Automotive bull5hit facts thread

[Formula Autos]

Cars and sportswear firms: 

 

The Jaguar and Lonsdale sportswear/accessories brands are “lifestyle” offshoots of the respective car companies. 
 

Italian sportswear company Kappa was started by a Milanese car dealer to promote the Lancia model of the same name.

After some intense competition, Fila were responsible for a special edition of the Lancia/Autobianchi Y10. Le Coq Sportif were livid at being beaten to this by Fila, and so changed all their logos in their advertising to a White Hen.

 

Reebok lent their name to Toyota for a special edition Rav 4. Nissan later copied the idea, launching the Juke Nismo - a tie-in deal with the Dutch clog manufacturer.

 

The logo of Sergio Tacchini’s eponymous sportswear brand inspired the Talbot logo. Before the last minute change of designation to Peugeot 309, the top of the range Talbot Arizona was to be known as the ST, with a tie-in offer of a free tracksuit, sports hold-all, and baseball cap for every buyer. Thus providing a deal that acknowledged the logo similarity and provided Tacchini with a revenue stream. Eventually this resulted in PSA having to come up with a compromise deal; Tacchini making team apparel for the Peugeot-Talbot rally team, and the seat covers for the last remaining Talbot - the Express van - until the deal came to an end in the mid ‘90s. After that, PSA were clear to drop the Talbot brand completely.

[RoverFolkUs]

Did you know that a hat or box of tissues on the parcel shelf means the driver has a special license to join a motorway at 30mph? 

If there's a tartan blanket underneath then that's the even less common license that gives you a 20mph entitlement 👍😄

[Richard_FM]

3 hours ago, RoverFolkUs said:

Did you know that a hat or box of tissues on the parcel shelf means the driver has a special license to join a motorway at 30mph? 

If there's a tartan blanket underneath then that's the even less common license that gives you a 20mph entitlement 👍😄

Especially if it's a red Nissan Micra K11!

A tin of travel sweets & a pre-Millennium map book probably allows you to drive at 50mph maximum in the middle lane for 20 miles.

[Metal Guru]

11 hours ago, Richard_FM said:

Especially if it's a red Nissan Micra K11!

A tin of travel sweets & a pre-Millennium map book probably allows you to drive at 50mph maximum in the middle lane for 20 miles.

I’d rather have someone with a pre-Millenium map than those morons who blindly follow sat Navs  and end up driving into a river. 

[AnnoyingPentium]

16 hours ago, RoverFolkUs said:

Did you know that a hat or box of tissues on the parcel shelf means the driver has a special license to join a motorway at 30mph? 

If there's a tartan blanket underneath then that's the even less common license that gives you a 20mph entitlement 👍😄

Sounds a bit like my Granda, but his driving style doesn't fit the image... lets just say there's a reason as to how I managed to pull the "oh shit" handle off the inside of the Dacia.

[Noel Tidybeard]

14 hours ago, Richard_FM said:

Especially if it's a red Austin Maestro/Princess!

A tin of travel sweets & a pre-Millennium map book probably allows you to drive at 50mph maximum in the middle lane for 20 miles.

EFA

[JimH]

20 hours ago, RoverFolkUs said:

Did you know that a hat or box of tissues on the parcel shelf means the driver has a special license to join a motorway at 30mph? 

I call bullshit. Everyone knows that a box of tissues on the parcel shelf is the automotive equivalent of growing pampas grass in your front garden. 

[dozeydustman]

2 hours ago, JimH said:

growing pampas grass in your front garden. 

Urban legend in these parts is growing Pampas grass in your front garden means you’re into car keys in the fruit bowl type parties.

[Metal Guru]

17 minutes ago, dozeydustman said:

Urban legend in these parts is growing Pampas grass in your front garden means you’re into car keys in the fruit bowl type parties.

I’ve had Pampas grass in my front garden for 30 years and never held or been to that sort of party.

[Richard_FM]

4 hours ago, dozeydustman said:

Urban legend in these parts is growing Pampas grass in your front garden means you’re into car keys in the fruit bowl type parties.

Or advertising an orange carpet for sale in the local paper!

[Dobloseven]

Classic car magazine price guides have decided to take a more realistic view of vehicle condition in their valuations and spares availability ratings. 

Condition 1,Excellent. These vehicles are the finest examples of their type. They should need no more than quite a lot of repairs to make them capable of passing an Mot and possibly occasional light use. 

Condition 2,Good.These should only need minor repairs before they can be loaded onto a transporter to be taken for a restoration lasting 20 years or until the owner dies. 

Condition 3,Average.Will never be used on the road again, but should be capable of providing front garden storage and making the house next door unsellable.

