to borrow it  and thrash the living daylights out of it  .. I remember going home and saying the clutch was slipping a bit  and   him saying  it can't be ,  it it's only a few months old .. Yeah , i cooked it good !  

[adw1977]

4 hours ago, Christine said:

My dad  had  a   Austin 1800S  in 1970 ...

Then in 1974 , he replaced it with another brand new  ..... Austin 1800 ...not even a twin carb one .. i was gutted ..

The twin carb 1800S was dropped from the range when the 2200 was launched in 1972.

[Christine]

I got my finger stuck in one of the holes on the snazzy steering wheel  on the 1800 S .  

 Me mum was in a right flap . It bloody hurt , i didn't do it again ..

 

[Snipes]

I'm reminded of trying to talk my Dad into buying a Sapphire Cosworth from some shady back street garage back when he drove pre-VW Skodas lol!

edit: Amazingly, the garage is still there, but not as a showroom just an MOT station.

[Matty]

We went from a mk2 xr2 to a 200 quid yugo 511 in 92 when i was 11. When the arse fell out the world and my mum and dads mortgage sky rocketed.

[Zelandeth]

2 hours ago, Christine said:

I got my finger stuck in one of the holes on the snazzy steering wheel  on the 1800 S .  

 Me mum was in a right flap . It bloody hurt , i didn't do it again ..

 

I did that with the wheel on my Suzuki Cappuccino when stuck in a traffic jam once.  As you said, it's not something you do twice!

Said bored almost unconscious fidgeting was also responsible for managing to unhook the cable from the clutch pedal in one of the works vans.  Twice.

[BorniteIdentity]

Two weeks with the Doblo. It’s a useful little thing. On the basis it is a fish tank on wheels, it’s very simple to pilot. Visibility is great, steering is light, engine is fizzy, and it swallows anything you ask it. Here’s me fetching some delightful mid-century furniture.

It is comically under-geared. 3,000 rpm arrives at FIFTY miles an hour in top gear. Sixty is all it seems fair to ask of it, 70 is 4,000 rpm and actually 67mph. I’m guessing Fiat neither had a 1.6 or a 6 speed gearbox at the time of manufacture; both would have been wildly more suitable. Nonetheless, it is fine. Find a lorry and trundle along with it.

Cat approved ✅

The Avensis has some sort of deteriorating ignition problem. If you’re in too high a gear and try to accelerate it will hop and hesitate. I’m minded to spend £150 and replace leads, plugs and both coil packs - but it could also be the MAP sensor too. I may buy the whole lot, I may just play parts darts and start with cleaning the MAP and swapping the leads.  Any other advice welcome as always. 

Mini is hibernating for winter, and I’ve got another bargain arriving in a couple of weeks for Son 2.0

 

[bramz7]

That's quite odd as the Panda is doing a smidge above 3k revs at 70ish, and my 1.6 156 is doing a little bit less at the same speed, so who knows what Fiat were up to at the time. It's probably the case they lost track of what gearboxes they had, although the 1.4 Panda 100 is also notoriously buzzy at speed. 

[Snipes]

My old Citroen C4 was geared like that. Even after a couple of years driving it I'd still be reaching for that nonexistent 6th gear.

I'd doubt it would have topped 90mph with the gearing the way it was.

[BorniteIdentity]

4 minutes ago, bramz7 said:

That's quite odd as the Panda is doing a smidge above 3k revs at 70ish, and my 1.6 156 is doing a little bit less at the same speed, so who knows what Fiat were up to at the time. It's probably the case they lost track of what gearboxes they had, although the 1.4 Panda 100 is also notoriously buzzy at speed. 

I did find myself actually checking that it isn't a 6 speed box with a 5 speed knob on it - because it really would benefit from another gear or five.  I then wondered if it was different as its a WAV and it's there to help with the extra weight of the ramp (highly unlikely).  I guess someone could have replaced it with something that wasn't like for like but the most likely scenario is it's just under geared.

It's fine.  It'll piss me off on long journeys but nothing some noise-cancelling ear buds won't help with.

[kevins]

father in law had a 1.9jtd Doblo from new, I don't remember it being particularly short geared but it was noisy. (his was a 5 seat car, yours may have started life as a windowed van and had shorter gearing). He had it 16 years, along the way quite a few issues with trim and rear door latches but otherwise it was nondrivers car but it kept going. In the end it developed a judder which no one could fix(he tried DMF and mounts but didn't want to go further into Injectors or VNT turbo). Traded it in for a 2016 Citroen C4 which didn't Judder, mainly because half the time it wouldn't start!

[comfortablynumb]

I find the world is much more interesting at 55-60mph.

Sit back, relax and watch all the stressed out idiots fly past at a gazillion mph, only to be sat behind them at the next lights/roundabout.

Has also given me far more opportunities to think 'What was that??' and see something interesting, or recover various tools and ratchet straps that have fallen off something else because they were in a hurry😁

[Timewaster]

On 15/11/2025 at 17:08, Christine said:

I got my finger stuck in one of the holes on the snazzy steering wheel  on the 1800 S .  

 Me mum was in a right flap . It bloody hurt , i didn't do it again ..

 

My dad had Maxi HL with that wheel.

I hated that car too. The only thing that saved me from relentless piss taking at school was the ginger kid who's dad had an orange Maxi.

But oh! The relief I felt when the FSO estate my dad went to buy wouldn't start.

Looking back, some of his cars were quite cool, but as a kid I was embarrassed by every single one of them.

[captain_70s]

6 hours ago, BorniteIdentity said:

It is comically under-geared. 3,000 rpm arrives at FIFTY miles an hour in top gear. Sixty is all it seems fair to ask of it, 70 is 4,000 rpm and actually 67mph.

Dolomite gearing! Nearly. 50mph is 3,250rpm...

[AxWomble]

7 hours ago, bramz7 said:

That's quite odd as the Panda is doing a smidge above 3k revs at 70ish, and my 1.6 156 is doing a little bit less at the same speed, so who knows what Fiat were up to at the time. It's probably the case they lost track of what gearboxes they had, although the 1.4 Panda 100 is also notoriously buzzy at speed. 

A Panda is a lot lighter than a Doblo, so it would make sense that they went to a lower ratio box to make up for it. It’s quite common - I know that Renault did the same with the Clio 1.2 when they went between the Clio II and Clio III - same engine, different gear ratios to disguise the increased weight. 

[AxWomble]

7 hours ago, BorniteIdentity said:

I did find myself actually checking that it isn't a 6 speed box with a 5 speed knob on it - because it really would benefit from another gear or five.  I then wondered if it was different as its a WAV and it's there to help with the extra weight of the ramp (highly unlikely).  I guess someone could have replaced it with something that wasn't like for like but the most likely scenario is it's just under geared.

It's fine.  It'll piss me off on long journeys but nothing some noise-cancelling ear buds won't help with.

From a (short) lifetime of driving tiny, tinny Euro-tat, I’d say it’s completely normal to be revving as you’ve found at those speeds. 3500rpm would be more normal for an indicated 70mph but 4000rpm isn’t beyond the realms of possibility - especially for a relatively heavy car with a pretty small 8v engine. The Japs seem to get it right more of the time - but even the 1.6 Corolla I borrow on occasion is buzzing away quite uncomfortably at the legal limit. 

[BorniteIdentity]

11th March 2007 - I picked up a brand new Renault Clio 1.5 DCi 'Dynamique' from Smiths Peterborough.  I had it for about six months (from memory) as a sponsor car that the dealership never actually got around to branding.  I loved it.

There it is on collection day.  Looking resplendent on their forecourt.  As you can see - it's very much a MK3 Clio.

Yet, some 1 year 8 months and 14 days later - someone was driving off in a brand new MK2 Clio.  Also in black, but with none of the luxuries enjoyed above.

God I love a 'Run-out' model.

Anyway... One in!

I've been keeping an eye out for a cheap, first car for my second son to start learning in come January.  A few options presented themselves but I decided to shun anything convenient and opted for a 250 mile journey from the northern tip of Hertfordshire to the dramatic landscapes of the North East to bag this little charmer.  Fortunately the journey was very simple; 3 hours and 2 minutes on three different trains with perfect connections.  By 1015 I was sat in the driving seat having been met by @Shirley Knott at Durham railway station. 

Despite his complete modesty about the car, it's in remarkable condition for something that is now 17 years old.  Talk about the perfect seller - collected from the station, escorted back to his beautiful home, coffee offered and a boot full of spares which made me blush since this is a £450 runabout.