Condition 4,Poor.Strong rubble sacks and shovel needed. 

Spares availability. 

5.There's a glossy catalogue listing nearly 30 parts. But they're made in the far east out of recycled mop buckets. 

4.The owners club is getting a batch of bonnet badges made. 200 quid, payment upfront to pay for tooling. First deliveries September 2024.

3.A bloke in Ukraine has a huge warehouse full of every possible part. But he's not been answering emails for nearly a year. 

2.Halfords can supply a battery. But you'll have to alter the battery tray, the clamp and the terminals. 

1.There used to be a dealer in Tunbridge Wells. It closed 20,or was it 30,years ago. The owner kept a lot of NOS parts hoarded away. But his phone was disconnected in 2015 and the site has got houses on it now. 

[Matty]

21 hours ago, Metal Guru said:

I’ve had Pampas grass in my front garden for 30 years and never held or been to that sort of party.

Not trying hard enough

[Metal Guru]

11 hours ago, Matty said:

Not trying hard enough

Well I don’t really want anyone getting their hands on my car keys.

[DavidB]

More KSeries true facts:

The cup holder in an MGF is the same size as a bottle of K-Seal.

The MGF sales brochure gave the boot size dimensions as ‘adequately holds eight 5l bottles of Highland Spring’.

if using Waze in any KSeries engined car, the adverts always bring up the nearest scrap yard.

[rml2345]

Nissan had originally planned to call it's first small MPV the Dorma until the Italian government protested.

They instead called it Prarie because "Little House on the Prarie" isn't a country so no one was bothered. 

[Dobloseven]

 The BBC planned a sequel to one of its classic sitcoms, Are You Being Ignored? In it, Young Mr. Grace had sold his department store for conversion to luxury accomodation for asylum seekers. His business brain soon tires of retirement and he buys an ailing motor factors. He remames it Grace Car Parts, GCP for short, and re employs all his old staff. Captain Peacock rules the parts counter with a firm hand. "I really must complain about the poor level of customer service. There's a young man  outside been bent over the bonnet of a Fiat Punto for ten minutes. Will someone see if he needs help?" Mr. Humphries eyes light up. "Leave it to me, Captain Peacock", and minces off. Miss Brahms bursts in looking flustered.She delivers parts to local garages in a Vauxhall Combo van. "Where have you been till this time, Miss Brahms?". "Well, that cheeky young apprentice at Archway Autos said my bottom end sounded funny and offered to give it a good seeing to". "Hmph, thats no excuse, and has anyone seen Mr.Grainger?".Mr Lucas pipes up"I think he's asleep in the stores. He's made himself a mattress out of bubble wrap and old parts catalogues ". Mrs. Slocombe stares vacantly at a computer screen. There's a loud Meow and a furry tail appears below her desk. "I hope that's not what I think it is, Mrs. Slocombe, you know the company policy on bringing pets to work".She waves a motor trade magazine under his nose. "Well it says here, cat thefts are on the increase, and I don't want any strange men getting their hands on my pussy". General Manager Mr. Rumbold dashes down the steps from his mezzanine office. "Listen up everybody, Young Mr. Grace is coming in with some exciting news for us". On cue, Mr. Grace enters, held up by two scantily clad"nurses". He's dressed as a Mandarin. "Herro evellybody,I've been on a trade visit to the Far East and done a deal with a major Chinese manufacturer. GCP are now distributors of Won Long Dong autoparts. There's a lot of money in this rubbish, er, I mean quality gear, so I want you all to push Won Long Dong hard into the customers face."Mr.Humphies raises his eyebrows. Mr. Grace continues," And to help you, I've got you some promotional material". Each" nurse" unrolls a poster."Mechanics. Get your hands on Won Long Dong" and "Suspension parts? Insist on Won Long Dong for a better ride." Mr. Humphries faints. Another twenty minutes of innuendo follows...... 

 

 

[MikeR]

Ice Cold in Alex  was filmed in Southport sand dunes to allow Anthony Quayle to revisit his birth town .

It was envisaged the desert scenes would not see any sea at Southport , but problems arose when the filming trucks kept getting stuck in the sand .

Anthony Quayle remembered a trick from his teenage years where by doggers , who's cars got stuck in Ainsdale sand dunes would hand crank the cars out of trouble after paying for this advice , and a further payment to keep quiet about it happening .

This trick was included in the film for which Anthony Quayle was awarded a CBE for his services .  However hand cranking Katy turned out to be a lot harder than hand cranking a car and it led to a lot of verbal ..

He also arranged the supply of Carlsberg  beer glasses from his local for the final drink scene , with the "public house" located in the oriental grounds of the fun fare .

[NorfolkNWeigh]

On 3/30/2023 at 7:11 PM, Metal Guru said:

I’ve had Pampas grass in my front garden for 30 years and never held or been to that sort of party.

Ever wondered why your wife switches off the Ring doorbell when you’re at work?

[Rocket88]

On 12/20/2022 at 7:12 AM, ProgRocker said:

Strike the pose!

Contrary to popular opinion, Madonna's 1990 hit single Vogue wasn't about the magazine but in fact a tribute to the Rootes Group Singer Vogue.

A ropey example of a Singer Vogue was owned by an office assistant at a London based music studio, who was told to go and pick Madonna up from Heathrow Airport in 1989. She was so smitten with the car that wrote a song about it and the rest is history. 

Et voila……😂

[quicksilver]

While AC developed the Model 70, their rivals at Frank Tippen & Sons also designed an all-new invalid tricycle to replace the Delta and meet the new ministry specification. The new model, known as the Tippen Nova, was rejected by the ministry due to stability issues.

[Soundwave]

When Cadillac decided to produce the fifth generation Seville in RHD form and enter the UK market, they briefly entertained the idea of renaming it the Saville to increase sales. Associating the car with a much-loved national treasure would be sure to endear the British public to the car - options were said to include a shell-suit fabric trim and a cigar holder in the glovebox.

However, even as early as 1998, rumours were swirling that old Jimmy might actually be... less of a national treasure than initially thought. So the original Seville name was retained, and the car launched to critical and commercial indifference. Despite disappointing sales, the car did still capture its core target demographic of failing nightclub owners, second division footballers and small time drug dealers.

[ProgRocker]

In the 1950s Nissan almost named one of their models the "Glory Hole". After some deliberations before it's launch a swift decision was made to rename it "Gloria". 

[62 Austin]

The absence of certain cars on the road these days is not on account of them being complete P.O.S., but because they are being snapped up by museums around the world.

1. The execrable Ford Mustang II
2. The Renault R10
3. Some say there was a Cadillac called "The Cimarron"....1.8 L four w/ 88 hp, folks
4. The Catera, also an alleged Cadillac, really a badge-engineered Opel Omega
5. The Pontiac Aztek gives mute testimony to the fact that LSD is bad
6. Honourable Mention from "Car Throttle" magazine to 6 smeggy English cars.....Morris Marina, Rover 800, Austin Allegro, City Rover, Vauxhall Vectra, Triumph TR-7
7. The Chevy Citation: numbers 3,4,5 & 7 tell us why GM went bankrupt in 2008 after selling 424,000,000 cars
8.  This Peugeot 505 is awaiting purchase at a boneyard in California as we speak. A diamond in the rough. Mount some new wheels and tires, pop a cassette in the tape deck, and cruise in turbo-diesel style. --courtesy of The Truth About Cars. 

 

[reductiongear]

Apparently old clapped out BMW/Mercs/Audis or any old german saloon are driven by your local neighbourhood watch coordinator. 

[DavidB]

When Rob Halford is busy working every weekend at Halfords (owned and run by his parents Edna and Ernie Halfords), he doesn’t allow any other music to be played on the wall of CD players apart from Judas Priest (and a very limited selection of NWOBHM) (and some Metallica). If anyone is found playing anything other than this brand of heavy  metal, he immediately bars these people from ever entering the shop again (on weekends). Even ‘false metal’ is forbidden.

[DavidB]

Whenever plugging a diagnostics machine into a Mini car equipped with one of those Prince engines, all diagnostics software brings up a prompt saying “Press CTRL ALT and DEL to fix this problem”.

Any further attempts to diagnose after this, a blue screen will appear telling the user to “leave me alone, it’s fucked”, before the laptop self destructs.

[bangernomics]

The Maori word for car is waka...which originates from the meaning..canoe...waka is also an aircraft...so their might be some misunderstanding when you try to park your Boeing 747 at the hospital....

Fozzie bear has several modes of transport. His favourite being a waka waka waka.

[sierraman]

A misheard lyric on Elton Johns 1988 ‘I don’t want to go on with you like that’ from his seminal ‘Reg Strikes back’ album. Often misheard that he sings the following

‘… you got plans to make me one of four or five’

The actual lyrics are:

’I’ve got plans to get a 405’

As part of the record deal MCA gave him up front a 50% settlement by way of a new 1988 Peugeot 405 GRD in that dish water blue colour they did them in on the condition he plugged it in one of his songs. 

[DavidB]

That explains the follow up album

 

[sierraman]

Bosch pump and the Jets.