Documents were done and I bid him farewell - ready for a 4 hour run straight down the A1 (His house is 3 miles from it, mine is 1!)

Two issues presented themselves en-route.

Firstly - I'd somehow managed to leave with the car without paying him!  We'd both completely forgotten about money!  So I pulled over on off slip of the A1M - wired the money - and carried on.

Secondly - It's sort of broken.  

Having refuelled at Darlington (photographed above) I stuck my headphones on and listened to TMS to pass the time.  However, the EML made itself very apparent within about 5 minutes.  Knowing that Shirley was nervous about my expedition, and in the absence of any useful breakdown cover or ideas, I decided the best course of action was to simply say nothing and continue driving.  It's a £450 car after all - the absolute worst case is it spontaneously combusts and I throw it away.  There didn't appear to be a misfire, and it didn't appear to be ON fire so - much like when my marriage was failing - decided just to ignore it hope it'd fix itself.  It did not fix itself (the car or the marriage).  As the journey progressed, the steering became heavier and clumsier.  It's difficult to describe the fault, but I would say it was 'glitchy'.  Not smooth.  It will be heavy AF just adjusting it slightly, but then light as a feather going lock to lock.  It's unpredictable, and not in the slightest bit pleasant.  

Anyway - the solution was to simply drive faster.  After all - the quicker you get home, the less time the car has to go more wrong.  Genius, right? 

Jokes aside, I've never had such a good run on the A1 - and managed Darlington to Biggleswade in 3 hours 15 minutes.  In truth, I never once exceeded 70 mph - so that's an average speed of, what, 62 mph?  Factor in a brief rolling road block, roundabouts, some short 50mph sections and roadworks at Sandy - and that's bloody good going.

What's it like to drive?  Well - not as fun as a Mk1.  But I really do love those and have had two very good very cheap examples.  Oh - and not as squishy either.  But it's still soft, french and chunky in a way that a Fiesta is not.  This one has aged very gracefully indeed.  OH - and the wipers wipe the wrong way.  That cheered me up no end!

What next? Well - we'll see what the grease monkey says when he sticks the code reader on it.  I'm really, really hoping it's just a steering angle sensor or something equally cheap.  Any other ideas?  Obviously the internet is full of complete horror stories, so I've decided not to do that! 

Wish us luck.  And here's to run-out models - a thing that doesn't really happen any more.

 

[MrGTI6]

Well bought! 

I recall they kept selling the Clio Campus right up until the introduction of the Mk2 Twingo. A 58-plate must be one of the very last ones.

[Timewaster]

I have a vague memory of a kid at work PcPing a new Clio in 2005. He tried to fit an aftermarket hands free kit and somehow made a pigs ear of it connecting into the Renault loom, something to do with the auto volume/speed related wiring.

All was good until the phone rang then the steering went all heavy and horrible. The hands free kit must have triggered the speed related weighting up of the steering. 

Swiftly disconnecting the hands free and all was back to normal.

Apart from him shitting himself that he just destroyed a brand new car.

So hopefully it is just a sensor or loose plug.

 

[Shirley Knott]

Thanks for the kind words and apologies for the fiasco that unfolded- Needless to say it's a complete nightmare for both parties.

Honestly it's been such a good car for us, but that's the game with 17 year old cars really,  ANYTHING can happen (And it seems it has)

As mentioned- Fingers/arms/legs/toes crossed it's a daft sensor or some kind of easily remedied wiring/relay issue.... Worst case scenario, if the malady is something terminal/prohibitively expensive, I'll buy it back and set about it here/frag the ungrateful swine depending on what I find.

[St.Jude]

What’s the clutch like on this?

My sister had the same Clio, albeit a 1.2, and it was a nice enough car. I learnt to drive a bit in hers and I just remember the clutch being awfully heavy until the last 9/10ths when it went really light. 

[BorniteIdentity]

I believe this is what the cool kids call “GTA Effect”.

[crad]

great cars those clios. still miss mine despite the shower effect sunroof

[MrGTI6]

Stumbled across this on Facebook this morning. I'd be surprised if you weren't very much aware already, but the Sierra appears to be in safe hands.

[N Dentressangle]

Good to see

[High Jetter]

Get them on here!

[trigger]

2 hours ago, High Jetter said:

Get them on here!

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